[Reviews - 291]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 4277 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you for reading this and please review.
TO KNOW THE HUMAN HEART


Chapter 14: ‘Broken Hearts’


Summary: Buffy continues to keep Spike at somewhat of an arm’s length, both physically and emotionally that is. Some broken hearts and spirits in this one.

Something that occurs, a tragedy, may just open Buffy’s eyes. She might realize that life is truly too short to not take risks on true love.

Warnings: Much angst in this chapter and character death (original character to this fiction). I am trying to keep this realistic, unfortunately. Therefore, there will be great sorrow involved.


Chapter 14: ‘Broken Hearts’



Spike watched Buffy sashay about the cozy little coffee shop she owned and ran. While Buffy chatted up familiar customers, he sat contentedly following her every movement with his affectionate gaze.

Finally, Buffy made her way to Spike’s table and reluctantly poured him another cup of coffee.

“That blend will keep you up all night you know,” she giggled coyly.

“That’s the plan,” Spike chuckled in response; he waggled his dark brows at her suggestively.

“Oh, I see,” she mumbled through pursed lips. Pursed pouty lips to be exact; one of the very things that Spike was unable to resist about her.

Well, okay, so he couldn’t resist a lot of things about her and….

“Drive you home?” Spike asked quickly as he sipped the delicious hot liquid in his mug.

“Okay,” Buffy stammered a little too nervously for his taste.

It was now Thursday night and after the events of last weekend, Spike and assumed that Buffy would be more relaxed around him.

“I mean ‘drive’ you home to your place, Princess,” Spike sighed ruefully. “You don’t have to ask me in and…..”

“I’m sorry,” Buffy whispered softly; he noticed her hand shook slightly as she spoke.

“Of course I want you to come in for a quick visit,” she murmured shyly. “I just don’t want you to think that….”

“I don’t think,” Spike interrupted abruptly. “You’ve made it clear that we’re not even close to ‘that’ part of a relationship yet, Buffy.”

Buffy heard what Spike was saying of course, but he did look a bit disappointed, still. She felt bad, for many reasons.

William ‘Spike’ Giles was not only handsome, brilliant and extremely sexy; but he appeared to be a true gentleman. A decent, caring human being and yet, Buffy still felt skittish about him.

Why the heck couldn’t she just let go of the pain that Riley’s betrayal had caused her? Why couldn’t she just open up, completely to this seemingly wonderful, brilliant man?

Buffy chose to change the subject, rather discreetly. “I’m so glad Mr. Rayne is going to be okay,” she stammered as she plopped down in the chair next to Spike’s.

“He’s right as rain,” Spike replied almost non-chalantly. “The bloke’s heart is better then ever now,” he added with a smug grin.

“That’s good,” Buffy sighed wistfully. Her mind seemed to be a million miles away. Spike did have inkling as to where her thoughts just might be.

“Have you thought any more about my suggestion from the other day then? About perhaps adopting the little boy,” he asked casually. He made sure he had positioned his face in a way that would capture her line of vision.

“Well, yeah,” Buffy murmured quietly, nervously brushing off the spotless table between them. “I even mentioned it to Willow and Tara,” she added with hesitation.

Spike noticed that her pretty mouth had turned into a bit of a frown and he quirked his left eyebrow at her. “Red and Glinda aren’t too keen on it then?”

His own mouth formed a scowl and Buffy suddenly felt quite warm in her little shop. She dropped her eyes from his and shook her blond head slowly.

“Tara isn’t so sure,” she mumbled softly; her tone had become wistful again and Spike realized something.

He had not really considered this before; but it suddenly came to him that perhaps Buffy should not adopt a child. Tara was the degreed psychiatrist of the bunch and she was a top notch one at that.

Angel had revealed a lot of Buffy’s past history; especially the horror of her stepsister’s life and death. The little girl, Lizzy, the sister’s child had been paramount in Buffy’s decision to help her special babies at the hospital.

‘Tara’s worried that Buffy will be in for more heartbreak if she adopts a sick baby,’ Spike surmised. ‘I’ll have to have a talk with Glinda and get more info before I encourage my poor Buffy to take that kind of a chance again.’

“There’s a show at the Cineplex we want to see!” Andrew exclaimed wildly at his stepsister and boss. “Johnathan and me want to see the movie and it starts in just a ‘mo’ Buff. Can we leave early and…..”

Buffy eyed her stepbrother and his friend Johnathan Levy. She sighed deeply and nodded her golden head. “Go on,” she grumbled good- naturedly.

Spike had dubbed the two young men the ‘Bobsey Twins’ from the first time he’d seen them work together at the coffee shop. If he didn’t know better, he could swear that maybe these guys were more then just friends. However, it had been apparent when Buffy’s little sis, Dawn was in Sunnydale that Andrew had more then step-brotherly feelings for her.


In the end, Spike did drive Buffy home to her condo; after she closed the shop up.

“I should go,” Spike panted breathily as he pulled his lips away from Buffy’s delicious little mouth.

They were sitting on her rather comfy sofa in the living room; taking up where they’d left off last weekend.

Spike was reluctant to leave of course, but he knew that at this time, Buffy was not ready for more then some snogging. For some reason, being with Buffy reminded Spike of being back in high school; he didn’t mind it though. In fact it kind of added to the excitement of his perusal of her.

Buffy did a rather sneaky thing when he offered to leave now instead of staying and trying to get to at least third base. She pouted; that lovely little mesmerizing pout of hers that just melted him like butter in a hot pan.

“Look, Princess,” Spike murmured huskily as he pressed his warm lips to her even warmer forehead. “I don’t want to leave tonight; or ever for that matter,” he added with a wry chuckle.

He felt her tense in his arms and knew he was right for pursuing this course he was on. Even if it killed him to have to leave tonight.

“Buffy,” he whispered; he gently pulled her little chin up so their eyes could meet. Spike felt suddenly sad at the look of trepidation in her beautiful green eyes.

“Listen, pet,” he began again, “you’ve made it perfectly clear that you’re not ready for more then some kisses. I on the other hand would love nothing more then to sweep you up and carry you into your very lovely bedroom. I want to make love to you Buffy. You know that, but….”

“I’m not ready yet,” she finished the sentence for him; her voice was barely a sorrowful whisper.

Buffy pulled completely away from Spike and stood up from the sofa. She meandered (that’s what they called what she did ‘meandered’ that is) her way across her living room and into her kitchen. Of course, Spike followed her.

“I’m sorry Spike,” she mumbled, her back turned to him as she pretended to be doing something at her kitchen sink.

“I really do like you Spike, a lot, and I do know you like and care about me,” she whispered miserably, her back still turned to him.

“I can’t say why I’m such a coward about ‘this’ I mean about us. Oh shit, I don’t know what the hell I mean,” she spat in frustration. There was a definite tremble in her voice, or a sniffle; or something to that affect.

Spike clasped her gently and tenderly spun her around to face him once again. The sad, lost look in her eyes broke his usually semi-hard heart. Not to mention what it did for his hard cock.

“Buffy, sweet, it’s alright. I know you’re scared and you have every right to be. Someone’s hurt you, terribly, just like I’ve been hurt. I’m beginning to think that I never cared all that much for my ex, however,” he muttered with a scowl. “She really wasn’t terrible likeable, much less loveable,” he finished with a shrug.

“Perhaps that’s why I don’t miss her in the least and feel ready to move on. With you that is,” he added softly. He snuggled her deeper into his arms and nuzzled the side of her face with his lips.

Buffy looked up at him; her green eyes were damp with unshed tears. Spike realized that all of his professions were probably simply making her feel a bit worse; not better.

“Look,” he began hesitantly, “I’ll be by, tomorrow night at 7:00. We’ll go to your friends' winery and watch some old sappy movie and eat great food. Just like we planned, yeah? Hell, I’ll even bring some fattening outrageous dessert; something chocolate for you. What do you say, sweetling?”

“Kay, Spike,” Buffy murmured just before she buried her golden head into his chest. Spike swore he could feel her petite body shake slightly in his arms.

He tightened his embrace about her and kissed the top of her soft, warm head.

“Someday and I don’t doubt it’ll be soon, sweet,” he whispered tenderly. “You won’t be so afraid of ‘us’ anymore and I will be there, waiting for you.”

After Spike had placed a chaste, tender kiss on Buffy’s swollen lips, he quietly slipped out her front door. The heavy oak door barely made a sound as it clicked shut.

Buffy stood at her front window silently peering out of it. When Spike’s DeSoto pulled away from the curb in front of her house she felt completely empty inside. She had never felt so utterly alone in her entire life.


Spike chatted amicably with his star patient, Ethan Rayne. Ethan had completely stunned everyone, including his doctor, by coming out of the common but still risky surgery with flying colors.

“So, Doc,” Rayne chuckled good-naturedly, “things moving along nicely with Miss Summers?”

“None of your bloody business Ethan,” Spike replied with a smirk despite the mock gruffness in his voice.

“I’d bet you and the delectable Miss Buffy Summers are doing just fine, Doctor.”
Ethan laughed heartily; his right brow was quirked at Spike. say they are,” the patient laughed heartily

“Maybe,” Spike replied in a very neutral tone. He continued to check Rayne’s chart; hoping to put an end to this discussion about Buffy.

Willow Rosenberg was on duty today and she stuck her head into Ethan’s private room. Spike noticed that the red-haired girlfriend of his good buddy, Tara, seemed distraught. She had an unhappy, almost worried look on her face.

“Spike,” Willow began timidly, “there’s someone here, to see you. He came in and asked for ‘you’ specifically,” she mumbled nervously. “I thought, well, I felt it best to steer him into your office and…..”

“Who is it Red?” Spike asked the stuttering young woman. He was confused, especially since Willow seemed so upset by whoever this mystery man was.

“Riley Finn,” Willow blurted out in a high pitched voice.

“Finn,” Spike muttered, even more confused then ever. “What the blood hell does that moron want with me?” He bellowed through his clenched jaw.

“Go kick his arse Doc!” Ethan guffawed loudly. “Except bring him in here, so I can see it! It’ll do me some good to…..”

“Settle down Ethan,” Spike ordered his patient; his exasperation was apparent. “I’m not going to kick Finn’s arse. Yet,” he finished in a mumble.

“I’ll go talk to the wanker,” Spike muttered, flipping Ethan’s chart shut and waving good day to the bedridden man. “Red will you stick around here with our star patient and try to settle him down?”

“Uh, sure,” Willow stammered. She was still nervous about Spike’s visitor.

Spike strode to his borrowed office, stopping at the closed door to take a deep breath.

‘What the fuck does Buffy’s ex want with me?’ He wondered silently yet again. ‘Wonder if the whelp sent him by to…..’

He did not finish the thought; instead he opened the door and stepped inside. To say he wasn’t surprised by Riley’s appearance would be an understatement. Spike had pretty much pictured exactly what a moron like Finn would look like. He had been right on about it.

Riley Finn stood to greet Spike; this is when the doctor was made painfully aware of just how ‘large’ Buffy’s ex was. Finn must have been 6’3” or so and with the paramedic uniform on, it was obvious he kept in shape.

Spike suddenly felt very short, even though he worked out and probably was in as good or even better shape then Finn. For some reason, Spike was feeling somewhat inadequate being in the same room as this bloody big oaf.

‘Alright, pull yourself together,’ Spike order red himself silently. ‘So the guy’s a fucking oak tree; I’ll wager he’s got a brain to match it. After all, who’d leave Buffy for anyone else and….’

“Hi,” the oak tree spoke.

“Hello,” Spike replied coolly, accepting Finn’s extended hand in a shake.

“You must be wondering why I’m here, right?” Riley asked evenly as he took in the famous Dr. William Giles.

Spike’s blue eyes narrowed into slits, “crossed my mind,” muttered. “Sit down,” he commanded the larger man as he himself took a seat in his desk chair.

“I’m gonna’ get right to the point, Dr. Giles,” Riley began confidently.

“Go on,” Spike motioned at the man before him.

“I’ve heard that you’re seeing my ex-girlfriend,” Riley stammered, suddenly a little unsure of him.

“Yeah, what of it?” Spike countered evenly.

“Well, I came to ask you something, man-to-man,” Riley replied. Spike noticed a slight nervous edge to the man’s deep voice.

“Are you serious about Buffy, I mean really serious?” Riley asked quietly, his dark eyes stared intently into Spike’s blue ones.

“Do you really think that’s any of your bloody business?” Spike asked in a raised voice. ‘Jesus Christ! How could this fucking arse come in here and actually ask about the woman he had nearly destroyed by…..


“No, it isn’t my bloody business,” Riley sighed heavily and hung his big head down. “I just, well, I guess I just felt like I should find out about you. You’ve gotta’ know about our past history, Buffy’s and mine,” he shook his head sadly.

“I really fucked up with Buffy,” Riley continued and Spike could hear the remorse in his voice.

“I hurt her, badly and made a big, big mistake. I just, well, I wanted to know if you were serious about her because…..” Riley’s sentence trailed off as he looked at Spike with sad eyes.

‘Oh, fuck, he wants Buffy back!’ Spike surmised when he noted the pleading look in Finn’s dark, sorrowful eyes.

“You want her back, don’t you?” Spike asked quietly as he tried to quash the raising panic from anger and fear that threatened to overtake him.

Riley responded with a simple ‘yes’ and a shake of his dark haired head.

“What makes you think she’d take you back?” Spike asked evenly; he had successfully quelled the panic in his tone. At least for now.

“She loves me, I believe, still,” Riley mumbled in reply. It was obvious that the man was feeling embarrassed at what he felt was a show of weakness to Spike.

“I think if you might step aside,” Riley glanced up at Spike with a hopeful expression in his eyes. “I mean, after all, Buffy and I have a history; you’re just here for a while and….”

It was apparent to Spike that this fucking loser had done his homework. Spike was sure, more then ever that the whelp, Harris, had filled in Finn on as much as he could figure out.

Spike knew he should feel sorry for this pathetic bloke, Riley Finn, but he couldn’t bring himself to. The man had hurt his Buffy, terribly, and now he thought he could just waltz in and take up where they left off?

Well, Spike Giles felt no pity for this bloody idiot! He felt contempt for Riley, nothing more.

‘What a fucking wanker! His arrogance cracks me up! Buffy no more loves him any longer then…..’ Spike halted this train of thought and decided to vocalize at this time.

“Buffy doesn’t love you any longer, mate,” Spike stated evenly. His tone was cold; his words truthful, Spike knew it in the bottom of his heart.

“But,” Riley began, however Spike cut him off with a wave of his left hand.

Riley’s tone had become sickeningly begging and his pleading dog eyes were beginning to piss Spike off!

“Look mate,” Spike began, a little less harshly this time; his blue eyes met Finn’s glare defiantly.

“Buffy does not love you any longer; how could she? You took her heart and tore it into pieces by what you did.” Spike was beginning to get angry again, but he kept his temper in check.

“As far as Buffy and I, well that is none of your bloody business. However,” Spike continued coolly, “I’m going to give you a little information, then some sound advice.

“I love Buffy, Finn,” Spike declared; his words sounded almost reverent, even to himself. “I love her and I hope someday she’ll love me. Buffy deserves to be loved by a real man; a faithful, adoring man and that’s me mate.”

Riley looked incredulous; something Spike was enjoying immensely. He grinned widely at the shocked looking paramedic and stood up.

“I plan to marry Buffy, Mr. Finn,” Spike added for good measure. “You had your chance and as you put it; you fucked up, royally. Thanks for that much, friend,” Spike chuckled, “the part where you blew it, not how you did,” he finished with a scowl.

Spike remembered how Tara and Willow had told her Riley’s betrayal had broken Buffy’s poor heart. It rankled Spike that this asshole had hurt his girl so and he hated Finn for it.


“Just because you finally came to your senses about how much you fucked up, doesn’t mean Buffy’s going to allow you back into her life. I’m in her life now, Finn, get used to it.”

Spike set on the edge of his desk, right in front of Finn and stared down at the defeated man in the chair.

“But, you, you barely know each other and…..” Riley stuttered anxiously. Obviously, this conversation had not turned out the way Finn had expected and he was beginning to panic.

“My advice is to get over Buffy, like she has you,” Spike continued harshly. “Oh, and stay the fuck away from her,” he commanded gruffly.

“Goodbye Finn,” Spike spat. “I hope I have the pleasure of not laying eyes on you again,” he finished with a chuckle.

Riley stood up and shuffled out of the office door without another word. He didn’t even look back at Spike.

“Fucking ponce!” Spike grumbled in disgust as Finn closed the door behind him.

A thought occurred to Spike and he hurried to his desk. After he checked the telephone book for what he was looking for, he called the listed number of the florist shop.

Spike ordered three dozen of the best red roses to be sent to Miss Buffy Summers. He gave the flower shop employee Buffy’s business address because he knew she’d be at the coffee house today working.

“Write these words on the card, please,” Spike asked the shop employee politely.

“Say,” he continued: ‘Even these beautiful roses could never compare to the beauty that you are, Buffy. Inside and out; your beauty puts all others to shame…..Yours, William’


“Wow! That’s really too cool dude,” the young male employee gasped audibly.

“Thanks….dude,” Spike replied jovially.


Buffy scurried about the coffee bistro; pouring coffee here, chatting up customers there. Even though things had ended on a slightly sour note last night with Spike, she felt somewhat hopeful this morning. She had no idea why, but she felt as if she may just be coming out of a foggy dream and read to face…..

“Wow!” Andrew gasped from behind the counter.

Buffy glanced up and followed the direction her stepbrother was looking in.

“Wow!” Buffy gasped from her position at the cash register.

A flower shop delivery guy, obviously, was heading towards Buffy. In the young man’s arms was a hugest, most beautiful coquette of roses that she had ever seen.

“Are you Miss Buffy Summers?” The young florist asked hopefully when he stood in front of her.

“Yes, I am,” Buffy mumbled shyly. “Are those….”

“For you,” the florist replied proudly, as he had actually ordered and sent the bouquets himself.

Buffy tipped the kid and nervously fumbled about with the large card attached to the flowers. She knew, even before she read the card Buffy knew who the bouquets had to be from.

When she read the lovely words William had had written on it, Buffy felt tears threaten to spill from her eyes. She felt such a rush of affection for William, right at that moment; that she wished he were here, with her, right now.

Her joy at the wonderful surprise was cut short by her cell phone’s ringtone. Buffy scowled slightly and picked up the offending piece of modern technology.

“Oh God,” Buffy murmured fearfully when she saw the familiar phone number on the caller ID. Her heart nearly stopped beating and she felt her tummy sink. It was the emergency ‘911’ phone line from Sunnydale Hospital.



It was nearly 3:30 PM and Spike was not only tired; he was rather hungry. He had eaten only a salad at lunch, in the hospital commissary. Even Tara and Willow, who had joined him for lunch, had eaten more.

Spike was still at odds about the meeting with Riley Finn and he’d not had much of an appetite after that. He was looking forward to watching a movie, on the winery wall, with Buffy that night. A delicious looking cake the bakery had dubbed ‘Death By Chocolate’ was in his fridge at his leased flat.

There was an odd niggling feeling that nudged the back of Spike’s mind. He thought it was bloody odd that Buffy had not called and thanked him for the roses this morning.

After waiting an appropriate time, Spike had called the florist to make sure the roses had been delivered to Buffy’s shop. They had, the same young bloke that had taken his order had assured him.

When he checked his cell phone yet again, at precisely 3:35 PM and didn’t see a message from Buffy; Spike decided to call it a day. He’d stop by the coffee bistro and make sure that their date for tonight was still on and…..

Tara and Willow’s arrival into his office broke into Spike’s inner thoughts. Both of the women, it appeared to Spike, had been crying?

“Oh, Spike,” Willow cried desperately before she flopped down into the chair that Finn had occupied earlier.

“What is it Red?” Spike asked, suddenly terrified by the horrible look on both Tara and Willow’s faces.

“Spike, it’s Buffy,” Tara began sympathetically.

“What!” Spike roared, momentarily forgetting just where he was. “What’s wrong with Buffy? Where is she? Jesus Tara what’s wrong with Buffy?”

Spike practically flew across his desk and in front of the two women. He resisted the urge to grab Tara and shake some kind of information from her.

“It’s not Buffy, really,” Tara sighed sadly, “it’s one of her babies, Spike.” She sounded so anguished and looked so miserable that Spike felt like a shit for being angry with her just moments earlier.

“The little boy, Quentin,” Willow spoke, finally, although her own tone was as miserable as her girlfriend’s.

“Quentin? What happened to…..” Spike began tentatively.

“He passed away, Spike, just over an hour ago and….” Willow began to cry again; pain ridden, pitiful sobs emitted from her. Tara wrapped her arms about her lover and held her as tight as she could.

“Where’s Buffy now?” Spike asked; his own voice crackled with anguish and pain. His hand was clenched in a vice-like grip that it was a miracle that his nails didn’t draw his own blood.

“We last saw her, in the hospital Atrium,” Tara offered helplessly. “She’s wounded Spike, and torn apart. That’s why we came here, to you,” the woman said softly. “Buffy needs you.”

Spike found Buffy; in the otherwise empty Atrium located in the middle of Sunnydale Hospital. His heart broke, all over again for his love. Her already tiny frame seemed smaller then usual and the poor girl seemed so very broken to him.

Buffy had her head bowed; buried in her tiny hands and Spike could hear her soft, low whimpers from where he stood at the entrance.

Slowly and sadly, Spike stumbled up to the woman he loved and kneeled in front of her. He doubted if Buffy had even noticed he’d arrived. It turned out, however, that she had.

“Quentin,” Buffy mumbled through her tears. “He’s gone,” she whispered in disbelief.

Spike placed his hands on Buffy’s hips and laid his head onto her lap as if it were he that needed the comfort. For some reason, it seemed like the proper thing to do right now.

“I know,” he whispered into Buffy’s skirt covered lap as he stroked her hips tenderly with his hands.

“He was so little, and soft and I thought he was stronger and….” Buffy burst into more desperate sobs and threw her arms about Spike’s neck; wrapped her small hands about his golden head.

“I’m sorry baby,” Spike murmured. Each of their words to each other was filled with pain and Spike didn’t even try and hide his own tears. In fact, in just a few seconds, Buffy’s little skirt was soaked with the salty fluid from his tired blue eyes.

“Oh, Jesus Buffy, sweetheart. I am so sorry,” Spike rasped as he pulled her from the little bench she sat on. He tried to be gentle and comforting, but he hurt so bad; for her, with her, that he feared he might have hurt her.

“Spike,” Buffy whispered mournfully, allowing him to pull her into his strong, comforting embrace. “I need you,” she whimpered.

He began to pepper her neck and face with little loving kisses. Buffy yanked his face up so that his lips could meet hers and she kissed him with all of the pent up passion she could.

Spike pulled back, briefly from her; his eyes were wide with surprise and some doubt.

“Buffy,” he murmured quietly as he gazed into her wide, needful green eyes. “I want you; need you, but I don’t want you to confuse this, now, with the pain and your need for comfort. When we make love, I want it to be…..”

“I want you,” Buffy interrupted him with a stubborn whine. “I do want you and I do need you. Not just because of ‘just’ comfort, Will,” she continued huskily.

“I want you and need you because I just do. In the last few hours I learned something. Something real and important,” Buffy paused and gazed soulfully into Spike’s intense blue eyes.

“What?” He asked; his voice was husky with emotion; passion, lust and love for this tiny woman he held.

“I learned that life is too short, Will, too short to waste one second of it. If my precious Quentin’s life taught me nothing else, it taught me that.”


A/N: Well, I ended this chapter here for a couple of reasons. I felt the chapter was a bit long and I thought it would be a nice lead in to the next chapter. That one is going to be Spuffy loving completely.

Thank you for sticking with this story and please review. I love reviews! Spufette.





You must login (register) to review.