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Chapter 15




“Can we go home?” Buffy asked, breaking away from the kiss.

Stunned by her request, Spike stared inquisitively down into her eyes. He wasn’t mistaken. She wanted to have sex. He swallowed. He knew it was passion for him not just a need to get laid. Buffy wanted him. She trusted him with her body and liked the pleasure he could give her. The thought humbled him. Never had anyone looked at him the way she did.

And it shamed him as he remembered that only an hour ago he had been flirting with Fred and wondering if they had a second chance when Buffy left. What was wrong with him? How could he ever go back to the mindless flirtations who shared his bed when she was gone? He was never going to be the same because of her. He knew what it was like to be looked at in adoration. To have someone think he was special just the way he was.

She doesn’t know everything, you stupid git. Would she still look at you the same if she knew?

Hardly anyone knew. He had trusted very few with the truth to his past. He closed his eyes, trying to get his thoughts together when he heard Buffy sigh.

“Forget it,” Buffy said, returning to merely playing with her ice cream. He covered her hand with his.

“Let me see if I can get this to go,” Spike said, softly. He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand before picking up the bowl and taking it to the counter. It was transferred to a takeout dish without any problems. He added a package of snack bars to the bag before going back to get Buffy.

Neither one of them said anything on the way home. This time she sat next to him on the front seat. Their thighs pressed together. He reached over to take her hand and place it on his leg. She didn’t snatch it back. Instead, her hand slipped between his legs, idly stroking until he was ready to scream in need.

He practically dragged her at a run from the car to the apartment. She laughed at him when he dropped the keys while trying to unlock the door. He knew he was acting like he was a horny teenager about to be laid for the first time. She excited him like no one else had in a very long time. After he managed to get the door open, he threw the snack bars into the freezer before heading to the bedroom.

“Spike,” Buffy said from the doorway.

He froze. It was over. Something had spooked her. Maybe he had acted too eager and scared her. He set the melting sundae on the nightstand, resigning himself to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen. He turned to her to catch her grinning at him. It lit up her entire being and he relaxed. She walked toward him slowly while undoing her braid. She shook her hair out then reached for the hem of her shirt.

“Oh, Luv,” Spike said, when the garment hit the floor. “You sure do know how to tease me.”

“Not wanting to tease you,” Buffy said, undoing her jeans. “I just want you.”

“I want you too.”

She stopped in front of him dressed only in her bra and panties. He reached for her to close the gap of a few inches between them. Her arms twined around him, holding him against her. Her mouth was waiting for his kiss. She needed no prodding to open her mouth. Her tongue darted into his mouth, making him groan with the need she had for him. It was overwhelming to think that only a week ago he had no clue that this girl would be changing his life again.

Spike picked her up and laid her gently on the bed. She sighed from the loss of contact when he reached for the bowl of ice cream. He smiled as her eyes opened wide at him holding a spoon of melting mixture over her belly. She didn’t protest so he didn’t stop. He drizzled it across the soft plane of her stomach. Being sillier and feeling more romantic than he had in forever, he drew a heart before putting down his tools. A smile was his present as she realized what he had done. Her fingers threaded through his hair when he bent down to lick it off.

“It tickles,” Buffy giggled.

“You taste…,” Spike stopped, unsure of what he could say and not say.

Their eyes met then she pushed at him. “On your back, mister,” Buffy ordered, coming over to straddle him. She reached for the ice cream, flashed him a wicked smile then proceeded to make her own designs on his chest and stomach. He flinched from the cold but didn’t want to protest. He didn’t want her to stop.

“I like it when you talk to me…when we’re like this,” Buffy said, licking fudge syrup off his nipple. “I just don’t like…certain words.” She followed a track down his stomach. “It just makes me remember things I don’t want to.” Her tongue cleaned out his belly button before she glanced up at him. “But feel free to talk all you want.”

“Yeah? You want me to talk to you?” Spike teased, flipping them again.

“Hey, I wasn’t finished,” Buffy protested.

He rubbed himself over her so that the ice cream was smeared over them both. He flicked open her bra, setting her breasts free. With his finger he trailed ice cream over them, paying particular attention to her nipples.

“I’m just getting started,” Spike said, kissing the tip of one pebbled nipple. “You are so beautiful.” He looked up. “You, not the nipple, but, of course, it’s beautiful, too.”

Buffy giggled again. Her smile was one of pure happiness and he swore he never wanted to break her heart. No matter what it cost him.

“I love the softness of your belly,” Spike whispered. His hand ran reverently over it. “You are all woman.” My woman. “You make me feel like a man.”

“You are,” Buffy whispered. Her fingers caressed his shoulders and the nape of his neck.

“I thought I was your hero…your angel with wings.”

“Come here,” Buffy said, pulling on his arm until he covered her. Her legs drew up on either side of him. “You are my hero, my angel…”

Please don’t say it…yet. I’m not ready.

“My best friend,” Buffy finished without saying what he feared. “No one has ever taken care of me the way you do or has made me feel so safe. With you here, I feel like I can do anything.”

“You can,” Spike said. “With or without me.”

A shadow passed over her eyes as she remembered the rules. There were only a couple of days left to find out the truth then it would be time for her to leave. He wanted to kick himself for saying it. For hurting her but he wasn’t ready to make promises he didn’t know if he could keep. So, it was the only thing he could do.

“I remember, Spike,” Buffy said. “You don’t need to remind me.”

“Buffy, I…”

“Shush, we’re still together and I want to make the most of every moment.”

She drew his head down for a kiss and he became lost in her again. Her hands touching him trying to learn what pleased him. Kisses that became more passionate with each one. And her body losing control as he played it with questing hands. The sounds she made, the panting of her breath, all of it led to one thing. There wasn’t a part of him that wasn’t involved in this act. Never before had anyone taken so much from him. Rational thought was an impossibility because he was drowning in this girl. His need for her encompassed everything he was.

Needing more, he moved them so he was leaning against the headboard and she was straddling him. Her hands propped on his shoulders, she sank down onto his length. Her tiny gasp as she took him all in was lost in his kiss. He kept his hands on her hips as she started to move. It was slow and sweet just like she was. Their eyes locked until they couldn’t take it anymore. Buffy threw her head back as her orgasm rocked her body then buried her face against his neck while she rode him to his. Afterwards he slid them down onto the bed, tucking her body in next to his before pulling the covers over them.

“Sleep for a while,” Spike whispered when she murmured there were things to do. “Later, it will still be there. I want to hold you for a little longer.”

~~~~~~~~

Spike woke with her still tucked beside him. She was awake. He could tell in the persistent pattern she was drawing on his arm with her fingertips.

“What are you thinking about?” Spike asked, kissing her shoulder.

“Just stuff,” Buffy said, tilting her head to peer back at him. He kissed the corner of her mouth.

“What kind of stuff?”

She turned onto her back and cupped his cheek. Whatever was on her mind was worrying her. He could see it reflected in her eyes.

“We need to get up,” Buffy whispered, drawing a finger across his lips. “We’re supposed to be at Cordelia’s in a little while.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Spike asked, propping himself up on his elbow.

“No, you haven’t done anything. I was just thinking of what I needed to do to get ready to go to Seattle.”

It felt like a punch to the gut. They had discussed her leaving. She had told him that she wanted to go to college but he had thought it was all talk. That maybe she would return home and they would have time to sort things out.

“What’s in Seattle, Luv?” He asked, half-laughing just because it seemed surreal that they were having this conversation.

“The University of Seattle, Spike,” Buffy said. “I was accepted to start in the fall. It’s one of the top ten universities in the west.”

“You’re going to go now?” Spike asked. There was still months before the fall term would be starting.

“I need to start making a life,” Buffy said. “I can go and get settled. Maybe work part-time.” She laughed. “Figure out how to get out the front door.”

“It sounds like you’ve got this all thought out.”

“I have to,” Buffy said quietly. “I can’t go home and I can’t stay here. Where else is there for me to go?”

With that she pulled away from him and got out of bed. He watched as she made her way to the bathroom and with a last shy smile closed the door behind her. It was his fault. He wiped at his face and flopped on his back. All he had to do was ask and he knew she would stay. But what was best for her? And did he really want to be in another long term relationship?

He couldn’t just live with Buffy. She was the kind of girl that deserved the commitment, the ring and the wedding. Hell, she deserved the happily ever after ending and he just didn’t know if he was the man for it.

So, what did he do now? There was only two days left in their agreement. It seemed she was ready to start leaving him. And he knew she would. She was right. After having lost four years, she needed to start building a life.

It was all too much. There was too much to think about. And he wasn’t ready. He stood to make his way to the bathroom. He smiled as he turned the handle and found the door unlocked. Her walls were coming down. He pulled the shower curtain open.

“Took you long enough,” Buffy said, stepping back.


to be continued…





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