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Chapter 3

After getting her undressed and into bed, Spike lay on top of the bedclothes still dressed thinking…he wasn’t going to phone Giles and bother him while he was on vacation, he was going to call Peaches………

“Hello, I want to speak to Angel please………it’s Spike………what do you mean, he’s in conference, I can hear him talking to you, you silly bint!………Harmony – just, just go get him to the phone, I don’t need this bollocks at this time of a morning………(Spike sighed, there was nothing for it) tell him Buffy’s in trouble………Ha! Yeah, thought that make you come running, right, it’s your turn to come and help us for a change……………what do you mean? Why you cheeky sod! For your information, *I* haven’t done ANYTHING stupid, that’s YOUR department – but if you’re going to be sarcastic and piss me off altogether then just forget I ever rang and - WHAT………look, I’ll talk to you any way I bleedin’ well like, I thought you’d like the opportunity to get your hands dirty for a change, do something useful………yeah? Well you do just that, coz if you DO interrupt me…alright here goes, have you read this article about people appearing to be dead drunk, even though they haven’t had a drink………………………………………………………”


************************


Roughly twenty minutes before dawn………

“What kept you – come on into the den, but keep it down coz the witches and the whelp are asleep in the lounge” Spike said as he opened the door to Angel

“Unlike you, I have to get cover, see that things will run smoothly while I’m away from various operations we have on the go at the office, I have to delegate tasks, make sure that clients don’t get overlooked” Angel said with a superior tone.

Spike rolled his eyes and scowled. Waving his hand in a dismissing motion he said,

“Yeah, yeah, spare me the ‘Lord of all I survey’ top banana bollocks, I’m not in the mood”

Angel didn’t argue, he sat down and asked,

“So the other Scoobies are affected too are they?”

“Just the whelp, he bowled in here, bout half an hour after Clem carried Buffy home”

Angel raised and eyebrow and said,

“Clem?”

“Yeah, loose-skinned Rimp demon, harmless, he lives in my old crypt – he heard this off-key singing and crashing around outside, went to investigate, found Buffy apparently out of her skull, she fell backwards over a gravestone and rendered herself unconscious, he bought her to me, don’t mind telling you I thought something nasty had got her, she looked lifeless in his arms - I nearly freaked” Angel nodded, THAT he could understand………

“Go on, anything else?”

Spike shrugged and shook his head and said,

“Only that the whelp bowled in here looking like he’d been to a good frat party, knickers on his head, covered in purple foam, traffic cone, wet trousers, odd shoes…”

“Traffic cone?”

“Yeah, something for his beloved ‘Wee-wo’, apparently”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, don’t ask, it doesn’t matter, what DOES matter is we find out what’s causing this as soon as possible, and stop it”

“Have you any idea as to what it is – could it be a drug, do you think?”

“No, coz Buffy wouldn’t do drugs…nothing is showing up in toxicology reports either”

“Toxicology reports?” Angel parroted again

“Here, read for yourself, it’s all in there what we know!” Spike handed him Tara’s evening paper.

Angel read the article and folded the paper when he’d finished

“Seems really odd”

“I know, that bit about seven people walking along, and only three were affected – it’s weird”

“Gas of some sort, blowing I wisps?” Angel suggested

“Nah, doubt it”

“And you say Willow hasn’t come up with anything?”

“Give the girl a chance, she shouldn’t have been here tonight, Buffy and I were going to have a cosy supper, Red said she’d stay at Glinda’s - but she came back for her Ars Daemonicus when they read the newspaper article – then fuck-wit turns up, and-“

“Sorry, fuck-wit?”

“Xander”

“Oh right”

“And they persuade me that he can’t be moved” From the lounge a loud rasping fart could be heard

“Although if he keeps on doing that, his abode could suddenly change, rapidly…I’d stick a cork up his arse, but I’m frightened he’d break the new windows –anyway, want some coffee or something?!”

“That would be nice…could I see Buffy?”

“No mate, she’s in bed, fast asleep, listen………that’s her snoring!”

“Oh dear!”


********************


Willow woke tousle-haired and dry mouthed, she stood stiffly, stretched and yawned. Going over to the sofa, she looked at Xander – there was no change, he was fast asleep and snoring.

She went to go into the kitchen and saw Angel and Spike sitting at the dining room table with her laptop and Ars Daemonicus open. Spike had a notebook in which he scribbled various notes, he looked up when he saw her

“Mornin’ Red, hope you don’t mind, thought we’d try and get a head start on the old research”

“Be my guest…anything yet?”

“Nope, well not really – the only thing we’ve come across that’s got any sort of similarity, is the ‘Well of Ammondia’, were still on the ‘A’s’ at the moment”

“Oh, what did that do then?”

“Well apparently, anybody that drank from it lost their memory, but it doesn’t say anything about rendering them shit-faced drunk in the process...they just forgot everything”

Angel closed the lap top, yawned and stretched

“Well, that’s me done for now – I think I shall go to bed – I take it I’m in the back room?”

“What – oh um, the back room, er…”

Truth was, Spike hadn’t given it a thought as to where Angel would sleep, and the ‘back room’ was used as a junk room, the other room next to their’s was Willow’s room…exercise bike, suitcases, he’d be lucky if he could find the bed in the back room………

“Um, tell you what, there’s a cot in the basement, use that the back room’s a little full”

Angel rolled his eyes and said he’d see them later.

Spike went up to see how his beloved was, and noticed she hadn’t moved all night…

“Hey, baby…gonna wake up, hmm?” On getting no response, he decided to leave her, sleep was probably the best thing for her, so he got undressed and got in beside her.



By late afternoon Spike woke, checked Buffy, she was still sound asleep and snoring, he got up. Downstairs he snagged up the local afternoon paper, he unfolded it, and much to his great delight, the front page showed a picture of Xander with some students and various dubious looking characters, cavorting in the town Fountain, the report said the students had put washing detergent into it, and some potassium permanganate crystals into it, hence the purple foam he was covered in. It went onto describe how the authorities were still none the wiser as to what was causing the seemingly drunken hordes………Spike smiled – it would be a long time before the whelp lived THIS ONE down – front page, you couldn’t fail to see who it was! On the dining room table, there was a note for him from Willow, it read:



‘Spike, left Xander where he is, he seems okay – left him a glass of water and two Advil on the coffee table in case he wakes up – sorry had to take the laptop as I’ve got a lecture at uni, but I’ll be back about 4-ish to do some more research, Willow – PS, tried to phone Giles, but he must have mobile switched off’

Spike put the note down and went into the kitchen and made tea. He opened the door to the basement and called down,

“Peaches…tea? – Granddad…oh grand-“

“Very funny, I’d prefer coffee”

“Then get up and make it yourself”


******************


Spike looked at the clock, it was 10.10 pm he stood from the dining table where Willow, Tara and Angel were sitting with various books open, and a half eaten pizza.

“Well, I’m just going to check on Buffy, then I’ll be off”

“Off? – Off where?” Angel asked

“Patrolling – just coz Buffy’s out of action, doesn’t mean to say the nasties are”

“I’ll come with you”

Spike rolled his eyes, but said nothing, he went upstairs, noticed that she’d turned over, but seemed to be still sleeping peacefully. He kissed her forehead and whispered he’d be back soon.

“We won’t be too long, keep an eye on her for me?”

“Sure” Willow said, smiling

“Any sign of the whelp coming to yet?” Willow looked over to the sofa, and shook her head

“No – like you I figure sleep is probably the best thing for them at the moment”

Spike nodded and looked at his grand-sire

“Ready then?” Angel nodded and they headed out into the night.

After staking a couple of fledges Spike noticed one or two drunk humans, and to his dismay, he saw Razor, and three of his henchmen riding around the town square, and from what he could pick up with his preternatural hearing, they wanted ‘in’ on what was making everybody drunk in Sunnydale…

“Bollocks! – Stay back!” Spike warned, Pressing Angel in his podgy stomach against the wall

“What is it?”

“Shush…………Hellions………seems they’re trying to find out what’s making everybody pissed in this town………”

“Hellions?” Angel said in a loud voice

“Will you be quiet!” Spike hissed, glaring at Angel

“They’re not so tough, and there’s only four of them, I’m sure between us we could-“ Spike cut him off saying,

“End up getting seriously hurt – four of them - my arse, those are only his soldiers at arms, the rest of the gang would be down here before you could say, pass me Mr Pointy – move, go on, round the corner………”

“Are you sure there’s more of them?” The look Spike gave him said it all and Angel conceded,

“Right, sorry, take your word for it, your patch and all that”

All the time Spike was humouring Angel, he kept half an eye at what was going on over his grand-sire’s shoulder………Spike mentally slapped himself upside the head, he SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!

He should have known that it was something to do with that snivelling little weasel, Willy…something, although he couldn’t quite make out what, was going on at the back of Willy’s bar………





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