Buffy frowned as she came downstairs to find Nancy's friends gathered in the living room. "Shouldn't you people like, be in school or something?" she asked.

"It's four o'clock in the afternoon," Xander replied, his mouth full of twinkie.

Buffy just grunted a little in response. She'd long since put herself on the same schedule as a vampire. Sleep during the day…hunt at night.

"Do you need anything?" Nancy asked, standing up. "Giles just got back from the store, so there's food in there."

"You can sit back down," Buffy said. "I think I can remember where the kitchen is." Buffy walked out of the living room, ignoring the comments she heard about her behavior coming from the Slayer and her lackeys.

"Buffy, you're awake!" Giles said as he saw her come in.

"Yeah. I'm a late sleeper, what with the staying up all night to vanquish the undead and all…"

"No, that's fine. Nancy often sleeps late as well for the same reason." Giles cleared his throat. "I was just unpacking the groceries. If you're hungry, there's more food than there was last night."

Buffy looked at the brown paper bags filling the kitchen. "I'd say you went shopping… Planning on feeding an army, Giles?"

He shifted a little. "I didn't know what you like."

Buffy gave him what could've been the beginnings of a smile. "Well, I'm sure I can find something in all of this." She went to a bag, her eyes brightening slightly as she saw what was in it. "Ooh…frozen pizza."

Giles's mouth turned up in a wry smile as he turned on the oven. "Better put in a couple of them. Those children out there eat everything in sight."

Buffy pulled out two boxes. "Noted." She opened the first box, pulling the pizza out of its plastic bag before moving to the next one. "You loved her, didn't you?" she asked suddenly.

The question startled Giles, but he didn't have to ask who she meant. Joyce… "Yes. I did. I wanted to marry her, but she wasn't ready."

"I didn't…I didn't know she was seeing anyone," Buffy said softly, staring down at the frozen pizza.

"She didn't want you to get attached to me in case things didn't work out," Giles explained. "And I was in England most of the time, so we only got to see each other rarely."

"Did she…did she ever talk about me?"

"Always. You were the center of her world, Buffy. She wanted nothing more than your happiness."

The silence that followed was broken by the ding of the oven, letting them know that it was heated. Buffy put the pizzas in. "Timer?"

"There's one on the microwave," Giles replied.

Buffy nodded, setting the timer for the pizzas. "Want help with the groceries?" she asked.

"No, I can handle it. I have a system in the pantry, and I don't much care for explaining it right now."

Buffy smirked. "Yeah, now you sound like a Watcher."

Giles gave her a look, but said nothing in response to that. He began to unload another bag, but stopped, cereal box in hand. "I have a picture of you she gave me. In my wallet."

Buffy looked towards him sharply. "You do?"

"Yes. It was your four year old pre-school picture. I knew…I know you aren't my daughter, but I'd wished you would be. In retrospect, I suppose it was a bit of a pipe dream, but I thought we'd all be together someday. That you, Joyce, and I could be a family."

Buffy pushed down the lump that formed in her throat. She didn't have time for emotions, not when she was this close to avenging her mother. "The Slayer doesn't get to have a family."

"No, I guess she doesn't." Giles cleared his throat. "But I was young then. I didn't understand things the way I do now."

Buffy turned, staring at the microwave as the numbers counted down.

*** *** ***

Buffy forced herself to eat despite the fact that her appetite seemed to have waned following her conversation with Giles. If she was going to face Spike that night, she would need all the energy she could get.

The Slayer and her friends seemed to be perfectly content, however. They were seated on the end of the table opposite from Buffy, engaged in a conversation that they'd made no attempt to include the blonde in. Not that she really cared. She certainly didn't have a place in her life for friends, and she thought it was crazy that the Slayer thought otherwise about her own life. Didn't she know that all Slayers did was wait around to die?

"It'll be dark soon," Buffy said, tiring of the inane chatter at the other end of the table. "Shouldn't we be thinking about getting ready to hunt?"

"I don't 'hunt,'" Nancy replied, looking down the table towards Buffy. "I patrol."

"Whatever, Sergeant Slayer. When are we going to patrol?"

"We don't have to rush out as soon as the sun goes down, Buffy," Nancy said. "Vampires usually don't."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Please. For vamps, the sunset means dinner bell. Didn't they teach you anything in Slayer school?"

"Hey, Nancy's a good Slayer," Xander snapped. "She knows how to do her job."

"A Slayer's job is to get herself killed. It's all she's good for," Buffy said.

"Hey! Don't talk about Nancy that way!" Xander yelled. "She's a good Slayer. She knows how to stay alive."

"Oh yeah?" Buffy replied. "Why don't you ask her? You know, don't you Nancy? You know you have an expiration date and the clock's just ticking away. Waiting until some demon finally gives you the death you were born for."

"Don't talk to her like that!" Xander jumped up, pointing at Buffy. "Just because Spike took a bite out of your mother doesn't mean Nancy's going to end up the same way."

Buffy's eyes narrowed. So Nancy had filled her friends in on who Buffy was and why she was there… "Don't you ever speak about my mother," Buffy said, her tone almost a growl. "She was a better Slayer than Nancy could even dream of being."

Xander opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could, Nancy stood up, slamming her hands down on the table. "Stop it! Both of you. This bickering won't do anyone any good."

Xander sat down, looking slightly sheepish. "Sorry, Nan. I was just trying to…"

"I know. And I do appreciate it. Really."

Buffy got up, her anger far from gone. "I'm going to get weapons, and then I'm heading out to find Spike. If you want to quit playing social butterfly and actually act like a Slayer, you can come to."

Nancy sucked in a deep breath. "I can do my job, Buffy. I've been doing it from two years."

"Color me not impressed," Buffy replied, walking out of the room before Nancy or one of her friends could say anything else. She had more important things to do than deal with them.

Buffy opened her one bag, everything she had to her name inside. She pulled out her crossbow, running her hand over it. It was one of the two things she still had of her mother's, the other being the cross that hung around her neck.

She thought it would be a fitting weapon to kill Spike with. Would give her mother that final bit of justice.

"Buffy?"

Buffy grimaced at the sound of Nancy's friend's voice. She turned, the crossbow still in her hand. "What? Willow, right?"

"Yeah. And, um, could you maybe point that someplace else?" Willow asked. "Not that I think you're going to shoot me or anything, they just make me nervous."

Buffy lowered the crossbow, though her dark expression remained firmly in place. "Come to add to what Xander had to say? Defend the almighty Nancy the Vampire Slayer?"

Willow shook her head. "No. I mean, Nancy and Xander are both my friends, but what he said—about your mom and Spike—that was wrong. He just has this problem where every time he opens his mouth, his foot automatically goes in it. We've tried to find something for it, pills—maybe a cream—but so far it's been a no-go."

Buffy couldn't help the tiniest grin from forming. "I've heard it's a side effect of having your head up your ass. Less space for the foot to travel or something."

Willow smirked. "Possibly." She sobered, starting again. "See, the thing with Xander—he's got feelings for Nancy. They dated a little when she first came to Sunnydale, but, well, she had the big yen for Angel, and that pretty much prevented anything from going very far."

"So she broke his heart and he's still hanging around?" Buffy made a sound of disbelief. "Guy must be quite the glutton for punishment."

"He thinks she'll 'come to her senses' and get back together with him," Willow said. "He sure it'll happen any day now that Angel's back to being Angelus."

"But it's not going to, is it?"

"No, I don't think it is. Nancy's still reeling from the fact that her first love went all evil and tried to kill her."

"That's what happens when you fall for a vampire," Buffy said. "I heard that this 'Angel' got a soul shoved in him by gypsies or something, but that really didn't change anything. An animal with a soul is still an animal. Nothing can change what a vampire is, nothing can make them love or even care. They're demons at the core and they always will be."

Willow shifted, and Buffy could tell the conversation had become uncomfortable for her. There was something in her expression that told Buffy that she agreed some with what she had to say, at least a little bit, but at the same time, accepting and admitting that would make her feel as if she was betraying her friend. "He was different with a soul. He helped us, and he loved Nancy. But now…"

"Now he's just showing his true colors," Buffy said, her grip on her crossbow tightening. "I'll dust him if I get a chance, too. I don't care what Nancy has to say about it."

Willow's gaze turned down slightly. "Nancy knows it needs to be done. Our only hope of re-ensouling him is gone."

Buffy's eyebrow quirked. "How exactly were you going to do that?"

"Ms. Calendar, the computer science teacher at Sunnydale High, was a member of the gypsy clan that cursed Angelus in the first place. She was working on how to translate the spell when Angelus…"

"Killed her," Buffy finished for her.

Willow nodded. "Snapped her neck and left her in Giles's bed to find. It was awful."

"Why did he leave her there?" Buffy asked, though as soon as the question was out of her mouth she realized the answer. "She and Giles were…"

"Yeah. I think he was in love with her."

Despite her attempts to keep her emotions in check, Buffy's heart went out to Giles. He'd lost two women that he loved, both to vampires. She knew he had to be hurting in a way very similar to the way she was. In that moment, it became more for her than just a vengeance quest for her mother. It was also for the man that could have been her father. She'd put an end to both Spike and Angelus, and maybe Giles could know a little peace, too.

When Buffy said nothing in return, Willow spoke again. "I didn't really mean to get into all of this, I just… I wanted to tell you that while Nancy is my friend, I'd…I'd like you to be, too. You seem…really lonely."

"I appreciate the offer, but friends aren't something I want or need. I mean, you seem like a nice enough girl and all, but I'm on a mission here, and I don't really have time for chatting about boys while we paint each other's nails."

"You can't be alone all the time," Willow said. "Everyone needs someone."

"I have a mission," Buffy replied. "It's enough."

"But what happens when you kill Spike? What then?"

Buffy felt a small amount of gratitude towards Willow for not doubting her ability to kill Spike. Nice to know someone didn't think she was incompetent… "I don't know," she replied honestly. She turned around, grabbing a stake from her bag and putting it in the side pocket of her cargo pants. "But right now, I have to go hunting." She walked past Willow and out the door, not slowing down long enough for anyone to stop her.

*** *** ***

"The moon is calling, my sweet. It will wake soon, and so shall you."

Spike kept his eyes shut as he wondered when exactly Drusilla waking him had become more of an annoyance than a pleasure. Probably when she started doing it with his scent all over her, he thought grimly.

"Let him sleep the night away if that's what he wants. He's never any use on a hunt away."

The sound of his grandsire's voice grated, but Spike refused to let himself be goaded. It was too early in the evening to deal with all of that. He needed to feed first.

Drusilla whimpered. "He never wants to play with Mummy anymore. He just waits for the Sunshine to come and take him away…"

Angelus laughed loudly at that. "I wish. He'd be a lot less irritating as a pile of dust."

"Oooh…but I want him to come with us, Daddy."

Spike opened his eyes then, meeting Dru's wide gaze. It hadn't been that long ago that the idea of hunting with Drusilla would've brought him bounding to his feet. But since Angelus's return, that had changed. Spike would find himself lagging behind as Dru watched with the glee of an evil child as Angelus tortured his latest meal. The elder vampire's posturing for Drusilla made Spike nothing more than bored. He could remember things being this way in the past, before the onset of "Angel," but at that time he hadn't had decades of Dru to himself. Watching Drusilla focused so intently on someone other than him now took the sweetness out of the hunt.

"I'll catch up later, pet," he said. "You go have your fun."

Drusilla surprised him when she stepped back from the bed with a hiss. "You won't come at all. The pixies are whispering to me, and you're going to be a very naughty boy if you stay. Come now or I shan't let you have any cake."

"I'm not in the mood for cake, Dru," Spike snapped as he sat up.

"No," Drusilla spat. "You want spun sugar and lemon drops."

"As amusing as this lovers' quarrel for the insane is, can we get going? I'm hungry," Angelus said, a bored expression on his face as he stood in the doorway to the bedroom.

Drusilla turned away from Spike, going to her sire. Angelus took her hand, giving Spike a mock salute before leaving.

Spike growled, flopping back on the bed. This was getting to be too much. He found himself actually missing Darla. At least she'd managed to pull some of Angelus's attention away from Drusilla. But now… Things had gotten to the point that Spike had actually entertained the crazy notion of helping the Slayer kill her pointy-haired wanker of an ex.

He got out of the bed, angrily gathering his clothes. He needed to kill something.

*** *** ***

I've had several questions as to whether or not Spike killed Joyce. I'm not going to answer this here, or as a response to any of the reviews where the question has been asked because that would spoil things for the readers who don't want to know. But, if whether or not you want to keep reading this story depends on the answer to that, then email me (addie_logan@yahoo.com) and I'll let you know. I can see where that would be an issue for some readers, and I'll be happy to answer that in a way that won't ruin things for the other readers.

Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing, and I really hope you'll keep it up. This story is different than anything I've written before, which makes me all the more curious to know what people are thinking. I write primarily to please myself, sure, but I could do that and not post it on the internet for other people to read. (Not that I have any intention of stopping my posts. Don't panic.) If I'm going to take the time to present the story to others, I'd like to know what they think of it. I hope you can all understand that. :)





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