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Chapter 17


Buffy took a deep breath to steady her racing nerves before stepping out of the stairwell and onto the roof. She could see Spike sitting on the edge, a lit cigarette in his hand. Thankfully, he didn't look angry, or even sad, just pensive. It probably wasn't even her that had driven him here. At least she hoped. She didn't want to be the cause of any more problems for him.

"Hello," Buffy said, when he didn't acknowledge her presence. He seemed deep in thought as he looked out over the city streets below them. A warm wind blew softly around them as she approached the edge.

"We haven't spent this much time together in a long time," Spike commented, turning to meet her gaze.

"No, we haven't," Buffy stopped a few feet away from him, unsure how he felt about being in her company. She crossed her arms, holding herself, and wishing it was him. "I'm just sorry that it took trouble to get us to talk again."

"Sit," Spike gestured to the ledge next to him.

She did, but not before peeking over the edge to see how far down it was to the street. It was a two-story building, so it wasn't too bad. Not that she wanted to fall no matter what the height. Dying wasn't in any of her plans for the near future, neither was a long hospital stay.

"Why did you come up here?" Buffy asked, deciding to be bold. She'd come this far, no backing down now. She loved him. They may have a future and maybe they didn't, but no longer would she deny how important he was to her, nor would she cower like a scared child. He needed to see that she was a woman who could manage in the world without a protector.

Spike shrugged. "Needed some air and a smoke."

"Oh," she paused. He hadn't given her much to continue the conversation. She could make it work though. "Do you feel better?"

"Yeah." Spike ran the back of his hand down her hair. "I do and even if I didn't say so before, I like the new coiffed brunette Buffy. You keep changing on me. Scares the crap out of me sometimes."

"Is that why you left?"

"Yeah, your new look knocked my socks off."

"Thank you," Buffy said, as her face flushed with embarrassment. It always came down to Spike's opinion. She knew it wasn't a good thing to have all her confidence come from someone else, but she wasn't ready to look in the mirror and be that girl she was at fourteen. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the arrogance she held at her good looks was forever linked in being picked as Peterson's victim.

"Don't," Spike whispered, cupping her face. "Believe in yourself, Luv. It wasn't your fault."

"I know," Buffy said, comforted by the fact that Spike did still know her. "I get scared that if I try too hard to be pretty that it will get me into trouble again."

"You don't have to try to be pretty. You're beautiful even when you don't try. I find you in baggy clothes and steel-toed boots to be damn sexy."

Laughing, she pulled away from his touch. "Yeah, thanks. I'll remember that if I ever want to turn you on."

"You don't have to try hard, pet. You never did. I'm always ready."

"Don't forget your fiancée."

"Trying not to do that." Spike rolled his head as he gave a loud exhale of frustration. "It's all a bloody mess, isn't it?"

Smiling, she joked, "not yet, but it might be if Fred finds out what you said." She paused as the seriousness of the situation came crashing back. "Or what we've done." She looked away from Spike so she was facing out over the nearby buildings. It was confession time. No longer could she hide. They needed to be truthful if they were going to ever have any relationship in the future. "The girls made us a pallet in a private space so that we could be together tonight. Everyone says I should just take back what is mine, but you're not mine."

"No, I'm not, am I? I promised to marry another and poor Fred said yes and wears my ring."

"Poor Fred?"

Spike sighed. "I overreacted to a situation that I never should have reacted to at all. I’m sorry, Buffy, for not asking you to explain. For ever doubting your morals." He took her hand, squeezing it gently. "For hurting you, for being so angry with you when there wasn't any reason to be, and when all of this is over, we are going to sit down and have a long talk. Okay?"

It wasn't much. He hadn't even explained his remark about 'poor Fred'. He hadn't said that he was still in love with her. Yet, somehow, in his apology, he'd given her more hope than she'd held for them in what seemed a forever of loneliness. All she could do was nod.

"This pallet thing you mentioned," Spike said, with a grin after a minute. "It might not be a bad idea."

Buffy started. "What? Huh?"

"I don't like the way Rico looks at you. It would probably be a good idea for you not to sleep alone. Not that I think he would be too stupid with me and Gunn here, but I would prefer not to take any chances." He shrugged. "Unless you prefer Gunn."

"Thank you," Buffy said. "I'd be more comfortable with you. I'll be glad when we're away from that creep. He makes me nervous."

"Yeah, me too. Tomorrow morning, I'll press for information on Manuel and then we'll get the hell out of here, okay?"

Buffy nodded. She hated all this sitting around. It was too confining. She would much rather be trying to figure out who the bad guys were so she could go back to her life. Not that her former life would be waiting. It never did. She wondered how most people adjusted to the changes in their life. Or did they experience the knife cutting suddenness of endings like she seemed to experience. Maybe this time would be the last time. If only. She crossed her fingers and sent out a silent prayer for a happy ending.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was still sleeping. He didn't want to wake her up yet. She was tired. Not only physically but emotionally from everything they'd gone through since Cassie had found them. Last night she clung to him in her sleep, and he held her as tight as he could. Tried to give her the security she needed to rest without worry. It was the least he could do. Easing away, he tried not to disturb her too much, but she only rolled over and continued to sleep.

It was time to press Rico for information. Things were stalemated long enough. He had no idea how the others were doing, if everyone was safe, and if the DEA was any closer to arresting Luke and his superiors. He was going to find out what he could, and then get in touch with his captain. It was time to close things up so they could go back to their lives. He was ready to make changes, to take the steps necessary to bring Buffy back into his life, and hopefully as more than just friends.

Spike walked out into the main area. Rico was sitting at the table where they'd played poker, with Gunn sitting across from him. Both were eating some fast food for breakfast. When Gunn saw him, he held the bag up.

"Couple more sandwiches in here," Gunn said. "Help yourself."

"Guess coffee is too much to ask for?" Spike asked, taking a seat between the other two men. He dived into the bag to grab a sandwich, not even really caring what was on it. It had been a long time since the pizza last night. "Thanks," he said, unwrapping the biscuit and took a huge bite.

"Stupid question," Rico said, watching Spike. "We ain't no damn office with some secretary taking care of you."

"Sorry, wasn't trying to insult anyone. Just slow to waking up."

Rico shrugged, taking a swig out of a soda can. "There's some soda over there." He pointed to some crates stacked in the corner. On top were resting some cases of various store brand sodas.

"Thanks," Spike said, going to grab one. He didn't want to insult Rico by telling him that he rarely drank soda, and especially not in the morning. It would do. At least it had some form of caffeine to rev his sluggish body. One of the pitfalls of getting older, he told himself returning to the table. "It seems to be a good time to talk. Not a lot going on at the moment."

"I don't want to tell you nothin'. You're a pig. I don't trust pigs."

"Feeling is mutual," Spike returned. "But Gunn says you can help us out here, so I'm willing to be in your company." He was trying to be nice when he really wanted to teach Rico a few lessons. Especially about the way he treated the women around him.

"Hey, I don't have to tell you anything. You can just drive on out of here. Fine with me."

"Whoa guys," Gunn interrupted. "This isn't going to help anyone out. Especially Manuel. Remember him, Rico? He was your brother at one time."

"Yeah, until the greed got a hold of him."

"Well, then let Spike here help him out."

"You just want to make that hot piece of ass of his happy," Rico retorted.

Clenching his fist, Spike refused to say anything. Slugging the punk was too easy, and exactly what Rico wanted. He wasn't going to go there. Not with so much at stake. He was just grateful Buffy was still sleeping.

"Hey, her name is Buffy," Gunn said. "No matter how you feel about Spike here, doesn't mean you have to disrespect me."

"Whatever," Rico said, rolling his eyes. "I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Tell me what I need to know, and I can get out of here," Spike said, with as much calm as he could muster. "How did Manuel go from being a part of this," he waved his hand to indicate the entire gang. "To being a drug dealer."

"He wasn't a dealer," Rico said. "He was a dope boy for the big guy, and it was for the benjamins. Manuel got tired of the living here in the hood with not much hope. He wanted more and he wanted it now."

"Do you know who he was distributing for?" Spike asked.

"About a year ago a man came rolling through here in his expensive wheels. Most of us ignored him. He smelled like trouble from a mile away. 'Sides there's enough places to get your dope round here without going to someone outside the neighborhood. Manuel got stupid. Started selling hard-core shit. Real fine dope. Hell of a lot purer than the crap cut here," Rico sat back, rubbing his hands together. "It started a street war and too many brothers died in the crossfire."

"Shit," Gunn interrupted. "Why didn't you call me?"

"And what the fuck would you have done? Come back so you could get shot too? Damn it, man, you got out so stay out. You know. Gives hope to a few of us around here."

"Why do you do it?" Spike asked. "You obviously have better sense. So, why get involved?"

"I don't do hardcore, dawg. That shit will fuck you up for life," Rico said, leaning back on the table. "You got any cigarettes?"

"Yeah," Spike reached into his coat to grab his pack. He handed it over and then took one for himself. "What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life?"

"Plan on getting out of here," Rico said. "My brother is in prison. Doing hard time all for drugs and over territory that people keeps claiming but nobody really owns. Ain't worth it to me."

Spike just nodded so as not to seem patronizing the other man. A streak of respect went through him for this group of kids who were fighting to make a life out of nothing. He swore when this was over he would find a way to help them out without putting them down. Maybe Gunn could help him figure that out.

"Did you ever find out who was bringing the new drugs in?" Spike finally asked.

"Yeah, there's some guy who owns a shipping line. Brings it in with the other legit goods so he looks like a stellar member of society. Masters or something is his name, but Manuel was answering to someone name Luke who is one of the henchmen for the big guy."

"Bloody hell," Spike mumbled. Rico was right about Masters being a model citizen. He was richer than god, with public ties to a lot of charities. It was going to be near to impossible to bring this guy down. The DEA could leave them in protective custody for years trying to get all the loose ends tied up. "We're in major trouble."

"You know about this dude?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. Too public and he's probably got people on his payroll in every branch of law enforcement."

"Well, I guess we know how they found us," Buffy said, walking across the room toward them. She pushed her hair away from her face as she took the last available seat at the table. "This doesn't look good for the others, does it?"

"Maybe not," Spike said, pushing the bag with the last biscuit toward her. "But not necessarily. I know my Captain is a good guy. We just need to let him know."

"You going to call him?" Gunn asked. "Let him know."

"I'd be careful throwing the FYI around," Rico said. "Manuel tried to use it to cut Luke out of the way. They killed him without asking any questions. They're not going to fuck around. If your friends are with the wrong people, they may as well be dead."

"Then I guess it's up to us," Buffy said. She took a bite of the sandwich, looking too innocent as she returned Spike's stare. Already plans were being formed in her head. He could see it in her eyes. Obviously she had been listening for awhile and heard too much for his comfort. "We'll find a way," she said to make her point.

Spike was going to have to walk through hell to keep her safe. He just hoped they both survived.

to be continued...





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