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Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter is kinda short, but next chapter tomorrow!
Life 4 – Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s only me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk alone

My shadows the only that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only one that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone.

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

That Monday I woke up with a pressure building up in my legs. I felt weighed down and even though I tried to move my legs, nothing happened. Squinting against the sudden sunlight beating in my eyes, I noticed that there was something sitting atop me. Upon further inspection that something turned out to actually be a someone, and when it moved in front of my eyes, blocking the sun so I could clearly see the facial features I realized it was a he. And not just any old he, a he I’d rather kill them have him on top of me.

Screaming so loudly it hurt my throat, I kicked and struggled and he pinched me harder, and slapped me more, but then when footsteps could be heard in the hall he jumped off me, and rushed outside so that Mom couldn’t come in and see what her precious husband was actually trying to do. That’s when I noticed my state of near undress.

My pajama top was completely unbuttoned and askew, and my pants were shoved down past my knees, the only piece of clothing not yet moved was my underwear. I shuddered and covered myself quickly just in case the grimy monster came for a repeat.

So he was getting tired of 12 yr olds then. Well that suited me just fine. As long as he wasn’t hurting Dawnie I could handle any and all pain he decided to dish out.

I arrived at school not more than 30 minutes later, having walked Dawnie to her school and ate a hurried and on the go breakfast. Going straight to my locker, I grabbed my English textbook and binder, then ran the rest of the way to the library, nearly tripping over my too large pants.

Entering my sanctuary I breathed in familiar air, and fought hard to not let any of the tears fall as I made my way over to the table and sat all my books on top of it. Then I went up into the stacks and let the tears that had been threatening to spill over fall. I deserved it for crying out loud, after everything I’d been through. Thankfully no one but Giles and Jenny was in the library, and they were too preoccupied to notice some poor child’s tears. Suited me just fine. Eventually though I forced myself to stop and batted at the clinging remains. Still wiping my eyes, I walked back down in time to see Willow and Xander enter the library, with Oz and Cordy trailing behind them and then Callie and Tara not more than 5 minutes later.

“Hey Buffy,” Xander said, hugging me and noticing the baggy clothes I had chosen for the day and the weary and faraway look in my eyes. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, god, just back off Xander,” I glared at him and left the library, new tears springing to my eyes. Walking around, rather aimlessly, I ended in Jock Hall where I saw, to my great and honest displeasure, Spike and Vampirella kissing like crazy people in a corner, and Angel and Darla not to far from them having an argument, about apparently Riley Finn. Whatever. They didn’t bother me so much as the fact that nobody even noticed me, and the one guy that did was obviously in the wrong hallway and just trying to get the hell out of there, so he ran into me.

I turned and walked away, but the images of Spike and that slut still were searing into my brain even as I heard the bell, faintly as if from a distance, and started towards English, which I had with absolutely no one except Harmony and Faith.

Sitting in my chair I tried hard not to grumble at the uber slowness of the clock as it ticked the seconds away of my imprisonment and mocked me with every slow turn. I growled low, but Harmony heard me and a loud whisper about werewolves being in the classroom started after that. I ignored them and then caught sight of my notebook in which I had somehow written the words: “To Kill Today:” and then Ted’s, Drusilla’s, and even Spike’s name. I was in the middle of writing Harmony’s. Quickly tearing the page up, lest my teacher see it and I get suspended for threatening violence on the other students, I sent up a prayer as the bell finally sounded.

I ate lunch by myself in the courtyard, not wanting to face any of my friends or Giles. I just didn’t need the knowing looks and maddeningly sad glances they always sent my way. After lunch I took refuge in the football field under the bleachers and away from the dope smoking kids. Suddenly I felt the inexplicable urge to join them, but I stamped it down when I remembered the last person I knew who had taken marijuana, namely Dawn, and had ended in the hospital for a week after Ted found out.

That day after school I was still feeling funky, and refused to even let Dawn find a safe haven in my room, that is until I heard a muffled grunt from downstairs. I left and found Ted beating on Dawn, Mom having left for work an hour ago. Grabbing his arm I whirled him around and punched him in the face, which he didn’t exactly approve of, and Dawn ran upstairs, and by the position of the slamming, into my bedroom. Ted proceeded to yell at me, and hit me, but I didn’t care and for once I hit him back. I was just to angry to let some overgrown asshole with a superiority complex take his frustrations, I don’t know if they’re sexual or work related, out on me.

Finally when he was craving a beer to much to put it off he left, and I walked up to my room, and even though I was bleeding profusely I was holding my head high and not feeling even an ounce of the pain that normally I would be feeling. Smiling as I entered my room, I laughed as Dawn’s strangled gasp filled the tiny space. “Dawnie, don’t worry so much. I actually feel rather fine right now. All’s right with the world. Plus, I think I might have broke the fucker’s nose.” She giggled a little and my bad mood was gone for the time being.

Only to return the next day when Xander and Will came up to me and asked if something had been bothering me the other day. “You seemed kinda pissed about something, Buff, and we’re just wondering if maybe Ted was the cause. Or we did something we aren’t to sure about.” Willow’s babbling, when usually comforting, made me see red and I stared at her with a vengeance, wondering why she was even talking to me right now.

“No offense, Will, but go hang somewhere else. And yeah, if you must know, it was Ted’s fault. And it’s still Ted’s fault, but seriously, don’t piss me off any further right now by asking pesky questions like if Ted beat harder last night than usual. Reality? Not last night. Yesterday morning something happened. Last night was damn good in the war against Ted. Buffy 1, Ted … well, I lost count.” I smiled slightly, to ease the harshness, but turned and walked the other way nonetheless, leaving Willow staring fish mouthed after me, and Oz patting her back consolingly, while Xander was just plain mystified. Good, I thought, it’ll serve them right. Sometimes they just really need to give a tortured girl some space.

Striding into class I bumped into Angel, who happened to be in my History with me, who smirked at me like he knew something I didn’t. Asshole. He was worse than Ted half the time with his greasiness and tendency to stare at you till he could see through your shirt. Fucking pervert he was.

Staring at the history teacher, and trying to actually take notes, but the monotonous drone was lulling me to sleep, and since I sit in the back it’s a lot easier to fall asleep. Staring at the sudden darkness enveloping me, I smiled easily and let it take me in its grasp and float me down a river where I wasn’t being beaten constantly. Or maybe I was. “What the?” I whispered, coming to, only to see Angel hitting me with little wads of paper and grinning all the while.

“Welcome to the world of the awake, Nerd. Nice little dream you were having there huh? Was Spike naked and wet in it?” His leer made me feel sick, so I got excused and went to sit in the courtyard till the bell rang. Then I seen Spike and Drusilla walking through the yard and laughing at something, though by the completely out of it stares on their faces, they weren’t laughing at anything on Earth.

“Nice job trying to ditch me, but it won’t work. I need to talk to you.” Angel sat down beside me and I visibly blanched.

“Isn’t this bad for your reputation?” I asked, staring at him in confusion and a little worry. “What do you want anyway?”

Angel grinned, finally getting his way. “Easy. I want my girl back.”

“Darla?” I asked, thinking of the fight yesterday.

“No, not that slut. Riley Finn is welcome to her. I caught them in bed together, and kicked her to the curb,” he added off my still confused stare. “I meant Drusilla. Spike’s been playing with her for to long, and I think it’s time Loverboy pisses off and gives her back.”

As much as I hated Drusilla I couldn’t help saying it, “She’s not a piece of meat.”

Angel laughed, which was kind of a nice sound when you listened to it, “Yeah well, she’s my meat nonetheless, and I want her back.”

“Why do you need me then? Can’t you just go demand her back? I’m sure with whatever she’s on she’ll happily fuck you.”

His growl gave me a sense of deep satisfaction. “Look, Summers, I need you to date me for a little while to make her jealous. She’ll leave Bleached Blonde Wonder and you can step in as his crying shoulder. Win-win, see?”

I stared at him incredulously. He had to be kidding me? Date him? Angel O’Connor who always did his best to hurt me in new and unimaginable ways? Not only was it ludicrous and insane, no one would believe it. “Umm… how about we don’t and not say we did? Sounds like a much better plan to me.” I got up and started walking away when his voice stopped me.

“C’mon Summers, it’ll be fun. You, me, a workable plan to get you a boyfriend. Lord knows you’ve always wanted one. Please, Buffy?” He added when I still stared at him like he’d grown three heads.

Laughing, I called back sarcastically, “Sure and then we can run off and get married. Get real, Angel, like I’d ever be desperate enough to date you, even pretending.” Still laughing, I cut the rest of the day and went to the mall.





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