Deep Inside

By Heather Martin

*You can lie to others. You can lie to yourself. But you can’t lie to your dreams .*

 
Spoilers- Grave

Disclaimer- Joss owns all the characters from Buffy TVS

Distribution- Sure, just ask

Summary- Anyone know what dissociative fugue amnesia is? Well, Spike develops such a case after his sudden shiny soul, along with the unexpected return of humanity. He just can’t cope, so he pretends to be somebody he‘s not. As for Buffy, she lies to herself that Spike’s absence hasn’t effected her. But at night, she cannot keep him out of her dreams. What will happen to these two lost souls? Will they ever find their way? And will it be together?

This occurs after Grave. The time between episodes are unclear. Pretend that everything after ‘As You Were ‘only spanned a couple weeks. If you think about it, that makes sense. Seeing Red, Villians, 2 to Go, and Grave all happened in a couple days.

 
Hey, sorry for the delay. I’ve been . . . well sort of busy, but a tad lazy too. Sorry, guys. Also for some reason I got stuck on this part. The whole eliminator part was a tough thing to do for some reason.

Oh, and a quick question: Is the word flat strictly used for apartments? If so, I made a boo-boo. Giles lives in a house not an apartment.

 
And now for the chapter you’ve all been waiting for. . .

 
 
Chapter 9

For the past few hours they had been trying to access a list of new residences for the last two months. So far they hadn’t made much progress. Buffy had been very surprised to discover that Giles had purchased a computer. This was the guy who didn’t even own a decent television. His excuse had been that he could send information to Sunnydale with no trouble. When logging on, however, his messenger popped up with eight contacts.

“Giles, you chat?”

“Uh . . .”

“Just face it, you’ve been sucked into the twenty-first century.” She laughed. “Hanging around us young people has corrupted your conservative ways.”

After spending hours, struggling to hack, they had become frustrated and moody.

Giles hit the keyboard with a fist. “Bloody concoction!”

“Should I call Willow?”

“Please do,” he replied with relief.

Heading to the phone, she abruptly stopped. She couldn’t call Will. She would have to give details. Details she wasn’t ready to tell.

Giles looked over. “What is it?”

“I can’t call Willow. She’ll need to know who I’m looking for.”

He took off his glasses. “You haven’t told the others?”

“No,” she replied softly.

He sighed. “Buffy, you can’t keep running and hiding from things.”

“I know. I should call. Can I take a walk to clear my head beforehand? Prepare what to say?”

“Good idea, do that.”

She gave a weak smile before stepping outside. She took in a deep, refreshing, breath, relieved to be alone. She sat down on the steps, looking up at the cloudy sky, which seemed to match her emotions.

* + * + * + *
Spike hadn’t been able to concentrate all day. Not that he had been able to before because of ‘her’, yet now he was filled with disturbance.

It was only a dream, he kept telling himself. So why did he feel so much guilt? He couldn’t have killed those people. Not in his mere twenty-eight years, even if he tried.

He shook his head. This was ridiculous. He wasn’t a killer. Hell, he had taken a bug he had found outside instead of squishing it the other day. You don’t save insects and turn around to shoot a human being.

No, it had to have only been a dream. An awful one, but that was all it had been.

Time to go to work rolled around. He dragged himself out of the house, trying to evade his worries. Focus on real life, mate, he told himself.

The sky was overcast and he missed the sun. In two months, since his awakening, he had grown used to the light. His skin had some color, and his eyes no longer squinted from the glare. The concept of getting a car arose a couple times but he quelled it. For some reason he couldn’t bring himself to ride in a shady automobile. Maybe he shouldn’t have sold the motorcycle. Oh well, the walk to work was good exercise.

He ended up in an alley, which was part of his normal route. He had walked through it everyday since getting his job at the pub, but there was something off about it this time. He halted, surveying the ground and building on either side. Nothing appeared to be wrong.

Spike shrugged and moved his feet forward again. That dream must have screwed with his brain more than he thought. No problem, all he had to do was prove to himself that his life was normal. That he was a mundane guys, not a murdering monster.

At that moment, a black figure popped in front of him. The person. . . no not a person. . . A demon? The thing wore a long cloak that covered its features. It lifted its arm. A long bony finger slipped out of the baggy sleeve, and pointed directly at Spike.

Spike took a step backward. A dream- He was still sleeping. Had to be.

The reaper-like-creature lifted his head. Where a face should be, all Spike saw was dark nothingness, that is except two glowing golden eyes. Like cat eyes in the night, he thought.

“I said I was coming, William Shayne. Or is it Spike?” Laughter, that was closer to shrieking, came from it. The finger never wavered. His voice was booming, and Spike was sure his bones would crack from the force of it.

“No, you’re neither. You’re nothing now. You shouldn’t exist,” it continued.

Spike couldn’t move or speak. All he could do was stare, waiting for it to end. To wake up or . . .

Blue lightning escaped the finger. It crackled, shooting with speed right at Spike.

* + * + * + *

Buffy sat peacefully for about fifteen minutes, trying to put the pieces of her thoughts together. All of a sudden her heart sped up. She jumped to her feet, slayer alertness taking over. Something wasn’t right. She could feel it deep inside her, coursing through her veins.

Her legs sprinted, directing her where to go. It was all a blur until she slowed, coming to an alley. She was greeted by a dark form looming over a man. There was a crackling sound and sparks began to shoot out of the cloaked figure. Without pausing to a take in the scene, Buffy rammed into the male, tackling him out of the way. They both ended up on the ground, Buffy ontop.

“Bloody hell!”

Time stopped. Buffy had to remind herself to breath. In slow motion she lowered her gaze.

“Sp-ike?” she choked.

Memories of being in this exact position raced through her brain. She could feel the familiar body beneath her. Blue pools stared up at her and they seemed to be sucking her in. She was drowning in their endless ocean. Had they really been that blue before?

“You,” he whispered in awe.

Buffy didn’t know how to react. But it wouldn’t have mattered if she did, for the cloaked figure shifted his aim and electricity engulfed her.

_______________________________________________________

The whole eliminator thing will go into more detail later. And why Buffy could get pregnant and then sense when something bad was happening to Spike will be explained. I have an original idea about the whole Spuffy thing. At least I sure hope no one used it. At least not like this.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 
 





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