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Chapter five


Sunnydale airport, present time


Buffy put her seatbelt on when the ‘Fasten your seatbelt’ sign came on. They were going in for landing. God, she hated to fly. Why hadn’t she taken her car instead of getting in this metal thing where she had absolutely no control over anything? Sure, it would have taken longer, but still.

She leaned back in her seat and inhaled deeply, trying to pull herself together. She could do this. And the butterflies that had taken up living in her stomach had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she, in a few hours, would be face to face with the guy she once thought that she would spend the rest of her life with for the first time since he walked out on her. At least, that was what she was trying to tell herself, without much success.

Buffy frantically chewed on her gum to get the pressure in her ears to subside. She looked out the window, which was a mistake. The ground was closing in on them, and she immediately began hyper ventilating. ‘Go to a happy place’ she told herself mentally, closing her eyes and leaning back in the seat.


Sunnydale, 1998


Buffy was awakened by singing from the hallway. Pretending to be asleep, she peeked out from under the cover as her parents and little sister walked into the room, holding presents and a breakfast tray. It was a Summers tradition that whenever someone had a birthday, that person would get breakfast in bed and presents in the morning.

“We know you’re awake, so stop faking.” Dawn announced, sitting down on the bed, and Buffy’s legs. Buffy pulled her legs from under her sister and sat up against the headboard of her bed.

“So, how does it feel to be eighteen?” Her mother, Joyce, asked, setting the tray on the bedside table.

“Strangely enough a lot like being seventeen.” Buffy said, reaching for a present.

“But it must feel a little different.” Dawn insisted. “I mean, you can vote, and join the army... anything you want. You know, except for drink or buy alcohol, which, by the way, I think is strange. You are mature enough to get married but not to drink.”

“Let’s not give your sister any ideas, OK, Dawn.” Their dad, Hank, said jokingly. “We don’t want her running off to get married and enroll.”

“You don’t have to worry, I have no plans to.” Buffy said, ripping the paper off the present. “I’ve been looking at this for weeks!” She exclaimed, holding up a cashmere sweater. “Thanks, Mom.” She gave her mother a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s from you father too, I just picked it out.” Joyce said.

“Thank you too, then.” Buffy gave her father a hug before returning to the present opening.

“That one’s from me.” Dawn said.

“Thanks, Dawnie.” Buffy said, revealing a newly released movie with one of her favorite actors.

“There will be more presents when your grandparents come on Sunday, but this is it for now.” Joyce said, gathering the wrapping paper from Buffy’s bed.

“Great, let’s eat.” Dawn said, reaching for a sandwich.

*****

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.” Willow and Xander sing-songed as they approached Buffy’s locker. Xander gave Buffy a hug, closely followed by Willow.

“So, how’s the birthday girl? Feel any older?” Xander asked, and Buffy shook her head.

“Not really. And besides, eighteen isn’t really that big.” Buffy shrugged.

“Are you kidding? You’re all growed up!” Willow said.

“Yes, you can now be prosecuted in all fifty states.” Xander offered.

“Gee, thanks for putting it in perspective for me.” Buffy said. “Now I definitely feel old.”

“Oh, poor Buffy, are you having a mid-teen-life crisis?” Willow gave Buffy a compassionate smile and Buffy playfully slapped her arm.

“So, we still on for the Bronze tonight?” She asked and closed her locker.

“Of course, birthday dancing for everyone.” Xander agreed and the trio made their way down the hallway to their first class.

*****

Buffy was standing at her locker after second period when someone covered her eyes from behind.

“Guess who?”

Buffy smiled a little, deciding to play with him.

“I don’t know, could it be... Angel?”

“Not funny.” Spike said, removing his hands. Buffy turned around and gave him a kiss.

“Aw, did I hurt your feelings?” She asked.

“You know he has a thing for you.” Spike countered.

“He does not.” Buffy said. “We’re just friends.”

“Just friends?” Spike huffed. “I’ve heard that one before. Guys like him are not ‘just friends’ with girls like you.”

“ ‘Girls like me’?” Buffy asked, frowning.

“I just meant pretty girls.” Spike said.

“OK, nice save.” Buffy admitted, wrapping her arms around Spike’s neck. “I’m your girl, OK?”

“I know.” Spike nodded, kissing her forehead. “I just get jealous sometimes, ignore me.”

“Well, you have no reason to be jealous, because I’m not interested in Angel.” Buffy assured him.

“That’s good, cause otherwise I’d have to take this back.” He said, pulling a gift bag from behind his back.

“No, don’t take it back, gimme!” Buffy reached for the bag, but he held it out of reach for her.

“What do you say?”

“Please! Pretty please!” Buffy gave him her best puppy eyes and pout.

“That’s cheating, you know I can’t resist.” Spike handed her the bag.

“That was kind of the point.” She admitted, pulling the silvery paper from the bag to reveal the CD ‘Cross Road – Best of Bon Jovi’. “Thank you, I love Bon Jovi.” She said, giving Spike a hug.

“I know you do.” He said, taking the CD from her. “And look, our song is on it.”

She looked at the back of the CD where he was pointing. The song ‘Always’ that they had danced to on their first date was on the CD.

“Well, that just makes it even more special.” Buffy said, smiling.

“Only the best for my girl.”

*****

“Couldn’t you just have called Oz and asked him to bring your purse to the Bronze?” Buffy asked as she followed Willow up the path to the red head’s house.

“No, I really need it. Sorry.” Willow smiled apologetically and opened the front door. “Come on, you can wait in the living room.”

Buffy walked through the hallway to the Rosenberg’s living room. The light was off, so she reached for the switch, only to jump five foot into the air when the light came on.

“SURPRISE!” Oz, Xander, Anya, Spike and some other people from the school yelled at her. The room was decorated with balloons and streamers and on the table was a cake.

“Surprise!” Willow said, coming in behind Buffy.

“You guys did all this for me?” Buffy asked, tears of happiness forming in her eyes.

“Of course, you only turn eighteen once.” Xander said.

“Thank you!” Buffy said, hugging her friends.

“OK, do you wanna do cake or presents first?” Anya asked.

“Need you ask?” Buffy asked, and everyone turned their attention to the gift table.

Buffy loved all of her presents. She got everything from clothes and CD’s to movies and jewellery. When she had opened all the gifts on the table, Spike handed her another.

“But you already gave me my present.” She said, frowning.

“I gave you one of your present, this is the second one.” Spike said.

Buffy removed the wrapping paper and found a diary looking book with leather covers.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

“Open it.” Spike encouraged her and she did.

“ ‘Remember tonight... for it is the beginning of always’.” Buffy read out loud from the first page.

“I put together poems and quotes that I thought you would like.” Spike said, looking at the floor. “I know it’s kind of lame, but...”

“It’s not.” Buffy cut him off. “I love it.” She kissed him, forgetting that they were in a room full of their friends.

“Time for cake!” Anya announced, breaking them apart.

*****

After presents and cake, they continued to the Bronze where the group split up, leaving Buffy, Spike, Willow, Oz, Xander and Anya alone.

A few hours later found the three couples dancing to a slow song that the live band was playing.

Buffy sighed and leaned her head against Spike’s shoulder. They had been dating for almost three months now, and she felt like it was time to move their relationship to the next level. She was still a virgin, she wanted her first time to be with someone she loved. And she loved Spike, and she was was pretty sure he loved her too, but since the time in the car, he hadn’t brought up the subject of sex, and she was too shy to.

“You staying at Willow’s tonight?” Spike asked, and Buffy pulled back to look at him. She saw the question in his eyes and wondered if he could read her mind.

“I don’t have to.” She replied, knowing Spike’s dad was out of town for the weekend.

“What if your mom calls?” Spike said.

“She won’t.” Buffy responded. “And if she does, Willow would cover.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to. And we don’t have to, I mean we could just sleep.” Buffy couldn’t help but smile at his insecurity.

“What if I want to?” She whispered before pulling him down for a kiss.

The lights came on in the club and they made their way over to Willow and Oz.

“You ready to go?” Willow asked Buffy.

“Yeah, we’re ready.” Buffy replied. “But I thought that maybe... I mean if it’s OK with you...”

“I’ll tell your mom your asleep or in the bathroom or something.” Willow said. “You two go have fun. But not too much fun.”

“Thanks Wils.” Buffy gave her friend a hug.

“And call me tomorrow, I want details!” Willow whispered so the guys couldn’t hear. “And be careful.”

They said goodbye and Buffy and Spike made their way to his car. The ride to Spike’s house was made in silence, both of them nervous.

After turning the ignition off, Spike walked around to open the door for Buffy. He took her hand in his and they walked into the house and up the stairs. When Spike closed the door to his room behind them, Buffy bit her lip and looked at the floor. Spike put a finger under her chin and raised her face up for a kiss.

“It’s OK, you can still change your mind.” He said after pulling away from her. “Like I said, we can just sleep.”

“No, it’s just... I haven’t... before.” Buffy said, blushing a little. “I’m just nervous.”

“Me too.” Spike admitted.

“You’re nervous? But I thought you had, you know...”

“Well, yeah, but this... it’s different.” He said, looking her deep in the eyes.

“Really?” Buffy asked and Spike nodded.

“I love you, you know that right?”

“I know, I love you too.” Buffy replied less than a second before Spike covered her mouth with his. All of a sudden, Buffy felt completely relaxed. This was right, she could feel it.

Time seemed to stop as the kiss deepend. Hands roamed over skin and clothes and Spike pulled Buffy down on top of him on the bed.

‘Too many clothes’ Buffy thought and tugged at Spike’s shirt. He sat up to pull it off, removing her top as well. They both kicked off their shoes and Spike turned them so he was on top.

Buffy tried to hide her semi-nude upper body, but Spike pulled her hands away.

“Don’t, let me see you.” He said, kissing her on the mouth before travelling lower, licking and kissing his way down her throat. He kissed her breasts through her lace bra before reaching behind her to remove it.

Buffy gasped as Spike covered one of her breasts with his mouth. She needed to be closer to him, skin on skin, so she reached for his belt, but failed to remove it. To help her, Spike stood up and removed his pants and socks. Buffy inhaled deeply when she realized he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“You OK?” He asked, returning to her on the bed.

“Mm-hm, I’m fine.” She replied.

“Are you sure? Cause we can still stop, if you want to.” Spike said, observing her closely.

“No.” She said, pulling him down on top of her again. Their lips met and Buffy melted into the embrace. She felt Spike’s hands wander down her body to the hem of her skirt. She reached down to unzip it and let him know it was OK, and he pulled the skirt down her legs along with her pantyhose, leaving her in nothing but her panties.

“Beautiful.” He whispered, running his hand up her thigh, making her shudder. He reclaimed his position on top of her, and Buffy shifted a little to allow him closer. He moaned as she rubbed against him, and she could feel how hard he was, with nothing more than her underwear separating them.

Spike kissed her, and she opened her mouth letting their tongues meet. His hand slipped between them, and he stroked her through the material of her panties. When he slipped one finger under the piece of clothing and inside her, Buffy moaned into his mouth.

“Feel good?” Spike asked, pulling back a little.

“God, yes.” Buffy replied, moving her hips in time with his finger’s movements. “Need... more.”

“Are you sure?” Buffy could only nod, and Spike moved away from her, retrieving a condom from his wallet. Kneeling on the bed, he pulled her panties off before putting the condom on. He laid down on top of her again, leaning on his elbows. “Just relax, OK. It’ll hurt a little at first.”

Buffy nodded again and Spike leaned down and kissed her. She returned the kiss as she felt him push inside her. When he broke through her barrier, she gasped into the kiss and fisted her hands against the shot of pain. But it didn’t hurt as much as she had thought it would, and the pain was soon replaced by a more pleasurable feeling. Spike had stopped moving as soon as he was fully inside her, and now he pulled back to look at her.

“You OK?” Buffy nodded and moved her hips experimentally. “Oh, don’t do that.” Spike said, grabbing her hips to keep her still.

“Why? Did I hurt you?” Buffy asked startled and Spike chuckled.

“No, definitely not.” He said, kissing her lightly. “But we don’t want the show to end before it even started, do we?” He pulled out a little only to thrust back in again. Buffy gasped at the new, and rather nice, sensation.

“Like that?” Spike asked, continuing his movements. Buffy nodded and pulled him closer so that almost every part of their bodies were touching. Spike caressed her leg before wrapping it around his waist. Buffy mimicked the motion with her other leg, and they both moaned as the new angle allowed Spike to hit a spot deep within her.

As if they had always been together, their bodies started moving in sync in a rhythm as old as life itself. Tongues battled and hands roamed, in search for the release they both needed.

Buffy felt her body tense up before she fell apart, followed by Spike a few seconds later. He collapsed on top of her, and they breathed heavily. Not wanting to crush her, Spike rolled them both over so he was underneath and took the opportunity to pull the cover over them. Buffy laid her head on his chest, listening to the fast beat of his heart.

“That was...” She started, not finding a suitable word.

“Amazing?” He suggested and she nodded.

“Yeah, at least.” She agreed, suddenly getting self-conscious. “Was I... OK?”

“OK? Did that seem like just OK?” Spike asked, frowning. “Baby, you were incredible.”

“Really?” She turned so she could look at him.

“Really.” He said, caressing her cheek.


Sunnydale airport, present time


Buffy shook the daydream–turned–sex fantasy away when the pilot’s voice sounded through the plane. Since when did she fantasize about their time together? Sure, it had been good, but it wasn’t like she had lived like a nun for the past seven years. There had been other guys after him. ‘But it was never the same’ a little voice inside her head insisted. No, it hadn’t been the same since, she admitted to herself. But that wasn’t because of the sex itself, it was because she had never trusted anyone the way she had trusted him. And she never would again.

Buffy unbuckled her seatbelt as soon as the sign came off. She hurriedly gathered her things and followed the other passengers off the plane, heading for the baggage claim. When she had gotten her suitcase she continued through the doors to the waiting area. She looked around for Willow, but heard her before she spotted her.

“Buffy, Buffy, over here!” Buffy turned to find her friend jumping up and down a few feet away and quickly made her way over.

“Hi, Wils.” Buffy greeted, and the two friends hugged.

“It’s so good to see you!” Willow said, grabbing Buffy’s back pack.

“It’s really good to see you too.” Buffy replied.

“Come on, I’ve got the car out front.” Willow said, heading for the exits. “So, how does it feel to be home?”

“Actually, pretty good.” Buffy replied, and realized it was true. She was home.





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