Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry about the lack of updates - I was sick last week, but I'm getting back into the swing of things. Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews!
Chapter 36 – Duty Calls


Gingerly testing her shoulder, Buffy threw the sling into a corner of her bedroom, hating the restraining piece of cloth more with each passing day. She hated feeling helpless with the sling hindering her movements. The pain that still resided from the gunshot wound left her with a constant reminder- don’t get too close.

Spike’s words from the day before served as a reminder to her as well. They haunted her.

“I wasn’t the one who started this. You initiated everything, Buffy. From the start of the relationship to how far it went… it was always you.”

He had been right. She was the one who asked him to take her to bed. She was the one who went after him and lost sight of her goal. She fell in love.

Determined to get back to the way she used to be – needing the hard edge she once had – Buffy knew she had to get back to basics. Knowing what that entailed, she walked through her room, idly picking up the few possessions that were sitting out before she began searching through the drawers of her dresser. Pulling out a pair of running pants and a sports bra, she stopped when she saw an envelope at the bottom of the drawer.

Buffy frowned as she opened it, her breath catching in her throat when she saw the pictures inside. Flipping through them, her chin trembled, seeing candid shots of her and Spike together. None of them were posed, but the way they were standing obviously showed their love for each other.

Staring at one in particular, Buffy studied it for a long moment. She knew these were surveillance photos, but she couldn’t bring herself to be mad about it. The image that was captured seemed to silently describe who they really were. Taken the night of one of his dinner parties, Spike’s arm was wrapped firmly around her waist, his head bent toward her as Buffy whispered something into his ear. Both were smiling, lost in each other.

The picture seemed to encapsulate one side of their relationship that had been so real.

Buffy didn’t have to wonder how the pictures had gotten there. She knew Spike had left them at some point. She wasn’t sure if he had placed them there before or after they went their separate ways, but it didn’t seem important. He’d left her with something more tangible than the memories she carried with her and to some small extent, she was grateful.

Clearing her throat to try and fight back her emotions, she walked to her closet, shoving the pictures in a bag on the floor before turning and walking out of the room. Moving to the bedroom at the back of the house that she had long ago converted into a gym, Buffy quickly changed into the pants and sports bra, wanting to work off some tension.

Turning on the stereo, Buffy stepped onto the treadmill, starting with a warm-up jog. Working her way up to a run, she winced as the jarring movements of her running continuously shifted her shoulder a bit. Forcing herself to make it through the pain, Buffy breathed heavily as she continued running.

Hearing the sound of the phone ringing, Buffy slowed down to a walk before hopping off of the machine. Grabbing the cordless extension in the room, she tried to regulate her breathing before answering.

“Buffy?”

“Yeah, Giles?” she asked, picking up her water bottle and taking a long drink.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just exercising,” she said, feeling her heart rate returning to normal.

“You need to-”

“No fatherly lectures, please, Giles,” she said, cutting him off as she smiled. “I’m just doing a little bit of running.”

“It’s only been a little over a week- you need to take it easy,” he said, clearly ignoring her.

Looking at the ace bandage that was tightly wrapped around her shoulder, puffed out slightly from the thick bandage that covered her wound beneath it, Buffy flexed it slightly, cringing at the pain. “I’ll be okay,” she said after a moment. “No need to worry.”

“Actually… there’s a very pressing reason to worry.”

“Uh oh,” Buffy muttered, walking over to one of the machines in the room and sitting down. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“I sincerely doubt it,” he replied.

“Okay… hit me. What’s the next big apocalypse?” she joked, her smile fading when Giles didn’t answer right away. “Giles? You might as well tell me- the silent treatment isn’t helping here.”

“O’Neill is in town.”

“Oh, fun!” Buffy said with fake enthusiasm as her head fell forward into the palm of her hand. “Where is he?” she asked, her voice taking on a much graver tone.

“We’re looking for him.”

“You’re…? Then how do you know he’s even in town?” she asked in confusion. “I mean, if you haven’t see him…”

“We were tipped off,” Giles answered.

“And by the tone of your voice, you know the source.”

“I do.”

“Giles, don’t play this game with me. If Angelus is in town, I need to know everything. I want every advantage I can have.”

“Spike called me.”

Waiting for more to be said, Buffy bit her lip when it was obvious that Giles wouldn’t be offering any other information.

“I need to go,” she whispered in a choked voice.

“Buffy-”

Hanging up the phone before Giles could say anything else, Buffy quickly dialed the familiar number with trembling hands. Closing her eyes when she heard Ethan’s voice, Buffy tried to control her breathing. “Ethan, I need to talk to Spike.”

“Miss Summers-”

“And don’t give me any of your bullshit!” she cried, her nerves on edge as she stood up and walked toward one of the windows in the room, looking out at the setting sun. “Get him on the damn phone.”

Listening to the sound Ethan walking through the house, Buffy could barely make out the muffled voices before the familiar voice spoke to her.

“Buffy?”

“Thanks for telling me,” she said, gritting her teeth. “I really appreciate the warning.”

Spike sighed. “Giles called you?”

“Yeah. Apparently my boss cares more about my well-being than the man who…” Trailing off in a choked voice, Buffy took a deep breath, needing to pull herself together. “You know what? Never mind.”

Hanging up the phone, she slowly walked through the room, sitting down on a nearby bench-seat. “Get it together,” she muttered, jumping when the phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, Buffy was tempted to let it ring.

‘Let him stress out for awhile,’ she thought, sighing after a moment before answering the phone.

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Spike said, sounding surprisingly genuine. “I should have told you, I just didn’t want to worry you if you didn’t need to know.”

“Yeah, because if Angelus was trying to kill me in my sleep, when I didn’t know he was in town, my stress factor would be way down,” she said sarcastically.

“I was doing what I thought was best.”

“Well, let me let you in on a little secret- you don’t know what’s best for me. You never did.”

Buffy frowned when Spike laughed.

“Nice to know you believe that, love.”

“I’m serious, Spike,” she said with an edge to her tone.

“Say it like you mean it,” he replied in a teasing voice.

“Stop it,” Buffy said, nearly hitting the wall in frustration. “Just stop it.”

Spike sighed heavily. Buffy could practically see him gritting his teeth and looking at the ceiling. Shaking her head to clear it of the disturbing thoughts, she tried to forget that she knew him so well.

“I miss you,” he said quietly, causing Buffy’s breath to catch in her throat at the soft admission.

“No, you don’t,” she said in a voice that surprised even her. “Stop doing this.”

“Doing what?” he asked in exasperation.

“This hot and cold routine that you’ve got going on! I hate it, Spike. You can’t make a decision and stick with it. You could have had me and you threw that chance away… more than once. Now that… I’m guessing you’re bored again, you want to play this game and…”

“I’m not the only one who’s doing this, Buffy,” he said quietly.

Running a hand over her face, she sighed in soft acceptance. “You’re right,” she whispered with a sigh. “You’re right,” she repeated with more conviction. “And… and I just can’t take it anymore.”

“What are you saying?” he asked, his voice taking on a nervous quality.

“This is too hard, Spike,” she whispered, fighting the tears in her eyes. “We need to stop… whatever this is.”

“Buffy-”

“I just can’t-”

“Well… isn’t that sweet.”

Buffy felt her blood run cold at the sound of the voice behind her. Feeling short of breath, she turned around, her jaw tightening when she saw the brunette standing in the doorway.

“Buffy? Buffy! Who’s there?”

Unable to answer Spike, she maintained eye contact with the man, frozen in place.

“Hello, lover.”





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