She believed him now, when he told her vampires were more than their demons in corpses. Buffy remembered not too long ago thinking about what he had been like as a human and coming to the conclusion then she'd never know. But she did know. She knew who William must've been. He must've been a good man for bits of him to continue poking out even now, after years of being Spike.
There was nothing but sincerity in the way he held her, comforted her. The night she'd found Howard's journals, Spike had been so kind to her, his concern for her apparent not only though the bond they shared, but through his actions as well. She remembered the attention he'd paid to her hair, knowing she wouldn't want to go back to bed with it tangled and dripping. He'd held her together that night, let her know without a single word that, vampire or not, he loved her as much as he claimed.
Buffy's emotions welled up inside of her, constricting her throat, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead, whispering softly as she did, "Me too, William."
She could hear signs of life upstairs, and as much as she didn't want to, Buffy knew she should go up, speak to Giles. He'd probably be easier to talk to without Spike anyway, since Buffy harbored no illusions about Giles trusting the vampire despite letting him into his home. Reluctantly, she got off the cot, her heart feeling a pang at the way Spike rolled over to the spot she'd just vacated, instinctually seeking her heat.
Buffy got dressed and then went quietly up the stairs, not wanting to wake Spike. She'd hoped to see Giles first, but instead, she ran into Nancy and her friends in the kitchen, fixing sandwiches for lunch.
"Well, look who's awake," Nancy said with a smirk that Buffy really wanted to smack off her face. "I thought for sure you'd sleep the day away."
"Well, normally, I would, but I decided to be social today," Buffy said, forcing herself to adapt a tone of perkiness. "It's difficult to wake up in the morning though, with Spike always wearing me out the way he does. But I suppose you'd know about that sort of thing, wouldn't you, Nancy, since we've got that vampire fetish in common and everything."
Nancy sputtered. Xander looked horrified. Willow raised her napkin to her mouth, and Buffy could've sworn she saw the redhead's eyes light up with a smile, but she couldn't be certain.
"I do not have a vampire fetish," Nancy snapped after a few seconds. "Angel has a soul."
Buffy frowned, mimicking a puzzled look. "Does that make him not able to keep it up all night like the other vamps then?"
This time, Willow's choked laugh could be heard against the napkin, though she quickly covered it with some coughing.
"What Angel and I do is none of your concern," Nancy snapped. "But I can tell you it is nothing like that sick, degrading mockery of a relationship you have with Spike."
Buffy wasn't sure what bothered her more—Nancy's hypocrisy or her willingness to pass judgment on a relationship she knew absolutely nothing about. Either way, it really made her want to hurt the other woman. But, being in no mood to get into a physical fight with the Slayer, Buffy settled on verbal jabs instead. Less blood splatter that way at least, and she was sure Giles would appreciate the lack of mess in his kitchen.
"Well, you sound like you'd be hours of fun in bed," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "No wonder Angel had to go find himself a good time elsewhere. Even that skanky hobiscuit Drusilla had to be better than you."
Nancy had no comeback. Her face crumbled, and she ran out of the room. Buffy felt quite pleased with herself. Apparently she had found the exact right nerve to hit. Yay her.
"You had no right to say that to her," Xander snapped. "Nancy's been through a lot."
Buffy rolled her eyes. So apparently even with Angel back to his soulful self, Xander was still chasing after the Slayer. How very…cute. Kinda like a two-legged puppy. "Why don't you kiss it and make it all better then," Buffy retorted.
Xander glared at Buffy, then followed after Nancy.
When the two of them were alone, Buffy glanced over at Willow. "Sorry."
"For what?" Willow asked.
"You're the only one in here I didn't want to see my bitchy side," Buffy confessed. "You were nice to me before. Baked me cookies and everything." She gave Willow a small smile.
"Well, I liked you then," Willow said. "And I still like you now," she clarified quickly, realizing how her first statement could've sounded. "I don't blame you for being snippy with Nancy. She did start it. Not that I understand why anyone would want to date Spike or anything, 'cause yeah, that's got me a little weirded out, but it's not my business."
Buffy smirked. "Spike's actually not so bad once you get to know him. He's…grown on me. But it's more than just that with Nancy. I know she's your friend and all, and I'm not trying to pull you in the middle of anything, but I don't like her. She's never been particularly nice to me, and well…" Buffy leaned forward closer to Willow and lowered her voice. "I have very good reason to believe the Watchers' Council killed my mother, which is why I'm here. Nancy was there when I told Giles, and her response was basically if the Council killed my mother, then maybe she did something to deserve it. It didn't win her any points with me."
Willow gasped. "Nancy said that?" Even as Willow asked the question, however, she realized that something about it didn't completely surprise her. "Buffy. I'm sure that's not true at all."
"I know it isn't," Buffy said. "I found my mom's Watcher's journals. He didn't exactly lay the whole thing out in step-by-step detail or anything, but he gave reasons why the Council was dissatisfied with her. Apparently she wasn't playing by the Council rules well enough and asserting her independence as a Slayer. Which hey, seeing as she was the one actually Chosen and not them, then I'm thinking not such a bad thing." Buffy glanced back towards where Nancy had walked out. "Besides, somehow I don't think a Slayer in love with a vampire would sit well with the Council either, whether that vampire had a soul or not."
"I don't think so either," Willow admitted. "But…but Angel can be okay, too, Buffy. When he's not killing people—or goldfish. Or…or making with the big stalkey-ness."
"Willow, Angel tried to rape and murder me," Buffy said bluntly. "He wanted to make Spike watch while he tortured me, and then turn me into a vampire so he could taunt Spike with having me as his. Somehow, that doesn't manage to score Angel any points in my book."
Willow looked horrified. "Buffy, I knew Angelus got you, but I had no idea…"
"It's okay," Buffy said, waving her hand. "I've dealt. Besides, Spike saved me." She smiled softly, looking at that night through new eyes now. The circumstances may have not been the best, and the following days may have been rocky, but Spike did save her that night. And now, given all that had passed between them, Buffy had to wonder if the reason had truly been as simple as Spike just not wanting to have to share another woman with Angelus. She could admit now, at least to herself, that there had been something between them from the very beginning. A connection, a spark.
"It's hard to picture Spike as the hero type," Willow said. "He's always been more of the 'Grr…I'll drink from your brainstem' type."
Buffy giggled. "He can be that, too, but…" She paused for a moment, wondering how much she wanted to say. She didn't know Willow very well, and honestly, for all she did know, Willow could be the "good cop" to Nancy's bad one, befriending Buffy just to get information from her. She didn't, however, sense any of that sort of deception from the other girl. If anything, she was getting the feeling Willow was somewhat hostile towards Nancy, albeit secretly. And besides, she really felt like gushing about Spike.
"Spike's changed from when I first met him," Buffy said, leaning in a little more. Willow leaned in, too, a shared conspiratorial gleam in her eye, the look on her face showing that she was ready for some girl talk. "At first I didn't want to believe it, y'know? I mean, vampire being nice—gotta be a trick. But it isn't. Spike and I, we're mated, and that's really hard to explain, but…it gives us this amazing connection. I can't read his every thought or anything like that, but we share emotions. In the beginning, I didn't like it because I felt like he was forcing all these emotions on to me, but the claim isn't so overwhelming anymore. Like it needed time to settle or something. And now it's just like there's always this tiny part of him with me, so I never feel alone. No matter how bad I feel or how rough things are, I can always sense this bit of Spike's love for me, deep down inside."
Willow's eyes widened. "Spike loves you? But he's a vampire…"
"A vampire that loves me," Buffy said. "I know, I thought it was crazy at first, but he's shown me how true it is. He can be soo sweet, Willow. When we go to bed at night, he's always fussing with the comforter, making sure I have enough so he doesn't make me cold when we sleep. And he's always concerned that I'm not eating enough because of how skinny I was when we met, so he makes sure I get enough to eat. He remembers things I say, like I told him my favorite kind of ice cream, and the next time he went to the store, it was in the bag he brought home without me saying anything else about it."
Willow was still having a hard time imagining Spike—Spike who had tried numerous times to kill her and all her friends—as anything but evil, but she had to admit that the things Buffy mentioned sounded a lot like real love to her. Granted, her one relationship ever was really just beginning, but it seemed to her that if someone were going to fake love, they wouldn't think to add those tiny details. Especially not Spike, since Willow did notice that he'd never been one for carefully laid out plans. Maybe Grandma Rosenberg had been right, and all any man did need was the love of a good woman…
"So do you love him, too?" Willow asked.
Buffy blushed and looked down. "I haven't…to him…I haven't said…"
"Gotcha," Willow said, pulling up. "Consider that question retracted."
"Thanks," Buffy told her, visibly grateful.
A few moments later, the door to the basement opened, and Spike came into the kitchen. Buffy's stomach did a little flip as she wondered how much he might have heard. Knowing Spike, he'd either come upstairs without paying a bit of attention to anything or he'd eavesdropped on the whole thing. Not a lot of happy medium with that man…
"Morning, luv," he rumbled against Buffy as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Morning," Buffy replied, leaning back against him.
Willow hid her smirk as she watched Buffy turn to jelly in Spike embrace. Seeing them together seemed to back up what Buffy had said, and Willow thought about it for a moment. Nancy seemed adamant they accept Angel back into the group now that he had a soul, but he'd certainly done his share of bad to them. He'd even killed someone they knew—something Spike had never managed to do. And if Spike could be all nice and loving with Buffy, then didn't he maybe have something like a soul, too? Willow didn't understand the mating thing Buffy had talked about, but it seemed pretty powerful. And whoa… She could feel some sort of mystical energy humming around the couple. Felt pretty powerful, too.
"I'll need to make a run later, when the sun goes down, luv," Spike said to Buffy, speaking softly but still loud enough for Willow to hear. "I realized when I woke up I left the cooler with the blood in the car last night, and by now, I'm sure the ice has melted and the heat's spoiled it all."
"There's blood in the freezer," Willow piped up, causing both Buffy and Spike to turn towards her. "Nancy keeps it in there for Angel. It's pig's blood, and I don't know if you like that, but I could warm some up for you."
Spike regarded Willow for a moment with surprise. "Thanks, Red. I'd appreciate it." He kept to himself the fact that pig's blood or not, it would give him an extra kick getting into Angel's supply. From the smirk on Buffy's face, he figured she hadn't missed that.
"Then one vampire breakfast, coming up," Willow said, jumping from her seat and going over to the freezer.
Spike watched her for a moment, his shock over Willow offering to get blood for him not subsiding. He'd expected more fear, at least a little bit of contempt, but she was being friendly to him and to Buffy, so much as to engage in a little girl talk with his mate this morning.
That conversation alone had been about enough to almost make Spike burst into song. If he did that sort of thing. In public.
"Thanks," Spike said again when Willow brought the freshly-warmed mug of blood over to Spike. "And um, sorry for the whole trying to kill you thing."
"Well, I did try to shoot you with that crossbow once, even if I did hit the wall several feet away, but, um…never try to do it again and we'll call it even?" Willow's voice went up to a little squeak at the end of her sentence.
Spike chuckled, and the warm sound made Willow visibly relax. "Even it is then, Red."
Willow smiled and sat back down in her chair, finding herself very glad that Buffy had come back to Sunnydale.
I should be able to keep this fic with a regular posting schedule through to the end. I'm planning on posting three days a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I won't, however, be able to post next Friday, June 16, because I'll be going out of town for the weekend. But I'll post new chapters on Monday and Wednesday, and then go back to three a week the following week.
Please remember to review. It takes only a few moments, and it means so much to know that the hours of work I put into each chapter is appreciated.