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Author's Chapter Notes:
Filler chapter- sorry. It has to be done to set up the rest of the story, but I promise another update very soon :-)
Chapter 9 – A Job to Do


“Buffy?”

Giles’ voice traveled through the phone, obviously trying to wake up. She could hear the sound of mattress springs as he sat up and nearly smiled when she pictured him putting on his glasses, only to take them off and polish them.

“Is something wrong?” he asked after a moment.

“I can’t do this, Giles,” she whispered, feeling her stomach flip as she sat down on the porch swing, her nerves leaving her strung out and confused.

“If you’re talking about your assignment-”

“I am, and I can’t,” she said softly. “I know you were counting on me, but…”

“Do you really need to know my response to that?” he asked.

“If you knew him,” Buffy continued, feeling desperation begin to sink into her. “If you knew who he was, you would understand…”

“Buffy,” he said slowly, speaking in a soft voice. “I want you to rationally think about what you’re saying to me. You know who this man is. You know what he’s capable of.”

“I know,” she replied in a strained voice. “I do know that…but Giles…I just don’t think we should be focusing our energy- at least not to this much of an extent- on him. Angelus is the bigger and more dangerous threat, and if we could just-”

“He is… but he’s not the one we’re going after at this time. His time will come, Buffy. Right now, we’re focusing our attention on Reed, and that means you have to handle the situation- whatever that may be.”

“I just think…”

“You have an assignment, Agent Summers,” Giles said, a hard edge in his tone. “I expect you to remember that.”

“Yes, sir,” she murmured, fighting the tears in her eyes. She hated it when she had something that she genuinely wanted to say and Giles pulled rank on her.

Sighing heavily, he continued, “I know this is hard. Your job is to get close and find out where he’s going to strike next. I know that has to be difficult, but the fact remains- you’re not in his group of friends; therefore, he’s not going to tell you what he’s doing. You have to earn that trust, and it is our hope that he either trusts you enough or he slips up. You’re to play the role of his girlfriend, Buffy, and I know you can do this. If you feel that you can’t, I can take you off of the assignment and put Faith in your place, but that’s your choice.”

“No,” Buffy said quickly, a little louder than she intended. The idea of Faith Lehane getting close to Spike made her want to gag. “No…it’s okay,” she said, softening her tone. “I can do this.”

“It’s difficult,” Giles said in an understanding tone. “You get close to the man and not the criminal, and it’s extremely hard to differentiate between the two…but I know you, Buffy. I know you have it in you to do this. You’re an extraordinary woman, and your strength shows in everything that you do.”

“Strength isn’t a show of force- it’s something deeper. Something you can read in the eyes. Something that you possess.”

Closing her eyes at the memory of Spike’s voice, Buffy shook her head, needing to clear it of her thoughts. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“You know I’m here for you,” he said in a comforting voice.

“I know,” she whispered, taking a deep breath as her emotions began to get the better of her. “Thanks, Giles.”

“Good night, Buffy.”

Hanging up the phone, she let it fall onto the cushion of the swing as her head dropped into her hands.

‘Giles is right,’ she thought to herself, running her hands through her hair. ‘This is a job…a job. Nothing more than that.’

Slowly sitting up a little straighter, she ran her hands through her hair, pushing the loose strands away from her face as she stared into the darkness.

‘Then why is it so hard?’

* * * * *

Wandering through her house later that night, Buffy irritably rolled her shoulders as she entered the kitchen. After lying in bed for over an hour and unable to go to sleep, she had finally given up.

Making some hot chocolate for herself, she carried it into the living room, smiling at the memory of her mother doing the same thing every night that she couldn’t sleep. It was one of her favorite memories and one of the times she missed the most.

Staring sightlessly into her living room, Buffy’s gaze soon focused on a bookshelf sitting in the corner. Carefully setting her mug down on the coffee table, she pulled her robe tighter as she walked over to it, selecting a photo album and carrying it back to the couch.

Settling down on the soft cushions, she began to slowly flip through the pages. Finding herself lost in the memories of her childhood, she smiled at the images in front of her. Pictures of her mother and father together, holding their baby daughter after she was brought home from the hospital.

“It’s amazing how pregnant women always have a glow, but women who’ve just had their babies always look bloated.”

Buffy giggled at the memory of her mother’s voice. She’d always hated that picture, but Buffy had insisted that it was a beautiful picture and that it showcased the family that she dreamed of. The family that now existed only in photographs and memories.

Smiling at the evolution of herself- coloring on an easel while her mother painted when she was a toddler, holding her lunchbox and smiling proudly at the camera on her first day of school, nervously standing next to her Homecoming date in Junior High- Buffy got lost in her walk down Memory Lane.

Seeing herself getting ready for the prom, standing next to her parents at her high school and college graduations, and smiling with her mother on the day she graduated to become an FBI agent, she took a deep breath to control her emotions.

Closing the album, Buffy shut her eyes, remembering the conversation she had with her mother that day.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you,” Joyce said, hugging her daughter. “I’m sorry your father couldn’t be here.”

“Me, too,” Buffy said softly, eagerly returning the hug. “Guess he couldn’t be bothered by his daughter.”

“Don’t think that,” her mother said, brushing the hair away from Buffy’s face. “This is your day and you deserve to be happy.”

“I think I will be, as long as I don’t marry a man like my father,” she replied dryly.

“You’ll find a man who’s right for you,” Joyce said, wrapping an arm around Buffy’s shoulders. “Someone who puts you above everything else and loves you for who you are…not for who he wants you to be.”

Curling up on the couch, Buffy felt tears sting her eyes at the memory of her mother and the truth behind what she’d said to her that day.

Had she found that man?

It was her responsibility to bend the situation to her advantage, but that still didn’t tell her what Spike’s reaction would be, no matter what the circumstances. And if he was the man for her, what would happen when the truth came out?

Because the truth always comes out.






Thanks so much to: Kimber, caatje, dev, Cordykitten, Franchesca, Bint, Tahmoe, Charlene, BuffyandSpikeForever, willowmouse, spufette, Brittany, baby spikes, B, Smitten, Caitie, & Crystal Pegasus for reviewing!





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