“What are we doing?” Buffy whispered against his lips, closing her eyes as Spike backed her against the wall.
“I believe it’s called kissing, love.”
“You know what I mean,” she said, pulling back to look into his eyes. “Spike, we can’t do this.”
Spike sighed, resting his forehead against hers. “Then let’s tell ‘em. Tonight.”
“Tonight,” Buffy repeated, her voice holding a questioning note.
Pulling back slightly, Spike’s eyes narrowed as he studied her. “Having second thoughts?”
“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “They have to know… I mean… Jordan is your son and they need to know.”
Taking a step away from her, Spike shook his head as if to clear it. “Jordan,” he murmured, taking a deep breath as he looked away. “Right.”
Watching him in confusion, Buffy tilted her head to study him. “What were you talking about?”
“Not important,” he replied, shaking his head as he backed away. “Tonight,” he repeated, turning toward the door.
“Spike-”
“No… don’t.”
Buffy watched as he opened the door, a feeling of loss sweeping through her as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “I thought about you, you know,” she said as he was about to close the door. Breathing a sigh of relief when she saw him stop, his hand tightening on the doorknob, Buffy continued, “Even before I found out I was pregnant… I thought of you. You were such an amazing part of my life and I…” Trailing off, Buffy looked at the floor, searching for what she wanted to say. “It was just one night,” she whispered, almost to herself. “How could I feel this way after one night together?”
“Maybe because it was the result of the one night that caused it to be amazing.”
Buffy looked up in surprise, seeing Spike standing in front of her.
“It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.”
“Apparently we both missed the memo,” he said with a smile, lightly tracing her jaw.
Inhaling sharply at the feel of his hand on her skin, Buffy looked away. “I don’t love you,” she said, looking up at him when she heard him laugh softly.
“I would be surprised if you did.”
“And I’m not the ‘other woman’ kind of girl.”
“Never said you were.”
“I can’t be that person,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I just can’t.”
“I know that,” Spike replied, staring at her in amusement.
“You’re not mad?” Buffy asked in surprise, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot.
“About what? Love at first sight is for people who’ve never had their heart broken and for men who want to score on the first date.”
“What a romantic you are,” she said dryly, rolling her eyes.
“Buffy,” Spike whispered, tilting her chin up until she was looking into his eyes. “I don’t love Anya.”
Staring at him in confusion, Buffy’s brows furrowed as she watched him. “Then why…?”
“Seemed like it was time to settle down. Figured it would never get easier than having a woman propose to me,” he added with a smirk.
“Does she love you?”
“If she does, she’s being tightlipped about it.”
Buffy breathed an inaudible sigh of relief as she closed the distance between them. “And that means…”
“That means,” Spike filled in, cupping her face in his hands. “Something was holding me back. Something that wanted me to find you.”
“Do you believe in soul mates?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I believe that anything worth having in this world is worth fighting for. Most of all - love. You have to work for what you want and work to keep it.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
A strangled gasp left Buffy’s throat as she froze, her breathing becoming labored at the sound of the voice behind her. Feeling Spike stiffen as he held her, she slowly turned around, looking into the expressionless gaze of her boyfriend. “Xander…”
“I don’t know why I’m not more surprised,” he said softly, almost to himself.
“Xander, I can explain… sort of,” Buffy muttered, looking guiltily at the floor, nearly flinching when she felt Spike’s hand rest on the small of her back.
“It doesn’t matter, Buffy.”
“But-”
“Trust me,” Xander said with a self-deprecating smile. “It doesn’t matter.”
Finally looking at him, Buffy’s eyes widened at the implications of what he was saying. “You…”
“I’m in love with someone else.”
* * * * *
One Day Later
“That’s that. It’s over.”
“You could evoke a little more emotion with that statement. It’s not like it was a football game.”
“Much more important than any game I’ve played, Goldilocks.”
“Now the age old question… what do we do now?”
“I’ll leave that one up to you.”
“Me? Why do I get all the tough questions? Alright, think, Spike, think.”
“It's a novel approach, but I'm sure your brain can handle it.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, love.”
“I suppose we could always take a few months off. I mean, you would see Jordan, of course. He is your son, after all, but you and I…” Buffy trailed off in a squeal as Spike lifted her into his arms, swinging her around in a circle around the backyard as Jordan played on a blanket nearby.
“And let someone else come along and steal you away? Not bloody likely.”
“Not likely at all,” Buffy agreed with a smile. “But I’ve gotta admit, you’re taking this whole revelation a little too well.”
“Are you kidding? They solved our problem for us.”
“That they did, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it this gracefully. She was your fiancée, Spike. I wouldn’t be too upset if you showed a little more emotion considering you lost her to my boyfriend.”
“The only emotion I feel is gratitude, love. They were in the same boat we were - they just managed to get out of it a little earlier. We all helped each other.”
“Yeah, but Anya and Xander,” Buffy murmured with a smile. “Seems like such a weird fit, doesn’t it?”
“You weren’t the one who had to listen to your former fiancée explain about the wonders of the female orgasm when the right partner is involved. Trust me, pet, after listening to three straight hours of that, in what should’ve been a break-up talk, I’m more than happy to leave them to their own devices. And I firmly believe that they were made for each other. Literally.”
Buffy giggled as Spike shuddered at the memories of the night before. “Come on… it couldn’t be that bad.”
“Easy for you to say! You got the guy to take the first step and tell you it was over. The guy is always the one to make it short and to the point, wanting to get out of harm’s way before the tears start-”
“Hey! There were no tears, buster. I was just as relieved as Xander was. And it’s not like I’ll never see him again. He’s one of my best friends.”
“We’re going to have to limit the alone time that the two of you have together, lamb,” Spike whispered, nuzzling her neck and feeling her smile against him.
“You don’t trust me?” she asked in a teasing voice.
“Trust you,” Spike replied, resting his hands on her hips as he checked on Jordan over her shoulder. “It’s all those other blokes who think they can steal you away.”
“Why are you looking at our son when you say that?”
“Because when that little guy so much as whimpers, I find my arms conspicuously empty.”
Buffy laughed as she looked over her shoulder at their son, hearing Spike sigh in contentment as they both watched him.
“You never answered your own question,” she said after a moment, turning to face him. “What do we do now?”
“I think I have an answer.”
Buffy narrowed her eyes, warily watching him when he pulled her closer to fully close the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her waist as if he would never let her go.
“Marry me,” Spike murmured, resting his forehead against hers.
Buffy stared into his eyes for a long moment before finally shaking her head. “Yeah, right,” she scoffed.
“Hmm… that was a little over the top, wasn’t it?”
“Not over the top,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “As far as proposals go, it was really good. But it was a little too high on the schmaltz meter. How about toning it down a little?” she said with a smile.
“Alright,” Spike said, pressing his lips to her forehead as they each shifted back and forth in the beginning of a dance. “Love me.”
Buffy pulled back, a surprised look on her face. Seeing his serious expression, she smiled. “That can be arranged.”
Thanks so much to: DaniD, Stephanie, caatje, jeanie, DK, Burnz, Brunettepet, Elanor, demona424, spuffette, willowmouse, Tuesday, hotlipedjen, SarahandJamesFanatic, Pam S, flibble, scaryscouse, gotkona, Dirktavian, 3988Akasha, sunshine, Roz, Cordykitten, spikestheman, M, Bekah Leigh & everyone who has stuck with this story from the beginning!