~~~Chapter Six~~~


~~Baby Pictures~~


Six weeks had passed since Buffy had made her allegiance with him, she still had yet to hear from Lily. Not one word. Not one line. Total silence. This only served to give Buffy more strength to believe, that she’d made the right choice about Spike. He was everything that he promised he would be, and more. Spike was so protective of her, that sometimes she just wanted to punch him in the nose. He’d make sure that she didn’t carry anything too heavy, run to the store when she had 3am cravings, and hold her when she cried during silly sad commercials. She didn’t really mind when she cried from the hormones, actually she found it quite soothing, and would sometimes continue to fake it, just to keep him holding her. She knew that it was a mean thing to do, but she loved to feel some human comfort, even if just for a while.

It gave Spike a warm fuzzy feeling to be at someone’s disposal, especially somebody that had become such a good friend, over the last few months. He’d seen Buffy’s fragile side, a woman he’d always considered an extremely strong person. Buffy, in all the time he’d known her, had never backed away from anything. So he knew when she’d accepted his hand, she’d given some of herself over to him in trusting surrender, just as he had to her. He’d given her back the rights to her child, and in return given her some power over him. To meet her in the common ground, in which they now found themselves.

He didn’t mind that this meant carrying every damn heavy object that Buffy came into contact with, answering her call at 3am to get that whatever the craving of the night was, and he really didn’t mind just gently holding her when she cried at the television. Sometimes he would just put his arm around her shoulder and let her cry it out, and other times he would pull her to lay with her back on his chest, as they sat on the sofa. He would grab one of his forever available tissues, and hand it to her, sometimes wiping the tears away himself. This act had given him a closeness to her that was totally unexpected, sometimes he would just close his eyes imagining that…

He would always stop himself, too frightened to go there, too frightened to see where his imagination would take him. Yet this never stopped his curiosity getting the better of him one night, as Buffy began her tears, he gathered her up into the sofa, resting one hand on the arm and the other around her shoulder. Spike looked down at a teary Buffy, sitting in her yoga pants and t-shirt. They’d become the most comfortable thing she owned, she began showing her pregnancy. He could see the slight bulge of her pregnancy through her clothes. To him she looked bloody gorgeous in sackcloth at the present moment.

“Buffy?”


“I’m sorry Spike, I can’t help it!”


“It’s not that luv. Can I ask you something? You can say no.”


“To what?”


“Can……can I feel the baby?”


“No Spike, I can’t feel the baby yet.”



“No, I mean can I feel the baby?”


Buffy laughed through her tears, she hadn’t really understood what on earth he was talking about, until she felt the slow and deliberate movent of his hand from the sofa, as it came to land softly over her abdomen. Taking a sudden deep breath, she pulled her head back to see his gaze stuck onto her stomach, finally it dawned on her what he meant! She placed her own hand over his and allowed him to feel her ‘bump’, as she called it, knowing it would probably mean a lot to him. She pulled up her t-shirt slightly, and let their joined hands search the raised abdomen. Buffy could hear and feel Spike’s surprise at the turn of events, his hand glided over her warm flesh and the life that lay below it, the sharp intake of breath, and slight tremble in his hand gave him away. They just lay there together in a quiet moment, enjoying the feeling of tranquillity that flowed through and around them.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Buffy made her way around the kitchen making herself breakfast the next day, Spike sat at the breakfast nook on a stool, with a scowl on his face looking over a package that had been delivered the day before. One that he’d deliberately ignored, not wanting to deal with the contents yesterday, his day at the office had been busy enough. It was a rather large package from Lily’s lawyers’; he guessed that further demand documents and hopefully the waver to the surrogacy contract were in it.


Buffy watched him, as he tore the package open and pulled out its contents onto the counter top, it seemed to contain numerous legal papers. Which didn’t surprise her, but what caught her eye was the single letter that fell from the documents. It was yellow, the exact colour that Lily favoured, before she could react, Spike picked up the letter and read the front. Letting out a loud sigh, he turned towards her and put out his hand with the letter in it. Looking at the worried expression that covered his face, she took the letter from him, turning it over she saw it was addressed to her, in Lily’s hand writing.


Unsure what to do, she just stood for a moment, not certain whether to open the letter in front of him, or seek the sanctuary of the living room. Spike went back to the papers in front of him, averting his attention to his divorce papers. Taking this as a cue she walked into the living room and sat down. It was rather ironic to receive this letter today of all days, especially as it was the day that she’d have her first ultrasound scan of the baby. They’d decided to put the scan off as much as they could, as Buffy had promised Spike she would have the newer 3-D image scan of the baby, so they could get a better image/model of the life that lay within her.


Sitting for what seemed an eternity, Buffy finally opened the letter with a slight shake in her hand. She’d dreaded any type of communication with her sister now, especially since she’d made some kind of ties with Spike, she just didn’t really want to know anything anymore that was related to her sister. Buffy wanted things to stay like they were now. She felt cared for and protected, something her sister could destroy with a single stroke of a pen.


Opening the letter, she read…


Buffy,
I got the ‘happy news’ message from my legal people, and I suppose that means you are pregnant, and with the message coming via Spike, I guess you’ve decided to keep it. I must say the giveaway was the ‘Waiver of Parental Rights’. I haven’t signed it Buffy, I’m sorry but my lawyer tells me not to, so I won’t until he says. Please don’t think I’m being a bitch, but I’m doing it on his say so.

I know that I never called like I said I would, but it was on my lawyer’s orders once again, and maybe I might have made that decision anyway. I suppose that it’s probably obvious that I have left with Liam, and moved back to England, and here I will stay. Grandmother has let me stay in her London townhouse, so at least I have a roof over my head. Life has been hard for the last few months, trying to find a job, and as you can guess deciding to go through with the divorce.

I’m sorry that you are caught in the middle Buffy, but it’s the way it has to be. I deserve something in this divorce, and it might just get ugly. If I know Spike right he’ll try and butter you up, say all the right words, do all the right things, but there is always a motive to what he does. I know that I look like the bitch now but just be careful Buffy, he’ll manipulate you, and do anything to get what he wants. He can be a monster sometimes, so tread carefully or you could lose everything.


All I can really suggest Buffy, is that you get independent counsel, and stay low for a little while until this divorce is over. I can suggest the firm I’m using, they seem able in their job, maybe they might give us a family discount.


Love Always

Lily



Buffy sat and contemplated the contents of the letter, she ran the last few months through her mind. It was clear to her that Lily intended to use the surrogate contract against Spike, to get what she wanted. She’d hold it over his head until she got just that, everything. It hurt that she intended to use it against him in their divorce, and that Buffy was being used in Lily’s grab for cash. Buffy understood the message about how Spike would use all his charm, and everything at his disposal to get what he wanted, especially the baby. Lily had made that abundantly clear.


She didn’t want to believe that everything he’d done over the last few months, had been done with a motive behind it. Spike did want to play an active part in the life of her child, and he’d demonstrated in her eyes that he could be trusted. Yet with Lily she wasn’t so sure, Buffy was seeing a side to her sister that she never knew existed. She would have thought that Lily would have just signed the waiver, allowing Buffy to take control of the situation with the baby. Lily had made it so clear that she didn’t want the baby, but was willing to use it as a tool to get what she wanted. Keeping that in mind, she walked back into the kitchen and handed the letter over to Spike.


Quickly Spike read the letter and handed it back to Buffy, shaking his head, he went back to reading the documents in front of him, not uttering a single syllable. Glancing at the paperwork, she could see the lawyer’s letter of her demands, and it would appear that she wanted a lot for her to grant him a divorce. It angered Buffy, that Lily would use her own sister in her battle for ownership of their combined belongings; she knew that Spike had brought a lot of it into the marriage. With that anger deeply embedded into her brain, she thrust the letter back in front of him, and dropped it before him.


“Take it!”


“Buffy, do you understand what you’re doing?”


“I’m fighting for what belongs to me! She isn’t going to take my child, or use it as a pawn in this divorce case. This should be between you and her!!! She’s decided to make it personal!” Buffy was seething, “You promised to protect us from anything! So do it!”



“So you’ll let me act on your behalf, with anything concerning the baby?”


“Yes!”


“Buffy…...could I use the letter…...if…..” Spike asked her again, like he had a few weeks earlier, with Lily’s initial letter, “Buffy the sooner I can untangle myself from this marriage, the more strength it will give us in the parental rights matter. We need to show everyone that we’re together in this, in every way we can.”


“I know Spike.” Buffy sighed heavily, “Do what you have to do! Just don’t drag it out.”


“Buffy, I don’t want this to drag out either.”


Buffy remained silent as Spike picked up the letter and tucked it into his coat pocket, looking at his watch he noted that they still had a few hours until their appointment at the Medical Imaging Centre. He could feel the tension coming off Buffy in ripples, flooding the area around her, knowing that this was not good for her, or the child, he decided to do something about it. Standing up, he packed his briefcase with the documents, then turning to her, he took her hand before leading her to the back door. He locked the door behind him and led her to the garage and the Jeep within. In silence, he opened the passenger door for her, and moved around to the drivers, opening and sitting himself behind the wheel. Buffy still stood outside the passenger door, astonished at being left on the passenger side, considering it was her car.


“Get in.” The request was quick and to the point.

Buffy did as he asked. Sitting herself down in the seat she fastened her seat belt, as he gunned the engine into life. Pulling out, he turned towards the main street that led to Sunnydale City Centre. They travelled along the road for a good ten minutes, before Spike pulled over at the local shopping centre. Pulling into a car space close to the entry, he got out and moved around to the passenger side

“What are we doing here?”


“What do you think luv?” Spike smiled at her, “Isn’t it a favourite female past-time to shop?”


“For what?”


“Hello, dad here!! What else, but for the baby!” Spike smirked at her, “Buffy the little one will be here before you know it, and you don’t have a thing!”


“Yeah, but….”


“No buts Buffy! Our kid needs a bed, clothes, toys, and nappies!”


Taking her hand, Spike led her into the complex, straight into a boutique baby store, and into the furniture department, stopping short in front of the cot displays. Buffy looked around herself surrounded by all the displays, not sure what to do or say. Spike moved slowly around the furniture, pulling cot sides up and down, looking at the craftsmanship of each, she noted not once did he look at the price tags discreetly attached. Buffy on the other hand, picked up one from the cot that stood directly before her, and felt dread come over her, as she looked at the price for the cot alone. Realising that there was no way she could ever afford this one, or any other one for that matter in this store.


She moved over to Spike, who now was looking more closely at what appeared to be an antique looking framed cot, something straight out of a magazine, with its patchwork quilt set, and beautiful mobile. The final addition was a coloured mosquito net that draped from the head of the cot. It was something that she would have loved herself, if she could only have afforded it. Lightly she tugged on his sleeve, trying discreetly to gain his attention away from his looking over the cot.


“Buffy what do you think?”


“It’s beautiful, but…..”


“Then what do you say we take it?” Spike cut her off, as he watched her look awkwardly around, “Or do you like another one?”


“No, that’s not it,” Buffy quietly replied, “Spike there is no way I can afford this stuff! This cot costs what I make in three months!”


“Are you politely saying you don’t like it?”


“No, you idiot! I’m saying I cannot afford it!” Buffy felt belittled by her predicament, it was fine for him to choose what ever he wanted, but she still had to live within her means.


“Buffy, I’m not asking you to pay for it!” he quietly replied, trying to keep his voice down, “I’m sorry if I didn’t make myself clear, but this is my contribution to the baby’s things. Well one of them anyway.”


“One of them?”


“Buffy, please don’t argue with me! This is at least something I can do to make things a little easier for you. If we do this now, then we don’t have to worry about it later!”


Buffy let his words sink into her mind, she didn’t want him to spend so much on something, that the baby would only need for a few years anyway. Yet as she looked at the cot more, she really began to fall in love with it, and with a little hesitation, she gave in. Picking up the netting that lay on the side bar of the cot, she could imagine the little person that would sleep within it, surrounded by the beauty of the thing that he/she slept in. Spike smile turned into a smirk, as he watched her features soften on her face as she gave into his want to buy it for her. Moving to the other side of the cot, he leaned over picking up the quilt. He was about to ask her something when the sales assistant came over.


“Hello. Can I help you with anything?”


“Ummm well, we’re just discussing things,” Buffy replied to her first.


“We we’re just talking about sheet sets, and things?” Spike laid the quilt back where he found it.


“Well would you like to see our exclusive range? I am sure that you’ll find something that you both like for the baby. We sell everything in matching sets, from the pillow cases, bumpers and window curtains.”

The woman became totally animated in her delivery of her sales pitch, as she was surely mentally calculating her commission from this sale, “When is your baby due?”


“In about five months,” Spike answered the woman.


“Are you just now looking for the baby?” Her look of shock astounded both of them, Buffy quizzically looked at the woman and Spike was just amused, “What about a pram, portable cot, baby seat or two for the cars, change table, high chair, baby bath, baby linen and clothing?”


Buffy opened her eyes wide at the list that the woman was spurting out her mouth, she hadn’t really thought about all the things that the baby needed. She knew that it was a sales tactic by the woman, but it was a damn good one to get people to part with more of their money.


‘Ahh, no we haven’t,” Spike looked around the store, mentally calculating what they needed, and it seemed a good idea just to tell the woman to ring up the entire store as a sale, and pack it for delivery, “Does the cot come with other furniture?”


The sales woman turned around and pointed to a change table, cupboard and side table, which she quickly demonstrated to them, showing all the mod cons hidden in the old style furniture. She then navigated them through the store, showing them two prams, baby seats, cot sets and clothing, that would probably cost the earth. By the end of a few hours, she’d given up any thought of buying the things herself, if Spike wanted to spend his money, well then she’d let him! She kind of had a naughty thrill knowing that he was paying way too much for the stuff, but it was his prerogative and she’d have the most beautiful nursery when they were finished. Then so be it, let him pay for it!


The sales woman guided them back to the register and arranged for the ringing up of the sale, taking the credit card that Spike offered her. She even threw in a few other gifts of toys for the baby, considering the small fortune that Spike had just spent in the store. Buffy ran her hand over a soft plush teddy bear, with large sad eyes, and moveable joints, a single tear ran down her face. Spike turned and watched as Buffy’s tear slid down. With his thumb, he wiped it away from her cheek, then taking her hand he pulled her away from the counter, and with the other picked up the bag with the toys in it.


“Thank you for shopping with us Mr and Mrs Freemantle,” The woman behind the counter spoke up as they began to depart, “I hope that you have a safe delivery, and have a wonderful time with your newborn. If we can help you with anything else, please don’t hesitate to come back and ask for me.”


Buffy’s mouth hit the floor, as she struggled in trying to answer the woman, to correct her about her assumption of them being married. Spike pulled her hand a little harder, as he walked out of the store with a ‘thank you’, dragging a dumbfounded Buffy behind him. He turned and looked at her as he tilted his head, silently begging her not to reply, and engage in any more conversation with the annoying sales woman. He lifted his other hand, showing her the time, indicating that they needed to get to their appointment. With a silent nod from her, she complied with his wish, and they made their way back to the car, to go see their baby via the wonders of modern technology.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Reaching the medical centre just in time for their appointment, they were quickly ushered into the sonography room. A young woman waited for them as she cleaned the examination bed and made it with fresh linen.


“Mrs Summers?”


“Yes,” Spike answered her, before Buffy could, as she watched him stare at the all the contraptions in the room. Buffy guessed that he wasn’t really paying much attention to the sonographer just yet, so hadn’t really heard what she had said.


“Mrs Summers, behind the curtain you’ll find a gown, you can leave your underwear on, thanks. Just come back out when you’re ready,” She gestured to Spike to take the vacant seat at the side of the exam table, next to one of the many screens that filled the room.


Buffy did as she was asked, moving quickly she placed on the white cotton gown, and with a slight hesitation she moved the curtain aside. Spike turned his head to see her, she seemed a little embarrassed to be seen so bare in front of him. With an encouraging smile, he patted the examination bed that he sat next to with his hand, and with a slight nod of her head she made her way to the bed and sat on the side, waiting for more instructions from the sonographer. The woman in question picked up a sheet from the linen trolley, and asked Buffy to lay down on the bed, taking the sheet, she covered her patient’s lower body.


“Okay Buffy, let me introduce myself. I’m Megan, and obviously the sonographer, which means I’ll be taking baby’s first picture,” Megan laughed, “I’m going to be putting a cold gel like substance on your abdomen, then I’ll be using this wand like thing with a flat edge to be take the scan, and voila we’ll see the baby!”


“Okay,” Buffy quietly responded.


“First I’ll take the standard 2-D scan, and then later I’ll take the 3-D image scan. It’s basically the same thing, but a different computer program, okay?”

Megan began to lift the gown away from Buffy’s abdomen, holding the sheet in place with her other hand, “So, do Mom and Dad want to know what sex the baby is?”


“No” and “Yes” came out of both of them, Buffy the negative and Spike the positive, Buffy looked at Spike with a furrowed brow, “Okay Buffy, no,” Spike conceded to her wish not to know.


“If you guys change your mind you just have to ask your Obstetrician, he’ll get all the results anyway,” Megan answered as she tucked the gown just under Buffy’s bra, and tucked the top of the sheet in her pants, “So Buffy how far along are you?”


“About 16-17 weeks.”


“Excellent, thank you.”


Taking the gel in her hand, Megan placed a generous amount onto Buffy’s stomach, turning towards the ultrasound machine, she turned it on and sat down. She punched Buffy’s details into the screen in front of her, and then took the wand and placed it onto her abdomen. A soft rapid ‘thud thud’ filled the room from the loudspeaker on the ultrasound machine, Buffy looked questioningly at Spike, then at Megan, who was playing around with the dials on the machine.


“Yes, that’s your baby’s heart beat,” Megan watched Buffy, as she still looked gravely concerned, “Baby’s hearts beat a lot faster than ours, and it sounds normal.”


“Ohh,” Buffy quietly spoke.


“Okay let’s have a look at bubby,” Megan moved the wand around Buffy’s abdomen, “Here they are…...there’s the baby’s head…...arm…....there’s the other hand…...the baby’s spinal cord..…leg and other leg.” Even though it was obvious to them what was what, she pointed it out on the screen as she continued with the examination.


Buffy turned her head away from the screen for just a minute to catch a glimpse of Spike, she saw that he was totally engrossed in the picture in front of him. His gaze never moved, and he didn’t seem to blink, even once, he was so totally wrapped up in the vision before him. Turning her attention back to the screen, she watched as Megan took other scans, like the diameter of the limbs, and organs of the baby. Buffy felt a warm hand take her own, as the scan continued, gently lacing its fingers with her own, and then giving her hand a gentle squeeze. Buffy returned her attention back to him, looking at him she saw the gratification he felt towards her, as he mouthed the simple words of ‘thank you’ to her.


“Okay, we’re done with the first scan. Time for the 3-D image,” Megan spoke to both of them, she changed the wand to another type, and placed more gel on Buffy’s abdomen, “Let’s get a good picture for mom and dad.”


Megan ran the wand over Buffy, and flipped a few switches and turned the dials again, adjusting the image until a clear picture of the baby’s head appeared on the screens around them. Spike’s fingers tightened around Buffy’s hand, as their baby’s face appeared; their little facial features clear on the screen. It was a sight that made both of them smile in wonder of the little life that was displayed for them.


Buffy felt herself begin to tear up as she watched the screen, the wave of emotions flooded into her, ones of love, affection and protection. Spike touched the monitor that sat in front of him, and outlined the features of the baby with a single finger. Even though he had no physical connection with the baby, like Buffy, he felt the strong bond that lay deep within him, surface and sweep him away. He turned towards the woman that lay beside him, the feeling of overwhelming gratitude he felt at that moment was indescribable. He lent over and brushed her hair with his hand, she broke her gaze away from the screen as he caught her attention; he gently placed a kiss on her forehead, and returned to his seat.


Megan took the wand off Buffy’s abdomen, before cleaning the instrument with a cloth, and handing Buffy a towel to clean up the gel. She placed a disc into the computer consol, and a video tape into a VCR, and hit a few other buttons on the ultrasound machine.

“I’m running off a few copies for you. You’ll have a copy of both the scans on CD for your PC, video for the VCR and a few hard copies...….ohh sorry, pictures of each scan.” Megan stated.


“Pictures?” Buffy replied a little vaguely, the sight of the baby had numbed everything else.


“Yeah, baby’s first picture! You can also make an image of the 3-D scan into a desktop, if you have the software, or I could recommend a place that does it,” Megan replied.


“No, I should be able to do that,” Spike looked at the sonographer, “I’m sure that I’ll work it out.”


“Buffy you can get changed now, back into your street clothes, you should find a container of Wet Ones, behind the curtain to clean the rest of the goo off,” Megan instructed Buffy. Doing as she was asked, Buffy got herself off the bed, and went behind the curtain.


“Mr Summers, here’s the CD, video tape and pictures. If you lose any of them let me know, we keep the tape for at least a year,” Megan handed him the things.


“Freemantle”


“Oh sorry...…Mr Freemantle…my apologies...…I just thought...…”


“No problem Luv!”

Taking the precious items from her, he got lost within the baby’s scans, all time seemed to stop for him, as he admired the little image before him. He never heard Buffy call his name as she tried to get his attention, it wasn’t until she tapped him on the shoulder, that it broke his trance like state. Megan moved to open the door to allow the couple to leave, and let the next couple in, she wished them well, and reminded them to go see Dr Singer in a week for the scan results.


They walked out of the building, stopping outside the main doors of the complex, as Spike finally handed Buffy the pictures that he’d been admiring, and she’d had yet to see.


“So which side of the family do you think they’ll resemble?” Spike asked Buffy as she studied the picture that she held.


“It’s a bit early Spike for that!”


“Well maybe, but if it’s a girl, we need her to look like you, and if it’s a boy…….”


“What? Look like you?” Buffy laughed at him.


“And what’s wrong with that! I’m a fine English specimen, thank you!”


“Yes, that’s totally conceited and wrapped up in himself!”


“Hah!! Look who’s talking!”


“Shut up Spike! Let’s just go home, I’m all shopped and scanned out,” Buffy pleaded, “I need a shower! Ewww that goo she used is everywhere!”


“Ahh, but you still look pretty!”


“Pretty messy?”


“No, pretty...…” For once, he was lost for words.


“Anyway, please let’s go home!” Buffy pleaded again, Spike looked once again at the pictures, still stunned by the amazing site.


“Thank you for today. You have no idea how much this means to me.” Taking her hand, Spike looked at Buffy. His face broke out into a large grin of happiness.


“I can guess, because it means the world to me,” Buffy replied.


“It is my world too Buffy! The baby is everything!” With that Spike did the last thing that Buffy ever imagined, he leant over her, and placed a soft kiss on her lips, it was just a quick brush of his lips on hers, but enough to startle her. “You and the baby are the most important things to me, and never forget it!”


“I won’t.” A quiet and sombre reply came from Buffy, as Spike led her through the crowds and towards the car park. Her heart raced as it thumped against her ribcage, she knew that it was just a friendly show of emotions, but considering what they just been through, it sent her into a tailspin of confusion and numbness. Just how important they were becoming in his life was beginning to plague her thoughts, she knew that they still had to look beyond the pregnancy, and decide just where they stood in each others worlds. Buffy just didn’t know how much or how little he expected her to be a part of his life, and how much she could give up of herself, to let him be a part of hers.

Old memories came to haunt her mind as she continued to walk by his side, memories and feelings that she’d buried along time ago. She never thought that she’d have to face them ever again, but it was evident now that she would have to exorcise her demons, and rid herself of these memories of false hope and....desire.


A/N Thanks to Kirsty and Darcy for beta reading and comments that helped guide the development of this story...





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