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Thank you so much, Caitie, I’m soooo glad you still like it! ;)
Here’s a very long chappy with something unexpected and unusual.. at least I wish so! ;)



V. (Spike) (I took something from ‘Fool for love’ and a little bit from ‘School Hard’, too, but it’s kinda different..)


My break is over, so now we’ll go on.

Ok. I didn’t kill human beings anymore, but it doesn’t mean that I was willing to be killed, especially by the Slayer.

I faced her in a fight with swords first, and hers must have had something magic, because she cut me above my left eye and that’s the only wound that never healed completely, I still have the scar, but I don’t complain, because it makes me even more gorgeous!

Anyway, you know, after twenty years as a vampire, I had learnt something. In fact, I came off better, the swords weren’t necessary anymore, as she was under my power by then, she grumbled something in her language, but I don’t speak Chinese! But I knew one thing for sure: she wanted to die, she had a death wish.


When I came back to my two Sires in poor condition and I told them what I had done, Angel didn’t say anything, but I knew he wasn’t happy about it, instead Drusilla was turned on and she gave me lots of attention.


Ah, my dear Dru. You know, it’s hard to explain, but she loved both me and Angel, although in two different ways.

She called her Sire her Bright Angel and me her Dark little Prince.. of course, I guess it wasn’t about our hair, especially my current hair look, if only she could see me now! I bleached it so much that it almost looks white! I‘ve dyed it since the mid sixties,, as if I wanted to mark a change since... that bad event.


By the way, one day you’ll hear about a certain Billy Idol and, before you wonder, actually he’s the one who copied me, it’s something that I can’t forgive him for, yet!

Sorry, I lost the thread of my speech. I was saying that Angel, Dru and I travelled all around the world, until at the beginning of the sixties when we arrived to Prague.

And once we were there I made one of my typical messes, but this time the mob got angrier than usual... and it was Drusilla the one who paid for the consequences, although Angel and I did the impossible to defend her. I don’t even dare to think about what would happen if Davidus, Prague’s Master Vampire, hadn’t arrived with his army, managing to rescue her.

But, unfortunately, Drusilla fell in love with Davidus and she decided to remain in Prague with him. Angel left, blind with pain and rage, so I was left alone.

What can I say? I adored Dru, I cared about her a lot and I still do, although I haven’t seen her anymore since that day, but.. loving her, no, I think that mine was mostly dependence from a Sire. This is the same reason why I also missed Angel a lot.

Anyway, I learned how to deal with it all alone, I decided to go to the States, I changed my look, as I’ve already told you, everyone at Woodstock ’69 was impressed by it, you know, I spent half time enjoying the music there, and the other half enjoying to see my hands move... but you’ve gotta forget that last thing I said!

It was the Seventies, the beginning of my punk age, I had to admit, and another Slayer had the bad luck to cross my path.

I was already pissed off due to what had happened in Prague, because, you know, ten years aren’t enough to forget, so I just wanted to stay on my own, have a nice trip on the subway and walk around somewhere... but she was also on that subway and she wasn’t going to leave me alone, so... she just looked for that! And I killed her due to two simple reasons: first, she had the same death wish that the Chinese Slayer had had, and second... I liked her leather coat too bloody much, in fact I took it afterwards.

You know, if the scar was the souvenir from the first Slayer, the coat was my souvenir from the second one.


I know that I keep talking about blood and death, but you shouldn’t be scared, quite the contrary, this stuff is routine for us, so you’ve gotta learn to live with it.


After the fight in New York, I made a decision. I wanted to stop moving from place to place, stop travelling around the world.

I wanted a stable town so I chose Sunnydale, because I had heard that there was a Hellmouth there, it wasn’t a boring place for sure, that’s why I call it Sunnyhell!

It was a piece of cake for me to get rid of the previous Master Vampire, he was just a scrub, I bet he hadn’t even been undead for thirty years! You know, I didn’t need to fight, not even a weapon was necessary.
I just had to tell him who I was, and he left town immediately after, running terrified.

Yeah, the news of the two Slayers whom I killed had spread everywhere, and for all the vampires I was a legend, I * still * am!
But being famous has its negative side, too. In fact, I lost count of all the me-wannabes, with the same hair, trying to act like me, talk like me, dress like me, it was so irritating! I had closed an eye for Billy Idol, but all those bloody emulators met the right punishment. I repeat, I * hate * being imitated!


So, I became the Master Vampire of Sunnyhell, but it wasn’t enough, I was still alone, and loneliness is a sodding feeling!

Sure, there were the minions of the previous Master who now worked for me, but they were not what I’d call company, the minions are only instruments.

I needed someone who could be at my same level. So I started going to the most popular place in Sunnyhell, The Bronze, to hear some good music and... have some snacks, but don’t worry, no kills!


By then, I went there almost every night, until one night I saw a guy at the counter who kept drinking and talking... alone, yes, he was that drunk! He seemed to be upset and that made me curious.
I remember this event very well, so I can give you all the details. I approached the guy...


“Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?” I asked him.
“Nothing.. everything!” he answered exasperated. “I’m pathetic, my life is so pathetic. I’m a good student, a very brilliant student who is going to get his degree, but study is not everything in life. There’s more and I want more!” he went on, pointing at someone in the dance floor.

It was a beautiful brunette girl with all the right curves in the right places, she was extremely sensual, you could say that just by the way she danced.

“Do you see that girl? It’s Faith, a freshman at Sunnydale College, but she has conquered everyone already, especially me! She is popular although she doesn’t want to be popular, she is not one of those girls that is all make-up and fashion, quite the contrary, she hates that kind of girls, but being the way she is made her more popular than them. She is a bad girl, so I bet she likes only the bad guys... Oh, sorry, where are my manners? I didn’t even make the introductions, yet. I’m Wesley... and I‘m a loser!” he pitied himself.

Seeing that guy so upset and desperate, who was clearly in pain due to an unreachable girl, hit too close home for me.

“I’m Spike. Well, if you like her, why don’t you go to her and tell her?” I asked him, but I already knew what his answer would be, because I used to be just like him.

“What? Oh, please, did you see her? And did you see me? I have no chance with her, I’m sure that she doesn’t even know that I exist. I can’t ever have her because... I’m beneath her!”

It was too much. God only knows how I hated that phrase ‘beneath her’, it brought me back to that painful night.

I wanted that guy, who was so sick of his life, of being the way he was, he wanted to be happy and he needed me, I could feel it. I managed to take him outside with me far from the undesired crowd.


“Why are we here?” he asked me, starting to get nervous.

“Relax, there’s nothing to fear. So, you said that you’re sick of your life..” I trailed.

“Hell yeah I am!” he declared resolute.. as alcohol overcame him.
“So, do you want to change it once and for all, to have more braveness, a bit of cockiness and less, much less remorse? Do you want a new existence?” I went on.

He looked at me scared, setting his glasses nervously.
“Who.. who are you?” he wondered.
I smiled at him.
“I can be your saviour. Do you remember that’ more ‘ you talked about? I can give you that, you just gotta say yes..” I incited him, getting closer. He didn’t back off, quite the contrary, he stared at me and nodded.

And from that night on he became my Childe, my first Childe.


You know, I’m not like Angel, I let the other vampires free to kill, at least my minions, they need to follow their instincts, although I always try to make them choose the homeless guys, the criminal, the bully-boys, the drunken men addicted to bars.. and I manage to make them obey me, at least eight times out of ten.

Anyway, Wesley told me pretty soon that he wanted to be like me, he asked me to teach him how to control his demon and I did.

It wasn’t easy, it took whole months, but finally I did it, although sometimes his demon comes off better and he ends up killing, but it’s something more than natural, after all, * I * am the basket case!


Although he was a vampire, he still did nothing but think about Faith.
But now he felt much more self-confident, so he started courting her and she got crazy for him.

But Wesley had been wrong before, you know about the fact that she ignored him, ‘cause she had already noticed him even when he was human, but since he was so quiet and cold that * she * thought that he didn’t like her! Funny, isn’t it?

They spent a good time together for a few months, but he couldn’t hide forever the reason why they met only after the sunset.

At the beginning she got scared and tried to fight against him, because, you know, Faith was very famous also due to her spicy and fierce temper, so riots were her routine.

Finally, he managed to calm her down and she accepted him anyway. They spent another bunch of months together like that, but then Wesley took the final decision, asking my permission, first.

I knew that he would do that sooner or later, so I didn’t say no. so, that night, he came back with an apparently dead Faith in his arms, but truth was that he had just turned her into one of us and she was just sleeping.

So, I also had my first Grand Childe and she also filled me with satisfaction and pride.

She kills, but only the guys who make heavy advances or betray their girlfriends. Wesley can’t stand the swaggers, so, due to the fact that those two categories are almost always the same, they killed dozens of people and still keep doing it.


Wesley also had a younger brother whom he loved very much.

He was the only one whom he had revealed his dark secret to. The boy in question is Andrew, a twenty years old guy who is addicted to TV, a science-fiction fan but mostly of vampires.

The first time Wesley introduced him to me... he quoted a monologue from a Dracula movie, confessing that he wanted to become a vampire, too, no matter what.
I told him that an audition wasn’t necessary to be a vampire, but I liked the guy and his enthusiasm, so I allowed Wes to turn him, too, and my Childe swore to me that he would teach him the self-control as I did with him, and as Angel did with me.

In fact, Andrew kills very, very rarely and mostly at the exit of the cinemas ... with all the movies he sees, he’s never ever missed one!

Plus, he’s very odd and has such weird ideas, but Wesley says that there’s nothing to worry about, because he used to be that way even when he was human.

Anyway, wanna know his last idea?

He thinks that humans crave so much to become vampires that we should do a quiz show where the biggest prize is just the un-life ... and he has already picked up a potential title: ‘Who wants to be a millenary?’


I just don’t know what kind of blood he drinks to think such a crap!



The most important thing is that finally I wasn’t alone anymore, I had my group. Dru would call it a family, but I don’t. A family is something different.

I love every one of them and they love me, too, otherwise they wouldn’t still be with me after more than twenty years.

But my real sunshine still had to come into my existence, but I’ll talk about that next time. I guess that for tonight I talked way too much.



It’s almost sunrise.. and I don’t see them yet.

It’s unfair, I’m almost one hundred and twenty four years old and I still get concerned if I don’t see them come back.

If only they took example from Andrew, if you give him a play station or you put him in front of a TV, watching a marathon of horror movies or some re-runs of some old series… he’s the happiest vamp in the world!

But those three are different... anyway, no bloody way that I’ll let them go out next time!

TBC

And next time Spike will (finally) talk about his sunshine with Buffy’s POV, are you ready? ;)

I hope you’ll like it..





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