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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to everyone who has read and especially those who left reviews. Happy Holidays.
Epilogue

Buffy slept until late morning. By the time she awoke, the house appeared to be empty. She was grateful that Dawn and the others had let her sleep. She hadn’t realized how much she had needed that one night off, and a good long rest. Hadn’t realized how much of a difference it would make in her outlook on life. She had really enjoyed the evening. All of it – from her bath, to her nap, to the party, to the late night patrol to acquire toilet paper. And Spike was a big reason why the evening had been so enjoyable. Even the times she had been angry at him. Wryly she realized that doing things to spite him all evening had perhaps been the most fun of all. She so rarely got the opportunity to tease him anymore.

The house was a little eerie with no one around. Buffy had always thought of this house as Angel’s. But she didn’t know who really owned it. She supposed it could legally belong to Angel. After all, he did own a hotel in L.A.

But wandering around in the house by herself, it suddenly occurred to her that Angelus had lived in this house first, with Spike, Dru and several others. An entire coven of vampires. She wondered what the vampires had used all these rooms for, and who had inhabited them.

She shivered to think that she might have been sleeping on the same bed that Angelus and Dru had slept on. Had they actually slept together? She had never been clear on that, and hadn’t felt comfortable asking Angel. After all, he had been Angelus then, so whatever he did or didn’t do she shouldn’t hold it against him.

For the first time it really hit her how ready she was to exonerate Angel for everything Angelus had ever done, and how difficult it was for her to extend the same courtesy to Spike. She sat by herself for a while in the sun of the courtyard, thinking, and relishing the opportunity to be alone.

The kitchen and main room showed few signs of the party from the night before. Most of the debris had been cleaned away, garbage piled in neat bags by the front door. Spike had obviously stayed up after she had finally gone to bed and spent no little time cleaning up the place. She wondered why he even bothered. She wondered how much longer anyone would be left in Sunnydale to collect the garbage, or anything else.

Sunnydale was falling apart. Even if the apocalypse was averted, she wasn’t sure that the town would ever be the same. The resident’s complacency had finally broken, and people had begun to realize what was going on all around them. Finally seeing the place for the death trap it was, for the most part they had done the sensible thing. They had left town. She almost wished she could have gone with them. Even if they came back. She didn’t think the town would ever fully recover from its loss of innocence.

Finally feeling the weight of the solitude and too much time to think, Buffy figured that the only place left for Spike to be was the basement. It had been almost dawn when she had finally left him to go to sleep. They had had a quiet patrol after the party. They hadn’t met up with anything they couldn’t handle easily, and it had been fun to let off a little steam. Then they had raided a drug store for supplies, and returned with copious amounts of toilet paper.

Upon reflection, it had been one of the better parts of the evening. It had been nice to spend some time with Spike just walking and talking. They hadn’t done that much lately. Come to think of it, they hadn’t done that much ever. But when she looked back at her relationship with Spike, those were the nights that stood out in her memory the most. The nights they had spent just as friends, walking, talking and fighting together.

After last night, with everyone beginning to feel good about Spike again, she wondered if she could dare to let herself begin to feel for him again. Although he was always around, underfoot some might say, she missed the closeness that they had started to form before she had ruined it all. She often wondered what would have happened between them if she hadn’t forced herself on him in that abandoned house.

More importantly, she wondered if they could have a different kind of relationship now. One that involved mutual respect and friendship as well as really great sex. Gods knew she could use a release for all the tension she’d been feeling lately. But she was being selfish again. Thinking only about her own needs; what would make her feel better. It was time to start talking to Spike again, ‘suss’ things out. She smiled to herself as she used Spike’s word. (What does ‘suss’ mean anyway?) The two of them needed to decide together what kind of relationship they would both be comfortable with.

Buffy opened the cellar door and left it open so that there was enough light for her to creep down the stairs. After the snarking was over, she had really enjoyed Spike’s company. She wanted to spend some more time alone with him. Maybe have that ‘talk’ they needed to have. See where things went from there.

No one would notice it if it was another hour or two before she returned to the house on Revello. She was sure that they’d just assume that she was still sleeping. It would be the perfect ending to a perfect evening. Now that she’d had some time to sleep on it, she knew that there was no one else she would rather be with than Spike. He was perfect for her. If only he felt the same way.

The basement was only dimly illuminated by the indirect light from the kitchen window. The small casement windows in the basement itself had been painted over with an opaque paint, letting in only smidgens of light. Between that and the light from the kitchen above, Buffy could just make out the sleeping figure of Spike sprawled out on a huge bed near the back wall, the covers barely concealing his still form. He looked so peaceful and innocent sleeping. Always had. She longed to run her fingers through his hair, hold him tight and tell him how much this evening had meant to her. How much he meant to her.

As she moved closer she almost tripped over something on the floor. At first she couldn’t tell what it was, but when it barely moved when she pushed it with her toe, she bent down to see what was there.

Involuntarily her hand went to her mouth as she took in the debris that littered the floor. Chains. Handcuffs. Whips. Other things she didn’t even want to know the name of.

Shaking, she started quickly back up the stairs.

Why had that stuff been there? Surely Spike hadn’t brought it with him? It hit her hard - despite the soul, despite the fact that beneath the gruff exterior he was a kind and thoughtful man - he was still a vampire. Still part demon, with a demon’s needs and desires. She wasn’t sure that she could handle that now. Certainly she hadn’t been able to handle it last year. Not really. Despite the fact that she had taken to as if she were part demon herself.

No, she wasn’t ready to resume a relationship with Spike. Maybe after everything was said and done, the battle over with. But now, she realized, it would just take too much of her energy and focus away from where it was needed.

She ran up the stairs and out the door into the sunlight and all the way back to her mother’s house without stopping.

She ran so fast that she didn’t hear the cursing that echoed after her.

“Bloody hell! He’s not even here and still Angel somehow manages to get between me and my girl. I knew I should have cleaned up Peaches’ mess down here! Some day I’m gonna kill that Poofter!”

But images of his torturing and dusting Angel were interfering with Spike’s fantasy of having Buffy back in his arms again. It only took a split second for Spike to decide he’d much rather think about having Buffy back than waste even a moment’s thought on Angel. Despite their misunderstandings, Spike felt that the evening had helped bring the two of them closer together. Perhaps there was hope for them after all.


-Finis-





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