[Reviews - 10]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 3934 times

- Text Size +




Deep Inside

By Heather Martin

*You can lie to others. You can lie to yourself. But you can’t lie to your dreams .*

 
Spoilers- Grave

Disclaimer- Joss owns all the characters from Buffy TVS

Distribution- Sure, just ask

Summary- Anyone know what dissociative fugue amnesia is? Well, Spike develops such a case after his sudden shiny soul, along with the unexpected return of humanity. He just can’t cope, so he pretends to be somebody he‘s not. As for Buffy, she lies to herself that Spike’s absence hasn’t effected her. But at night, she cannot keep him out of her dreams. What will happen to these two lost souls? Will they ever find their way? And will it be together?

This occurs after Grave. The time between episodes are unclear. Pretend that everything after ‘As You Were ‘only spanned a couple weeks. If you think about it, that makes sense. Seeing Red, Villians, 2 to Go, and Grave all happened in a couple days.

I added a teeny tiny bit to chapter 1. It is sort of a memory/dream Spike has while being unconscious. Just to let you guys know. It doesn’t change the plot any, but it might enhance it.

Chapter 4

Spike jerked awake. He sat up, running a hand through his disheveled hair. Images of ‘her’ filled his brain. The dreams started about three days ago. Not too long, but long enough to frustrate him. She haunted him in his waking hours as well. Her luscious body would pop in his thoughts during the oddest of times. He felt connected to her. He knew her inside and out, even if he recalled never meeting her in reality. He wondered if his imagination had simply made her up.

He got out of bed, grabbing his shirt. He pulled the black cloth over his head. He needed new clothes. Since his awakening, the outfit he had on now was the only thing he had worn. If he kept this up people would start holding their noses as he walked by.

Today was the day where things had to change. The money that accompanied the wallet was gone, so the hotel room he was currently occupying wouldn’t be available tomorrow. A night on the streets of England didn’t appeal to him. Either he would have to find a job by the end of the day or . . . But who would grant a guy who only knew his name, height, and weight work?

Trying to calm himself, he walked over to the window. He opened the curtains, letting in the streaming light. As always, it blinded him, making him squint. It was getting better, however. His vision seemed to gradually be becoming used to the sun’s bright rays. He was beginning to believe that he actually lived in that cave he woke up by. Wherever he had been it must have been dark. His skin was another indication of that. With his white hair along with pale complexion, he would have thought himself an albino if it wasn’t for his blue eyes. A chuckle escaped his lips at that.

He went into the bathroom to start his morning ritual. He brushed his teeth and then took a shower. Afterward he stared into the mirror. He leaned over the sink. “Hello, William Shayne,” he told the reflection.

A frown marred his face. The person he saw didn’t seem to be him. The name sounded wrong as well. And no matter how many times he gazed into the mirror and said his name outloud, his feelings never changed.

* + * + * + *

A tapping came on Buffy’s door. The slayer rolled over in bed with a moan. “What?” she snapped.

“Willow just left,” Dawn told her from the hall. “All her stuff is gone now, so . . . um Mom’s room is open. What are we gonna do with it?”
Not now, Buffy thought. “We’ll figure it out later, Dawn.” Silently, she knew exactly what they would do with it.

“Ok.” There was a pause. “Do you know what time it is?”

“No,” Buffy said.

“Almost time for you to go to work.”

“Not going.”

“But . . . Are you not feeling well still?”

“No.”

“Oh, well, rest up then. I‘ll be at Janice‘s.”

Buffy didn’t want to move. Ever. In fact, she wanted to fade away from existence. Numbness had taken over her body. It was like right after she had come back from heaven. She simply couldn’t feel, or rather, wouldn’t let herself.

The day before she had went to the doctor. Cleo had been right, she was pregnant. Almost four months now. With Spike’s baby. No one knew yet, except herself and the witch.

What she was going to do she had no idea. She could barely support herself and Dawn, let alone a child. Each month it took all the money they had to make the house payment and groceries. And Social Services, oh God! They’d take her sister away for sure. A 21 year-old woman who worked at a fast-food joint with a baby out of wedlock. Sure, they’d love that. They’d say, “We adore your parenting skills. Dawn is in safe hands.” Yeah right!

The numbness started to evaporate, being replaced by anger. Spike had to run off, didn’t he? Big hypocrite. Always telling her not to run when things got tough. But when it gets too hard for him . . . Now her baby would have to grow up without a father. Or maybe not. There were . . . options.

Tears broke. She put her face in her hands. What was she thinking? She couldn’t possibly . . . That wasn’t an option. She had always thought that slayers couldn’t have children. This was a miracle. A huge miracle if you tossed in the fact that Spike was a vampire. You don’t throw miracles away.

Buffy dried her eyes. Realization hit then. This was her fault. Not Spike’s. She had been the one demanding comfort. She was the one to drive him away. The bathroom incident would have never happened if she would have stopped the insane affair earlier.

Yes, this was Buffy’s fault. This was her fault . . . And she would make it right.

* + * + * + *

Buffy pounded on Cleo and Willow’s apartment door. Buffy hadn’t seen inside it yet, but she guessed it was pretty nice. It was in the same building Xander lived in. Willow had probably planned it that way.

The door opened to display Cleo. She had her hair up in a pony-tail and held a spatula. Buffy pointed to the utensil. “Busy?”

“I was fixing myself a grilled cheese sandwich,” Cleo answered. “If you are looking for Willow she isn’t here. She’s out with her friend, Xander.”

“Actually, I came to see you,” Buffy told her.

A surprised expression came over Cleo’s face. “Me? What for?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “I need a spell.”

“Buffy I don’t . . .”

Then Cleo saw the desperation in the slayer’s eyes. The sadness.

“You were right, Cleo. I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this alone. I can’t. Please, please will you do this spell for me? Normally I don’t like magic, but this time it is my only choice,” Buffy pleaded.

Cleo let the girl in. “I’ll do it.”

Buffy nodded. “Thank you.”

“If I may ask, what is it for? I’m not doing anything to . . . harm the baby or make it so it never happened.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “No! I wouldn’t do that! It already crossed my mind and I pushed it away. I couldn’t.”

“Good.”

“I-I . . .” Buffy swallowed. “I need to either find someone or bring them to me.”

Understanding filled the witch. “I see. I can do that.” She smiled. “Right after I eat my sandwich.”

Buffy laughed through her tears.

_____________________________________________________

Which do you think it should be: a summoning spell or a location spell? I can’t decide.

I’ve got ideas for this fic. It isn’t just going to be Buffy and Spike meet again, Spike gets his memories back, they live happily ever after. Nope, it is going to be a little more involved than that. And Spike being human will not be so simple either.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 




 
 
 
 
 





You must login (register) to review.