Chapter 10




She was floating on a big, fluffy white cloud. Although it was warm and safe there was something off that was disturbing her slumber. Buffy started to wiggle around trying to the perfect spot so she could return to her dreams. A hand settled on her hip to slow her motions. It slid down her belly to curl around her waist, pulling her back against a hard yet comfortable body. She sighed in contentment at having found the missing element. It was her new happy place, she decided.

The body curled so perfectly behind her shifted slightly so that there was something hard pressed against her bottom. She knew what it was. The nightmare had found her again. She tried to stifle the whimper but it must have escaped, because a drowsy voice broke through her fear.

“Shush, it’s all right. Go back to sleep.”

It was Spike.

She was safe and her body began to relax. He kissed her shoulder before burying his nose in her hair again. He pulled the comforter higher over their shoulders, cocooning them from the world. Buffy settled in and was willing her body to go back to sleep. This was too nice to interrupt even for her bladder that wanted release. She decided she could hold it a little longer. Fingers gently tickled her stomach making her want to giggle.

Ordering herself to stay perfectly still, she cataloged every sensation to memory. The breath on the back of her neck, his toenails jabbing the bottom of her feet, the hands holding her close, the way she curved into his body and even the erection pressing into her. It was all Spike and for the moment it was hers. A part of her wanted to turn over so they could make love. But the part of her that was scared was bigger so she didn’t move, feeling both grateful and frustrated because Spike had too much honor to initiate physical contact between them.

Buffy let her mind drift to the night she did have the courage to go to him. A warm feeling came over her as she remembered the kisses, the caresses, the feel of his tongue and hands. His pleads to give her pleasure echoed in her mind. She had no doubts that he could if she let him. She started to think maybe she could roll over but before she could do anything about, the phone rang. Her eyes flew open as she cursed the ill timed interruption.

“Damn it,” Spike muttered, rolling over and fumbling for it. “Yeah, Nagle here.” He paused as his body tensed next to Buffy’s. “Good morning, Mrs. Summers. Yeah, she’s here. Let me get her for you.”

Buffy moved onto her back, staring up at the phone Spike held out. She knew she had to take it. What she wanted didn’t matter anymore. It would only make things worse for her and Spike if she didn’t. She had to show herself to be a grownup and perfectly capable of making mature decisions for her life. No histrionics or tantrums that would give her mother ammunition to force her home. She took the receiver and after giving Spike one last look she closed her eyes as she brought it up to her ear.

“Hello, mom.”

“Hi, Buffy, I’ve been worried about you. Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Buffy said, sitting up. “I’m fine.” She watched Spike as he made his way to the bathroom. She wished he had stayed with her. It was always easier when he was around.

“You haven’t returned my phone calls,” Joyce said, in a parental disappointment tone. “Did you get the messages?”

“I’ve been busy,” Buffy lied. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“Detective Nagle stopped calling me, too.”

“I asked him not to talk to you.”

“Why?” Joyce asked.

Her mother’s sigh of frustration was easily audible over the phone. It made Buffy defensive even though she had no reason to be. If only she had been a good girl and listened to her all her mother’s warnings, maybe she would be graduating this year with her class. She covered her face with her hand as she tried to quiet the rapid beating of her heart.

“Mom, I know about your plan to try to bring me home,” Buffy said, taking a deep breath. She didn’t want to play games. Everything was easier to deal with if it was spelled out. “If you want to know something about what I’m doing then please talk to me. Not to Spike or to Captain Roberts.”

“Spike?”

“It’s William’s nickname,” Buffy said absently as she made her way into the living room. She had heard Spike go out through the other bathroom door. He was making coffee so she took a seat on the couch.

“You’re calling him Spike now?”

“Yes, it’s what everybody calls him.”

“What’s going on there, Buffy? Is he responding to your crush?” Her mother sounded almost panicked as she rattled off her questions. “Has he done anything to you?”

“I’m not a child, Mom. And it’s really none of your business,” Buffy told her calmly. “I don’t appreciate you asking.”

“Buffy, you’ve barely been out of the house,” Joyce said sternly. “You have no idea of how to take care of yourself…how men are.”

“I think I do.”

“It’s not going to be like when you were…before,” Joyce said, softly. “He’s a man not a boy. I don’t think you understand…”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Buffy said, interrupting her before she could get a lecture on sex. “Please don’t, okay?”

“Look, if you’re that insistent on going to college then you can go to UC Sunnydale. You can live at home where we can protect you and make sure you’re all right.”

“No, I need to stay here,” Buffy said. “We found out who she is, Mom. Her name is Faith Monroe. I need to finish this before I make a decision about what I want to do next. But it will be my decision not yours. So, don’t try to take me to court because I’ll fight you and when I win, I won’t ever speak to you again.”

“Don’t threaten me, young lady.”

“Then don’t threaten me. I love you and appreciate everything you’ve done but it’s my life now. And I have to finish this. Now I need to go.”

She hung up the phone without giving her mother a chance to respond. It was only going to escalate into a fight. A fight that neither of them could win but both could lose.

“Here, pet,” Spike said, putting a mug in front of her. “It’s hot chocolate.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said, taking it with a smile. The rich treat smelled good and it was loaded down with lots of marshmallows. She waited to take a sip until he settled on the couch next to her. “Mmmm, it’s perfect, Spike.” She sighed as she looked over the rim at him. “I don’t want to fight with her, you know, but she keeps trying to find something wrong with me and what I’m doing.”

“Not doing anything wrong, Luv” Spike said. “You did good while you were talking to her. You told her how you felt without getting defensive or angry. It showed maturity.”

It was one of those times that Spike was in his teacher mode. Although she appreciated him helping her and getting her back into life, sometimes she just wanted him to be a friend. Frustrated, she became flip and said the first thing that came to her mind.

“Why thank you, oh Jedi instructor, do I get a cookie for being a good girl?”

His reaction was instantaneous when he caught the sarcasm of her tone. His brows met in a sharp incline over his nose and his head tilted to the side. He gave her a look that was meant to curl her insides but she refused to back down.

“So, sorry for trying to help,” Spike said. “Next time you come begging for help I’ll remember that it’s not welcome.”

Buffy sighed. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You make me feel like a child when you talk to me like that. And I don’t want you to see me that way.”

The eyebrows parted and one went flying up. “Oh, that’s even better. You think I look at you like you’re a child? After the other night?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy said. She put her drink down with a thump. “How do you see me? Am I just a charity case? A problem you have to solve? An ego boost? A potential girlfriend? What?”

Spike’s head dropped onto the couch. His eyes closed. “I don’t know, Buffy. Honestly I haven’t figured it out yet. I just know that I have to help you get back on your feet.” He laughed and opened his eyes to look into hers. “And believe me I know that you’re a woman.”

She dropped her gaze to the couch as a flush filled her face. His words had sent a streak of desire through her and like him; she wasn’t sure what to do with it.

“So,” Buffy said, smiling. “Do I get that cookie?”

Spike laughed and reached over to rumple her hair. “No, only good girls do. Not sarcastic ones with big mouths. But I was thinking of us maybe taking a break.”

“A break? What kind of break?” Buffy asked suspiciously.

“I thought you trusted me? I’m hurt.”

“Please…I do but…”

“I thought that maybe we could get out of here for a few hours,” Spike said using the calm voice. “The last couple of days have been pretty intense. I know I could use a little fresh air and change of scenery.”

“I don’t know,” Buffy said, nibbling on her bottom lip. “You can go if you want.”

“A ride, Buffy,” Spike said. “You, me and the tank on the open road. I promise no unexpected lessons or anything.”

“You promise?”

“Just said I did.”

“Okay, then,” Buffy said.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be outside. To be somewhere where she didn’t have to think, or push herself, where she could relax, enjoy being with Spike. It was beginning to sound great as she headed off to get dressed.


~~~~~~~~

The day was perfect for a ride. It wasn’t too hot but the sun was still shining bright with hardly any clouds. Buffy was actually looking forward to being outside even if she wasn’t going to do anything but ride in a car. It seemed like forever since she had really taken the time to look at anything new or even familiar outside her home. There she knew every tree, every bush and even the curve of the grass growing around the sidewalk. With Spike she had the security to try new things, to push against her fears, and to just be Buffy.

They had stopped on the way out of town to fill the Desoto with gas. She was waiting in the car while Spike pumped the gas. The way he was talking earlier she knew he was planning on being gone for a few hours. Thinking back to the rides she used to take when she was younger, her mom always brought a cooler with snacks along. Wanting to relive something that had been fun, she scooted across the seat and leaned out the driver’s window.

“Spike,” Buffy said, breaking his attention away from the pump. He glanced over at her or rather she assumed he did. He was wearing mirrored sunglasses that only showed her reflection when she looked at him. “Can we get something to drink? And maybe some chips or something?”

“Yeah, sure,” Spike said, turning back to the pump. “Do you need cash?” He asked in an offhanded manner that made Buffy tense up. Surely he didn’t expect her to go in and get it? Buffy eyed the small store, shaking her head, deciding she didn’t want anything that bad.

“I don’t want to go in,” Buffy said softly. “It’s okay. I don’t need it”

“Sorry,” Spike said, before she could retreat into the car again. “I’ll go if you want. I said no lessons and no pressure. Let me finish with the gas, okay?”

It made her feel guilty that Spike was always doing stuff for her. Buffy turned back to the small store again. It couldn’t be dangerous, could it? It was broad daylight…no, that wouldn’t work as an argument. She had been kidnapped in daylight. It was small. It wasn’t that busy and besides Spike was right there. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her. Besides she was going to have to do these things on her own eventually or she may as well pack up and go home.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car.

“I’ll go,” Buffy said, trying to stop the trembling in her hands.

“Buffy,” Spike said, waiting until she met his gaze before continuing. “Keep looking to your right and left while on the way there. You always want to see who is around you. Check the reflection to see if anyone is following you in. Once you’re in there, scan the store as soon as you step in. See who’s in there, who makes you nervous, who looks safe, keep looking up. On the first sweep, spot where the sodas and the snacks are, that way you’re not wandering around. Show confidence.”

It was one of those times when she was grateful he was in teaching mode. It showed he understood what she was going through and it gave her the extra nudge she needed. She patted her pocket where the pepper spray was, put her head up, took the money that Spike held out, glanced around the parking lot then headed for the store. Halfway there she remembered that she hadn’t asked him what he wanted but she didn’t want to go back. She reassured herself with the fact she knew what he had at the apartment to munch on. All she had to do was get stuff she knew he liked and it would be fine.

Only one other person besides the cashier was revealed in her quick scan of the market. That person, an elderly man, was on the opposite side from where the sodas were and Buffy took an immediate left toward the coolers. She selected a couple of bottles of water and some soda then turned toward the snack aisle. One more look around the store before she debated over the choices. Not being able to make up her mind right away, she grabbed several different kinds of chips then some candy bars before turning to make her way to the cashier.

Halfway there the door opened and four teenage boys came in. They were talking loud, almost shouting out their conversation about heading out to the beach. Buffy tried to scoot around them but they were coming straight for her. Fear flashed through her and she froze.

Please, please, leave me alone, please, don’t come near me…

Buffy forgot about what Spike had told her. She ducked her head. She forgot about the pepper spray and even that if she screamed Spike would be there. She stood there and trembled, watching their feet as they came closer to her. They parted when they reached her, moving to go around her. One of them jostled her, knocking a bag of chips from her arms. She wanted to cry as panic filled her eyes with tears and a soundless scream echoed in her mind.

“Here, miss, you dropped this,” one of the boys said, perching the bag on her pile again.

Buffy nodded, unable to voice anything.

“You okay?” the boy asked, leaning down to look at her. “You don’t look so good. Is that your boyfriend out there by that cool car?”

She nodded.

“You want me to get him for you?”

She looked up. He wasn’t going to hurt her. He was concerned about her. She took a deep breath and tried to will the anxiety away.

“No, I’m fine,” she whispered. “I…just…”

“It’s cool, don’t worry. My name is Pedro. My sister gets a little tense sometimes, too. Here let me help you.”

He loaded up her purchases and took them over to the cashier. “You take care of yourself, okay?”

“Thank you,” Buffy managed to get out as she nodded her head. She glanced out to where Spike was watching her and smiled.

Maybe things were going to be okay after all.


to be continued…





You must login (register) to review.