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Chapter 7




Spike refused to rub his wrists where the handcuffs had dug into him. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of enjoying his humiliation any more than he had to. Slumping down into the chair in front of his Captain’s desk, he kept his eyes steadfast on the nameplate.

Besides him and Captain Roberts, Kate and Dan were also in the small office. Trying to be inconspicuous he glanced up at his captain before looking away again. Roberts looked angry and sympathetic at the same time. The large man with the salt-and-pepper hair but gentle soul had been a mentor for Spike over the years. And even sometimes a father figure when he felt the young detective needed personal guidance in his life. It was why this stung even more. Spike knew he was a disappointment.

“I’m on your side, Nagle,” Roberts said. “But I do have to take this one by the book.”

“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Spike said finally meeting his Captain’s eyes.

Neither man looked away until Roberts nodded his head.

“Mrs. Summers called me earlier today…,” Roberts laughed roughly as he looked up at the clock that showed it was almost two in the morning. “I guess that was yesterday.” His face turned serious as he met Spike’s gaze again. “She’s going to try and have Buffy declared incompetent. Force her to come home.”

Spike threw his head back as anger burned through him. His eyes closed as he realized what this would do to Buffy. She was teetering so close to the edge trying to deal with everything. It wouldn’t take much to send her back to that place in her head.

“It’s bullshit,” Spike declared looking back at his superior. “Buffy is fully competent and aware of what she is doing. She’s scared to death to be outside or around people but that’s because her damn parents didn’t even try to get her living again. They didn’t even fucking tell her about her baby they had aborted. She hasn’t done anything except make it worse for Buffy. What right does that woman have to try and do this?”

“She’s her mother,” Roberts said quietly. “She has every right to protect her child but legally I don’t think she has a case. She called me hoping that I would help her.”

“How?”

“By telling her that you had coerced her daughter or was taking advantage of her…”

Spike looked away. Unable to stop the shame he felt at having sex with Buffy. Everything positive he felt before it happened had dissipated in the way it turned out. If only she had turned to him, let him try to give her pleasure, or even to comfort her when it was over but she closed the door on him. It still stung his pride. He had failed her.

“You slept with her didn’t you?” Roberts asked angrily. “Damn it, Nagle, are you trying to get thrown off the force?”

“She’s a legal consenting adult,” Spike fired back.

“Barely. A month ago you could have gotten thrown in jail for it and if her mother succeeds then you will probably lose your badge. Was it worth it?”

“I don’t regret letting her into my life or helping her in any way that I can. Someone has to and I won’t turn my back on her.”

Roberts laughed and leaned back in his chair. He played with a pen as he studied Spike for a moment. “Well, at least you’ve got conviction. But, you’ve given me another reason to run this by the book.”

Spike sighed as it became clear why his Captain hadn’t done him the favor. If Mrs. Summers found out that the LA police department had deliberately overlooked a possible assault on her daughter it could cost them all their jobs. He could and would take the risks but couldn’t ask that much of his co-workers and friends.

“Okay, I’ve been arrested, now what?” Spike asked, resigning himself to the fact that this was going to have to play itself out.

“You haven’t been arrested yet,” Kate reminded him softly. “You’ve been brought here for questioning and now we sort through everything for the truth.”

Spike had almost forgotten she was there and he blinked when he looked up at her. Her face showed compassion, giving him a warm feeling. Somebody was on his side.

“Dan, take him to the interrogation room and get a statement from him,” Roberts ordered. “Do you want a lawyer, Nagle?”

Spike shook his head as he stood. He trusted the cops around him and until he felt guilty for something then he would handle this on his own. Dan opened the door to reveal Buffy and Cordelia sitting on a small bench outside the office. Buffy tried to come to him but Cordelia held her back. Her eyes were bright as she watched him be led away.

~~~~~~~

“This isn’t fair,” Buffy said, turning to Kate who was standing in the doorway of the Captain’s office. “He didn’t do anything to me.”

It was tearing her apart to know that she had done this to Spike. The one person in the world that really saw her was being punished for trying to help her. She wrapped her arms around herself as she felt her anxiety level rise. This wasn’t the time to have to deal with her emotions. Closing her eyes she concentrated on Spike. She let her mind envision him holding her, soothing her, and the feel of his lips on hers. She listened to his voice in her head telling her to breathe deeply.

“You okay?” Kate asked, putting her hand on Buffy’s arm to get her attention.

“Don’t touch me,” Buffy snapped, backing away toward Cordelia, who slipped an arm around her shoulders. Buffy felt herself relax. The same trust she gave Spike had been extended to this woman based only on his word that she was safe.

“Sorry,” Kate said, stepping back and raising her hands. “Look we are going to need to get a statement from you on what happened tonight. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said, nodding. “Can Cordelia be there?”

“I’ll be with you,” Cordelia promised with a small squeeze of her shoulder.

A man that Buffy assumed to be Captain Roberts stepped out of his office and motioned Kate inside. With a promise to be right back the woman disappeared into the office.

“Are they going to let Spike go?” Buffy asked.

“Yes, they have to. He didn’t do anything wrong, right?”

Buffy nodded as she sighed. She regretted ever getting out of Spike’s bed. If she hadn’t they would most likely be sleeping in each other’s arm. He wouldn’t be in the predicament he was in now. She wouldn’t know about the baby yet. Her hand instinctively covered her belly as she imagined what it might have been like to be pregnant. What it could be like one day. What if she was carrying Spike’s baby? She shook her head from her fantasies. It wasn’t going to happen. She told herself that she had been pregnant by a man who raped her. It wasn’t something she could wish away. She had to deal with reality.

“You ready?” Kate asked, stepping out of the office. After receiving nods from Buffy and Cordelia, she led them down a short hallway to an interrogation room. She sat on one side of the table and gestured for the other two women to sit across from her.

Buffy took a deep breath, pulling her jacket tighter around her, as she sat down. It felt good to have someone on her side with her. She was afraid that she would say the wrong thing and they wouldn’t let Spike go or they would try to lock her up again. She just wanted the two of them to go home.

“Okay, Buffy,” Kate said, turning on a small tape recorder. “I need you to tell me the events of tonight.”

Trying to stay as calm as possible Buffy recounted everything that happened from reading the medical reports to when the police arrived. When she was done she looked up at Kate expectantly. She was hoping this was all over with and they could leave.

“What is your relationship with William Nagle?” Kate asked, throwing Buffy off with the question.

“I don’t know,” Buffy muttered. “We’re…he’s helping me with some stuff and I’m staying with him at his place.”

“Are the two of you involved sexually?”

“What difference does that make?” Cordelia interrupted. “She’s told you what’s happened. Will’s told you. So why are you making a big deal out of this?”

“Actually we’re trying to help,” Kate said. “This was called in as a domestic disturbance. The terms of the relationship between the two parties are very important if there are any charges filed.”

“He didn’t hurt me,” Buffy said again. She was frustrated because no one was listening to her. “I don’t want him charged with anything.”

“I understand that,” Kate said gently. “I know you don’t know me from jack but it’s only going to help him if we have all the facts.”

Buffy looked at Cordelia who slipped her hand in hers.

“Go ahead, Buffy.”

“Yes,” Buffy said, unable to make eye contact with the officer across the table from her.

“Yes, you’re lovers?”

“Yes, we had sex,” Buffy bit out. “Earlier…before I read the reports.”

“Was it the first time?”

“Yes.”

“Whose idea was it? His or yours?”

“I went to him,” Buffy said, feeling her face flush. It had taken everything she had to take her clothes off and go into Spike’s bedroom. She had been so afraid that he would reject her or laugh at her. Having to share that moment with strangers was mortifying to her.

“Did something happen before that to make you go to him? Was there a conversation about sex or did he suggest it to you?”

Buffy shook her head. “I…I…wanted him. I wanted to be with him.”

“Okay,” Kate said. “I’ve only got one more question. When did you decide that you wanted to have sex with him? Was it part of you coming to Los Angeles or something that happened after you got here?”

“I don’t understand why this is important,” Buffy said, looking from Kate to Cordelia.

“I think I know why,” Cordelia said. “And I know this is hard.” She squeezed Buffy’s hand. “But just answer the last one then we can get Will and go home.”

It was the promise of being able to go home with Spike that got Buffy through the next few minutes. If Cordelia hadn’t said to do it then she wouldn’t have. She kept her eyes closed as she told her secrets.

“I’ve always…felt like a part of me belonged with him,” Buffy whispered. “He saved me. I used to have dreams of running away and he’d protect me forever. When I got here and I saw him again it was more than that. He was gentle…realer than any of my daydreams made him out to be. It scared me in some ways but he wouldn’t let me run away anymore. I knew that he would make it all right. Then last night we went down to the fitness room.” Her mind’s eye took her back to the time and place that she first felt like a real woman. “He was sitting on the bench, all hot and sweaty. I looked at him…at his…,” she blushed unable to continue.

“At his what, Buffy?” Kate prompted.

“Please, don’t make me do this,” Buffy begged as the victim and the woman collided. They were struggling for dominance over her personality and she didn’t want to deal…only hide from the truth.

“I need you to finish,” Kate said.

Buffy’s hand covered her eyes and she squeezed Cordelia’s hand with the other.

“I was staring at him and…I…kept going…looking between his legs, at the bulge, and I knew I wanted to be with him,” Buffy said, rushing through the last of it.

There was silence for a moment then the click of the tape recorder being turned off. Buffy dropped her hand when she heard a snort. Kate and Cordelia were both laughing…at her. Tears filled her eyes as she looked from one woman to the other. It was beyond mortification. There was something wrong with her and she started to stand but Cordelia was still holding onto her hand.

“Oh, honey,” Cordelia said, tugging her back down. “We’re not laughing at you. Not like that.”

“I’m bad, aren’t I?” Buffy asked. The confidence she had after talking to Spike had just dissipated completely.

“No, you’re not bad,” Kate said, shaking her head. “I think that makes you a perfectly normal, healthy woman.”

The tears were gone and Buffy couldn’t help the grin that appeared on her face.

“Come on,” Kate said. “You can wait back out there while this gets typed up and given to the Captain.”

Even knowing the Captain was going to read her words couldn’t dissuade Buffy from feeling good. She was normal. Someone didn’t think it crazy of her to want Spike. It was only when she saw him looking so dejected that the guilt returned. She had done this to him. She had disrupted his life. He didn’t even look up at them as they approached. He just stared down at the ground between his knees. He was sitting in the middle of the bench. She and Cordelia took a seat on either side of him.

“You doing okay?” Cordelia asked Will, running her fingers through his hair before dropping her hand to rub his back.

“Yeah, I’m surviving,” Spike said, leaning against his cousin’s wife.

Buffy couldn’t help the feeling of jealousy that shot through her. She looked away from them to stare at a spot on the floor. It was shaped like a mushroom. She concentrated on it while she tried to take herself away. The soft murmurs next to her though kept bringing her back. Why couldn’t she be comfortable with touching people? Why couldn’t she just accept that it was over and start to be normal again? Why couldn’t she be Buffy again? She had been so fearless before, foolishly thinking that life was going to be endless stream of parties, boyfriends, kisses, competitions and school. Now everything frightened her. He was always there waiting for her; a faceless monster lurking behind every corner just waiting to torment her again.

“Hey there, pet,” Spike said, pulling her against him. He kissed her temple bringing her back to the present. “It’s going to be over with soon.”

She nodded even though she didn’t believe him. Exhaustion screamed at her, emotionally and physically, and her head was aching. But she had to stay together. Knowing it would help her she wrapped her hand around his. He sighed when she did. It made her smile. Maybe it helped him too. Cordelia was still there with her arm around Spike. The three of them linked together as they waited. The jealousy was gone. She had been drawn into their circle.

Her eyes closed and she lost track of time. She drifted in and out of sleep until she heard someone clearing their throat. Sitting up she saw Captain Roberts motioning them into his office. Spike pulled her up when she hesitated. Cordelia gave her a comforting smile and feeling protected she brought her head up. They took chairs in front of the desk with Spike between them again. Kate and the other officer were there standing off to the side.

“Well, you two,” Captain Roberts said, looking from Spike to her then back to Spike. “You’ve both told the same story with very little variation. There’s no reason to hold either of you. So, you’re free to go.”

“Thank god,” Spike muttered, standing. “Cordy, would you take Buffy out for a minute?”

“Yeah, sure,” Cordy said.

“Spike?” Buffy asked, wondering what he couldn’t say in front of her. What secrets were they keeping from her?

“I promise,” Spike said, tilting her head up with his finger. “I’ll tell you everything when we’re out of here.”

It wasn’t easy to walk out of that office but she made a decision to trust him. He hadn’t let her down before. It was time to start letting go.

~~~~~~~

“Captain,” Spike started.

“Look, Nagle,” Roberts interrupted. “I’m going to be honest with you. As a cop and your superior it’s my duty to tell you that you’re walking a very thin line. Yes, Miss Summers is of legal age but she’s young. She’s been a mental patient for years and you were involved in the case that made her that way. Internal Affairs would have a field day with this if her mother finds out and starts pushing.”

“Yes, sir.”

“But as a man, I understand.”

Spike looked up, startled by the admission. His captain was sporting a small smile. Relief flooded him. If Buffy’s mother did try to make trouble for him then she wouldn’t have Captain Roberts help.

“Thank you,” Spike said, holding out his hand. “I appreciate your help.”

“Go on. Take her home,” Roberts said, gesturing toward the door after shaking Spike’s hand. “Keep the investigation part of this as close to proper procedure as possible. Not only for her but for the case if it comes to prosecution. Call me if you find anything.” He held up his hand. “I still don’t believe there’s someone else. But…and a very big but if you find something keep me informed.”

“Yes, sir,” Spike said again before turning away. He smiled at Buffy and Cordelia who were waiting for him. They both looked wiped out but for some reason the adrenaline was rushing through his body. He was ready to fight again, for Buffy, for himself, and for the girl they had yet to find.


to be continued…





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