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Chapter Sixteen



Spike felt like he’d just had the wind knocked out of him. Happy 21st Birthday Buffy? Eighteen plus five, yes it still equaled twenty three. How was it possible that Buffy was only celebrating her twenty first birthday?

Spike looked around the party for Dawn, Hank, anyone who could explain. Whoever had made that banner had to have made a huge mistake. If it was true... he didn’t even want to think of that possibility. That would make him a child molester, a pedophile, a cradle robbing bastard!

"Spike!"

He turned his head to see Buffy coming towards him with a smile, looking happier than he’d seen her in a while.

"What are you doing here? I didn’t know my Dad invited you."

Spike turned back to stare at the banner for a moment and then returned his gaze to Buffy. Reading the hurt and confusion in his eyes, her smile disappeared. "Spike..."

"It’s true?!" He gestured to the banner frantically.

Buffy rushed closer to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and hoping he would lower his voice. "Spike-"

He backed away from her quickly, ripping his arm away from her grasp as if he’d been stung. "What the hell is this, Buffy?"

Buffy looked back at her guests and saw many of them staring at the strange couple. She grabbed Spike’s arm, despite his protests, and dragged him out into the hall. Once she was certain they were far enough away so that they wouldn’t be heard, she turned to him.

"You’re twenty one??" All Spike wanted was for Buffy to tell him there had been some sort of mistake made, that she was really twenty three and hadn’t lied to him.

Buffy nodded, lowering her gaze to the floor.

Spike took a deep breath. "So that means you were," he paused mentally doing the math. "SIXTEEN! Sixteen, Buffy, do you know that that’s a crime?! I could have gone to jail!"

Buffy winced. Not only was Spike yelling, but his tone had turned dangerously angry. "Spike, please, let me explain!"

"What’s there to explain?" Spike yelled. "You lied to me!"

"Yes, I did. But I did it to be with you!" Spike buried his head in his hands. "I didn’t think we’d ever see each other again. And then in L.A. I knew it was only for the summer. I didn’t think we would start a relationship like we did." Her voice grew softer. "I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you!"

"Well it doesn’t bloody matter much now does it?" Spike looked up at her. "This changes everything! This turns what we had into something ugly. It turns me into a rapist, Buffy."

Buffy shook her head. "No, it doesn’t!" she insisted. "You can’t be a rapist when I was willing. I knew what I wanted then, and nothing’s changed about that. I would do it all over again, doesn’t that mean anything?"

It was Spike’s turn to shake his head. "It just means you’d lie to me again."

Buffy took a deep breath, angry at him for his stubbornness and angry at herself for letting her lie get so far. "While we’re on the subject of ages," she started waiting for him to make eye contact with her. When he finally did, she almost couldn’t continue.

"Sarah, she’s three," Buffy said, hoping he’d realize what she was trying to tell him without actually having to say it. Spike just kept staring at her with a blank expression on his face. "She was born April 14, 1998." She could tell Spike was subtracting nine months from that date in his head. "July," she told him before he reached his conclusion. "And I wasn’t with anyone else that summer."

Spike eyes widened in disbelief. Buffy was a completely different person to him now. Not only had she lied about her age, but she’d kept him from his daughter for almost four years.

"I know you’re angry-"

"How could you keep her from me all this time?" Spike choked out, barely able to speak.

"It’s not like that!" Buffy insisted. "I didn’t know until it was too late."

Spike looked at her with unshed tears in his eyes. Her heart went out to him, but it really wasn’t her fault as much as he must want to blame her. She had tried everything to find him, but to no avail.

"Spike, I’m sorry," she offered, reaching out her hand again to comfort him.

Spike drew away again, this time looking at her with so much hurt she felt like dying. Much as she’d done that afternoon at his office, he turned away from her and rushed out of the building, getting as far away from her as possible.



Spike walked down the crowded Los Angeles street, feeling like he didn’t have a place in the world to go. He’d rather be out with a million strangers than sit at home by himself and cry about the awful situation he was now faced with.

He had a daughter.

Those were scary words. He now had someone who would need him and depend on him. And she had a mother who at the moment he never wanted to see again.

Without realizing it, Spike had subconsciously stopped in front of his favorite bar. It was the only place he could step into and try to forget about Buffy and his daughter.

"What brings you here tonight, Spike? Not getting any from that crazy girlfriend of yours?" Anya, the bartender, called out to him.

Spike made his way over to the bar she was standing behind. "Not exactly, pet." He ordered his usual, three shots of Jack Daniels and drank them fast, one after the other.

"A little bit worse than that, huh?"

After a lot more whisky, Spike was in the mood to tell Anya about his problems. "So you see, the bloody bitch never told me I had a soddin daughter! Now she just expects me to be okay with it."

"Which you’re not doing a good job of, by the way," she told Spike honestly. That’s why he liked her, he could always expect the complete truth.

"Yeah, well whatdya expect?" Spike slurred angrily. "Now I got someone to take care of! Have to do all the nappy changing and whatnot."

Anya slapped him on the back of the head. "Way to be Mr. Negativity! You’ve also got a daughter! Daughters love their daddies, and when you get old she’ll be the one taking care of you." Anya rolled her eyes. "What, you never thought you were going to get married and have kids?"

Spike thought about this. Ever since that summer Buffy had left him, he’d really given up on love. Buffy had been his one true love and he hadn’t felt like settling for second best. Which, he knew, would have meant a lifetime membership to the bachelorhood.

"I dunno, it’s all too soon," Spike murmured, taking a swig from the bottle Anya had long ago deposited in front of him to save herself from constantly pouring it into new shot glasses.

"Yeah, well get used to it," she replied. "You’re a father now."





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