“Buffy, you could have gone with William, you didn’t have to come home with me if you didn’t want to,” Joyce said as she drove them home after visiting Hank.
“Mom!” Buffy exclaimed horrified. “Jesus, I don’t . . . you’re creeping me out.”
Joyce chuckled, “Sorry. Too much to have your mother actually advocating for you to stay with your older boyfriend?’
“Yes. It’s embarrassing enough you know that we . . . that we’ve. . . “ Buffy said gesturing to get the words out.
“Had sex?” Joyce asked with a twinkle in her eye. She laughed when Buffy hid her face in her hands. “I realize that you’re an adult now Buffy—“
Buffy let out a snort in disagreement.
“Well, by legal means you are. Which means that there isn’t much I can do at this point. Not saying that I’m about to let you and William engage in sexual intercourse under my roof while I’m there—“
Buffy burst out laughing, “Sexual intercourse. So technical mom.”
Joyce grinned, and slightly blushed, “You’ve been with him for a long time so it’s not like I don’t know that you’ve been . . . active.”
“I didn’t feel like going over,” Buffy said indifferently. “I feel the need to be in my own bed.”
“I understand.”
Buffy fell silent, staring out the window and watching the scenes pass her by, not really taking anything in and not really processing much of anything. Thoughts just came and bounced around, but she was too tired to dwell on any of them.
“Buffy, do you love William?” Joyce’s voice broke through her random thoughts.
Buffy knit her brows together in thought. “I don’t . . . know.”
“You don’t know? Has he told you--?”
“That he loves me? Yes.” A beat. “Seems like he tells me all the time,” and she sounded almost resentful of that.
“You must feel something for him.”
“I feel a great deal of things. None of which I can make sense out of. Mostly, I feel overwhelmed.”
“Overwhelmed? By his affection, you mean?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you not feel worthy or uncertain of his affections? I can tell you that William –“
“Is a great guy and would never hurt me, I know.”
Joyce frowned at the near snapping of Buffy’s comment and let silence settle for a minute.
“Buffy, who pursued whom?”
“Umm, it was kind of both of us. We both kind of . . . fell into it.”
“So there was no pressuring—“
“No, mom, why are you asking this?”
“A mother can’t be curious and want to know what’s happening in her daughter’s life? Especially when it comes to love.”
Buffy let out a sigh and shifted in her seat. She was radiating restlessness. “Can we not talk about this anymore?”
Odd, Joyce thought. “Okay, honey.”
Silence fell once again. This time, for the rest of the way home. Joyce wondered what was going through her daughter’s mind, but didn’t want to press her. She had a feeling that there was going to be some rough terrain ahead.
*******************************************
Buffy slept like a log and well into the afternoon. And even when she’d woken up, she still had no energy to move. She lay there, staring up at the ceiling, letting her mind go blissfully blank as she stared at the fake plastic stars on her ceiling. Her eyes followed the pattern of the Big Dipper and she yawned.
Rolling over she shut her eyes and she began to mull over what she had to do that day. Her dad was going to be coming home that day as soon as he got the okay from the doctor. Her mom was taking the day off to get everything ready for him and Buffy offered to help her last night before they’d gone to bed. She’d offered to go into the office that day and pick up messages from clients and such. She wasn’t keen on her dad jumping into the foray to start working right away, but she supposed since he was planning to work from home for a while, it couldn’t hurt too much.
She also had some homework to do to catch up on what she’d missed, but that could wait until later.
Her cell phone going off on her nightstand startled her and she stared at it, pondering if she really wanted to answer it. Sighing heavily, she gave in and answered.
“Hello.”
“Buffy, hey, it’s Willow.”
“Hey Wills.”
“I heard from Dr. Richards that your father had a heart attack. Are you okay? Is he okay?”
“Did he just decide to tell the class?” Buffy asked, sitting up against her headboard.
“No, no, of course not. He pulled me aside and asked me if I’d let you know not to rush back and to take your time. I guess you’d gone to see him yesterday?”
Buffy sighed, wanting to blot out the whole day – or rather, the part where she’d flipped a nutty in William’s office. “Yeah, I did. I wanted to get what work I’d missed and all that.”
“Well, he felt really bad that he hadn’t told you not to hurry back.”
“That was nice of him.”
“So is your Dad okay?”
“Yeah, Wills, he’s okay.”
“What about you, are you okay?”
Buffy honestly didn’t know how to answer that. She didn’t know howshe felt. Was that possible to not know how you felt? Was she okay? Or was the absence of feeling cause for alarm?
“I’m okay.”
“When is your Dad coming home?”
“Sometime today as long as the doctor’s okay it.”
“You must be relieved.”
“I am.”
“Where was he when it happened?”
Buffy worried her bottom lip with her teeth for a second. “At the office. I was with him . . . he uh, he collapsed in my arms.”
Willow gasped. “Oh my God, Buffy, you must have been so scared.”
“I was, yes.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t think so . . . “
“Do you want me to come over later? Or maybe we could meet at the library and I could give you my notes for class?”
“Actually Willow that would be great.” Buffy heaved a sigh of relief. “How about I call you later after my Dad is home?”
“Sure, that sounds fine, take your time.”
“Thanks Wills.”
“Take it easy and I’ll talk to you later.”
*******************************
Later that day when she’d finally found the energy to get up and go, Buffy arrived at her father’s office to collect what he needed. She chatted with the very kind receptionist who told her that Mr. Madden was already in his office doing the very same thing she’d come to do.
Shuffling down the hall, she poked her head in Hank’s office and found William rifling through some files and making a pile in a box on the desk.
“Hey,” she greeted him, coming into the room.
He turned and smiled broadly at her. “Hey, you. What are you up to?”
“Same thing you are. Getting my Dad’s things?”
“Yeah, I figured it was the least I could do,” William said, gazing at the stack of files. “I’m wondering if some of this work can be pawned off onto the others.”
“Party in Hank’s office?”
Both turned to see a shaggy haired brunette with medium build, blue eyes and a smile that contained dimples, standing in the doorway. Buffy recognized him immediately as Lindsey McDonald, one of her father’s partners.
Lindsey focused in on her. “Hey Buffy. How’s your dad?”
“He’s good,” Buffy said, nodding, “He’s coming home in a couple hours.”
Lindsey grinned, “You must be relieved.”
Buffy smiled, “Very. Uh, Lindsey, can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Is it possible that some of my Dad’s work can be taken over? I really don’t want him to jump in full throttle and –“
Lindsey held up his hand, “Say no more. I’ve actually spoken to a few of his clients and done some work for them. Lilah too. I’d be happy to take a look at some of the files and see what I can do. I know there are some clients your father just won’t want to give up, but we can sort through them.”
Buffy heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem. Your Dad is a good man and we want him healthy, don’t we?” Lindsey said, smiling.
“Definitely,” Buffy agreed. “So, um, when would you like me to start?”
Lindsey blinked, “Start?”
“Buffy, you don’t have to –“ William started.
Buffy ignored him, “My father said he wanted me to start working here. Is there an opening?”
Lindsey frowned, “Not really with Lilah or I . . . Maybe he meant with him? Though he has his own secretary. Maybe you could help her? I wish I could be of more help, but I didn’t know anything about it.”
“Is she here today?”
“Buffy—“ William started again.
“She’s not, actually. She’s been ill, well, since your father had his . . . “ Lindsey trailed off. She realized it was hard to say the words ‘heart attack.’ It was as if by the words being spoken it would happen suddenly again.
“I see. Well, I’ll just talk with my Dad and see what he wants me to do.”
“Sounds good. Why don’t you leave the files for now? Lilah and I will wade through them and see what we can take on and you can come by tomorrow and pick up the remainders.”
“Thank you so much, Lindsey,” Buffy said gratefully.
“No problem. And if he needs to speak with any of us, just tell him to call okay?”
“Will do, thanks again.”
Lindsey nodded and smiled and retreated. Buffy turned back to William, feeling relieved, feeling that she’d finally done somethingright. Though, when she looked at William, she got the distinct impression she’d done something wrong by the sour look on his face. “What?”
“Wesley wanted you to stay,” he said, sounding slightly annoyed.
“Yeah, and my father distinctly said that he didn’t want me to,” she retorted.
“He’s fine with us now, Buffy,” William said reasonably.
“Honestly Will, I’d feel more comfortable being here with everything that’s happened. And especially after yesterday.”
“Buffy, I told you, no one blames you for what happened. Under the circumstances-“
“Yeah, well I still feel like an idiot and I think it’d be best if I just started fresh here. I made an ass out of myself Will.”
“So you’re going to run with your tail between your legs and let Drusilla win?”
“No,” she snapped, “I’m not. Besides, I’d like to be here to keep an eye on my father for when he does decide to come back to work.”
William sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “All right.”
“So glad you approve,” she said sarcastically.
He looked up at her, “Hey, I’m on your side here.”
Buffy shook her head, “Just forget it. How is the Bride of Frankenstein? She confess yet?”
“She called out.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “She called out? Wow. She must be scared as hell you’re going to cut her loose. Either that or she’s afraid I’ll run into her and beat the tar out of her with no one there to hold me back.”
William smiled slightly. “You want to take bets?”
Buffy giggled, “No, I’m all set with that.”
He cocked his head to the side, studying her. “You feel better today?”
She shrugged, “I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Yeah, listen, I should get going. I told my Mom I’d go with her to the hospital to get him.”
“Can I come?”
“If you want to,” she shrugged non-committally.
His expression darkened slightly, “Of course I want to.”
“Then, sure. You can meet us there if you want.”
William nodded, “Of course. Right. Maybe when he’s settled in, I could take you out for dinner?”
“Can’t. Meeting Willow to get notes from one of my classes. Need to catch up on my studies.”
He sighed, “Okay. Maybe tomorrow?”
“Maybe.” She glanced down at her watch. “I’m gonna get going. I’ll call you before we leave and you can meet us there.” She turned and started to go.
”Buffy?” William called after her.
She stopped and turned, “Yeah?”
“Do I get a kiss?” he asked, hopefully, looking almost forlorn.
“Oh, sorry,” she said, slightly discombobulated. Rushing to him, she kissed him quickly before he could draw her in further—he didn’t even get the chance to take her in his arms before she was across the room once again. “See you later.”
William stared at the door where she’d retreated from, wondering what was going on in her head and if there was any way to possibly reach her before he lost her completely.
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