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PhotographyNut, Sharon, thank you so very much, dear!
Sorry for late, finally I’m back with this story, too ;)

XXVII. (I) (There’s a little quote from ‘Restless’ and another from ‘Chosen’, but it’s nothing tragic!)

(Buffy)

I jolt awake and this time it’s not because Spike shook me, I did it all on my own, and it made him wake up, too.

“Pet, wassup?” he asks me, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to wake you up, it’s just that I had a nightmare...” I explain.

“A nightmare?” he repeats, intrigued.

“Well, it’s not properly a nightmare, it’s more like an odd dream.”

“Tell me.”

“Okay. Willow and I were photographers and you were a kind of a fairground freak, really. People paid to come to your crypt and see you morph or pose in different ways. And Giles was your manager! Anyway Willow and I were making a calendar with your pictures. And then all of a sudden a weird guy appeared from out of nowhere and started talking about cheese,” I said.

“That is odd. You shouldn’t have eaten all those marshmallows yesterday, that’s the result!” he chuckles.

Well, he shouldn’t tease me too much about that, since he keeps having recurring nightmares about tons of shoes that make him sink. I don’t know exactly what it is about, I gotta investigate the matter better.

“But marshmallows are so yummy! And they are perfect after sex to recover my energy,” I wink.

“Yes, I know, and yesterday we * did * lost lots of energy!” he insinuates almost casually.

“Speaking of dreams, it’s time to tell her about those dreams in the story, before that so special and unique moment,” I tell him as he follows me in the other room.

“Hello, here’s another part of the story, a very important part!” I exclaim.

“At the end of that year, on December, Giles and Miss Calendar got married, but I won’t bore you with the details, it’s was just a very normal ceremony, nothing strange happened. Spike was there with me, because Angel and he had argued to decide who would wear the Gem of Amarra, since it was in the daytime. But it’s not what you think, the * loser* was the one that had to wear it. My poor Spike had bad luck and he had to go through all the ceremony with me.”

“Yeah, so you can easily imagine how boring it was, so much so that I tried more than once to take off my special ring in order to let the sun rays hit me through the windows, just so that torment could be over, but Buffy prevented me from doing that. So I asked her if I could threat the priest in order to make him go faster and jump to the conclusion, but no, Miss Please-Be-Quiet didn’t allow me to do that, either!” he snaps.

“Anyway, sunshine, this is not that interesting, jump to the beginning of the next year, when you started freaking out,” he exhorts me.

“What! Hey, I’ve never ever freaked out!” I protest.

“Believe me, you have!” he sneers, with the certainty that he’s right. Grrr, I hate it when he’s right!

“Okay, maybe I lost my mind a little bit...”

“A little bit? You acted way weirder than Dru ever did!”

“Don’t say that name!” I growl with jealousy, but then I calm down to continue with the story.

“Well, honey, the new year brought some scary dreams. Dreams about me getting older and older as Spike stayed always handsome and mostly young, as the rest of our family. And the older I got, the less attraction that Spike felt for me, which was more than normal, until he left me die all alone, abandoned by everyone. I kept having nightmares of that kind and every night they got more vivid and realistic.
I began talking about them with Spike and he reassured me, telling me that he would stay with me forever. But that kind of forever wasn’t enough for me. Yes, I was still young and pretty and I would be like that for many years, but time runs by quickly, and being a Slayer didn’t help, my life could end anytime. I didn’t want that, I wanted Spike to give me an eternal life that I could spend with him. But before asking him to do that, I went to Giles, to know something more about turned Slayers, but unfortunately the Watcher Diaries said nothing about that. No vampire had ever dared to do such a thing, so all the consequences were unknown. Anything could have happen, but I was ready for everything!”

“In fact, ever since that night she began asking me more insistently, without even waiting for her birthday and my answer was always the same. Actually, I would have done it in a heartbeat, I couldn’t ask for anything better, but truth is that I had to be sure about a certain thing first. Months went by... but things didn’t change. There was only one person who could really understand me, so I talked with him, privately.

“Tell me if this is not odd. Every Slayer has a death wish, but not Buffy...” I started explaining.

“Well, you should be happy about that,” Angel stated confused.

“Of course, I am. The problem is that... she has an * un-death wish *!” I clarified.

“Really?” he asked.

“Really. And no matter how glad I would be to please her, I can’t and you know why better than me.”

“Her soul?” he wondered with such sureness that it was almost a statement.

“Yeah. Just think about Dru. When you met her she was good and gentle, but then she asked you to turn her and she became serial killer Dru! And you loved her anyway, but that’s just the point. Loved. Past Tense. I don’t want a past with Buffy, I want a future with her, and if she loses her soul... I don’t know what would happen. She keeps saying that she is the Slayer, so it will be different, but there are no guarantees about that. Sure, I’m soulless but your teachings worked with me, as mine worked with my Childe and Grand Childer, but how can I be sure that they would work with her, too?” I wondered.”

(End I)

And in the second part, Buffy will finally get what she wants so badly, but the real question is... how?
I’ll give you the answer next time. ;)

I hope you’ll still like it





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