By Heather Martin

*You can lie to others. You can lie to yourself. But you can’t lie to your dreams .*

Spoilers- Grave

Disclaimer- Joss owns all the characters from Buffy TVS. The soul mate principle idea was taken from L.J. Smith’s book series called Night World.

Distribution- Sure, just ask

Summary- Anyone know what dissociative fugue amnesia is? Well, Spike develops such a case after his sudden shiny soul, along with the unexpected return of humanity. He just can’t cope, so he pretends to be somebody he‘s not. As for Buffy, she lies to herself that Spike’s absence hasn’t effected her. But at night, she cannot keep him out of her dreams. What will happen to these two lost souls? Will they ever find their way? And will it be together?

This occurs after Grave. The time between episodes are unclear. Pretend that everything after ‘As You Were ‘only spanned a couple weeks. If you think about it, that makes sense. Seeing Red, Villians, 2 to Go, and Grave all happened in a couple days.

Chapter 16

Buffy sent Spike a glare of disapproval. “Why did you have to do that?”

Irritation came over Spike’s face. He sighed. “Was I just supposed to ‘let’ him hit me?”

“Yes,” Buffy retorted.

“What!?” he protested.

“You’ve got extra healing strength. Xander doesn’t,” she reasoned.

Xander recovered from the blow. He touched his nose, feeling a tiny amount of blood. He straightened up and pointed at the blond man before him accusingly.

“Your chip stopped working!”

“Oh, balls,” Spike muttered.

Buffy’s eyes darkened even more. “Why couldn’t you let me handle this?”

“Excuse me, I think it’s the whelp who started all this.”

“And he wouldn’t have if you could keep your lips shut and hands to yourself.”

Anya looked worried. “He’s not going to eat us, is he?”

Everybody ignored the vengeance demon’s comment. The witches and Dawn were too busy processing the fact that Spike was standing in front of the open door. The door that let in a stream of sunshine. Spike, Buffy, and Xander, however, were too involved to realize this.

“So I was supposed to prance in here and just stand while you explain? And if someone decided to smash my face in I would let them?”

“Yes,” Buffy confirmed.

“You are amazing, Summers.”

“Yeah, well. . . Yeah .”

They stared at each other challengingly. Spike couldn’t take it any longer and burst out laughing. Soon Buffy followed. Xander watched in total confusion.

Cleo raised an eyebrow at Willow. “What is going on?”

The red-head shrugged. “Don’t look at me.”

“I thought he was a vampire.”

“He is. Was. Uh . . . Should be.”

Buffy wiped her teary eyes, her laughter fading.

“I fail to see the humor,” Xander remarked.

“Sorry,” Buffy apologized.

Dawn stepped toward Spike. He looked curiously at her, not sure what to expect. He waited for her to make the first move. The teen took his arm and examined it. She noted the smooth surface.

“Why aren’t you smoking?” she asked.

Spike turned his head, noticing the open door for the first time. “You see, bit . . .”

“He’s human,” Cleo announced.

Xander’s eyes hugged out. “What!?”

“I can sense his aura. He’s alive.”

A smirk came to Spike’s lips. “That’s right. I got a beating heart and everythin.”

Anya looked relieved. “Oh, good, he’s not going to eat us. Unless he is a cannibal. You’re not a cannibal, are you?”

“No, luv. In fact I have this urge for hot wings at the moment.”

Buffy gave Spike a smile. “Oooo, I’m hungry too! Ice cream sounds good.”

Gesturing to Spike, Xander accused Buffy by saying, “ Is this why you went to England? To bring ’him’ back!? It had nothing to do with Giles, did it?”

“I wanted to talk to Giles, but yes, I did go to bring Spike home.” Her voice was defensive.

“I can’t believe this, Buffy! After what he did!”

Beside Buffy, Spike looked down at his hands in shame. He wished that he could forget that night in the bathroom. Of all his crimes, that one built up more regret than any other. He knew it would haunt him forever no matter what he did.

Buffy’s eyes flared. “You know nothing about what happened, Xander.”

“I know enough,” Xander shot back.

“Will you two shut up!” Dawn shouted. She was still holding Spike’s arm, but now it seemed to be a touch of tenderness instead of examination. “There has to be a story to this and I want to hear it.”

“Dawn’s right, we do have a story,” Buffy told them. She frowned at Xander. “But I don’t think right now would be a good time to tell it. Why don’t we meet up at the Magic Box later? After everyone has had time to calm down.”

“Yes, that sounds good,” Cleo said.

Xander was silent for a moment. Then, he said, “Fine, but I don’t think a whole month would change my feelings.”

They all left, agreeing to meet back up at seven that evening. Buffy collapsed on the couch, looking exhausted. She gazed over at Dawn.

“Why did they all have to be here when I got home?”

“I’m sorry,” Dawn said. “I told them not to go to the airport and they insisted on waiting for you here.”

“You want that ice cream, luv?” Spike questioned.

The slayer nodded. “There’s some rocky road in the freezer. Three scoops. I need some comfort food.”

“Sure thing, pet. Be right back.” He went off to the kitchen.

Dawn noticed Spike’s suitcase on the floor. “Is he staying here?” Her voice sounded surprised.

“Uh, yeah, Dawnie, I think he is.”

“I demand a very detailed explanation later on.”

Buffy nodded. “I know.”

“Till then, I’m gonna go study my vocab.”

Buffy smiled. “Okay.”

Her sister climbed up the stairs as Spike came back with a heaping bowl of ice cream. He handed it to Buffy, along with a spoon. She dug in, making a sound of ecstasy. Spike sat down on the couch next to her. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

They were both oblivious that Dawn was coming down to retrieve her forgotten backpack, which she had left in the living room. She halted at the sight of Buffy leaning against Spike.

“What am I going to do?” Buffy inquired.

Spike took a hand and stroked her side. “What’s that?”

“Xander couldn’t handle you being human. How is he going to react to the baby?”

A gasp escaped Dawn. She stared in shock and disbelief. She couldn’t have heard what she had just heard. It was impossible. Wasn’t it?

“He’ll have to deal somehow. This is your life, you can live it the way you choose,” Spike told Buffy.

“He’s my best friend, Spike. I don’t want to lose him.”

“If he really loves you he’ll deal with it.”

She nodded. “What am I going to say?” She sighed. “And I don’t have much time to figure it out. My jeans are already tight as can be.”

Spike grinned. “You’re going to be so cute.”

Buffy looked over at him in horror. “What!? I’m going to be the size of a watermelon.”

“A very cute watermelon,” he confirmed.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna have to train non-stop for months after this is through.”

“It’ll be worth it.”

“I know,” Buffy whispered.

Dawn blinked, taking in that Buffy and Spike were now kissing. Buffy’s bowl of ice cream was on the coffee table, forgotten and melting. She turned away, heading back upstairs. Doing vocabulary was the furthest thing from her mind.

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I’ve been so busy lately! Hopefully starting Monday, my homework load will decrease now that Senior projects are done. Thanks everyone for the reviews.