Chapter 38 – Just For Tonight


Following Spike into the mansion, Buffy tiredly looked around, heavily leaning on him as the exhaustion of the day seemed to creep through her body. Snuggling deeper into the leather duster that was draped around her shoulders, she looked around the darkened interior.

“No houseguests?” she asked, glancing around.

“Told Ethan to get lost after you called and bitched at me,” he replied with an affectionate smile.

“I did not bitch,” she said indignantly, turning to face him. “I… okay, there might have been a little bitching, but I had good reason,” she added hastily, shivering when she felt his hand tenderly caress her cheek, slowly falling downward to rest on her throat. Glancing around the mansion, Buffy lowered her gaze to the floor, taking a deep breath before asking, “And there’s no one else here?”

Listening to the soft question, Spike tilted her head up to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“The woman… from yesterday,” she clarified, looking over his shoulder to avoid his gaze.

“Just a contact, Buffy,” he said in a soft voice, bringing his other hand up to cup her face, forcing her eyes back to his. “I told you it was nothing.”

“You’ve told me a lot of things,” she whispered, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. “Hurt a lot of-”

“But I don’t hurt you.”

Buffy thought about the scar on her neck. The blade of the knife pressed against her back. His fist hitting her jaw. The feel of her body hitting the counter as he choked her.

And he hadn’t hurt her.

There wasn’t one thing that had occurred between them that hadn’t turned her into a stronger person. It kept her alive when she thought she wouldn’t be able to make it. She owed that to him.

“I know,” she murmured, resting her head against his chest, relaxing when she felt his arms wrap around her, giving her the comfort she needed.

“There’s a lot to work through,” he whispered, never seeing Buffy’s eyes open as she continued to hold onto him.

“Is there?”

“We’ve never really talked. In the hospital, yeah, but… I think there’s some gaps that need filling in.”

“Can we leave it?” she asked, pulling back to look at him with a hopeful expression. “Just for tonight.”

“Just for tonight,” he agreed with a nod, brushing a kiss to her lips. “There’s one thing I’m not sure about,” he said, biting his lip as he suppressed a smile. “The night that we… when everything came out in the open? What if it hadn’t?”

Frowning slightly, Buffy tilted her head to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“You had a gun strapped to your thigh, Buffy,” he said in amusement. “What would have happened if that had been a normal night and I managed to get you into the bedroom?”

“Guess you wouldn’t have been getting any that night,” she teased, kissing his neck.

“Then I would have known that something was wrong,” he said, smiling when she pulled back to look at him. “There’s no way you can resist me, Goldilocks,” he continued, chuckling when she lightly slapped his chest.

“Pig,” she said, suppressing a giggle.

“You know it, baby.”

Buffy smiled warmly, her touch turning even gentler as she lightly ran a finger along his chest, feeling her nerves taking over. “Can we go upstairs now?”

Spike stepped back in surprise, obviously not expecting her request. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” she said quietly, nodding as she maintained eye contact with him, wanting him to know exactly how serious she was.

Taking her hand in his, Spike brought it to his lips, brushing a tender kiss to the back of it, never letting his gaze leave hers. “You told me something tonight,” he whispered, afraid to raise his voice for fear of breaking the fragile spell they seemed to be under. “Something that you’ve said before and then denied. Several times,” he added.

Struggling to keep the tears from surfacing, Buffy attempted to smile at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the moisture in her eyes as she tenderly cupped his cheek in her hand. “I love you,” she said in a strained voice.

“You’re sure about that this time?” he teased quietly, smiling when she laughed inaudibly.

“I am,” she replied with a nod.

“That works out nicely, then,” he murmured, covering her hand with his. “Because I never stopped loving you.”

Feeling the tears finally spill over, Buffy pulled him toward her, pressing her lips to his in a desperate kiss. A muffled cry left her lips when Spike swung her into his arms and carried her up the stairs. Separating a few moments later, her fingers remained laced in his hair as he lowered her to the ground. Their gazes remained locked as Buffy played with the soft strands beneath her fingertips.

“God, I’ve missed you,” she whispered, taking a deep breath to control the rest of her tears.

“Missed you, too, love,” he murmured, brushing a tear away that managed to escape her lashes. “What’s with the waterworks?”

“It’s… nothing,” she said, shaking her head as she wiped her eyes, trying to force a laugh. “Just an emotional day.”

“What can I do?” he asked softly, his eyes widening slightly when she took his hand, leading him to the bed. Shrugging off his duster as she walked, Buffy tossed it onto a nearby chair, leaving her in her workout pants and sports bra. “You don’t have-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Buffy said, stripping the bra over her head, smiling when Spike moved with lightning-fast speed to get to her. Shrieking when he wrapped his arms around her and pushed her down to the bed, Buffy giggled when his lips covered hers in a frantic kiss, separating a moment later to pull his shirt over his head. “And I thought I was the needy one,” she said with a smile, laughing when Spike grabbed her pants and panties, dragging them down her legs.

“It’s been too long,” he murmured, kicking off the rest of his clothes before leaving soft kisses along her skin as he climbed on top of her, closing his eyes when she wrapped her arms around him. His movements slowed as he looked at her. “Buffy,” he whispered, gently nuzzling the scar on her neck, breathing a sigh of relief when she smiled. “There’s something I need-”

“I never slept with him, Spike,” she whispered, caressing the contours of his face. “You know that. There was never anyone else.”

“Nice to know, love, but I was going to say I needed you to know something.”

Buffy felt her mouth go dry at the hidden implications. “O-okay,” she murmured nervously, closing her eyes when Spike’s fingers threaded through her hair.

“There was never anyone else,” he whispered, kissing her tenderly for a brief moment. “Never.”

“You mean that?” she whispered, looking up at him, her face filled with uncertainty. “After I took the O’Neill case, you showed up in Chicago. The girl at the gallery-”

“A woman who works for me. Her name is Cordelia Chase and she’s married to my friend Doyle. I wanted her there to distract Angel if he came in while I was talking to you.”

“And Darla?”

“Exactly who I said she was. If Angel hadn’t shown up in town, she was my informant to get to him. She was helping me so I could help you.”

Searching his face for a moment, a sad smile played on her lips as she rapidly blinked away the tears. “Love me, Spike,” she whispered, closing her eyes when the tears spilled down her cheeks as he gently entered her. “Just love me.”

“I love you,” he whispered, moving inside of her as he tenderly brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” she said in a choked voice. “It’s always been you,” she gasped as he sped up his thrusts. “Never been anyone else.”

Rocking their hips together, Spike clung to Buffy, scared that she would disappear if he let her go. His lips continuously sought hers out, only separating from her when her back arched as she cried out from the stimulation.

Plunging into her with more force, Buffy’s gasps and moans seemed to spur him on as they moved together. “Need you,” she whispered, leaving gentle bites on his neck, feeling his muscles tense beneath her hands. “I’ve needed you so much.”

Her hips rising to meet his, her lips parted when she felt the familiar tightening in her belly. Arching up to meet him, her movements took on a desperate quality as she clung to him.

Screaming out her orgasm a moment later, she gasped for breath as Spike climaxed, his body tightening with the release before relaxing on top of her. Rolling over with Buffy firmly wrapped in his arms, he breathed heavily, trying to get his body under control. “Love you, baby,” he whispered, running a hand through her hair.

Buffy smiled against his chest, brushing a light kiss to his skin. “I know.”

* * * * *

Buffy felt as if she’d been staring at him for hours. The sharp angles of his face, the softness of his lips, the strong muscles in his torso. Everything was burned into her memory.

Turning to look at the clock, Buffy sighed, seeing what time it was. Climbing out of bed, she was careful not to wake him as she gathered her clothes, redressing quickly. Picking up one of his red silk shirts that was thrown over a chair, Buffy slipped it on, flipping her hair over the collar before quietly stepping out of the room.

Discovering a room with a phone, she quietly called a cab before sneaking back into his room and walking over to the desk that sat in the corner.

Finding a piece of paper a moment later, she quickly jotted down a note, fighting the tears in her eyes as she signed it. Walking toward the door, she paused as a tear escaped her lashes, slowly traveling down her cheek. Turning toward the sleeping man, her chin trembled as she walked over to the bed, leaning down to leave a soft kiss on his cheek. “Goodbye,” she whispered, slowly straightening.

With a look of determination, she walked out of the room without a second glance. She had a plane to catch.








Thanks so much to: lori, Franchesca, spuffette, Stephanie, jt, Cordykitten, tahmoe, Whitelighter354, Liz, demona424, baby spikes, Brittany, Furvus, Chelsea, H, DK, kim, jennybean, Opal, Irishwoman39, Jessica, flibble, jenny & willowmouse for reviewing!





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