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The Surrogate
By
Mercy

NC-17

HEALTH WARNING : Contains Fluffiness…studies have shown that this is an addictive substance, and people can develop dependency the more they read it.

Thanks to Kar for another edit job..luv ya sweetie…:lick:

Chapter Fifteen


Want, Need…Have


Spike paced the kitchen as thoughts flowed in and out of his mind, she still hadn’t told him why she’d gone to see the doctor, and when they’d gotten home she still flatly refused to tell him. It irked him beyond belief that she was holding something back from him, but most importantly it really hurt. She’d had a bad enough day with her stepfather on the phone without his constant nagging he supposed, yet he couldn’t help but worry about her and the baby. If she’d only bloody well tell him what the urgent problem was he’d be much happier, running a hand through his hair he decided the best thing was to confront her about it before it became a major issue.

Walking up the stairs he could hear her in their bedroom, knocking lightly he opened the door to find her foraging through her drawers, her suitcase open on the bed. The pain hit his forehead immediately as the flashback to when Lily had left and the chaos in the master bedroom which she’d left it in. Spike felt like something had penetrated his heart and felt it crumple beneath his chest. ‘Not again!’ screamed through his mind, ‘not her!’ Spike made himself walk through the door, each step so heavy it was like lead was attached to each foot. Even as he walked in she continued to pack her clothing; she even glanced questionably at him a few times.

“Spike?” Buffy asked him quietly, he looked like he was either going to collapse or be sick. “What’s wrong? Sit down.” She moved the suitcase down onto the floor and literally dragged him down onto the bed. “Are you alright?”

“Why?” the whisper carried across the room.

“Why what?”

“You’re leaving…me.”

“Huh?” Buffy’s eyebrows pushed together as she finally understood his question, the drawers too her dresser open and the suitcase. “You know, Spike, sometimes you take the cake!”

“Just tell me why?” his voice becoming angry with hurt and pain.

“Again, Spike, huh?” Buffy shook her head in disbelief. “I’m putting away the clothes that don’t fit me! Hello, pregnant woman! Still expanding at an expediential rate!”

He just sat there on the bed his hands covering his face; he was so emotionally wired that he just couldn’t do anything else. She’d lead him on a merry dance today, and this had been the last straw; the secrets and now he thought even though he was wrong that she was leaving. It had been one fucking horrible thing after another, and he just couldn’t stand it anymore, even though she was just doing the simplest of tasks of packing the clothes that no longer fit her.

“Bloody hell, girl! Thought that you where packing to leave. I come in and your packing your clothes into a suitcase, you’ve been secretive all fucking day! What am I supposed to think?” He was really getting angry with her as his face tightened accentuating his sharp cheekbones and elongated his face. “I thought that we’d worked through things Buffy, especially the no secrets thing! That was my fuck up and one that I don’t want to go through again!”

“Hey don’t you think I know that, Spike?” Buffy moved over too him and put her hand on his shoulder as she quietly spoke with reassured tones. “I’m not hiding anything from you and I’m not leaving, okay,” Buffy kicked the suitcase that sat near her feet. “It’s the only thing that I could find to fit all my stuff into, nothing seems to want to fit anymore. I’m getting so fat!”

“You’re not fat, you’re pregnant!”

“Says everyman to his...his...” Buffy really couldn’t finish of the sentence, she’d never really pondered what exactly she was and it perfectly moved the conversation away from him thinking she was leaving. Yet still was she girlfriend? Partner? Friend and Partner? “Anyway that’s what you guys always say too make us feel better!”

“Bollocks! My girls’ pregnant with our child and what else am I gonna think!” He put a hand over her abdomen rubbing the soft fabric that lay between her and her skin. “To me you’re the most attractive woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, especially now with my child inside you.”

“Attractive?” Buffy looked away with her guilty secret making it impossible for her to look at him.

“Yeah, Luv!” Spike pulled himself onto the bed, moving Buffy with him so she lay on her back and himself on his side right next to her. Running a hand down her face, he smoothed the flesh of her neck and left arm as he leaned over her with the tips of his fingers. Not missing the goose bumping of her flesh, he repeated the motion on her arms as he sighed and watched her reaction. “I can’t help but think about you, hard not too when you’re lying down next to me in our bed, or snuggling into me, Luv! Surprised that you haven’t noticed the obvious!”

Despite his words she had felt the obvious most mornings that he hadn’t gotten up before her, she usually escaped using the excuse of the need to go to the loo as an excuse to ignore the obvious. Or Spike would leave the bed hurriedly before she woke up, but there had been morning where she just wanted to stay in their cocoon of warmth and ignore the ‘obvious’. That was not to say there hadn’t been occasions that she hadn’t felt the gentle rocking motions from him as he kneaded her thigh as he moved the ‘obvious’ against her, in his half asleep state.

“Don’t even think that I don’t fantasise about you, Buffy. Here in our bed, naked with me between your legs and you screaming out my name as you come. That I don’t see you riding me, beautiful and lush with your pregnancy, knowing that I just want to be inside you!” He leaned into her, grasping her jaw with the hand that had caressed her arm, with slow soft ‘just there’ kisses he brushed his lips along her own. “Or that I can’t wait until the baby’s born and I can finally have you! Buffy that’s my fantasy, you and me!”

She was a little taken aback by his admission, not that it surprised her, it wasn’t the first time that he’d said that he wanted to make love with her. But the raw energy that was oozing from him was captivating, she could feel her response course through her veins, and the need to experience that raw energy became infective. Every previous thought that she’d had about this moment flooded through her mind, every doubt and insecurity pasted through her consciousness, but the main thing that she worried about was that she did it for the right reasons.

When she’d gotten home from the doctors, she realised that she’d gone for the main reason of asking about could she be with Spike intimately and got her answers. But her reasoning behind needing to know was bothering her immensely, Buffy thought about the objective in setting out on such a course. The phone call in the morning had shown her parents clear rejection of her, and she’d felt so alone, even though she knew she had two people that loved her she still felt the abandonment of her folks hurt her deeply. She supposed that she wanted to experience a closeness to Spike like she’d had before and she craved to be so close that it obliterate everything else in the world.

She knew that this decision had to be based on one thing and one thing alone. Love. She’d never denied her true feelings for him, but had never let them come so close to the surface like this. She could truthfully admit it to herself and finally to him that she was truly in love with him, and totally commitment to him. They both had been through trials and ordeals that no couple should face, and they were the most unlikely two that karma had brought together. Yet they gotten through each hurdle, obstacle and hindrance that karma threw their way. It was so obvious that they were meant to come together, but still this had to be for the right reason for Buffy. Her desire and want of him was undeniable, but it would be the final surrender of herself to him and the final piece of her heart. So she made her decision….

Buffy lifted her hand and grasped his face between her own, as he continued with his gentle kisses, opening her mouth she nipped his top lip with her teeth and pulled softly. Gently soothing the top of his lip with her tongue, responding to her invitation he darted his own out to meet hers. Sliding his lips over her own; he slid into her mouth, gliding over her teeth, and stroking her soft palate until the two meet, darting around each other as the kiss deepened to a deeper passion. Neither sought dominance over the other just the gentle caress that they offered each other, not demanding, just seeking each other in this moment.

She slid her hand down his shirt, pulling on the fabric trying to bring him closer too her, crumpling the fabric beneath her hand. She kept moving down until she reached his belt buckle, instantly she felt him trying to pull away from her mouth, as she tightened her grip on his face, and Buffy wasn’t willing to let go. Doubling the tension she had on his belt, she pulled him even harder against her making sure that she didn’t put too much pressure on her abdomen. Clumsily she tried to undo the belt with one hand, Spike reacted by breaking his hand away from her face and putting it over her hand, halting her attempts to undo his buckle.

“Buffy?” his face full of question and concern, yet laced with need, lust and passion. She relaxed her hand in his grasp, as he held it still, feeling her let go of the buckle he let go of her hand and she responded by flattening her palm against his trousers and slid her hand further down. Taking his erection deftly into her hands, she gentle squeezed and massaged the straining flesh against her hand. She watched as he just for a moment stopped breathing and tightly closed his eyes, allowing himself to have a moment of pleasure form her. “Please, Luv!?!”

Buffy didn’t know if it was a half strangled cry for her to stop or keep going, she could feel his erection gain length and width from her touch. His pants strained against the hard flesh, creating more friction that she used to her advantage as she moved along it with her nails. He seemed to go slack as his hand let hers go as she continued to touch him, with a single finger she traced the length of him, until she reached his belt again, tracing the leather, she pulled the end out of the trouser loops and pulled it up against the buckle until it gave way and loosened itself. Lifting the leather apart, she undid the button and slid the zipper down, letting his straining cock out of the confines of his pants.

She could hear her own strained jagged breath, as she tried to control her shaking hand as she took him within her grasp. He gently pushed himself towards her in response to her tightening her grip on his straining flesh; his eyes closed in pleasure and his head threw itself back as the rest of his face went taunt, making his face become more angular. His hand came to grasp the baggy sweatpants that she now wore; she could feel the pull of his hand over her hip as he gathered the fabric in his palm. Blindly he pulled even tighter as she slowly drew her hand up and down his cock, light caress to the burning flesh.

She watched as his mouth gape open as he ran his mouth along his teeth until it curled along his soft palate, his eyes still closed it was like he was in his own world. Encouraged by his sharp intakes of needed oxygen, Buffy gentle trailed a nail along one of the protruding veins along his cock. Feeling hampered by her pregnancy, she let him go as she lifted herself up on her elbow and started to shimmy down the bed. Yet for Spike this break in the constant rhythmic stokes on his flesh broke his hazy mind and brought him back to reality with a thud.

Remembering her words just a few days ago about not being sure if she could, or yet even louder if she would despite wanting him. He pulled himself away from her body, and sat himself on the side of the bed with a very surprised Buffy dragging herself up behind him. Misunderstanding his intensions, Buffy pulled herself up until she sat on her knees with her front grazing into his back. Running her hands along his arms until she reached his shoulders and then the collar of his shirt, she unsnapped the first three buttons until Spike put a hand over hers, ceasing her movements.

“Buffy, what are you trying to do to me, Luv?” Spike voiced was gravely, loaded with desire and frustration. “Please sweetheart stop! I can’t…I want…” he quickly pulled her hands away from his shirt, and tried to rise from the bed as her hands formed a large band around his chest. “Please, Luv! I don’t think I could stop myself even if you wanted me to,” Spike turned himself on the bed slightly so that she could see his frustration shine in his eyes. “God, I want you!”

“I want to,” her words where quiet and barely audible. “I want you!” Buffy grabbed the fabric of his shirt on either side the best she could, even though it was more under his armpits, and pulled with all the might she had. With a high-pitched rip, the buttons flew across the room landing in every direction, bouncing off the furniture and carpet. Tugging the shirt out of his trousers, she slid it down his arms as he sat so still and yet the muscle quivered under her hand as she ran it over them. He didn’t move one inch, too frightened that he would just slam her down onto the mattress and fuck her senseless, like he’d wanted to the last three-four months.

He remembered the first stirrings of lust and desire he had for her, as that same rage pulsed through his body; he had to calm down, try to concentrate as her hand dipped around his waist to his cock once more. Capturing the head of his penis between her thumb and forefinger, she circumnavigated her thumb around the soft but firm ridge of the flesh she held. Buffy continued to compel him towards insanity as she nipped at his shoulder with her teeth, biting tenderly at times and soothing the skin with slow licks of her tongue.

“Baby, please don’t tease me!” Spike moaned out against the gritting of his teeth as he struggled for control. But she continued to agonisingly do just that, with a few flicks of her thumb against the sensitive head, he lifted his hips of the bed in response, making her lose hold of his cock. Taking advantage, she whipped herself onto her haunches and ripped her own top off, throwing it to the floor followed by her bra. Spike leapt from the bed as he watched her remove her top, and he turned he was faced with a semi naked Buffy; his mouth gapped open as he gawked at her lush breast and hardened nipples. “Buffy! Fuck! Sweetheart, please, you’re killing me here!”

Buffy watched as he struggled to hold his pants together through his raging erection, she almost laughed as he tried to zip his pants back up, his face was still contorted somewhere between pleasure and pain. Buffy took further liberties as he stumbled through this new situation; she slid her sweatpants and panties down her legs, leaving herself in all her naked glory. Spike looked like his eyes where going to pop out of his head as his gaze travelled up and down her naked form, especially on her abdomen which made Buffy feel insecure. Unsure of herself she started to pull the coverlet over her body, Spike quickly reacted to her attempt to cover up, nearly tripping over his pants as he grabbed the coverlet and pulled it away from her body.

“Don’t you dare cover yourself up again! I want to look at you!” Spike spoke with a hint of authority in his voice. “You’ve opened Pandora’s Box now, Buffy!” He sat his leg on the bed, as he guided Buffy to lie down on the bed on her back, making her as comfortable as possible. Not happy at being so intently gazed at, she revolted against him and pulled him down against herself, pushing with all her might at his waistband, trying to get his pants off. “Once their off, Buffy, they stay off!”

“I…I…we…” Buffy stumbled though her words, she’d thought about the moment that she’d give herself to him for along time, and it was never meant to be like this. Never meant to be awkward. She felt like a teenager again with no sexual intuition or initiative, just fumbling around and embarrassment. “I want you to take them off!”

“Tell me what you want me to do to you, Goldilocks,” he could feel her hesitation and awkwardness. “Snuggle?” Spike pushed his trousers off, and kicked them until they hit the floor, sliding himself up against her body until he rested on his side, face to face with her. Taking her face in his hand he gently kissed her with such sereneness, “Kiss?” He intensified the kiss as he sliced through her lips with his tongue as he explored the moist flesh he found. For a few minutes they kissed with a deep passion that they’d only experienced a few times with each other, it was deeply sexual and burned with such a deep intensity that she felt like her nerve ending were on fire.

He let go off one side of her head, and trailed it down her throat until it came to her breast, which he softly weighed and manipulated it in his hand. Tugging at her nipple, he pulled away for just a second as he quickly slipped down and licked the nipple before returning to her lips. “Or I could make you come so hard that all you’d think about was oblivion and us as you scream out my name.” He heard her sharp intake of breath the moment he mentioned him making her come, taking it as a cue he dipped him hand further down until it came to her pubic bone.

With one single digit, he slid it into the wet folds of her flesh; she was already moist from his arousing words and touch, using the moisture that he found he pushed in further as he used his other hand to push her knees apart. Instinctually she lifted her legs and spread them apart without even thinking about it, giving him greater access to her body. Taking advantage off it he slid another finger in with the other, as he traced the gentle curve of her body. Up and down in slow strokes, from the tip of her clit just to the bottom of her vaginal opening, sometimes teasing her by beginning to stroke her clit in a circular motion and then going back to his slow long strokes of her body.

“Can I do this to you, Buffy?” Spike asked despite the fact that he already was, he watched as Buffy could only nod her head. “Can I touch you, my love?” Spike caressed the entry to her vagina with a single finger, gently grazing the tip of the wet flesh with soft strokes. Buffy nodded her head again, as he slide the whole finger inside her, unhurriedly he glided it across her wet centre, exploring the flesh that he came across with slow controlled strokes against her aching walls. Already he could feel them clamping down on his invading hand, he caressed every inch of her walls until he found his target as he curled his fingers to tease and tantalise her g-spot. He watched as she grabbed onto the sheet that she laid on, her hand pulling and squeezing the fabric as her pleasure intensified into a pulsating rhythm created by his hand.

“More...please, Spike...more?” Buffy whimpered her desire to him. “It’s alright,” came out in such a hushed tone, “we can make love.” Buffy looked away from his inquisitive look that he gave her, to were his hand lay on her body covering it with her own, she pleaded with him, “please!”

“Make love, Buffy?” he asked as he still held his hand firm despite her pleading and nudging of his hand by her. “What are you saying?”

“That we can make love...I mean that we can have sex,” Buffy nearly choked on her words. “That’s why I went to see Dr. Singer. He said if we’re gentle and if I’m on…”

“Love or sex, Buffy, which is it?” Spike pulled himself suddenly back up the bed. “No let me rephrase that! Are we having sex, Buffy, or are we making love? As in ‘I love you and you love me’?” The need to hear the words from her shone in desperation on his face, it was want he wanted what he craved from her the most.

“Both.”

“Buffy, please, Luv, just say it! Don’t torture me anymore! Say it!” Spike kissed her with such desperation and destitution that he oozed it, she could feel it penetrate her every pore. “Please, Luv, let me hear you say it!”

Buffy watched the light in his eyes change constantly from pure love to desperation and fear, fear that she couldn’t say the words or wouldn’t. That one moment in time he dreaded was repeating itself, remembering the last time he tried to tell her that he loved her and her ardent refusal to hear his words. He so desperately needed to hear it from her. Buffy could feel the surge in his desperation to hear the words, but just saying them wasn’t enough she so wanted to both show and say it too him. So she took charge of the situation.

Pushing him onto his back, she forced him to lie under her gaze as she sat on her heels looking at his prone body. Buffy smiled at him reassuringly as she lent in over him, kissing his face, and finally with gentle strokes of her touch she coaxed his mouth open. His mouth quivered under her own as he struggled with his control, she teased and taunted his tongue with her own as they tempted each other with passion and fire. In a quick bold move, Buffy hoisted herself over his stomach until she sat straddled over his abdomen.

Spike instantly reacted by placing his hands over her hips, trying to get her to hold still which she refused. Grabbing his hands she slid them up over her abdomen until they reached her breast; with his hands covering her hard nipples, she let him massage the firm flesh between his fingers. He watched as her face contorted with bliss and pleasure from what he was doing to her, but still it wasn’t enough for her and not what she wanted to show him.

Letting go of one of his hands she shimmered further down his narrow hips, enough to lift herself up and pull his straining erection forward towards her wet flesh. Grasping the head she slowly lowered herself onto him, careful of her centre of gravity as to not topple over and frighten the man that lay beneath her. She watched as his face as it went pale and his eyes widened in astonishment as he watched his cock being swallowed by her scorching flesh. He was totally dumbfounded; this was the last thing that he expected from her, Buffy gently rocked herself setting a sure and strong shallow rhythm, creating excruciating delicious pressure on his cock, causing his pleasure to proliferate.

Spike watched as Buffy face expressed her own pleasure, and her release of little ‘nawh’ as she gyrated downwards with her hips, her eyes never leaving his as she moved upon him. Finally, Spike couldn’t stand the pressure anymore, as he grasped her hips and applied a little pressure encouraging her to take him deeper. “Please, Luv, deeper!” he watched as she became mesmerized by his words, “Take me deeper, Luv, I want to feel that wet flesh of yours squeeze me!” Spike watched as Buffy’s face became a lovely crimson colour, he could feel her slight embarrassment. “God you’re so fucking wet…that’s it, Luv, deeper…more…fuck…so beautiful!” He slid a hand up and over her abdomen, pushing her slightly on the hip he motioned for her to stop when he was fully seated within her; he looked at her with sure an intense gaze that it shocked her.

“Spike?” Buffy asked her voice broken and laden with pleasure.

Spike took a deep breath in and continued to stroke her abdomen, his eyes moved from her face to her breast to her abdomen and finally where he lay within her. It was like all time froze as he continued to just look and touch her. He didn’t attempt to thrust deeper into her, or encourage her to start moving again. Buffy titled her head to the side questioning to him, she watched as a single tear came to his eye and slide down his face as he finally spoke. “This is how he or she should have been made Buffy, with me here inside you, surrounded by you….” He stopped speaking unable to finish, so she did it for him.

“And made with love, William,” hearing her nearly made him jump out of his skin, Buffy only called him by his birth name when it was really serious. Spikes grip loosed on her hip as she began rocking gently above him, backwards and forwards, creating such a delicious friction between the two of them. Spike ran his hands along her body until they grasped her buttocks, giving her support as she rode him; he could see that she was beginning to tire as her legs began at times to buckle from under her. She finally spoke with her words causing them to spiral into such a blissful plane, that he had to grit his teeth as he nearly orgasmed and he nearly lost all consciousness as she said them. “I love you, Spike! I love you…”

He responded by sliding his hand back down her stomach until it came to lay on her clit, with quick and circular strokes, he felt her internal muscles tighten and flutter around his cock, and a flood of moisture being released from her body. With each contraction, he experienced from her brought him closer to orgasm and a step closer to nirvana.

“My girl loves me?” Spike asked her again as she increased the length and depth of her gyrations against him.

“Yes…oh god! Yes…I…” Buffy felt her orgasm approach, “love…you!” She spoke with each stroke of her body above his. “Spike! I want…”

“I know, Buffy…come, Luv…let me feel you flutter your pretty muscles against me,” Spike gently thrust himself against her. “Buffy…sweetheart….I need to say it, but…”

“Oh my god….” Buffy just heard his words, but she responded to his call, “Tell me.” At the same time Spike flicked her across the clit with the right pressure and angle that he sent her into her orgasm. He watched her as her emotions played across her face as she came, but lost in her haze she refocused to watch him as he felt himself spiral up behind her. She could feel the hard flesh of his cock as she slid herself along its length as her muscles constricted themselves. The pressure that the friction created, she felt so full that nothing else would ever fill her again, creating a hunger that demeaned satisfying. Not lost on her awareness of him he said the words he’d been dying so long to say….

“I love you.”

Buffy watched as he arched himself deeper inside her with such a slow thrust that it was pure agony; she knew that he was being careful with her, treating her like a fragile creature. She could only imagine what fire would burn between them when the baby had been born and he would she was sure unleash his total passion onto her. It was intoxicating and mesmerising, just as much as she watched his face contort as he came, his face and body strained against her own and her name passing quietly against his lips as he came down from his slice of heaven.

Spike finally opened his eyes looking at the woman that still straddled him; the satisfaction lay written all over her face. “Snuggle?” he swerved himself sideways the best he could as she playfully smacked him on the chest, “Umm no snuggle.” Buffy reacted by hitting him again and lifted herself away from his body, and settle herself as comfortably as she could on her side beside him. “Comfortable, Goldilocks?”

“Hmmm, very thank you.”

“Didn’t hurt you, Luv?” Spike asked her. “Was it alright, not to rough?”

“No it was…was just perfect.” Buffy gently kissed her lover as she lay in his arms. “It was pure bliss, and if I wasn’t so tired…”

“Sleep, Luv,” Spike pulled the coverlet that lay on his side of the bed over them, as he finished he kissed her in one final devastating passionate kiss. “Never feel that I don’t want you pregnant or not! I know that this probably wasn’t 100% comfortable for you, but once the baby's born…”

“Stupid man! Go to sleep!” Buffy tried not to laugh at him. “It was fine! It wasn’t uncomfortable for me this time, but maybe as time gets closer to the birth…”

“When will that be?” greedily he looked at her, as he slipped his hand down her thigh.
“I hoped we could do this again soon…”

Buffy looked away in disbelief, like he’d said maybe she’d opened Pandora’s Box, but at least she totally ached with satisfaction. “Well maybe you could go and ask Dr. Singer this time for permission. I mean I don’t know if we can again or how long we can since you rudely interrupted the consultation. You’ll just have to ring and make an appointment tomorrow!” She tried not to smirk at him.

“I will first thing tomorrow...what we can’t without Singer’s permission! But…we…we just!” Spike swallowed hard as he digested what Buffy just told him. “What every time we want to make love?”

“Yep,” Buffy struggled even harder not to laugh at him, it was sweet revenge! “Every time.”

“Love, we’d need an open appointment with the man and his home phone number…hey!” Buffy finally broke down into tears and laughter at his total acceptance of her word. “You’re kidding me, right?” With that Buffy rolled over to her nightstand, pulled out a draw and removed the pamphlet that Dr. Singer had given her the day before. Spike grabbed it from her and flicked through it, “Hmm you on top or on your knees…hmm finally I have you on your knees…” He stopped as Buffy grabbed the pillow and hit him over the head with it.

“No, mister, I’ll have you on your knees!”

“You already do, Luv! You always have!”





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