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Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Chapter Five

Buffy stood slowly, keeping her eyes on Spike. He watched her and she could see the challenge in his eyes, daring her not to run.

"We're gonna get it all out now, Spike. No holding back. I'm done playing games with you."

"Are you now?" he asked her with slight amusement.

"Are you done playing games with me? Or do you want to continue? Maybe that's what this is all about for you. The dance."

He stood, stomping his cigarette out on the grass and leveled his gaze to hers. "Let's go."

Turning towards Lindsey, she informed her daughter she was going inside, but would just be inside the kitchen if she needed anything. Lindsey nodded absently and dug deeper in her sandbox.

Buffy trudged into the house with Spike not far behind.

FLASHBACK

She wound her arms around his neck, losing herself in the feel of his lips. She clung to him, needing him to hold her up. She knew it wasn't the thimble full of whiskey he put in her tea that was making her head spin and the world fall beneath her feet until there was only Spike with his lips hungrily moving against hers.

The hard evidence of his desire made itself known against her stomach, but it didn't scare her or rattle her at all.

It made her want more. The blood was rushing and pounding in her ears and when Spike tore his lips for them to grab air; she blindly sought his lips once again.

"Buffy, look at me," he whispered, making her look at him by grabbing her chin.

His stormy blue eyes were darkened to navy in his lust. She gulped.

"Yes?"

"Tell me now you want me to stop and I'll stop. I can't . . . I won't be able to stop if we continue. . ." his eyes closed and the next part came out as somewhat of a whimper. "I want you so much."

Wanting his mind numbing kiss and heated hands back on her, she tilted his head to hers and kissed him, giving him the green light.

He lifted her then, and she instinctively wound her legs around his waist. Sliding down a bit, he cupped her ass and her center rubbed against his erection. She ground against it, suddenly having him inside her was the most important thing in the world to her.

How they managed to make it to his bedroom, Buffy wasn't sure, since their trip there was fraught with bumping into walls and passionate, breath stealing kisses. She barely felt them dropping to his bed and his weight, his delicious weight pressing her down in the bed. Her mind only had one track at that point: Yes, yes, GOD, YES.

She found his passion to be consuming. It was as if he wanted to devour her whole and she found she wanted him to.

It scared the hell out of her.

She felt so much and so intensely for a man that was not her husband, for a man she'd never harbored lustful thoughts for, and for a man that had become her confidante over the past few months that it shook her to the core.

This was why she cried when he entered her, though she begged him not to stop at his entrance into her body. Instead she clawed at his back, not wanting him to see her confusion warring with her need to be one with him.
He whispered to her, words of praise, love and adoration. Words she didn't dare let penetrate her mind. When they'd both come, screaming their release, Spike held her tightly against him, begging her to talk to him.

She rolled from him and dressed hastily, telling him how sorry she was before she fled.

A week later, Spike left Boston and moved to Rhode Island.

**************************************************************

"Go ahead, tear me up, I know you want to," she told him after they'd shut the screen doors so that Lindsey could be seen, but she could not hear them.

"Not as much as you want to tear me up. Ladies first," he smirked.

"Since when are you such a gentleman?"

"I don't know, I got you off before me didn't I?" he shot back.

"You're the one that doesn't want to live in the past, but you're the one who keeps bringing it up!"

"You can thank Angel for that, sweets. Made it right easy for us, didn't he?
Look at that, Angel's cheatin' again! Only this time, he didn't wait around for you to confront him, this time he just took off."

"And it's your fault, damn you. You brought her here. You brought her into my home and tore my family apart you bastard!" she screamed at him and lunged at him, pounding his chest with her fists. "Lindsey lost her father thanks to you!"

Spike grabbed her wrists, stopping her flailing fists. He gripped them tight in his hands. "Did she really?"

She froze, "What?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Buffy. It doesn't suit you and too much has happened between us for you to play bloody innocent. I know."

Her eyes narrowed, push him she would. "And just WHAT do you know?"

"That she is MINE," Spike bit out, dropping a wrist and pointing outside to Lindsey, oblivious to what was happening between her mother and favorite uncle.

Buffy yanked her wrist free and stepped back. "You're crazy."

"Am I? Ever do a paternity test?"

"No. I didn't need to. She. Is. Angel's."

He slammed his fist down on the counter, "Don't fucking lie to me, Buffy! I
let you lie to me for four years, I'm not letting you get away with it anymore!"

"Lie to you? I haven't lied to you—"

"Don't shit a shitter, Buffy," he said and it sounded like a warning. He took
a deep breath, closed his eyes and shook his head. She waited, taking that
time to calm herself as well. She supposed they did need the outburst of
anger, the accusations to be flown. That way, the air could clear and calmer
seas could arrive.

However, she knew this was just the beginning of many storms to come.

"You left me," he whispered. "We made love and you left me." His eyes
remained closed. "You told me you and Angel made up; that you ‘reunited'.
But I know, Buffy . . . " When he opened his eyes, they were pained. "You never wanted to know
who her real father was? For her sake? For all that you claim to love your
daughter—"

"Don't you EVER try to tell me I don't," Buffy said threateningly.

Spike sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just . . . I just need to
know."

"Why? After all this time Spike what does it matter? She was raised with
Angel as her father, you never wanted to know before –"

"That's not true. I wanted to know. I wanted to know every day, I just . . .
I couldn't bring myself to make you do it."

"And now you can?"

"It's my karmic payback, Buffy," he told her, grinning wanly.

"I thought it was all rubbish," she retorted.

"I did it for you, pet. I stayed away for you," his voice dropped to a gentle
carress. "I stayed away so that I couldn't hurt you anymore."

"You never—" she started.

"You cried while I made love to you and then you left me. Do you have any
idea what that did to me?"

She couldn't tell him the real reason why she cried, so she stayed mute.

"You wanted your precious Angel."

"He was my husband," she fought back.

"Yes, ‘was'. Past tense. That is the operative word here, right pet?"

"He's your best friend."

"Balls! I only stayed in his life for you. He lost me the minute," he shook his
head, "he lost me the minute he cheated on you. You think I cared a lick for
how HE felt after that? I only cared about sparing YOU the hurt. I didn't
CARE if he hurt at all, I want him to hurt! I want him to burn in hell for
what he did to you! For what he's done now to you. If you could just . . .
Just let him go," he finished on a whimper.

"Spike—"

He straightened, leveled her with his gaze. "So yeah, I deserve to know,
don't you think? I've been patient all this time Buffy. I've let you play house
long enough with that rat bastard and I'm DONE waiting. I'm here and I
want to claim what's mine once and for all. Angel got to do it, didn't he? He's
skipped town to God knows where, doing my ex girlfriend. And here I am
again giving you a shoulder to cry on again. Being here to pick up the pieces
that Angel left behind. But those pieces might not actually be his. They
might be mine."

Buffy looked away from him.

"I'm not going to give you a lot of time here, Buffy. So we can do this the
hard way or the easy way. You can either tell me the truth or we do a
paternity test. I'm thinking the paternity test will open the floodgates for a
whole bunch of questions from Lindsey—"

"Fine. Yes, she's yours." Buffy said, still looking away from him, her arms
crossed.

"Buffy—" he started, his tone gentle.

Her head snapped to him. "You got what you want, now leave me alone."
She marched out of the kitchen.

"I'm not done getting I want, Buffy," he told the empty kitchen.





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