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Buffy stood outside room 13. After several attempts, she finally got the courage to knock.

'I can face Hell Gods, my own death, and armies of Uber-vamps...but confessing my feelings makes me want to piss my pants...'

"Come in," a female voice said.

Buffy furrowed her brow. Instant and burning jealousy rose up, practically choking her. She gnashed her teeth and went inside.

"What took you so long, Spikey?" Harmony purred, laying on the bed and toying with a bra strap. She bolted upright when she saw who it was. "You're not Spikey!"

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Harmony. Your powers of observation never cease to amaze me..." She clenched her fists.

"Get -- Get out!" Harmony said feebly.

"What are you doing back in Sunnydale, Harmony?"

"I'm waiting for Spike. He'll be back any minute. You should leave."

"No. You're the one who's leaving."

"But...Spike and I --"

"I said, leave!" Buffy spat.

Harmony was quaking with fear. "I'm--I'm Spike's guest! You can't kick me out!"

Buffy smiled in a way that made Harmony's borrowed blood run cold. "Perhaps," she said taking a stake out of her pocket, "you'd rather discuss this with Mr. Pointy?"

Harmony gulped. "No, I'm good."

"And why would you think that Spike would knock on his own door?" Buffy asked, astonished at the depth of the ditzy vamp's stupidity.

Harm quickly gathered her clothes, keeping one eye on the Slayer at all times.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike opened the door and entered the motel room.

"Sorry it took me so long, luv. The butcher --" He stopped when he saw Buffy, not Harmony, sitting on the bed.

She didn't look happy: her arms were crossed, her features were set in that 'stone-faced Buffy' look that he'd seen so often when she didn't want to show any emotion.

"Expecting someone else, Spikey? Sorry to disappoint," Buffy said coldly, her lips forming a tight, thin line.

"Buffy?" Spike put the brown paper bag down on the dresser absently, his eyes widening. A horror-stricken expression settled on his face. "What happened?! Did the Bringers attack? Is everyone --" He'd never forgive himself if, in his absence, the bad guys attacked and slaughtered the household.

Buffy interrupted him, "Everything's...okay. Everyone's fine."

He was relieved but confused. "Then why..."

"I...had to talk to you. Imagine my surprise when I found Harmony," she said with disgust, "all spread out on your bed wearing next to nothing." Buffy's heart ached. He was doing what she'd told him to do so many times -- moving on. And with Harmony of all people!

Spike ran a hand through his hair. "I bumped into her, okay? She needed somewhere to sleep for the day."

"Yeah, right!" Buffy said with a barking laugh. "She looked real sleepy."

"Where is she?" Spike asked, concerned that Buffy might have dusted her.

"Don't worry." Buffy pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. "Your girlfriend's fine. I just sent her packing, that's all."

"Girlfriend? Buffy there's nothing going on between --" He stopped, an angry look replacing his apologetic and surprised one. "It's none of your bloody business, is it? What right do you have to critique who I choose to spend my time with? You've made it clear that you have no interest in me anymore."

Buffy opened her mouth to respond, but Spike talked over her, pacing around the room as he often did when agitated.

"I'm tired of this, Buffy! I'm sick and bloody tired of playing this game. I'm not a fucking yo-yo that you can yank around! What's the deal? You don't want me but no one else can have me either? Did I miss the 'Property of Buffy Summers tattoo on my ass?!" He made a show of looking behind him at his butt. "Too bad I don't cast a reflection. I can't --"

"Spike, shut up!" Buffy yelled.

He stopped his ranting and pacing. His nostrils flared. "This is my room. You don't like what I'm saying? Then you can bloody well leave!"

"Fine! I will!" Buffy huffed, pushing past him to the door. She looked back at him. "Fuck Harmony's brains out for all care, shouldn't take you that long," Buffy sneered then stormed out.

"Bloody hell!" Spike kicked the wall, his boot went through the cheap plaster past his ankle. "Oh, fucking beautiful..." He tried to extricate his foot from the hole. "Bloody buggering..." he growled, his foot was stuck good.


Buffy was halfway down the parking lot when she stopped suddenly.

"What am I doing? So...he was with Harmony." She shuddered at the thought. "It's only because he didn't think I'd ever give him a chance. Come on, Buffy," she said to herself. "Tell him. Be an adult for once in your pathetic life. Don't run away again because things get too heavy."

She took a deep breath and turned back.


Spike was still trying to get his foot out of the wall. A string of colorful British curse words flowed from his mouth.

"Son of a bloody -- Argh!" He pulled his foot free; the momentum carried him stumbling backwards into the dresser with a crash.

"OWW FUCK!" Spike yelled, hitting his head against the dresser and falling on his butt.

Buffy burst in the room, ready for action. "Spike! What happened?!" She looked around for an attacker.

He rubbed his injured head and stood quickly. "Nothing."

"Well, something happened..." Buffy looked at the hole in the wall, his plaster powder covered boot and figured out roughly what must have happened. She giggled.

Spike was embarrassed yet again. "Nice of you to drop by, but you can sod off now."

Buffy forced the smile away. "Did the wall do something to you?"

"Leave!" Spike turned away from her, wishing he could crawl into the hole he'd made in the wall.

"Is...your head okay?" Buffy walked to him and reached out to touch the back of his head.

He shouldered her arm away. "Fine. Don't concern yourself."

"Too late," Buffy said softly. "Spike...I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, so you keep saying. I'm not in the mood to talk. I came here for some peace and quiet, I've gotten anything but. Please, just leave," Spike said, a pleading tone to his voice.

"I had a bad dream...about you," Buffy said quietly.

Spike looked at her.

"I came here, partly, because I needed to make sure you were okay."

Spike cast his eyes downward. "Well...thanks for your concern... But as you can see, I'm not mortally wounded." He could see that the dream had disturbed her. He smiled weakly. "Just a battle with a killer wall, nothing I can't handle. What happened to me in the dream?"

Buffy's eyes teared up. "You...got killed. I had to see you...my dreams sometimes come true..." She looked away from him.

"It could end up that way," Spike said gently, touched that she obviously cared about what happened to him. He squelched the hope that burst inside of him that she might care deeply for him. It was impossible, especially after what he'd done to her before leaving for Africa. "But I'll go down fighting."

Buffy's head snapped up. "Don't say that! You'll make it! Do you hear me?!"

Spike swallowed in surprise. "I'm not saying that I'll give up. Not all of us are going to make it, Buffy. I won't...let you be one of the casualties this time. I failed you before, I won't do it again," his voice was thick with emotion.

"You didn't fail me, Spike. That's the way it had to be."

Spike started pacing again. "No. No, if I had done what --"

Buffy moved into his path and put her hands on his chest. Spike had to stifle the sigh of pleasure he felt at her hands touching him. Buffy's wide green eyes bored into his. There was something in her eyes, a feeling, an emotion that he couldn't quite pin down.

"Stop blaming yourself for what happened back then. I don't blame you, I never did."

Spike looked down, he couldn't meet her eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of her again. He'd done too much of that lately.

Buffy touched his face gently. "Look at me, Spike."

Reluctantly, he met her gaze.

Buffy gulped. "I had a kind of...epiphany today...about you." Her hand caressed his cheekbone. Spike's eyelids fluttered as he unconsciously leaned into her touch. "I know now."

"What do you know?" Spike asked softly.

Her heart thundered. "I love you. I think I have for a long time... Do you still...feel the same way about me?"

His eyes showed his surprise. This couldn't possibly be happening. It had to be a trick by the First, It had done similar things to him in the basement. Sometimes It would tell him exactly what he longed to hear then It would laugh It's non-corporeal ass off when he fell for it.

Spike broke away from her, resuming his pacing.

Buffy frowned, her chin quivered. That wasn't the reaction she had been shooting for. "You don't...love me anymore?"

"I don't believe you," Spike said tightly. "This is... It's a trick or something. Buffy could never love me, I realize that now. I'm beneath her, just like she said..." He looked back at her, tears making his blue eyes brighter and lighter. "You're the First or one of It's minions -- you tricked me into believing you were Buffy before, in the basement. Telling me that you loved me..." his voice wavered. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" he shouted, the muscles of his face rippling.

There was a pounding on the connecting wall to the next room. "HEY! Trying to sleep in here!" a male voice declared.

They ignored it.

"Spike, it's really me! It's not a trick, please believe me!" Buffy said, then she remembered a factoid. "I touched you, the First can't touch anything."

Spike thought about that for a moment, then shook his head. "That just means...that you found a way to touch things. The real Buffy is probably home snuggled up in bed right now."

"Spike, think for a minute. Can you hear my heartbeat? Can you...smell me? You know my body better than I do." She blushed slightly. "Can't you tell it's me?"

Spike was even more confused; his brain was giving him conflicting information. She looked, sounded and smelled like Buffy -- but Buffy would never love him. He put his hands over his face.

"She could never love me, she said so... I don't deserve her. I'm evil. I'm a thing..."

Buffy went over to him and gently took his hands away from his face. "No, you're not. I treated you like shit when we were together. I was the 'thing', not you. Remember...I said before I could never trust you enough to love you?"

He only stared at her miserably.

"Well, I trust you. I trust you more to be there for me than anyone else. I was so wrong to think you weren't capable of love. And I love you. Please, tell me I didn't wait too long. Tell me you still love me," she asked, her eyes pleading with him.

Spike got that awed, adoring expression that she'd seen when she first returned from the dead. "It's...really you? You really mean what you're saying? Please, tell me the truth."

"Yes. I'm really Buffy Summers and yes, I love you, Spike -- whatever your last name is." She smiled slightly.

"Buffy..." Spike whispered, his eyes roaming over her face.

Buffy put her arms around his neck then leaned in and kissed him like she'd wanted to for so long. They sank into the kiss, their bodies craving the renewed contact. His arms wound around her, his hands rubbing over her back. He broke away to kiss her delicate neck.

"Spike, there's nothing going on between you and Harmony...is there?" Buffy asked breathlessly.

He pulled back to look into her hooded eyes. "No. I swear it. I was only being kind to her. I treated her so badly in the past..." His face contorted for a moment, remembering his rotten treatment of Harmony. Well he'd gotten a large dose of what loving someone who couldn't stand you was like... Talk about poetic justice.

"Good." Buffy smiled, then her eyes became fiery. "You're mine," Buffy said in a growl, putting her arms around his waist and pulling him hard against her.

Spike stared at her, his cock instantly hardening at the possessive tone of her voice. The little growl was a major turn-on too, she'd never done that before.

Buffy grabbed his ass and ground against him as she mashed her mouth back against his. She loved how ready he always was for her.

"Want you!" Buffy said. She needed to reclaim him as well as consummate their love.

Spike pulled back, breathing heavily (Buffy thought it was so cute that he hung on to the habit). "Are you sure, pet? After what --"

Buffy silenced him with her mouth, kissing him feverishly. She guided him back to the bed then pushed him down onto the mattress. Spike looked up at her, propping himself up on his elbows. He swallowed audibly.

Buffy kicked off her shoes then stripped off her shirt, tossing it onto his head. Spike quickly removed it and gaped at her. Her lips curled into a wily smile. She unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs then stepped out of them. She was wearing a pair of pink satin panties and nothing else. Spike couldn't move, he was afraid he'd wake up from this wonderful dream -- only to find himself alone and without hope. But his cock was jumping and jiving.

Buffy crawled on the bed, kneeling between his legs. She looked into his eyes as she started undoing his jeans. She lowered his zipper slowly.

"You still go commando?" she teased.

Spike just kept staring at her.

"Whoa, that's a big 'Yes'!" Buffy giggled when his erect cock popped up. She pushed his t-shirt up. "Raise your arms," she ordered.

Spike sat up and raised his arms. Buffy took his shirt off and tossed it behind her. Her hands immediately began running over his chest. She loved the way his muscles felt under her palms.

"I missed you..." Buffy said, kissing his neck.

Spike's eyes fell closed, he was lost in pleasure. He could be dusted right now and still be happy. It still seemed unbelievable, unreal.

Buffy slid back down his body to stand at the end of the bed. She kneeled down and removed his boots, then dragged his jeans down his legs, lightly scratching his thighs. Once they were off, she got back on the bed between his knees. Her hands ran from his thighs to his hips, to his stomach, up to his chest.

"I forgot how beautiful you were. I never told you how beautiful you always were to me. Even when we were actively trying to kill each other." Buffy gave him a slanted smile. She bent down and placed soft, wet kisses all over his chest then down his stomach. "So beautiful..." Buffy mumbled against his skin. "All mine..."

She looked up at him, getting a little concerned that he was just laying there. It wasn't like him not to participate. She didn't want this to be one-sided; they both should want this just as much as the other. He had a glazed, faraway look in his eyes.

"Spike? You want to do this, don't you? Spike?" She touched his face and smiled faintly. "Earth to Spike, come in please."

Spike eyes cleared a little. He grinned sheepishly. "Uh...what did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted to do this, if you aren't in the mood..."

But it was pretty obvious that part of him was all for it; the evidence was currently twitching on his stomach.

"You have no idea...how much I want you." His eyes blazed. "It just doesn't...seem real... Like I'm going to wake up..."

Buffy smiled and leaned down, brushing her tongue over his lips. "Hmmm, I wonder what I can do to prove it's not a dream...?"

Buffy trailed her tongue down his throat, giving his Adam's apple a nibble before moving down his chest. She made circles around his left nipple then wrapped her lips around the hard nub, sucking lightly.

"Ahhh -- Oh Buffy," Spike tilted his head back.

She moved to the other nipple, repeating her actions. She was dying to feel his hands on her body, but it was important that she do this to him, for him; to show that she worshipped his body too. When they'd been together before, it had been all him. She had gone down on him and done other things like that, but her heart had never been in it. Now it was.

Buffy’s hands caressed his sides, then slid down his hips as her mouth continued downwards. Spike gasped when her lips came in contact with the head of his cock. Without using her hands on it yet, she kissed and licked it as it laid against his chiseled abs. She licked down the underside then back up again; her hands came into play, wrapping her fingers around his shaft as she swept her tongue over the glans.

Spike moaned and thrust forward slightly.

"So good..." Buffy said huskily. "Mmmm...always tasted so good." She took the head in her mouth, sliding down past the ridge. Buffy sucked and stroked him with her tongue, bobbing her head up and down. Her panties were drenched in anticipation of feeling him inside of her again.

"Ahhh--Bufffffy--Oh God!" Spike panted.

She lifted her mouth off and kissed the head again. "You want to cum in my mouth?"

He nearly came right then; he shivered and closed his eyes. Buffy smiled and licked at his cock while looking up at his face.

"Buffy..." He opened his eyes. "I want to be inside you."

Buffy crawled up his body, discarding her soaked panties along the way, and straddled his hips.

"Ask and ye shall receive," she said silkily.

Spike laid back and watched her hovering above him: so beautiful, so strong and golden. Buffy took his cock in her hand and slipped it between her slick nether lips. She rubbed it up and down her slit, her eyes closed, a moan escaped her mouth.

"Want you so bad, Spike," she breathed and sank down onto him, inch by excruciatingly wonderful inch.

When he was fully encased in her almost unbearable heat, they sighed. It was a feeling like going home for both of them. Spike finally began touching her; his hands ran up her thighs to her hips.

"Mmmm--Oh Spike--Ahhh!" Buffy moaned, gyrating her hips.

Spike groaned and gripped her hips tighter. Buffy took his wrists and moved his hands to her breasts; he kneaded her soft tits as she began riding him. Her mouth formed an oval of pleasure, she fought to keep her eyes open to watch his face; the muscles there rippled and shifted with each thrust.

They continued a slow and steady pace, looking into each other's eyes, small moans and gasps tumbling from their lips. Something like electricity flowed between them, the current building and building. They both felt and were strongly affected by it. It was dreamlike, surreal. Something that felt this good couldn't be real.

"Spike, I love you," Buffy whispered. It got easier every time she said it.

"I love you too, Buffy. There's no one else for me... It's always been you. Always..."

Buffy leaned down and kissed him slowly as she moved her hips.

They fucked and kissed leisurely. Their bodies wanted to rut like crazed wildebeests, but they had enough control to make this time different than the others had been. Buffy's modus operundi had been: burst in to crypt, find Spike, throw him down and fuck him, then run off, virtue fluttering (as Spike had put it). To further prove her love to him, she wanted to make this time last, to pour all her love into the act. It was lovemaking, not just a screw.

Spike's hands went around to her ass, rubbing and massaging her cheeks.

The minutes flew by until 20 minutes had passed, and still they moved against each other like waves in the ocean -- unhurriedly, rhythmically. Neither one knew how they were able to hold back, it had been so very long since they'd been together.

Buffy was nearing her limit of control, she needed to cum and make him cum badly. She knew something Spike would really like and decided to try it.

"Ohhh--Spike--Mmmm, baby, your cock feels so good inside of me!" She raised up and arched her back as she ground onto him. "Do you like my...hot pussy, baby? Does it feel good?" She flexed some of those fabled Slayer muscles around his shaft.

Spike arched his back and inhaled sharply. His hands gripped her thighs, his Adam's apple bobbed convulsively. Buffy smiled and bent back down to lick and suck at his ivory throat.

"Uhhhh--Buffy--God!" Spike groaned.

"You didn't answer me," she smiled wickedly, flexing her inner-muscles again, "do you like my hot pussy?"

"YES!" Spike shouted, bucking his hips. "God, yes!"

"Say it!" Buffy growled, squeezing him.

"I LOVE YOUR HOT PUSSY! I--LOVVVVVE--IT!" he yelled with abandon, his face slipping between vamp and human form.

"Your cock's so big and hard! You're always so hard for me! Mmmm, so g-goood!" Buffy panted, rising and falling more rapidly. She was getting off talking to him like this too. "I want to feel you cum in my pussy! I want to FEEL IT!"

Spike's hips slammed up repeatedly into her, his control gone. Buffy whimpered and cried out in pleasure as their flesh smacked together.

"Cum for me, pet! Unnnhhh! CUMMM!" Spike brushed a thumb over her clit.

That was all it took for her to violently climax, a veritable flood of moisture poured from her down his cock.

"SSSPPIKE!" Buffy threw her head back, her back arched, only his hands on her hips kept her from tumbling backwards. "YESOHYESSS! LOVE YOU!" she screamed, her body shook.

At the first squeeze of her powerful muscles and the heated 'love you', Spike erupted inside her like a volcano.

"GAH! UUUNGNG! BUFFFY!" he yelled, cords stood out in his neck.

His eyes rolled back in his head; his hips pistoned of their own accord. Buffy's hands covered his, she lifted them and entwined their fingers. She looked down into his blissful face as they rode out their intoxicating orgasms. His vampire visage shifted back to human. They gazed with half-lidded eyes at the other, panting and crying out loudly in ecstasy.

The bond that had always been between them, there even when they proclaimed to hate one another, became stronger. It occurred to them at the same instant that this was the way it was always meant to be, they felt it. Not just fucking, but sharing every part of themselves: heart, body and soul. They were meant to be. Buffy felt unstoppable, unbeatable. Nothing would stop her from making a life with her soulmate.

Buffy laid down on top of him, still trembling and trying to catch her breath. She rubbed her cheek lightly against his solid chest. Spike's hands stroked her back lovingly, tracing lazy circles on her flesh. They didn't need to say anything, no words were necessary.

Buffy sighed and smiled widely when she heard the rumbling purr of satisfaction and happiness coming from him. She raised her head to look at him again, he was smiling sleepily back at her. Buffy kissed him gently then laid her head back on his chest.

From the next motel room, they heard a male voice say, "Wow..." in an awestruck tone.

They chuckled and cuddled against each other. They held each other, his cock still buried deep inside her, until they both fell into a contented sleep.





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