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Chapter 14: ‘Truth Time’


Summary: Spike confesses the truth to Buffy about the horse race scheme. How will she take it? Buffy tells Dawn the truth about her father, kind of.


A/N: This is the start of the Spuffy angst, but I promise it won’t be too bad.




Spike checked to make sure that Buffy was still awake. She was. He pulled her bare little body closer to his and stroked her hair, then her arms, lovingly.

‘You’re so fragile lookin’ sweet,’ Spike mused as he watched Buffy ‘resting’ next to him. ‘But you’re so bloody strong, inside and out.’

Frankly, he almost wished she was sound asleep then he wouldn’t be so inclined to tell her the truth about Angel’s latest scheme, at least not tonight.

“Buffy,” he whispered, then hesitated briefly. “We need to talk, Princess,” he stammered into the darkness. “About the horse and the Bit; about us and even about Angel, yeah?”

“Okay,” Buffy sighed in reply, trying to mask her weariness. She so did not want to carry on this conversation, especially not tonight, but…..

“About the horse, The Charger, sweetheart,” Spike began attentively, afraid of his Buffy’s reaction. “You know he’s Angel’s property and the great poof can do anything he wants with the horse, right?”

“Yeah,” Buffy drawled as she snuggled closer into Will’s warm body. “What’s this about, William?” She asked in a little girl’s voice. This had to be bad, Buffy could tell, but she wanted to let Will tell it, no matter how bad it might be.

“Tell me,” Buffy ordered quietly (at least for her) when William paused just a bit too long for her taste. “Tell me, Will,” she demanded again, her tiny hands rested on his chiseled cheekbones. She searched his open blue eyes, looking for the truth she knew he would tell her.

Spike slipped out of the bed and strode to the small settee close by. He immediately felt the loss of contact with Buffy’s warm body. His jacket was on it and he pulled out his smokes and lit one, then slowly took a long drag of it.

“Angel,” Spike whispered, unable to look at Buffy who still lay in the bed. “He has a plan, for The Charger,” he stammered, finally staring Buffy straight in the eye.

“A plan?” Buffy asked in a quiet, nervous tone. “What kind of plan?”

“A stupid one,” Spike spat harshly, stubbing out his cigarette into the ashtray on the night table. He flopped back down on the bed and placed his head in his hands. “A bloody ridiculous plan that’ll line his pockets with lots of cash. Angel’s, mine and the others. We’ll all make a fortune from it, Buffy,” Spike rasped, again unable to look her in the eyes.

“I don’t understand, Will,” Buffy murmured as she sat up and placed her hand on his shoulder. “What ‘plan’ has Angel come up with? How is it going to line everyone’s pockets with a fortune and…..” Suddenly, she stopped dead and reached up to pull William’s head around so his he faced her.

“What plan, William?” Buffy asked him again, sternly. “What are you and Angel up to Will?”

“Angel has this scheme, Buffy,” Spike mumbled, “to fix a race, tomorrow actually. He’s put the word out on the street, via me and the boys, that The Charger is a sure thing in the sixth race, to lose this time. Now,” Spike stammered, “The Charger has never been a sure thing, right? The last race, when he won? That had to be a fluke, right?”

“Yes, Buffy whispered with a nod, a sinking feeling in the pit of her tummy.

“Angel’s got it fixed that The Charger’ll lose the race, for sure. Everyone that takes Angel’s advice and our markers will lose their shirts tomorrow, on the race, if they do bet on the Charger.” Spike hung his head in shame at the thought of a fixed race, but after all, it was his job to do what Angel O’Connor said, right?

“But you said that Angel has it fixed that The Charger will lose. What’s going on here, William? What has Angel got to do with this and more importantly, how are you involved?” Buffy glared into her lover’s blue eyes, pleading with him for the whole truth.

“Tomorrow, when our horse loses, then it’ll cause a lot of insecurity on the poor beast,” Spike mumbled. “The Charger is due to race, next week, again, in the fifth race at the track. Next time,” he paused, took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “The next race will be fixed too, Princess,” he continued weakly.

“Only this time? The Charger will be sure to win the race, really sure to win it. Angel is having someone make sure the horse is shot with a speedball, by a professional. After the race, the one that The Charger is sure to win? The poor slob of a horse will drop dead of a heart attack, just minutes later, probably in the winner’s circle.” Spike felt like he was going to be physically ill by this time.

“Angel is going to have The Charger killed?” Buffy gasped, her green eyes wide with horror.

Spike nodded slowly as he reached around and wrapped his arms about her. He pulled her in close to him and whispered, “Angel will bet everything on The Charger. Everyone else will pay on the other main horse. When The Charger crosses the finish line, first? Angel will clean up, just like the rest of us.”

“Oh,” Buffy managed to choke out. “So, this ‘guy’ the one that’s to make sure that this professional shoots The Charger with the speedball? It’s you, isn’t it, Will?”

Buffy’s voice sounded so strange, even to herself and William looked at her as if she’d grown two heads. His blue eyes looked cold to her, suddenly, even if they were tinged with some secret torment.

‘Tell me it’s not you,’ Buffy begged her lover silently. ‘Please, Will, tell it’s not you and I’m wrong and we’ll go on and……’

“Yes,” Spike whispered shamefully, “it’s me.” He finished in a regret tinged voice. “I’m not the one that’s going to shoot the horse, just……”

“Oh, God,” Buffy groaned, miserably as she slipped out of the bed and pulled on a robe. “I don’t believe this,” she moaned again and started for the bedroom door.

“Buffy, Princess, wait,” Spike hissed, making a grab for her arm. He pulled her about to face him, terrified of the hateful expression in her beautiful green eyes.

“I, I didn’t want to go along with this, Buffy, “he stammered defensively. “I never felt that this was the right thing to do and…..”

“But, you’re going along with it, anyway, right?” Buffy spat the question at him like an angry snake. “You,” she hissed at him in disgust, “you and your ‘guys’ right along with Angel? You’ll all make out like bandits with this one, won’t you? All those poor other slobs will bet against The Charger. Win he wins? You’ll all win right along with him. Except, you’ll all be alive, but not The Charger, he’ll…..”

“Look Buffy,” Spike mumbled, “it’s not like Angel isn’t the one thought this up and all. He’s in charge; it’s his fucking horse after all and what he says goes. Don’t throw stones, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath, “you’re livin’ in a bloody glass house here. At least where your precious Angel is concerned!”

“He’s not ‘my’ precious Angel, Will!” Buffy cried in a hurt tone. “I thought when you and I, you know, got back together?” She glanced at her disheveled bed, suddenly ashamed by everything between her and William.

“Yeah,” Spike growled, pulling Buffy closer to his body, “you’re right. We ‘are’ back together and all, so let’s not rock the boat, eh? Angel will be back in town, soon, and you can hand him his walking papers.

In fact,” he continued harshly, “tomorrow, first thing? I want you to waltz down to his bloody club and hand in your resignation. When the great poof gets back to town? I’ll give him my walking papers and we’ll get the fuck out of this rat hole. Big Apple my British arse,” he grumbled, “more like a bloody rotten apple.”

“But, until then?” Buffy looked up at her lover with wide green eyes.

‘My lover,’ she thought sadly as tiny tears began to fill her eyes. She felt her throat closing up and suddenly, it seemed quite stuffy and hot in her living room.

“Until then,” she choked out, “you’ll do your master’s bidding? You’ll let some so called vet kill off The Charger to what? Make some money for Angel and yourself? For those idiots who work for you; even Rupert?”

“Buffy,” Spike sighed heavily, “it’s a little more complicated then that. I owe Angel, but more importantly? I owe the guys; yes, even Rupert Giles. You don’t think he’s on to this whole scheme of Angel’s? Christ, Buffy, Giles is the one that convinced me to go along with it!” Spike tried to cover his self-righteous smirk, but failed miserably.

“I don’t believe you,” Buffy spat angrily. “I’d believe that you’re Satan himself, rather then believe that Giles is one of your unholy minions. How could you, Will?” She pulled away from him and strode into her kitchen, intent on getting a glass of water, anything to distract her from this sudden mess.

Spike lit a cigarette and poured himself a drink from her bar. ‘Angel’s bar,’ he reasoned resentfully. ‘Buffy has the fucking gall to judge me about the horse scheme and yet she lives in a place that the great poof probably rents for her and…..’

“What about Dawn?” Buffy rasped from the kitchen door, a tall glass of water in her tiny hand. “Did you ever stop to think about Dawn and how much she loves that damned horse? God, William,” she whined in a hushed voice, “Dawn loves The Charger and yet, you don’t give a damn about that, do you?”

“I do, Buffy,” Spike whimpered, setting his drink down on the bar and closing the gap between him and her. He reached out to take her in his arms, but Buffy pulled away, cutting him to the core.

“Don’t touch me,” she ordered him in her low, harsh voice. “You don’t have any right to touch me, not anymore,” she added bitterly. “In fact,” Buffy crossed her arms across her chest, “get your clothes on and get the hell out of here. Now, Will!” Buffy snapped off her command, curtly.

“Buffy, don’t do this,” Spike whispered, his voice desperate and strained. “Don’t send me away, not now. Not when we’ve just found each other again. I can fix this, I promise and…..”

“You can’t do a damn thing!” Buffy spat vehemently at him as she pointed at her front door. “Get out,” she hissed again. “Get out of my apartment, Will, now. Or I’ll call a cop and have you thrown out of here. Do you understand?”

“Buffy…..” Spike whispered, horrified when he felt hot tiny tears begin to form in his eyes. What kind of a fucking nancy boy was he, anyway? He was 'not' going to cry over this setback in his and Buffy’s relationship. Especially not in front of her! Christ, he ‘could’ fix this, couldn’t he?

He could make Buffy understand that everything would be fine, someday soon anyway. All’s he had to do was let this stupid plan of Angel’s play out to the end. Then he, Spike, could tell Angel to go fuck himself and walk off with Buffy on his own arm. The Bit could come along too, of course, since that’s what Buffy’s seemed to want and everything would work out in the end. Why couldn’t Buffy see that for God’s sake?

“I’m not leaving,” Spike blurted out stubbornly.

“Get out!” Buffy hissed again. “Get out of my sight, William Jameson. You’re a weak, worthless piece of crap, at least to me and for right now! I don’t want you anywhere near me or Dawn right now. You allowed that poor kid to fall in love with that damned horse and now?”

Buffy pushed William away from her and growled, “Just get out of my sight and maybe, just maybe I’ll ‘think’ things over. I don’t know, right now I’m so enraged at you Will. You and that bastard you work for, so….” She pointed at the door, again and glared at William, even though her chin trembled with sorrow.

“I’ll go,” Spike sighed in defeat, trying not to let Buffy see the terror and tears in his eyes. “But,” he added defiantly as he slipped on his clothes, “this isn’t over, Buffy. You and me? We’ll never be over,” he finished harshly.

Buffy fell onto her couch and placed her head in her hands. For some reason, this betrayal by William seemed to be the deepest cut of all in her twenty-five years. She kept her face, buried into her hands, even when he opened her front door.

“I love you baby. Always will.” William rasped just before he slipped through the door and closed it gently behind him.

“Oh God,” Buffy let her emotions truly take over, allowing her to cry, finally. “Oh God, Will,” she sobbed as if her heart would break even more then it already had.

Buffy was so distraught and weepy, that she didn’t notice Dawn at the guest bedroom door. It was only when the child sat down on the couch, next to her and wrapped her tiny arm about Buffy’s quaking shoulders that the older woman realized she was there.

“Oh, Dawnie, you shouldn’t be awake and up now,” Buffy whimpered as she wiped at her tear-stained face. “It’s so late and….”

“Why are you crying Buffy?” Dawn asked quietly, patting Buffy’s shoulder. “Did you and Mr. Spike have one of your famous rows again?”

Buffy sniffed back another wave of tears and embraced the little girl to her, tightly. “Yeah,” she murmured sadly, “you could say we’ve had a famous row again, Will and me I mean.”

“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Dawn sighed against the blond’s neck. “I guess Mr. Spike is just being a big jerk right now, huh?”

“That he is, Little Doll,” Buffy hiccupped her reply, allowing a few more tears to spill. “It’s just that he kind of kept something from me,” she whispered, still in disbelief. ‘Make that he kept something from both of us,’ she thought to herself, angry again.

“Was it a bad lie, Buffy?” Dawn reared her dark head back and gazed into Buffy’s eyes. “Does it mean that you don’t love Mr. Spike anymore and he won’t come back? Doesn’t he love you anymore?”

The blue-eyed girl looked so unhappy at this prospect that Buffy immediately shook her head, no.

“No, honey, it does not mean he doesn’t love ‘me or you’ anymore,” Buffy tried to smile bravely. “Sometimes guys act like big jerks, even if they love you. And, he does love me and you too, Dawn, you know that, right? I love you too, I do, sweetie, honest.”

Buffy pulled Dawn back into her embrace and kissed the top of her dark head, tenderly.

“I know Buffy,” Dawn murmured, snuggling into Buffy’s warm neck. “I know Mr. Spike and you love me, just like I love you two. But…..”

The tiny child in her arms squirmed a little and pulled away from Buffy, causing her even more distress. “What is it, honey?” Buffy asked the child, carefully, “If it’s about William and me? Don’t worry, honey, we’ll get on without him and…..”

“Oh, it’s not really just about Mr. Spike and you, Buffy,” Dawn sighed. “Besides, he’ll be back for you, you know that silly. He loves you too much to let you go again.” Dawn giggled slightly and grinned at Buffy affectionately.

“I don’t know if I can forgive him this time, honey,” Buffy whimpered like a small child herself. “He’s done something pretty bad this time and I’m not sure if I can forgive him for being such a jerk.” Buffy frowned and shook her blond head, violently.

“God, men are such jerks sometimes,” she hissed, snuggling Dawn closer to her.

“But they love us anyway, right Buffy?” Dawn’s blue eyes were pleading with Buffy to answer her serious question in just the right way.

“Even if they do stupid things and behave like big jerks, sometimes, they still love us, right?” The child asked again, a little less sure this time.

“They do,” Buffy sighed in response, resting Dawn’s head on her shoulder. “They love us no matter how stupid they behave Dawn. In fact…..”

“My daddy,” Dawn suddenly blurted out, “he loves me, even though he’s being a big jerk right now,” she whispered in her childish voice. “Even if he’s never coming back for me, he still loves me. He isn’t, is he Buffy? Ever coming back for me, I mean?” Dawn raised her little head up and gazed in Buffy’s green eyes, questioningly.

“No,” Buffy whispered as she placed another tender little kiss on Dawn’s warm forehead. “You’re daddy isn’t coming back for you, Dawnie. Not because he doesn’t want to, okay,” she added quickly. “It’s because he…..” Buffy paused, unable to tell Dawn the complete truth about her father. At least not yet.

Buffy watched as one lone, silent tear slid down Dawn’s pretty little cheek. She just sat, holding the tiny girl in her arms, trying to protect or at least comfort the poor child with her embrace and silence.

Finally, Dawn spoke, but it wasn’t exactly what Buffy was expecting her to say.

“My daddy loves me, Buffy, whether he’s a big jerk right now or not. He may not be coming back for me, Buffy, and I’m sad about that. Mr. Spike will come back for you, though. I know that because he loves you way too much not to. I just hope you’ll take him back,” she smiled softly up at Buffy. Dawn then lay her head back on Buffy’s shoulder and placed her tiny hand on hers.


A/N: Well, there’s the Spuffy angst I promised. Not too bad, right? The question is, will Buffy forgive and forget this bad move on Spike’s part? (Come on, this is a Spuffy story, right?)

In the meantime, next chapter, Buffy goes back to the club to sing and leaves Dawn in Margaret’s care. That ought to go over real big with Spike, eh? He’ll know what’s going on because he’ll be calling Buffy’s apartment every five minutes to try and talk to her.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please review, spufette.





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