But tonight, Buffy longed for another motel, longed for the trip itself to linger on. She didn't want to do this.
She had to do this…
The nervousness that had been building in the pit of Buffy's stomach reached nearly uncontrollable levels as Spike turned the DeSoto onto Revello Drive. What would she say to Giles? How would she tell him that the organization he put his faith in—the one he worked for—had killed someone he loved?
And even on top of that, how the hell was she going to explain Spike?
Buffy didn't have much longer to ponder her questions as Spike pulled up in front of the house and cut off the car's engine. "Are you ready for this, luv?" he asked Buffy as he turned towards her.
"I've gotta be, don't I?"
"You don't have to be, kitten. If you need more time, we can…"
"No," Buffy said, not letting him finish. "Putting it off won't make things any better."
Spike knew she was right, and he didn't push her to wait anymore. "Let's go then. I'll be right beside you, Buffy. The whole time. I won't leave you."
Buffy smiled softly at him. "I know, Spike. And knowing you'll be there helps. It does."
Spike took her hand as soon as they were out of the car, and Buffy welcomed the extra strength it made her feel. His hand was cool and solid, reassuring.
She stopped for a moment outside the door, taking a deep breath before she knocked. She heard movement in the house and waited until Giles opened the door, a look of shock going across his face before he broke out in a smile, relief flooding his features. "Buffy! Good lord, I thought I'd never see you again! I…" He stopped suddenly, paling as he realized she was not alone.
"Giles, get away from them!"
Buffy turned sharply, her heart dropping in her chest when she saw the Slayer storming up to the house, crossbow in her hand.
And she wasn't alone.
Spike grabbed Buffy and held her against his chest as he slid into gameface and snarled at his grandsire.
Angel snarled back, his yellow eyes trained on Spike. "What are you doing here?"
"Buffy needed to talk to the Watcher," Spike replied evenly, despite his demon growling for the other vampire's blood to be spilled.
Nancy stopped inches in front of Buffy and Spike, her crossbow still pointed at the couple. "Like hell she does. I'm dusting both of you right now."
Buffy turned towards the Slayer, annoyance clear in her expression. "Hello? Not a vampire!"
"I don't believe you," Nancy said. "You're with him." She nodded at Spike.
"Yeah, and you're with him," Buffy said, gesturing sharply towards Angel. "Last time I was here, he was trying to kill you and me both."
"He's got a soul again," Spike announced, frowning as he did. "I can sense it all over him."
"And Buffy's not a vampire," Angel confirmed, coming to stand behind Nancy. "But I don't think we can trust her. Spike's claimed her, made her his mate. Who knows what sort of control he's got over her."
Spike snorted in response to that.
"What?!" Buffy yelled, forgetting in her anger she had a Slayer pointing a crossbow at her and maybe she shouldn't provoke her. "I can't be trusted? Where the hell do you get off, Angelus? I mean…"
"It's Angel now," Angel informed her, stiffening at her use of his other moniker.
"Oh who the hell cares?" Buffy snapped. "You can call yourself Bozo the Fucking Clown, it makes no difference. You're still the man who kidnapped me with the intent of raping and murdering me, and I think if one of us here is not to be trusted, it's you."
"He didn't have a soul!" Nancy yelled angrily at Buffy. "Much like the vampire standing behind you right now!"
"Yeah, and somehow the fact that he has one now doesn't make him seem any safer to me," Buffy replied. "And don't you dare start in on Spike."
"Start in on Spike?! He's evil!"
"So's your overly-foreheaded honey!"
"No he's not! Willow restored his soul! He's different now!"
Before Buffy could reply, Giles had stepped out onto the porch and between the two couples. "Nancy, lower your weapon."
"But Giles, she…"
"I said lower your weapon!"
Nancy jumped at the sound of her Watcher yelling, and the crossbow came down.
Giles turned his back on Nancy and Angel. "Buffy, tell me what's going on here. I want to hear it from you."
"There's a lot to tell, Giles," Buffy said. "And it's really not standing on the front porch sort of stuff. It's more of the sitting down with a stiff drink variety."
Giles glanced between Buffy and Spike. He'd heard Angel refer to the pair as being mated, and as a Watcher he knew enough about vampires to know what that meant. And the way Spike had his arm wrapped protectively around Buffy at the same time his hand stroked her hip comfortingly suggested actual affection between the pair. The last time Giles had seen Buffy, she'd been hellbent on killing Spike for murdering her mother. Clearly, something had changed. Something big, even beyond the mating itself.
Perhaps it was curiosity getting the better of him. Or perhaps it was the tenderness in Spike's eyes when he ventured a glance at Buffy that told Giles the bleached vampire was somehow not the threat he once was.
Either way, he stepped back and said, "Then we shall discuss it inside. Come in…both of you."
"Giles!" Nancy screeched. "What are you doing?! Spike is a vampire! You can't invite a vampire into our house!"
Giles stared pointedly at Angel. "Yes, because that would be quite catastrophic." He cleared his throat and then looked back to Buffy. "Come on, my dear."
Nancy stormed into the house after Giles, Buffy, and Spike, Angel close on her heels.
They went into the living room, Spike and Buffy taking a seat on the couch while Giles sat down in a chair. Nancy and Angel remained standing, both watching the blonde couple, and Buffy squirmed uncomfortably. Knowing Angel had a soul now did nothing to erase the memories of what he'd done to her, how it had felt to be cold and naked against his body, his hand cruelly thrusting inside of her, his desire to hurt her so thick she could almost feel it smothering her. She moved closer to Spike, and he put his arm around her, though his body was rigid. Buffy recognized the tension in him. He was coiled for a fight, ready to strike if either Nancy or Angel as much as started to lay a hand on her.
The mood of the room didn't lend itself to small talk, and Giles didn't bother with it. "What did you come here to tell me, Buffy?" He swallowed, then asked in a softer voice, "It's about Joyce, isn't it?"
Buffy nodded slowly. "I found out who was responsible for her death, Giles. It…it wasn't Spike."
"So that's what this is?" Nancy blurted out. "You're all damage-bound on Spike because he killed your mom, but then you start sleeping with him and suddenly you're convinced he's the good guy?"
Buffy cut her eyes at Nancy. "I never said Spike was the good guy, though I do trust him a lot more than your soulful loverboy. What I said was he didn't kill my mother. And he didn't." Buffy brought her gaze back around to meet with Giles's. "It was the Council."
Giles went completely white, his hands trembling. "I…they couldn't…"
"They did," Buffy replied. "Spike?"
Spike reached into his duster and pulled out Howard's journal, handing it to Giles. "It's in there, mate," Spike said softly, feeling pity for the other man. He knew how he'd be feeling, were he in the Watcher's shoes. "Buffy's got the page marked."
Giles flipped open the journal, a sobbing sound escaping from him as he read the dates surrounding Joyce's death. When he was done, he closed the book shut and let it fall on his lap.
"I need to do something, Giles," Buffy said. "I have to find out exactly who on the Council was behind this, and I need to make them pay. I can't let them get away with this."
Giles removed his glasses, wiping his eyes as he did. "No, you can't. And neither can I. I'm assuming you came here for my help?"
Buffy nodded. "You're as close as I can get to the Council right now."
"Right then. You've got it."
"Giles!" Nancy exclaimed. "I can't believe you're falling for this! She's obviously tricking you! Spike's put her up to it. He's trying to infiltrate the Council, and…"
"Nancy, do shut up," Giles snapped, his voice low but menacing. "Buffy, Spike—it's getting late. I believe I have cot in the basement that the two of you could share. Being down there should keep Spike safe from the morning sunlight. We'll discus how to approach this when…" Giles stopped, swallowing hard. "When I've had more time to process it. Buffy, do you mind if I read more of this journal?"
"No, I don't mind. There's more in Spike's car, too. Honey, why don't you go get them?"
Spike glanced between Buffy and Angel. "Are you sure, luv?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," she assured him. "Just hurry back."
Spike kissed the top of her head then got up and walked out of the house.
"I'm not staying under the same roof as him," Nancy said. "He's evil, Giles."
Giles's hand tightened around the spine of Howard's journal. "You're more than welcome to spend the night somewhere else tonight, Nancy."
From the way Nancy's jaw dropped, it was clear she hadn't been expecting that response. "Giles…"
Giles stood and turned to face his Slayer. "No. This is not something we will be discussing. Buffy is a guest in my home, and due to the circumstances, Spike must be as well. The news they have brought me tonight is dire, Nancy. The Watchers' Council murdered a Slayer. There is no reason to think they would not do so again. Is that something you're comfortable with?"
Nancy's arms crossed over her chest. "If the Council did kill her mother, maybe they had a reason."
The look that came to her Watcher's face was one Nancy had never seen before, and it chilled her to the bone. "Don't you ever speak about Joyce that way again, do you hear me? She was more of a Slayer than you could ever hope to be."
Nancy's eyes welled with tears. "Giles…how could you say that?"
"How could you stand here in front of someone and tell him the woman he loved deserved to die? How could you tell someone their mother deserved to die?"
Nancy held her chin up. "I don't trust her, Giles. She's with a vampire. She has to be evil."
Giles scoffed, and Buffy got the feeling it probably had less to do with Giles trusting Spike in the least and more from the fact it was Nancy making a comment like that. Nancy must've, too, because she chose that moment to turn on her heel and storm out of the room.
It was then Buffy realized she and Giles were now alone. Angel must've slipped out during the argument. She reached out to Spike through the claim, but the response she got was one of reassurance, though she could feel her mate's tension as well.
"I don't trust Spike, Buffy," Giles announced, bringing Buffy's attention to him again.
"I know. I didn't expect you to," Buffy replied.
He sat back in his chair, his legs too shaky to keep supporting him. "However did you become mated to him?"
"It was after Angelus and Drusilla got me," Buffy said. "Angelus was going to rape me. Spike went ballistic. He claimed me before Angelus could do anything. We've been dealing with the fallout ever since."
Giles had put his glasses back on upon sitting down, but now they were off again. "I see. Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
"That night, in the warehouse, when Nancy found you. Was that…was that rape?"
"No," Buffy answered, leaving it there. Those were details that didn't need to be shared between anyone but herself and Spike.
"How did all this happen? You thought he killed your mother. You wanted him dead. But the two of you were involved—enough that he would claim you? It doesn't add up, Buffy."
Buffy looked down at her hands. "I know. I was right there for the whole thing, and I'm not completely sure how it happened. All I know is that it did, and Spike and I are together now, for better or for worse."
"Does he have control over you?" Giles asked.
"No, he doesn't. Everything I've done with him has been under my own free will."
"Then how can…" Giles let out a deep breath. "How can you reconcile within yourself what he is? He's a killer."
"He's not killing anymore. I know that doesn't make it all better, but it makes it…a little easier. The claim's permanent, Giles, and I've learned to live with it."
"Joyce wouldn't like this. It wouldn't be what she'd want for you."
Pain surged through Buffy at his words. "I know."
Silent now, they waited for Spike to return with the rest of Howard's journals.
I know most of you were probably expecting a big Angelus face-off, but it didn't fit in with what I have planned for the rest of this fic. I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone!
Please remember to review.