By Heather Martin

*You can lie to others. You can lie to yourself. But you can’t lie to your dreams .*

Spoilers- Grave

Disclaimer- Joss owns all the characters from Buffy TVS. The soul mate principle idea was taken from L.J. Smith’s book series called Night World.

Distribution- Sure, just ask

Summary- Anyone know what dissociative fugue amnesia is? Well, Spike develops such a case after his sudden shiny soul, along with the unexpected return of humanity. He just can’t cope, so he pretends to be somebody he‘s not. As for Buffy, she lies to herself that Spike’s absence hasn’t effected her. But at night, she cannot keep him out of her dreams. What will happen to these two lost souls? Will they ever find their way? And will it be together?

This occurs after Grave. The time between episodes are unclear. Pretend that everything after ‘As You Were ‘only spanned a couple weeks. If you think about it, that makes sense. Seeing Red, Villians, 2 to Go, and Grave all happened in a couple days.

Chapter 23

At first Angel didn’t comprehend what Buffy’s words meant. Then he took in where Buffy’s hand lay. He realized how she had taken on some weight. Beside her Spike smiled, beaming with pride instead of displaying his usual smirk. His head swam, finding the blow too much to handle.

Cordy was the first one to speak. “Congratulations. Really freaky and all that Spike is the father, I take it. But what do you expect on the hellmouth?” She shrugged.

Angel gave his associate a look that clearly said ’are you crazy?’.

“What?” Cordy said, now to Angel. “Don’t tell me you are going to go all broody on us. It isn’t any worse than you and that hoe Darla.”

“That was different,” Angel shot back.

“How?” she challenged. “I don’t see much of a difference. Buffy slept with an evil vampire and got pregnant. You slept with an evil vampire and got her pregnant. The only thing different here is that Spike is a human now. Which doesn‘t seem to be a problem in my eyes. I mean, Buffy doesn‘t have to worry about ever having to stake the father of her child.”

That got Angel, and he couldn’t find anything good to say.

Spike grinned, this time letting his regular arrogance show. “The cheerleader got you there, huh, peaches?”

Angel glared at Spike.

“This is quite remarkable,” Wesley commented. “A slayer with a child is a very rare occurrence. Many don’t survive long enough to conceive.”

“So, yay me,” Buffy chirped. “Do I get a prize?”

“In nine months,” Spike answered.

“It is vital that we keep this child a secret. Evil must not get their hands on it or the world is at stake,” Wesley said.

Spike took Buffy’s hand. “So, no patrolling, luv.”

A cute pout formed on the slayer’s face. She wasn’t liking the thought of being cooped up indoors. Her slayer nature made her restless at night, begging her to go kill something. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“So that’s it then?” Buffy asked.

“Excuse me?” Wesley asked.

“The prophecy? All I have to do is protect my baby from evil and we’re all good?”

“Well. . . Yes, essentially. The children will bring light unto the world as long as they aren’t corrupted by evil.”

Buffy covered her mouth and yawned. “Great. I’m going to bed. You guys got a place to stay?”

“Yes,” Angel replied. He didn’t elaborate.

A small smile formed on Cordy’s mouth. “We’re staying at the crappy motel downtown. We’ll be good for one night. It better be just one night anyway.”

Buffy quickly stood. She pulled Spike up with her.

“Goodnight then.”

The slayer and former vampire headed up the stairs without even showing the AI team out.

Cordy rolled her eyes. She gestured toward the direction where Buffy and Spike had disappeared. “Huh, how do you like that!?” she exclaimed in annoyance.

“It was rather rude,” Wes agreed.

Angel gathered Conner. He snuggly bundled him up with a blue blanket. Then he headed out the door without saying a word.

“I can’t wait to get home,” Cordeila muttered. “He gets so moody around Buffy.”

They began to exit the house, heading toward the car.

“And he isn’t moody back in LA?” Wes questioned.

“Okay, yeah.” She sighed. “But that is a ‘different’ kind of moody. That’s a ‘I’m a tortured vampire with a soul and need to make amends’ kind of moody. This is a ‘I’ve lost my one true love and will never get her back’ kind of moody. And if I had to choose between the moodies. . .”

Cordelia was cut off by Angel. “Stop right there. I can hear everything you are saying.”

“Vampire hearing. Right.” A frown came on her face. “Darnit, it is so unfair. We can’t ever talk behind your back.”

Angel just looked at her blankly.

“Hey! That’s what normal people do. They talk about their friends behind their backs.”

The brown-haired vampire gripped the stirring wheel. “Get in the car, Cordelia.”

She shut up and complied.

***************************

Buffy shed her clothes. Naked, she slipped under the covers beside Spike. She had gotten into the habit of getting into bed nude. There was no point wearing pajamas or a nightgown, as she was out of them a few moments later.

A sigh of relief escaped her. “God, I’m so glad that is over.”

Spike looked at her with surprise. “Really? You are happy he is gone?”

“Yeah, why would. . .? Oh.” She propped herself up on an elbow. “Geez, Spike. I know you think Angel is my idea of perfect or something. Maybe he was once, but not anymore. I won’t lie to you. I still love him. But when we’re around each other it is weird. It’s like I don’t even know him anymore. Don’t worry, kay. You are my guy. Soulmates, remember?”

Spike was quiet for a moment. Finally he nodded. “I remember.”

She leaned over and kissed him. She snuggled up to his body, wrapping an arm over his chest.

“Mmmm, love you.”

He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I know, luv. I know.”

“And you love me back, right?”

“Course. Always.”

She smiled. “Baby loves you too.”

He laughed. “And I love her.”

Her smile grew larger. “Our little girl. She’s going to be so cute.”

“Cause of her mum.”

“And her daddy,” Buffy insisted. She glanced up at him. “He’s quite the looker.”

He smirked. “Am I now?”

Buffy reached down and pinched his butt. “Well, he’s got a nice ass.” Her hand roamed to his front. She tugged at him playfully. “He’s also equipped with some other pleasant parts.”

“Want to see how pleasant my parts work?”

“Maybe.”

Spike swung her ontop of him.

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Guys, I’m going to finish this. Hopefully really soon too. To tell you the truth I can’t wait to finish this. I’ve kinda lost interest in it. I have other stories in my head that I’m dying to start. But I have to finish my WIP first. *sigh* At least two.