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“Not anymore Buffy. I’ve changed.”

“No. You’ve got a chip, that’s all.”

“That is not bloody all, damnit.” He yelled, knowing she would never understand. That dream, that damn dream.

“Then what Spike? Tell me. What happened that made you a different…thing? I don’t start about Drusilla because then…”

“It’s not...about Dru.” He interrupted, looking at his feet again.
“It’s you Buffy, you did something…I don’t know. I had this dream about you and…”

“What kind of dream.” Buffy backed away a little, not sure if she wanted to hear this, but awfully curious.

“Forget it, I just…”

“What dream, Spike?”

He would have blushed if he could, but knew he would have to tell her now.
Making sure the window was still a bit open so he could run if things would turn out the way he predicted them to, and he took a breath before he started to talk.

“I had a dream about us, the night after I tried to get the chip out.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he held up his hand to silence her.

”You tried to stake me, but you couldn’t do it…and then I kissed you.”

“Spike...”

“And then you pulled away, but realized you wanted it and kissed me again.”

“Spike…”

“And you told me you loved me. And I told you I loved you.”

“My god…”

“And then I woke up, feeling all kinds of things.”

He remembered the things he had felt, waking up in the late afternoon next to the girl he was using so bad, and not even liking it.

He had had the most raging hard on, and a whole lot on his mind. He had been so frightened by the realization that he in fact felt something for her: The Slayer. That he wanted to kiss her and touch her, and make love to her.

He wanted to cover her with his whole being to take away all the pain, and the burden. And it was absolutely terrifying. She was his mortal enemy for god sake. He was suppose to kill her. Or at least hate her.

She was also the reason Dru had left him, because she had been the only thing on his mind since the night he had laid eyes on her in the Bronze. He had fought it, and tried everything to forget, but there was no use. And Dru had known.

So he had picked out a blond girl to take out his sexual frustrations on. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine it was Buffy, looking up at him with her big green eyes. But it had never been enough to take away his need, or his….love. Thinking about that last one always made him feel a bit queasy: Damn, he had changed so much. Or perhaps not enough.

“It was just a dream.”

“But the feeling behind it: It’s real Buffy.”

“You’re a vampire, you can’t…” But she couldn’t finish that sentence. Christ had told her that she had loved him before, and after the soul.

That would mean he could love her, could feel for her, without his soul. Comparing him with Angelus was imposable.

That was too weird, and too confusing to get into right now. She needed to sort things out in her own head first.

“Why don’t we sit down, and try to figure out what to do next.”

He considered her proposal extremely nice, especially since he had just spilled how he really felt about her. He had hoped she would at least get into it, and wouldn’t be tossing it aside the way she did, but he already felt blessed that she wasn’t kicking him out, head first.

“What happens between us in the near future that will make us…..a couple? I mean, it sound so crazy.”

They sat together on the bed. Close, but not touching.

“Well, I can’t pretend I am not surprised, but you know…We do live in a crazy world.”

She smiled a little at that, and he felt something stir inside of him.
“Yes, yes we do.”

“Don’t you think you have to talk to your soldier boy about this?”

“Spike, please don’t….”

But he was right. My god, what was she going to tell Riley. What was she going to tell everybody?

“I’m sorry pet, that was inappropriate. But you’re going to tell him right?”

“Well yeah, I can’t pretend nothing happened.”

She looked at him from her side on the bed, but when she stared right into his kind eyes, she turned away.

“Chris didn’t seem to like him very much.”

That comment made her laugh out loud, as she remembered the look of horror on her daughters face, and the way she had refuse to shake his hand.

“She sure has your manners.” She grinned, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I guess. But…”

“I’ll talk to Riley, Spike. But that is none of your business.”

“Right.”

He realized that pushing her was going to drive her away, so he decided to shut his mouth for the first time in his life. If he played his card right, this could turn out to become something really good.

“So, what’s with your mum?”

Suddenly the mood changed, and Buffy jumped of the bed, facing him.

“I have no idea, but it really worries me. What do you think she meant?”

She spoke to him like she would have to one of her friends, and he knew that it was just because she was scared, and in the same situation. And, liked by her mother. Still he couldn’t help feeling another one of those stirs.

“I don’t know pet. But Chris does, and she is here to make it ok, remember? She will not let anything happen, I’m sure.”

His words seemed to work, because she relaxed a little and leaned back against the wall across him.

“And what about…our other child. Our son.”

“I know. We are going to have a son too. It’s like…to good to be true.” He smiled, not getting her point.

“I know, I know….But he will die. He will die at an early age, and by the way Chris reacted….It was bad. It was really bad.”

Her voice shook a little, and he flinched. She was right. His baby’s had gone trough a hell they couldn’t even begin to imagine. And he hadn’t been able to protect them. He had failed.

“That’s not going to happen again. I don’t know if you are in or out, Buffy. But I can’t do this to her ….them again. If things are going to be so fucked up, and we are able to stop it, than you are insane if you think I am just going to sit here and do nothing. It was your wish Buffy, and it came true. I’ll say we help her with this and make a change.”

He stood up to underline his words, and she looked up in surprise, before worrying her bottom lip and staring outside her widow.

“It is all going so fast. I don’t know Spike. I don’t know how much I like this.”

“That’s not really the issue here, now is it?”

“No, it’s not.”

The sky had turned to a shade of pink, orange and purple and Buffy wondered where the night had run off to. Spike suddenly felt a burning sensation on his skin, and rolled of the bed to get out of the light. Was it morning already?

The alarm clock on the nightstand told them it was indeed 7.00 A.M.

“Could you close the curtains pet, I’m burning up here.” She heard him yelp, as he tried to cover up as much as exposed flesh as he could with his coat.

“Right.” And the room was once again covered in shade, as she closed them with a sigh.
“You better go, since the night is over and I have things to do. We’ll talk later.” She mumbled, making a list of the things she had to do in her head.

1. Talk to Riley.
2. Figuring out what to tell Riley
3. Call Giles, and tell him you can’t do research today.
4. Take mum to the hospital for a cat scan

That last one was very important, even though she did not have a clue why it was.
She had also decided not to tell Giles right away, because she knew he would turn it into one big experimental dimension thing and that hey had to figure out reversing spell or something like that. And after all she had seen and heard, she could, and would not handle it like it was just another Tuesday night.

“Don’t think so, slayer. The sun is already up. You can’t expect me to run all the way to the cemetery with just a blanket. I will be dust two blocs from here, if I’m lucky.”

“What, it’s not like you haven’t done that before?”

“That was always a ten minutes before the sunrise: The first 3 minutes are still bearable, and the last few I always have to sprint. And it is a 15 minute walk. It’s already too late.” He assured her with a cocked eyebrow and a grin. He was stuck here…..and he liked it.

“Fine, then stay. I’ve got to go. You stay in here, and don’t touch anything.”

“Can I at least go downstairs? I want to watch TV.” He whined to push her buttons. He couldn’t help it, it was just so amusing.

Buffy groaned and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’m going out to deal with some stuff anyway, so you will be alone. If I catch you doing something bad or evil, you will be extremely sorry, ok?”

“I will be good, promise.” He smiled sweetly, trying to look innocent. He caught her smiling briefly, just before she turned around.

“I’m going to have some breakfast and a shower.”

“I’ll join you.”

“What?!”

“Well, I know you don’t have blood, but some texture won’t hurt me.”

“Oh, ehm….right.”

A blush crept up her face, and he grinned as he followed her into the kitchen. He had seen the shocked look on her face when she had though he wanted to join her in the shower. Not that he would have said no.

As he said his first step into the beige kitchen, a familiar voice greeted him from behind.

“Spike, what are you doing here?”





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