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William spent most of the day Friday trying to come up with a way to get Buffy back. He rejected every plan that come to his mind, nothing seeming to be quite the right way to convince Buffy that he wanted her for more than sex and that her past wasn't something he was going to let come between them.

Finally, he accepted what he needed to do. In some ways it was the simplest plan, but it also felt like the most difficult.

He had to tell Buffy that he loved her.

The idea had him in a near panic, even as he tried to look at it rationally. He'd already lost her, so it wasn't as if it could really ruin the relationship further. Maybe it would actually work in his favor and Buffy would want his love—would want to stay with him.

And maybe she would throw his declaration back in his face the same way Cecily had.

It was that fear that made William keep hesitating. Cecily's rejection had hurt, but he knew Buffy's would be a thousand times worse. If she laughed at him and mocked his feelings he didn't think he'd be able to take it.

But would Buffy do that? Was that the kind of woman he had spent the past week with, that he had fallen in love with? He remembered all the times Buffy had urged him to believe in himself, to be strong, to stop thinking he was nothing. No, Buffy wasn't at all cold-hearted like Cecily.

Finally, William had his mind firmly set. He would go to her right then, tell her how he felt. Buffy had made him a man

It was time he started acting like one.

*** *** ***

William took a deep breath when the front door of Buffy's house started to open, telling himself that he could do this—that he had to do this. He looked up at the man who had answered the door, taking a deep breath before he spoke, "Mr. Giles—I do apologize for the late hour, but it is important that I speak with Buffy."

Giles had hoped William would come through after all, and he was certain that's why he was there then. He had every bit the look of a lovesick boy desperate to win back the object of his affections. "I'm sorry, William, Buffy isn't here. She's attending a party with a school friend of hers, a Miss Willow Rosenberg."

"Oh," William said, his disappointment obvious.

"However, if you'd be willing to wait a moment, I could ask my driver for the address of where he dropped off the girls."

Hope returned to William's eyes. "Would you?"

"Of course. Please, come in while I make the inquiry."

William nodded, saying a quick thank you as he stepped into the house. Perhaps this night would go well for him after all…

*** *** ***

As soon as he walked through the door, William remembered why he hated parties. It was too loud, too crowded, and he couldn't find Buffy anywhere. He sighed, just about to start asking around, when he felt a tug on his arm. He turned, frowning at who he saw. "Oh. Cecily. It's you."

"William, I must speak with you," Cecily said, biting her lip in a way William assumed she thought was provocative. If that were indeed the case, William found her to be sadly mistaken. "It is rather important."

"I don't have the time right now, Cecily," William replied, pulling his arm out of her grasp.

"Please, William. Don't make me beg you." She grabbed his arm again, pulling him away from the crowd and into another room. "Does this remind you of anything?" she asked once they were alone.

"No," William replied, annoyed. "Should it?"

"It's much like the situation we were in when you first professed your love for me," Cecily said with a coy smile.

William frowned. He guessed the rooms were somewhat similar. "Then it's also much like the situation where you rejected me—like quite a bitch, I might add."

"I know. Oh, how I regret that night!" She paused, looking into his eyes. "William, I really do love you. I was a fool before, for what I said to you. I didn't mean it, darling!"

William stared at her for a moment. Only a short time ago, those words would have filled him delight. Now they only filled him with nausea. How could he have ever thought this woman was anything special? And Buffy had been right about her eyes. They did bulge in a rather disturbing fashion. He frowned. "Cecily, I…"

Suddenly, Cecily had grabbed him and kissed him. William froze for a moment, her unexpected action putting him into shock. But soon he realized what was happening and pushed her away in disgust, frantically wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Cecily's kiss did nothing to him that Buffy's kisses did, the whole experience being not a thing but unpleasant.

"I don't love you, Cecily," William replied angrily. "I don't even like you. I think you're a horrible, selfish person. What you did to Buffy to come between us was cruel. I have never seen anyone so petty in my life. Any feelings I may have felt for you in the past were based on my own personal delusions, and I can promise you I am quite over them."

"Because of that slut Buffy Summers? Please, William!" Cecily screeched. "She isn't good enough for you. You're a baron, William—she's nothing but a whore!"

Cecily's words made a few things click into place for William. "You told the same thing to Buffy on Wednesday, didn't you?" he accused.

"It's the truth, William. If you can't see it…"

William grabbed Cecily by the arms. "Listen to me, you bloody little bint. You stay far away from Buffy," he snarled, his anger clear in his eyes. "She's better than you'll ever be, you daft cow."

Cecily trembled. "William! You're frightening me!"

"I'll do more than that if you ever come near Buffy again," William sneered. He dropped Cecily and turned towards the door.

"You'll regret this," Cecily said, rubbing her sore arms.

"The only thing I regret is being fool enough to believe I cared for you," William replied.

He went back to the party, searching for Buffy. He asked several people, the general consensus being she had been there but since vanished. And something about Cecily and a fork?

After an hour, William came to the conclusion that she had left. Cursing under his breath, he stormed out of the party, determined to hunt her down, even if it took him all night.

*** *** ***

"I'm sorry I'm being so un-fun tonight," Buffy said to Willow as they both sat on Buffy's bed, an assortment of snack foods between them.

"Don't worry about that at all," Willow replied. "You have the right to be sulky-girl right now. I would be, too."

"Still, you're probably wishing you'd just stayed back at school in the dorms."

"Uh, no," Willow said. "This is my first weekend away from that place all year. I would definitely rather be here than there. Besides, you need a friend right now."

"I do. I'm really glad you're here. I'm not sure I could be handling things too well right now if I was alone."

"You don't have to. I'll…" Willow stopped. "Did you hear something?"

"No. Like what?" Buffy asked with a frown.

"Some sort of tapping." Both girls were quiet for a moment until Willow said, "I heard it again."

"Me, too, that time," Buffy said, rising to her feet. "It sounds like someone's throwing stuff at the window." She walked over, opening the curtains and then the window itself, looking out. She gasped when she saw William standing beneath it. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"Buffy, please, I need to talk to you," William replied. "It's important."

The image of him kissing Cecily played over and over in Buffy's mind. "I have nothing to say to you, William."

"Buffy, please, just give me a few minutes…"

"No! Go away, William! I don't ever want to see you again!" She slammed the window shut and pulled the curtains closed.

Willow had come up behind her when she had heard Buffy yelling at William. "Are you gonna be okay?" she asked softly.

"I…I think so," Buffy replied, even as fresh tears were forming in her eyes. "I can't believe he came here. What, did Cecily turn him down again, so he thought he'd try to see what he could get from his old stand by?"

Willow gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I really wish William hadn't turned out to be such a jerk."

"Yeah, me, too." Buffy walked back over to the bed, sitting on the edge. "I really thought he was different. He seemed like such a nice guy, and I was really starting to believe that that's what he was. But I guess I was wrong again. Stupid, naïve Buffy, falling in love again even after having her heart ripped out before…" She sighed. "And you know what the worst part is? I still love him. After all of this, my heart should just kick him out, y'know? He's apparently not the man I thought he was, so I should just stop loving him. But I can't. I still want him so badly, Willow."

Willow sat down beside her. "Love sounds rough."

"It is," Buffy said, wiping at her eyes. "It's so tempting to just crawl back to him and beg him to keep me at least a little while longer, but I can't. I did that with Angel, and things only got worse. I have to be strong this time like I wasn't then. I can't allow myself to get walked all over."

"I'll be here with you this weekend, make sure you stay strong," Willow offered.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. It'll be better having a friend around to keep my mind off of William-y type things." Buffy took a deep breath and let it out. "But would you be disappointed if I was ready to just go to sleep now? I'm worn out."

"Of course I wouldn't," Willow replied. "I'm pretty tired myself, actually."

"Okay." Buffy stood. "I'll walk you over to your room."

Willow got up and followed Buffy out.

*** *** ***

William walked dejectedly back to his house, fighting tears. He was tired of crying, tired of feeling so weak. The tears had seemed to be ever present since Buffy had walked out of his bedroom two days ago and he wished they'd stop. He was feeling pathetic.

He went up to his room, not bothering to turn on the lights as he walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge, facing Buffy's bedroom. The curtains were drawn, closing her off to him. He longed for the days when they'd been open, and not just for the sort of voyeuristic treat Buffy had given him the night they'd met. Everything had seemed brighter with her there, as if the light she exuded pierced through the darkness his life had been before he'd met her. She was radiant, his golden goddess.

"This is the east, and Juliet's the sun! Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who's already sick and pale with grief," William said aloud, his words followed by an almost hysterical laugh. The tears he'd tried to fight off earlier were coming now, and he wiped them away roughly, cursing his heart for breaking.

He saw now that he was an idiot for believing he could simply talk to Buffy and make everything go back to the way it had been. She'd never loved him and losing him seemed to mean little to her. She could still party with her friends. She could dismiss him easily, banishing him from her life without a second glance.

She never wanted to see him again… He'd decided in the beginning that he'd do anything for Buffy, but how could he grant such a request? How could he spend the rest of his life without the woman he loved?

It seemed to be impossible. While he knew that he'd spent much more of his life without Buffy than with, she'd managed to turn his whole world upside down when she'd stepped into it. He couldn't go back to the way things had been before now that he knew the way they could be.

But there was nothing he could do to change it. If that was how Buffy felt, then it was truly over.

William would just have to learn to live without her.

*** *** ***

I want to take a moment to say thank you for the huge response this fic has gotten. I never intended it to become anything like this, planning a short story without much in the way of a plot at all. But instead, it grew into something much more that has seemed to capture not only my attention, but that of many readers. This fic has quickly become my most read and my most reviewed on every website where I post, and I can't tell you how much it means to me that so many people are enjoying this story. I don't think it could've become what it is without the support of so many readers, and I thank each and every one of you for allowing me to entertain you.





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