Chapter 20





The bathtub was overflowing with white, fluffy bubbles that sent the sweet scent of flowers drifting into the air around them. There were towels already placed on the floor to catch the waves of water that were caused by them moving around. The tub was really too small for two, but it was what Buffy had wanted. The hot water soothed them as they relaxed. She was lying back against his chest, swishing the bubbles around gently with her hand. Her silence had returned in the last hour. Her only words were to invite him to join her.

He was waiting patiently for her to form the questions that she would need answering. His first responses to her nightmare had been all emotional ones, caused by his sympathetic pain for her and then his fear of losing her. Since then reason had returned to him, aided by phone conversations with Cordelia and with Lindsey, a friend and a lawyer, who had agreed to help them. None of them thought that a case could be built against Buffy, but they were going to go in as if there were. It would be foolish not to be prepared.

In two hours they were going to meet for breakfast to discuss everything before they met with the Captain and Kate. Lindsey wanted to hear it from Buffy herself and mentally start preparing a defense just in case.

“Do you trust Lindsey?” Buffy asked. She was still facing the other way, only now she was still. Her body tense as she waited for an answer.

“Yes,” Spike said, stroking her arm with the merest touch of his fingertips. “He went to high school with Angel. They’ve been on again and off again friends and rivals. But he’s one of the best damn defense attorneys in this state. So, to help you, yes, I trust him.”

She nodded as if that settled the matter. It awed him how much faith she put in him. Just his word and she accepted it without question. Her entire future could be settled in a couple of hours and she trusted him to handle it for her. He leaned forward to kiss the nape of her neck. She sighed and laid her head back against his shoulder.

“I love you,” Buffy whispered.

“I love you, too, pet.”

He wrapped his arms around her as he waited again. There would be more questions when she was ready. He wasn’t concerned. Whatever she was worried about could be resolved with the love between them. They had both faced hell already. So, this was just a small mountain to scale.

“Do you think any less of me?”

“Never,” Spike emphatically answered. “I still think you are the bravest, most beautiful woman I have ever known.”

“Just not so innocent anymore,” Buffy whispered, as her eyes closed and a shudder ran through her body.

“Well, not so much after spending the last few nights with me,” he teased, cupping her breast to squeeze it gently.

She smiled, turning to face him. He kissed her, loving the way she opened up to him. They were becoming so close to one another. He was beginning to wonder if they were one creature that was finally given the chance to reunite. It was fanciful thinking so he pushed it away. The future wasn’t decided yet. It couldn’t be until this matter with Faith was finally put to rest. The day after tomorrow he had to return to work. Life had to resume. He just didn’t know what it would do to them.

“Do you like anal sex?” Buffy asked, breaking through his reverie.

This was the question she had been trying to ask all along. He was relieved it was out in the open because he could put her mind at rest.

“I’ve only done it with Drusilla,” Spike answered honestly. It was the only thing that could be accepted between them. “And yes, I enjoyed it. It’s a different feeling than vaginal intercourse, tighter and there’s a certain thrill in doing something that is in a lot of ways considered taboo.” She stiffened in his arms but he only held her tighter. “But sex is only good if both partners are enjoying the act between them. I would never ask you or anyone else to do something that they didn’t want. I wouldn’t enjoy it unless they were.”

She sighed, long and sweet, before turning to him. He helped her switch positions so that she was straddling him. A lot of the water ended up on the floor, but he didn’t care. Not when she was looking at him like that. Not when her wet, slick body was pressed to his. Nothing mattered as he cupped her bottom, pulling her closer. She rubbed her nose against his, her cheek against his, before finally relieving his anguished need. There was no gentleness in this kiss, only the raw hunger they needed to erase the past for both of them.

They stared deep into each other’s eyes when she sank down onto him, taking him deep within her body with one fluid movement. This was the first time since she had faced her monster that they had made love. Spike knew that in the ferociousness of her movements, Buffy was taking back her own body, her own pleasure and her life in this one act. Before she had approached their lovemaking with an almost timidity, fear still lurking beneath the surface, that somehow she was wrong for enjoying it. Not this time. This time she was taking all the pleasure she could gain. Her mouth was as busy as her hips, biting, licking and kissing him. Spike could only hold onto her, taking as she gave, and he loved her all the more for it.

When he felt his body tense, he pulled her upwards. “I’m going to come, baby,” he whispered, hating the feeling of not coming inside of her. But she still held him, his face buried against her breast, as his orgasm rode through him. He also knew she hadn’t come yet. He wouldn’t let this moment go without letting her have it all.

Somehow he stood, taking her with him. She leaned against him as he dried her off then he swung her up into his arms, carrying her into the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed. Planting kisses along her still flushed body, he moved downwards until he was between her legs. She sighed at the touch of his tongue against the sweetness of her pussy. Her hand tangled in his hair when he sucked on her clit. He teased and licked at her, enjoying the soft, mewling sounds she made as he pleasured her. Her body tensed as she arched upwards and he held her hips as she came, lapping up all that she offered.

“Come here,” Buffy called, holding her hands out to him.

He took them. “I love you,” he murmured as he pulled her into his arms. “For always and always and always.”

“Good,” Buffy whispered, as she held him. “Because I need you.”

~~~~~~~~

Buffy felt like she was a VIP or something. Cordelia was to her left while Spike was on the right holding her hand, and Lindsey was in front of her as they rode the elevator to the fourth floor. She bit her lip to keep from smiling. It was the wrong time to smile. In a lot of ways she didn’t want to smile. It had to be nerves. They were sending electrical charges through her body. In just a little while they could be putting handcuffs on her, in spite of what those surrounding her said.

Suddenly tears were filling her eyes and she bent her head as she tried to blink them back. Spike’s arm was immediately around her while Cordelia grabbed her hand. It was only due to them that she had gotten through this morning thus far. To tell her story to a total stranger, a male stranger, an attractive stranger had taken everything she had. If Spike hadn’t trusted him, she could never have done it. But once it was over, she felt the same way. Lindsey had been nothing but professional with her. Asking questions, prodding for details when she faltered, taking notes without ever judging her or even changing expressions had made her relax.

Now, it was time to tell it to Captain Roberts and Kate. It would be a formal confession with a statement for her to sign. The information would be given to the District Attorney’s office for them to decide on prosecution or not. Buffy had been told not to worry. That there was little chance that it would happen. And if by slim chance it did, Lindsey said no jury in their right mind would convict her. He had actually smiled and patted her hand which she had barely tolerated. After he was finished, she had removed her hand and any chance for it to happen again. Since then he hadn’t touched her and she clung to Spike. He was her fortress in all of this.

Almost the entire department looked up as they made their way toward the Captain’s office. They had been there enough that most of them knew who Buffy was, but not enough to say anything to her. She looked over at them quickly, then turned away, too shy to say hello or even acknowledge them. There was something she did wonder about though and she looked up at Spike.

“Who is your partner?” Buffy asked.

“My partner?” Spike responded. His brows met in a perplexed expression as he gazed down at her.

“Yeah, don’t you have one? You’ve never introduced us.”

Spike smiled, shaking his head before lifting it to look out over the room. “He’s over there, Lorne Green.” The detective was on the phone and waved at them. Buffy waved back. “Do you feel better now?” Spike asked.

“I’m sorry. I was curious.”

“It makes me feel good that you would care,” Spike said, kissing her cheek. “Come on.” He tugged on her hand pulling her the last few feet to the Captain’s office. Kate was sitting on the bench outside of it, writing notes in a file. She looked up at them and smiled.

“Hi there,” Kate said, standing. “You brought the whole entourage.”

“Now, now,” Lindsey admonished. “No making my client feel uncomfortable for bringing her lawyer along.”

“You’re representing her,” Kate said, pointing to Buffy. “What’s going on that you would need a lawyer?”

“Sorry,” Captain Roberts interrupted them as he stepped out of his office. “Kate, I was going to brief you on the call I had from Spike earlier, but didn’t get the chance. Miss Summers has some new information on the case and Spike felt that having Lindsey here was in her best interest.”

“Oh, okay,” Kate said, but her tone indicated that she thought it was ridiculous. Buffy just hoped that Kate would still be on her side when this was over. “All right, let’s take this to the interrogation room. Spike, Cordelia, you can wait here until we’re done.”

Buffy grabbed Spike’s arm. She hadn’t realized that he wouldn’t be with her during the whole ordeal. “No, please stay with me,” she begged, not caring how the others saw her. Panic was setting in. She needed him.

“Breath, Buffy,” Spike said, in his calming voice. “Look at me and breath.”

She did. Her eyes stared deep into his blue eyes letting the love and faith there fill her just as surely as the oxygen she was breathing in. “Why?” Was all she could manage to ask.

“Lindsey is going to take care of you for me,” Spike said. “I can’t go in there because I’m no longer officially on the case and it’s a conflict of interest. Okay? I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

“Come on, Buffy,” Lindsey said. “It’s going to be okay, just like we talked about earlier.”

With a last fearful look at Spike, Buffy turned and started to follow Kate into the room. At the threshold to the room she ran back to Spike, pulling her own jacket off.

“May I have yours?” Buffy asked, staring at the floor and holding hers out to him. She was afraid that he would laugh at her but he didn’t. He helped her slip into his leather jacket then hugged and kissed her one more time. Feeling as if his arms were around her, Buffy stepped into the room. She and Lindsey sat at one end of the table while the Captain and Kate sat at the other.

A tape recorder was placed between them and switched on. Kate read the official information regarding the case then turned to Captain Roberts to proceed.

“Miss Summers,” Captain Roberts directed. “Please state your name for the record.”

“Buffy Anne Summers.”

“Is this statement you are about to give a voluntary move on your part.”

“Yes,” Buffy said, after Lindsey nodded to her.

“Please proceed.”

Terrified, Buffy closed her eyes and pulled the jacket tight around her. Haltingly, she told the story for the third time.

~~~~~~~

The door closed cutting Buffy from Spike’s view. His last glimpse was of her sitting next to Lindsey. He only prayed that Lindsey would protect her since he couldn’t be there. This was something he had never understood before. A suspect cut off from family and friends, alone except for a stranger to defend them. He shivered as he thought of how frightened she must be.

“She’ll be all right,” Cordelia said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Buffy is a lot stronger than she appears.”

For a moment his eyes closed as he took a deep breath. That was something else that he was worried about. He turned to Cordelia.

“I’m not helping that, am I?” Spike asked.

“Help what?” Cordelia asked. She appeared perplexed by his question. When he didn’t answer right away, she tugged on his arm. “Come on, let’s go sit down and talk.”

Now that he had brought it up, there would be now way that Cordelia would allow it to rest. She would want to dissect his every thought. Resigning himself to the soul baring that was coming, he sat next to her on the bench. He didn’t say anything right away. This was something that had been preying on his mind since they had declared their love for each other. Although they hadn’t spoken of it, he knew Buffy wanted to stay with him. He just wasn’t sure if it was the best thing for her.

“I’m afraid that Buffy is counting on me too much,” Spike said. “You know to always be backing her up and protecting her.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Cordelia softly asked. She rubbed his back then put her arm around his shoulders.

“She’s never been on her own,” Spike said. “When she first got here, she was so determined to be independent and now it’s all about us.”

“She loves you.”

“I love her too,” Spike reverently whispered. “I believe in her and I know she is strong, but I’m afraid she’s forgetting it. And years from now, I don’t want her telling me that she never got the chance to be on her own, so she’s leaving.”

“So, you want to send her away so you might not get hurt in the future?”

Spike chuckled. He couldn’t help it. It did sound like that, and in many ways it was true. No matter how hard he tried, everyone else had left him, why not Buffy, too? And plus he honestly wanted what was best for her. He just wasn’t sure what it was.

“If a client came to you,” Spike asked, turning to look Cordelia in the eye. “And told a story similar to Buffy’s including a guy like me. Would you advise her to stay with him or go on her own?”

Cordelia looked away. “Spike, I…this is so hard, you know,” she gave him a sad smile as she turned back. “I want the two of you to be happy. And you are together. It’s cute when you give those couple looks to each other. But you’re right. I would advise the woman to spend some time on her own. To make sure of what she wanted and that she wasn’t just looking for a secure place to be and someone to take care of her.”

All he could do was nod as he buried his face in his hands. His heart burned at the thought of Buffy not being with him, but he loved her enough to let her go.

~~~~~~~~

There wasn’t a flicker on either of their faces to indicate how they felt about her confession. Buffy was exhausted as she leaned back in her chair. It was over. She had told everything that her dreams had revealed to her. Captain Roberts reached over to turn off the tape recorder then handed the tape to Kate to have it transcribed. It wasn’t until the door closed behind Kate that the Captain turned to her.

“I have a couple of questions if you don’t mind,” Captain Roberts said, leaning forward on the table. The smile he directed her way was gentle.

Buffy’s mouth was dry so she only nodded.

“You said that Faith’s underwear was torn off before the rape occurred. Do you know if they had sex before they got to the building?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy answered. “I don’t remember any mention of it. But I know he had to have taken them with him because I never saw them again.”

Captain Roberts nodded and made a few notes on a pad of paper. “Did Peterson ever give any indication of where he might have taken the…Faith?”

Buffy shook her head even as she searched for some indication. “The only thing was when I saw him in prison. I asked him and he said that she loved big houses. That she was probably there now.”

“Okay,” Captain Roberts said. “We just have to wait until your statement is ready to sign and then we’ll have to start trying to figure out where he might have hidden her.”

“Are you going to…arrest me?” Buffy asked softly. Her voice trembled under the fear that was coursing through her.

Captain Roberts stood and came toward her. She leaned back in her chair, terrified that he was going to handcuff her, but he surprised her by sitting in the chair next to her.

“Buffy, your statement will be turned over to the DA for that decision, but as a law enforcement officer of over twenty years, I can’t see any reason to arrest you, much less anyone trying to prosecute. There is no body, no evidence, only repressed memories at this point.”

“What about after…when we find her?”

“I still don’t think that there is a chance in hell they would bring charges,” Roberts said. “From the condition you were in when you were found, I can’t see you really being able to do any damage to a physically fit female of the same age. I think Peterson had you hold the chains as a way of bringing you further into his fantasy. I wouldn’t worry about being prosecuted. Okay?”

Lindsey leaned forward. “There is still a chance that the DA might have a difference of opinion though?”

“Of course,” Roberts said. “There is always that chance, but I doubt it and would fight them on it. Plus they would be crazy to take her to trial. Show them what was done to her and anyone in their right mind would have to acquit her.”

“But yet there is still a chance?” Lindsey persisted.

Roberts sighed. “Yes, there is always a chance.”

Buffy felt her hopes slowly vanishing under the volley of words between the two men. All she wanted was to be with Spike and she suddenly wondered if she would ever get that chance.


to be continued….





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