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***Chapter 28***Better Than Slaying***

She wasn’t asleep. Her breath was even, her body relaxed, but he knew she wasn’t asleep. Spike tightened his arms around her, shifting her higher on his chest so that he may brush his lips across the silky strands of her hair. He felt her sigh and snuggle against him.

“Wanna go kill something, pet?” Spike asked quietly.

“How did you know I wasn’t sleeping.” Buffy asked, her tone slightly miffed.

“You’re thinking too loud, luv.” Buffy’s lips curved into a smile.

“Well, maybe I’m comfy right where I am.” She sighed happily and wiggled against him, seeking more contact with his cool body.

“Oh, come on.” Spike scoffed. “You can’t wait to set out there and kick some demon ass.” He slid up on the bed to lean against the head board, affording him a better look at Buffy’s face. “Come on. Let’s kill something! For justice - and for - the safety of puppies – and Christmas, right?”

“Is this the same speech you gave Willow and Xander?” Buffy asked amused.

“Hey now!” Buffy laughed out right at his expression. Spike grinned at her and ran his hands up her sides warningly, causing her to wiggle half heartedly away. “Come on, luv. You are the Chosen One after all.”

Buffy froze, all laughter falling from her face. A worried expression crossed Spike’s face as Buffy pulled away from him and walked to where he threw her robe, sliding it over her slight form and wrapping it snuggly around her.

“Luv, what’s wrong.” He watched concerned as she rummaged around in her closet.

“Nothing.” She replied stiffly. “I thought you wanted to go patrol.” Spike slid from the bed and walked towards her with complete disregard for his unclothed form. He slid his arms around her resisting form, pulling against him.

“It didn’t work before, what makes you think you can get away from me this time.” Buffy sighed and looked up at Spike’s face, smirk firmly in place. “What’s wrong, luv?” Spike asked quietly.

“I'm just. . .starting to feel” She paused, searching for the right words. “Uneasy about stuff.” Spike’s smirk fell, his unneeded breath caught in his chest.

“Bout what exactly.”

“Training. Slaying. All of it. It's just ... I mean ... I can beat up the demons until the cows come home. And then I can beat up the cows,” Spike smiled at the little giggle Buffy made, his eyes softening. “But I'm not sure I like what it's doing to me.”

“You are the powerful Slayer I have ever faced, luv. Your strength, your moves, your flexibility,” Spike leered at her, causing Buffy to blush. “Your cunning, resourceful-”

“I'm starting to feel like. . . being the Slayer is turning me into stone.” Buffy beat her fists lightly against his chest to punctuate her words. “You have seen me break down three times now. That is three in the last year! I never break down. To slay, to kill ... i-it means being hard on the inside. Maybe being the perfect Slayer means being too hard to love at all. I already feel like I can hardly say the words.” Realization dawned on Spike’s face.

“Buffy-”

“No!” Her voice was panicked as she pulled away and began to pace back and forth. “I was never there for Riley, not like I was for Angel, and he still left. Riley left because I was shut down. He's gone. And you. You-” Buffy stopped before him and waved her arm in his direction, at a loss for words.

“Don’t put me in the same category as those wankers.” Spike stepped closer to Buffy, close enough to feel the heat of her body. “I have left how many times and have still come back. That was before you let me in. Before I could touch you.” Spike ran his fingers up her arm in a soft caress.

“Before I could taste you.” His lips brushed hers, sending shivers down her spine. “What makes you think I could just leave you now.” His lips moved on hers urgently, demanding her surrender. Buffy’s lips parted willingly, opening to his questing tongue. She leaned into his body, his arms going around her to hold her hard against his bare form.

Buffy pulled away gasping, resting her forehead on his chest, her breath coming in pants. Spike’s hands moved over her back and up to her shoulders, sliding the material of her robe off to allow him to place feather light kisses to her skin.

“I thought you wanted to patrol.” Buffy gasped as his fingers fumbled with the knot at her waist.

“The beasties can wait. This can’t.” He gave up on the knot and slid his hands around her waist, cupping her ass in his hands and pulling her up against his cool body. Buffy gasped at the contact, leaning into his embrace. He ran his lips down her neck, sucking her jugular, nipping at it lightly with blunt teeth.

Buffy arched her neck with a loud moan. Spike’s hands grasped her robe, pulling the hem up to allow his hands to venture underneath.

“Stop.” She gasped, pushing halfheartedly at his chest. “We’ll never get out of here if you don’t stop.”

“Would that be so terrible.” He mumbled against her skin, his hands making a delicious path over her skin.

“Patrol.” Buffy gasped as his fingers brushed against her tender flesh. “I have to patrol.”

“Later.” His fingers continued their assault till Buffy was arching against him, her breath coming in gasps. Spike caught her as she sagged into him, pulling her impossibly closer to his body with one arm, the other never ceasing with its movements. Buffy arched against him, her head falling back as a low moan escaped her lips.

Spike trailed his lips over her neck, biting lightly at her collarbone as he sped up the movements of his fingers, pushing more firmly against her. Buffy wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, every muscle taunt with pleasure. A scream broke from her lips, as the darkness threatened to consume her in its searing heat, pulsing through every nerve of her body, leaving her gasping for much needed breath.





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