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Chapter Two

Buffy brushed her long golden hair and stared at herself in the mirror, thinking. There was something definitely different about Spike. She noticed it in the way he carried himself and the way he spoke.

He'd grown up.

And, she was sure, had his heart broken. There was something almost
fragile about him. She wondered just how much damage Drusilla had done
and if his coming back home had a lot to do with her. She felt a surge of
protectiveness shoot through her and her green eyes narrowed with evil
intent. No one hurt her big brother and got away with it.

"Knock, knock."

She smiled and spun around in her vanity chair. "Come in, loser."

Spike waltzed in, a hand over his heart. "Oi, pet. That hurt."

She smiled. "What's up?"

He shrugged and looked around her room. "Hey, you have the Boston Red
Sox hat I sent you," he said excitedly and walked across her room to pick
up the navy blue hat with the red ‘B' on the front she had hanging on a hat
rack. Buffy had always been bit of a tomboy and collected various baseball
caps to shove on her head on days when she just didn't feel like being a
‘girly girl'.

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged. "And you finally painted your room blue."

"Think I wanted to live with flowered wallpaper? I think not."

"That's my girl," he grinned and sat down on her bed, facing her. "So, tell
me what's new."

She stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Can I be honest here?" she asked cautiously.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," he told her.

"You kind of suck ass."

He froze. "What do you mean?"

"Despite how happy I am to see you, you suck for not coming to visit once
in a while and for not ever wanting to call and talk to me."

He nodded and scratched the back of his head. "I know."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I do. Truthfully, I didn't expect you to welcome me back with open
arms the way you did."

She cocked her head to the side. "Then why did you pretty much ignore
me all these years?"

"I don't know . . . I was taking a stand. Getting out on my own and not
wanting to need anyone."

"You always need your family, Spike."

He nodded; his eyes sad. "You're right, you do."

"Did you miss us?"

He looked up and met her eyes. "I did. Very much."

She got up from her seat and sat down next to him. She placed a hand on
his back. "Spike, can you tell me what happened with Drusilla?"

"Not much to tell. She was off her rocker and not very faithful."

"Did you love her very much?"

"Buffy, I don't want to really talk about this right now, if that's okay with
you?"

"You talked to mom about it," she said indignantly. "I'm not the same kid
anymore, Spike."

"I know that Buffy, and I didn't mean it that way. I just . . . I left all that
stuff there. I want to keep it there."

"That's the thing about your past. You can't leave it behind for very long.
It has a way of coming back to haunt you. See you downstairs." More than
a little peeved, Buffy stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut
behind her. Guess some things never changed, she thought.


**********************************************************
Buffy poked at her dinner as her family chatted around her. They'd all piled in the car together, and Buffy had barely said two words to Spike the whole way to the restaurant. It was the Giles/Summers welcome home dinner for Spike. Buffy just wasn't in the mood to be celebrating. It wasn't like it mattered to him if she was there or not. To him, she was just his stepsister. There was only three years separating him, but the way he treated her it might as well be ten. She didn't get it. He adored her mother, loved her to bits and depended on her. A large feat for Spike considering how he'd loved his real mum before she died a few years before Giles had met Joyce. So with the closeness he had with Joyce, how was it that Buffy got the short end of the stick?

"Are you going to poke at it all night or eat it?"

Buffy looked up, meeting Spike's eyes. She looked around the table.
"Where'd mom and Giles go?"

Spike pointed to the dance floor in the middle of the room. "Having a
dance."

"Oh." And she went back to poking at her steak.

"Care to dance with me?" he asked hopefully.

She eyed him warily. "You don't have to do that. I know you don't want
to."

He pushed his chair out and stood, holding out his hand. She noted how
handsome he looked – the black on black gone and its place were neatly
pressed dress pants, a light blue button down that matched his eyes, and a
tie. His hair was even slightly slicked back, taming his wild curls.

She looked at his hand and then up at him, not relinquishing her hold on
her fork and making no move to take his hand.

"Buffy, come on. Don't make me look like a jackass standing here with my
hand out like this," he nearly pleaded with her.

She sighed heavily and pushed out her chair, dropping her fork noisily onto
the plate. "Well, you are a jack ass," she said huffily, "So it wouldn't matter
much to me if you looked like one."

"I deserved that," he said as he followed her to the dance floor.

"You're damn right," she replied and turned.

He took her in his arms carefully. "Do you want to lead or shall I?" he tried
teasing.

She gave him a look. "Don't."

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I'm a bad, rude man."

"Yeah, you know what? In some circles that might be a good enough
excuse, but with me it doesn't cut it."

"Can we start over? What can I do to make it up to you?"

"You can start with not treating me as if I'm just . . . there. We used to be
close and then you take off without so much as a backward glance and
barely make any effort to keep in touch with me all these years. You're my
brother, Spike."

"Step brother," he corrected.

She detangled herself from his arms. "What does it matter?"

"Buffy, don't make a scene, please."

"Whatever," she snapped and walked away, leaving him on the dance floor
alone. She headed towards the table where she abruptly told Giles and her
mother that was calling her friend Willow and going there for a while.
Heading towards the bathroom, she stayed in there and called Willow,
staying there until her red headed friend arrived to collect her. On her way
out, she peeked over at the dinner table and found Spike looking forlornly
at his plate. Good, she thought smugly, now he knows what it feels like to
be left and ignored.


*************************************************************

Buffy climbed into her room later that night. She had no intention of staying the night at Willow's, she had just wanted to get away for a while. She wanted to avoid getting reamed out by Giles and Joyce for having left the way she did.

"So, you're still making good use of that tree," a deep voice rumbled in the
dark.

Buffy nearly fell the floor and just barely managed not to scream in fright
as she toppled to the floor. The light flicked on and she looked up to see
Spike standing there with his arms crossed, frowning at her.

"You know I don't like the idea of you walking the streets this late at
night," he told her.

She climbed to her feet, glaring at him. "You can't tell me what to do and
you can't start acting like you care all of a sudden."

"I do care. You do realize you're acting like a spoiled brat, right?"

"Kind of like the way you did when you moved across country and never
invited us to your wedding?"

He pursed his lips together. "What happened to this afternoon when you
were happy to see me?"

"I was happy to see you, but I can only contain my rage at you for so long.
It really hurt getting the shaft all this time, Spike."

"I know. I am sorry, Buffy, you don't know how much. Especially since I
see how you've grown . . . I did miss you, you know."

"You had a funny way of showing it."

"Listen Buffy, I can't change anything right now. It is what it is. I did what
I did and I can't change it. The only thing I can do now is make it up to you.
Will you let me try? Will you let me in your life?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"Will you let me in yours?"

"Yes, Buffy, I can do that."

"So you will tell me about Drusilla?"

"I'll try. That's all I can promise right now."

She stared at him for a minute and then flung herself in his arms, hugging
him tight. "I missed you, you stupid jerk."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her just as tight, if not tighter.
"I know it didn't seem like it Buffy, but God, I missed you too."

There was something so real, so honest and so raw in that confession that
Buffy had no choice but to believe him.





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