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The next few weeks seemed to fly by. Sometimes Buffy felt as if she couldn’t catch her breath with the breakneck speed things were happening at. It was amazing the things one could accomplish in just a few weeks.

Within two of those weeks, Buffy had a “For Sale” sign outside her home and had her sights set on a house on the other side of town big enough for her and Lindsey – and possibly Spike should that day arrive . . . and even more little ones should that day ever arrive as well.

She refused to think that far ahead though. Refused to let herself get whisked away by her fantasies too much for the fear that the other shoe she was sure was there, just waiting in the wings, decided to drop.

Spike seemed to have no such fear. It amazed her to no extent how incredibly positive he could be. When she’d commented one night about it, he’d grinned and said it was love. She wondered if that meant it was taking her longer to arrive to love or if her pessimism was just keeping her in check.

One thing she’d learned over the past couple months was that things had a tendency to change fast and suddenly and the disorder and chaos was less if you expected them to happen than if you went in blindly thinking everything would always just come up roses.

She remembered the idealistic girl she used to be when she’d met and fallen for Angel. She remembered how she had their future planned complete with the picket fence and 2.5 kids. That was the thing about reality. It had a way of rearing its ugly head. The fairy tales never said what happened after Cinderella and Snow White went with Prince Charming to his castle. The story ended there when in reality, the real story started there. However, like most naive girls, Buffy had thought that as soon as she and Angel, her once upon a time Prince Charming married, the story ended there and it was smooth sailing from there on out.

Hell, no.

Her fairy tale had taken a wrong turn and derailed and breakneck speed. She’d left the crash angry, disoriented, hurt and most of all and most importantly, jaded.

Spike seemed set on eradicating that jadedness though. He was intent on making her dreams come true and Buffy sometimes felt guilt at not being able to always be there in the moment with him.

She was also jealous that he could be in the moment. He’d suffered just as much as she had, hadn’t he? How was it he was able to toss the past years over his shoulder as if it hadn’t happened and forge ahead with sword drawn ready to take on her dragons?

She found herself smiling a lot more, that was for sure. She’d even caught herself smiling some mornings upon waking and sometimes she wouldn’t even scold herself for it. The idea made her chuckle to herself. At least she could laugh at herself and her own neurosis right? That was a step in the right direction as far as she was concerned.

Lindsey had benefited from her parents being so agreeable and happyunder the same roof. Buffy was strict about him spending the night however. She wasn’t sure that she was ready for Lindsey to be privy to witnessing that. It was all part of the shoe dropping that Buffy was concerned about. She would be able to handle the shoe dropping a lot better if it were just her, but after everything that had happened, she wasn’t sure she could handle the shoe dropping for her daughter as well.

Not that Spike would ever hurt Lindsey. Or leave her. He loved the girl to bits and pieces and the sentiment was more than reciprocated. Buffy just didn’t want to have to explain why Daddy was there one minute and then not the next. But that was her negativity talking; her jadedness, and Spike wouldn’t hear of that. So she said nothing of it.

Moments were stolen. Kisses upon arrival home, kisses in the hall passing by each other. Hand holding when making trips to the park with their daughter or to the zoo. Subtle signs of affection that subconsciously she was sure Lindsey absorbed, but nothing so much that would make her ask questions should it all blow up in their faces.

Again, jadedness talking.

However, the passionate fury which they came together once their daughter was in bed was . . . God, it was amazing. It left her breathless. She found herself thinking of those times and blushing while thinking ‘I did that? I actually said that?’ Her sex life before Spike had been . . . well, boring. Boring compared to Spike anyway. He was a talented and generous lover. Something Angel always wasn’t. And oh boy would Spike hate to hear her even thinking about comparing them. It wasn’t as if she could help it though. When you’ve had one lover for most of your life and then have another, it’s a normal human reaction. One she would keep to herself though. Especially since Spike was averse to hearing his name mentioned in even the most innocent of conversations.

No matter though how fast they could take each other or how achingly slow, it was always making love to Spike and he told her as much every time. He lavished her with affection and attention. He was a well of emotion when it came to expressing how he felt. It shook her at times, it moved her and it frightened her. He knew too. He knew by the way she would sometimes bury her face in his chest and just sigh. That’s when he’d change the subject and make a joke.

She wondered if it hurt him; knew it had to sometimes. So, she tried to show him in other ways. Like the way she threw him a surprise party, just her and Lindsey, when he’d finished the book he’d been working on. Or the way she’d wrap her arms around him from behind as he made dinner and rest her head between his shoulder blades, just letting him know she liked being close to him. And the way she would sometimes leave him cute little notes that simply said “I like you.”

Yes, Buffy was growing increasingly happy as the days wore on. She was pondering her happiness and the goofy grin on her face as she slipped Spike’s t-shirt on one Sunday morning and headed towards the kitchen to make him breakfast. They’d gotten Willow to babysit the night before and Spike had taken her out to dinner and a movie before coming back to his place so he could have her ‘in his bed’. Was it wrong that she felt a rush at his possessiveness? The slight feminist in her retaliated against it, but the very feminine side of her relished it. She’d never felt she truly belonged to Angel. Because, well, she hadn't.

Humming softly to herself, Buffy opened the fridge and started taking out eggs and moving things around in the freezer to find some bacon. Placing the items on the counter, she opened the bread box to get some bread and chuckled to herself. Some people put bread in bread boxes, but not her man. She smiled to herself. Her man, huh? She started closing the bread box when a name caught her eye. “Winifred.” She took pause, staring at the envelope in which Fred’s name was scrawled on. Her eyes rose to the date on the top. He’d received it just a few days ago.

Her heart started thumping hard in her chest. Why was Fred writing to Spike? It was probably just a congratulatory letter because they were part of the same publishing house . . . right? But . . . wasn’t that ridiculous? He hated her! She ran out on him with Angel, why would she possibly think he wanted to hear from her? Unless . . . No. Ridiculous Buffy. Spike would never romantically correspond with her. Besides, didn’t the lying tramp have Angel now?

Her fingers shaking, and knowing that Spike would kill her if he walked in and found her reading her mail, but being desperately unable to stop herself, Buffy opened the already read and opened letter and started to read.

Now she knew why they said curiosity killed the cat.





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