Title: Wants and Needs
Pairing: Season 2 Spike/Buffy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Part I takes place after Passion, Part II takes place at the beginning of I Only Have Eyes for You, and Part III takes place somewhere during Becoming Parts I & II.
Disclaimers: Dialogue borrowed from I Only Have Eyes for You and the Becoming episodes. I own nothing. Thank you to Joss for letting me play without being sued.
Gift for: reciprocity_, who wanted cannon, w/ bite/claim & NC17
Beta’d: yes
Finished: yes

Part III

“I will drink, the blood will wash in me, over me, and I will be cleansed. I will be worthy to free Acathla. Bear witness, as I ascend, as I become. Everything that I am, everything that I’ve done has led me here. I have strayed, I’ve been lost, but Acathla redeems me. With this act, we will be free.”

“Now comes the exciting part. Wish I had some popcorn.”

“Quiet, Spike,” Angelus snapped. He wrapped a hand around the handle of the sword and pulled with all his might. Instead of the sword sliding out of the stone, Acathla rejected him by shooting a spark through the handle that sent him flying back.

“Someone isn’t worthy,” Spike sang, a smile on his lips. “Whatever will we do now?”

“Damn it!”

“Oh! This is so…disappointing!” Drusilla exclaimed, her body shaking.

“It’s alright, kitten,” Spike said, holding a hand to her lower back as she pouted. “I’m sure your daddy has something else up his sleeve.”

“There must be something I missed! The incantations, the blood... I don't know!”

“Okay, maybe he doesn’t have a clue...”

“Shut up, roller boy!” Growling, Angelus put on his coat. “We will have our Armageddon, Dru, I will promise you that much.”

“Where you heading, mate?”

“He’s going to her,” Drusilla giggled, clapping her hands like an excited child. “He’s going to the Slayer!”

“So, you can play some more mind games with the girl? Isn’t that getting old for you yet?”

“Oh, we’re done with playing. I’m going to kill her.”

“No one’s ever thought up that one before…”

“I need blood. Blood from someone who’s worthy, and who could be more worthy than a Slayer?”


“No, no, stay back. I’m good.”

“You are not good,” Buffy said, helping Xander to his feet. “You don’t have to patrol with me. You know that, don’t you?”

“I was doing just fine before that vamp pushed me.”

“You tripped, Xand. Over your own feet.”

“Yeah, well, what do you know?”

“He won’t show up. He hasn’t all week.”

“He will now. You just gave yourself a dozy of a jinx there, missy.”

“Come on, Xander. I’ll walk you home.”

“No, I’m the male, that’s my job.”

“Heel, boy,” Buffy giggled. “Okay, if you insist, you can walk me home.”

“I do insist. Angel could be anywhere. Behind any tree, under any rock…” Xander said, looking to the right and left before taking his next step through the cemetery. “You have to be especially careful since we know about the you-know-what.”

“The you-know-what may not even work.”

“Either way, if you-know-who finds out about the you-know-what, we’ll be in danger.”

“He won’t find out,” Buffy promised. “Not unless,” she stopped, a sudden shiver shooting through her body, “not unless…Xander, can you wait here for a sec?”

Not waiting for an answer, Buffy walked into the woods.

“Buffy? What’s going on?”

“Didn’t I tell you to wait?”

“Yeah, but--.”

“Shhh,” she hissed, raising her hand up. “I guess he’s gone now.”


“Nobody. Maybe we should head home.” Scanning the woods one last time, Buffy led Xander back into the cemetery.

“Mom? I’m home!”

Walking into the kitchen, Buffy wasn’t surprised to see that the red light on the answering machine was flashing. “Looks like it’s going to be another late night at the office for mom...”

Pressing the button, Buffy listened to the message as she gathered a non-fat yogurt from the refrigerator.

“You can come out now.”

“How’d you know that I was here?”

“It’s what we Slayers do.” Buffy turned to look at her guest. “Don’t think that I’m not glad to see you, but why are you here? Oh, wait, no, let me guess. Your watcher informed you—” clearing her throat, Buffy did her best to imitate Kendra’s accent, “—dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale.”

“That would be correct,” Kendra replied with a grin. “I’m here to help you out.”

“Great. God knows I’ll need it. Come on,” Buffy sighed, putting her yogurt away. “I’ll get the sofa set up for you and fill you in on the info on that very dark power.”

Buffy was almost asleep when she heard three taps on her window. “Go away. I’m sleeping.”

“Didn’t I tell you to put a lock on this window?”

“Then how would you be able to break into my room?”

“I’d use the door like a normal person.”

“You’re dead, Spike. There’s no way that you could ever be classified as normal.”

“Who’s sleeping downstairs?” Spike asked, sitting on the edge of Buffy’s bed. “It isn’t your mother.”

“It’s Kendra.”

“Who is?”

“Haven’t you met her? She’s my Slayer gal pal. I’m Chosen One and she’s Chosen Two.”

“You’d better keep an eye on her, pet.”

“Why? What’s Angel up to now?”

“The usual ‘let’s open the big rock’ deal.”

“So, the ritual didn’t work?”

“He couldn’t get the sword from the stone. He thinks his blood is bad. Have you seen him tonight?”

“I think you’d be able to tell if I had.”

“You and the girl should be safe for now. Just promise me that you’ll stay in for the rest of the night.”

“I promise,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “Are you spending the night?”

“Doubt it.”

“Oh, okay. Good night then.” Pulling the covers to her neck, Buffy closed her eyes. “Let yourself out.”

“I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

“We’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be here at sundown.”

“Okay, if you insist.” Buffy smiled a faint smile when he kissed her forehead and pressed his lips briefly to her cheek. “You sure you can’t stay?”

“I can’t sneak out every night and come home stinking of Buffy.”

“Hey, I don’t stink.”

“You have a very distinct smell, one that our friend Angelus is very familiar with. I’m sure when you kissed him he got reacquainted with your unique aroma.”

“I didn’t kiss him because I wanted to, I did it because I had been possessed by a ghost.”

“You expect me to believe that?” he teased with a snort. “You still claim that you don’t want to kiss me either.”

“I don’t.”

“That’s my girl, she who can’t escape her land of denial and delusions.”

“I’m not your girl. I’m nobody’s girl.”

“No? Well, you’re definitely the pain in my ass. That’s one fact we don’t have to put up for debate.”

Buffy’s heart sped up involuntarily at the sounds of Spike’s clothing being shed and dropped to the floor. “You’re a jerk.”

“Scoot over. You already naked under there?”

“I’m not having sex with you.”

“You always say that. You’ve said it every sodding day since the storage closet and every day what happens?”

“Can’t remember. I block it all out.”

“Liar, liar,” Spike sang, spooning against her back. “If your little friends bring his soul back, how will you explain this to your boyfriend?”

“We aren’t supposed to talk about that.”

“Angelus isn’t listening in. He doesn’t have the room bugged. Tell me what you’ll say. How will you define us?”

Buffy swallowed, finding it difficult to think as he touched her body with such familiarity. He knew where to caress to make her tremble; he knew exactly what to do to make her weak in the knees. “I thought this was staying between the two of us.”

“Would you say that we were friends?”

“You give me information.”

“I protect you.”

“I guess.”

“You know that I do,” he whispered. “You sense me.”

Not able to form words, Buffy nodded. She knew that he was watching her: keeping Angelus from finding her and making sure that she wasn’t in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“I keep you safe. You feel safe with me, don’t you, Buffy?”


“You like the way that I make you feel. That’s why you never push me away. You can’t resist me,” he chuckled, licking the scars that he’d placed on her neck.

“You can’t resist me either.”


“Will you be okay with just leaving me when this is done? Will you take your girlfriend back, the one who cheated on you? The one who you’re cheating on?”

“I love her,” Spike said, stopping his hands. “Drusilla’s always loved me. Our love is eternal. Angelus—even you, Slayer—you can’t mess that up.”

“You should go.”

“I will not.”

“You will if I toss you out the window. One scream and Kendra will dust you. She’s never been one to ask questions when it comes to vampires.”

“You asked me to stay. I’m staying.”

“I asked if you were staying.”

“I’m not leaving you. Not until I have to, alright?”

“Spike,” Buffy groaned once he opened her legs wide and pushed inside her from behind. “You shouldn’t--.”

“Why this sudden case of conscience, pet? Did you really forget about Dru?”

“Don’t talk about her. Not now.”

“You’re jealous.”

“You’re with me.”

“I am,” he laughed while pressing kisses into her neck. “Can’t deny that.”

“I don’t know the big difference between eternal love and normal love, but if you were my boyfriend, I’d kill you if you cheated on me.”

“Possessive, aren’t you? Didn’t know you’d be so greedy. You’d want me all to yourself?”

“Duh.” Finding his hand, Buffy placed it on her chest, silently urging him to touch her breasts. “I don’t know what kinda bizarre-o logic that vampires live by, but I would not put up with a communal boyfriend.”

“I don’t cheat on her.”

“Oh really?”

“Well, other than this, but she cheated first.”

“She shouldn’t have done that.” Twisting, she looked into his blue eyes before giving him a kiss. “She shouldn’t have hurt you like that if she really loves you. I wouldn’t hurt you intentionally...if you were mine—m-my boyfriend, I mean.”

When he didn’t say a word, she moved his hand again so it rested between her legs. “Please?” she whispered, feeling awkward. When he began rubbing her clit, she sighed in relief and forced herself to keep talking. “Spike...if Giles and Willow can bring Angel back...it’s a really big if...I’ll tell him that you were my friend.”

“I’ll tell him that you were here for me when I needed someone. You understood what I was going through and for a few weeks you were mostly sweet...y-you were good to me and I’ll never forget how you helped me, how you saved my life.”


“Fine, don’t talk to me.”

Upset by his silence, Buffy grinded against him and made every attempt to stay hushed as she brought him to orgasm, leaving herself unsatisfied.

“Now, you can go.” Flinging his arm aside, she scooted to the opposite side of the bed.

Buffy waited for a few minutes, terrified that if she looked at him too soon that she’s burst into tears.

“Do you know how hard it was to say those things to you? Do you know how hard it’ll be for me to just let you go? I’m not good at this affair stuff. I’ve never done it before, and, uh… Spike, I didn’t want to say this, but, I--.”

Buffy rolled over mid-sentence and frowned, realizing that Spike was gone and that she was alone.

Buffy couldn’t concentrate. The lecture that her teacher was giving was a bore and she struggled not to fall asleep, knowing that if she closed her eyes for a moment, she’d dream about Spike.

Can’t think about him, Buffy thought, thumbing through her spiral notebook. Can’t think about him. Can’t think about…

Buffy paused, a page of doodles in her notebook catching her eye.

Can’t think about him either.

With a sad smile, she touched the words: Buffy & Angel = Forever!

“Tonight. Sundown. At the graveyard.”

At the sound of the gravely voice, Buffy looked up to see a female vampire walking across her classroom. She was wrapped in a blanket, but the sun shining into the room caused her skin to steam.

“Excuse me?” Buffy’s teacher began, “What are you--.”

“You will come to him,” the vampire said, dropping her blanket. “You will come to him or more will die! Tonight! His hour is at hand!”

“She exploded in the middle of my class.”


“Poof. Dust everywhere. My teacher was so freaked.”

“Well, it’s understandable.”

“I need to go to him, Giles. She said more would die.”

“Buffy, are you sure?”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“It’s strange,” Giles mused, pushing up his glasses, “Angelus has been lying rather low lately…”

“Yeah, well, he’s not any longer. While I’m gone, Kendra will watch over you guys. And look, as long as Angel’s fighting me, then he can’t try the ritual again.”


“I mean, he can’t do it at all. I’ll distract him. Meanwhile, you and Will can try the curse.”

“It may not work…you shouldn’t get your hopes up too high, Buffy.”

“My hopes are low, way low—below sea level. If the curse does or does not work, I know I’ll have to fight him. I also know that Angel will die if we can’t restore his soul. I know that I’ll have to kill him. It sucks and I hate the thought of losing him…but then I think he’s been gone for awhile now and…”

“You’re accepting it?”

“More or less,” she admitted with a sad smile.

“Just keep him at a distance. If the curse succeeds, you’ll know. Be careful.”

“I always am,” Buffy said, catching Giles’s eye before heading out of the library.

“You shouldn’t go.”

“Are there any shadows that you aren’t lurking in?”

“Angel’s up to something and he wouldn’t tell me what.”

“Move out of my way.”

“About last night--.”

“I do not have time for this.”

“We need to talk.”

“We could’ve talked last night.”

“You told me to leave.”

“And since when do you listen to me?”

“I couldn’t—will you wait up?” With his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, Spike followed Buffy down the sidewalk. “He won’t fight you! This isn’t the big fight!”

“What do you mean?”

“You think after all this—Buffy,” touching her arm, Spike willed her to face him, “pet, it can’t be this easy. You think he’d let it end with a fair fight? You and him in a cemetery? Where’s the fun in that? Where are the fancy weapons, the dramatics, the--.”

“Maybe you don’t know everything.”

“Maybe you should trust me.”

“What exactly are you suggesting?”

“Think of this as a trap for one minute. Who would he be after, other than you?”

“I don’t know…my mom…my…friends?”

“See, it’s never about you. Give him a choice between hurting you and killing you and he’ll pick hurt every single time. Old dogs can’t pull new tricks out of their asses you know. He plays out the same routine over and over.”

“Okay, you have a point. But which would he choose?”

“Which is closest to here?”

“The library. Giles and the others are trying out the curse.”

“Go there.”

“Come with me.”

“You sure?”

“I’m still mad at you, but you promised that we’d do this together.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Clearing his throat, Spike acted casual as he reached for Buffy’s hand.

“Spike,” she laughed, “what the hell are you doing?”

“Nothing. Lead the way, Slayer.”

Buffy walked through the library doors and stopped abruptly, causing Spike to walk into her back.

The library was in ruins. Most of the shelves were toppled over and books were scattered everywhere.

“Kendra,” Buffy whispered, seeing her friend lying on the floor beside the counter, blood was pooling around her body. “Kendra!”

Running and falling to her knees, Buffy took Kendra’s lifeless hand against her chest. “Spike,” she said, her voice strained, “she—Drusilla did this, didn’t she?”

“Freeze! Put your hands up! Back away from the girl slowly!”

Spike inched to Buffy’s side, his eyes on the police officer and his hands still in his pockets. “There are two others, pet. Both are unconscious, both bleeding.”

“Two? What about--.”

“Freeze!” The police officer shouted again, a gun in his hand which was pointed at Buffy.

“Can I take care of this?” Spike asked, pointing to the men. “It’ll just take a second.”

“This one’s dead,” a second officer said, looking down on Kendra.

“What about up there?”

Following the first officer’s point with his gun, Buffy gasped once she saw Xander on the floor. “Xander!”

“Do not move!”

“I need to see if he’s okay! Please!”

“Come on, just say the word,” Spike said. Glaring at the police officers, he bounced on the balls of his feet, ready for a fight. “You don’t have to put up with this rot.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, she does.”

“Who are you?”

“Snyder,” Buffy answered faintly. “God, help me. He’s my principal.”

“Do you know these people?”

“I know the girl, officer. Miss Buffy Summers. If there’s any trouble at this school, she’s behind it. I knew this day would come. And after you’re done with her, it’ll bring a smile on my face to expel her from my school--.”

“You stupid little troll!”

“Attitude problem, you see? She suffers from a serious attitude problem.”

“She wasn’t behind this, you twit. We just showed up.”

“And who are you?”

“A witness and her alibi,” Spike said, stepping closer to principal Snyder even though the police shouted and cocked their guns.

“Oh, yes. You look like a credible source.”

“You’ve got some nerve--.”

“Spike!” Buffy screamed, grabbing his shoulder before he could vamp. “Let’s get out of here. Now.”


“I can’t get into trouble. You kill them…Spike, my life will be over.” Staring him in the eyes, Buffy ignored the police officer that came to her with handcuffs. “Let’s go,” she pleaded, under the sounds of the cop telling her she had the right to remain silent.

“Alright. I won’t kill ‘em, but I can promise you that each of them will get hurt a little.”

“Thank you.”

“There’s no need. It was fun.”

“You’ve got a warped idea of fun.”

“Oh, I saw the twinkle in your eye when I knocked out that principal. What a jerk. You couldn’t have been more right about the troll bit.”

“He’s going to suspend me…”

Hearing Buffy sniffle, Spike wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Shhh. They’ll clear your name sooner or later. You’ve got more important things to worry about now.”

“Yeah, like the damage your girlfriend caused,” she mumbled, hiding her head in his chest. “You must be so proud…”

“She didn’t tell me.”

“But you were right, it was a trap. I shouldn’t have left them. I’m so stupid.”

“Don’t blame yourself.”

“I can’t help it. I’m supposed to protect them.”

“You’ll feel better once you see the boy in the hospital.”

“Come with me?” she asked, reluctantly pulling back from his comforting embrace. “I don’t think…don’t leave me alone right now.”

With his expression blank, Spike watched as Buffy rubbed her wet, red eyes. “I’ll wait outside.”

“Thank you.”

“Xander!” The second the coast was clear, Buffy flung herself on to his hospital bed and brought him close for a hug. “Are you okay? Where’s Giles? Willow?”

“I’m fine. Just broke a few limbs. As for Will…”


Pulling back, he looked at the curtain next to him. “She won’t wake up, Buffy.”

“Oh god.”

“And Giles…they took him.”


“Drusilla and her goons. I heard them talking. They want him to tell Angel how to open Acathla.”

“He won’t—god, they’ll kill him!”

“Buffy--.” Suddenly, Xander yanked her back to his chest with his good arm.

“Uh, Xander?”

“Cops. At one o’clock. Two of them.”

“Crap. You know that they’re after me?”

“I told them it wasn’t you; that you didn’t hurt Kendra…or any of us, but they won’t listen. But what I don’t understand is that they insist that you had an accomplice.”

Buffy stiffened and then stood up straight.

“An accomplice with a British accent, bleached blonde hair—stop me when you feel like explaining this to me.”


“Why was Spike there?”

“H-he helped me. He is helping me.”

“With what? How can you trust him? His girlfriend sliced Kendra’s neck with her fingernail!”


“Xander! Oh my God, Xander!”


Buffy edged to the door as the couple kissed and hugged. “Guys, I need to go find Giles. If there’s any change with Will…” swallowing, she backed up again. “Xander, about Spike…”

“Just go and be careful.”

Spike was on his third cigarette when Buffy reappeared; hand on her hip and fire blazing in her eyes.

“How is he?”

“Do you really care?”

“Well, no, it’s one of the perks of being an evil soulless fiend,” he snorted. When Buffy’s frown deepened, he rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s got you all in a tizzy?”

“Xander’s pretty much in a full-body cast, Willow hasn’t woken up yet, and Giles? Well, Giles has been kidnapped. You wanna guess by whom?”

“No, I pass.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Hey,” Spike said, jogging after her as she took off down the street. “Where are you headin’?”

“Home. I need to change and get my sword.”


“You don’t have to follow me around anymore.”

“Figured I’d take you to the mansion when you’re ready. Bet they’ve got your Watcher there.”

“It’s funny how you’ve been really good at guessing tonight. Too good, Spike.”

“What are you getting at? You think I’m lying?”

“Did I say that?”

“Oh, not the exact phrase, but—fuck, I’m not playing this bloody game. I’m sick of it. Believe me or not, I’m just using my head. One of us has to, since the mighty Slayer turned into a big pile of sobs once her friends got a few boo boos.” Before Buffy could open her mouth, he continued, “They nabbed him for information, right? He’s probably in the living room, next to the statue. I’m sure they won’t kill him. They’ll torture him, but they won’t kill him, not for a few days at least.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Well…yeah,” he shrugged.

“Spike, torture is bad. Normal people do not shrug at the thought of someone that they care about being tortured.”

“Right. Forgot. Vampires are not normal. Hell, Slayer, just because I don’t currently have a conscience, soul or beating heart that doesn’t mean that I don’t remember how those things work. I’m not daft; I know what’s right and what is wrong. I can get that much from watching my fucking television!”

“Then what do you think of your princess now? You came to me once telling me that Angel was a bad guy, how is Drusilla any different? Because she didn’t call you names when you were disabled?”

“Shut your mouth—wait, you want to dust her!”

“Want is putting it mildly!” Once they reached the driveway to her house, she whipped around to confront him. “No matter how much it sickens me that she’ll be free to kill more people while my friend is lying in the ground, I will not dust her!”

“And why not? Because you made a promise? Isn’t that cute--.”

“Because of you!” Buffy yelled, stomping towards him until they were standing nose to nose. “I will let her go because of you! Because you love her! Because I can’t hurt you like that!”

They glared at each other silently with heaving chests until Spike took the first move by crashing his lips onto hers.

“Spike, Spike,” Buffy moaned, clinging to him and savoring what she assumed to be their last kiss. “I need you—I need to tell you--.”

“No, there’s no time for talking.” Pushing her backwards, he propped her back against the tree in her front yard. “Need to be in you one more time. Can’t leave you…can’t leave without having you again.”


“We’ll hurry.”

“I don’t want to hurry. I don’t want to be outside either. I want you in my room and in my bed.”

“We can’t always get what we want.”

“I know. God, I know,” Buffy whimpered, stubbornly keeping her kisses to his face and neck constant as he unzipped their pants. “What if someone sees?”

“They won’t see much. My coat’ll keep you covered.”

“Spike,” Buffy cried at the initial rush of pleasure as he entered her body. Even though she longed to coil her legs around his waist, she couldn’t with her pants around her ankles. “Closer, closer.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. Don’t go so fast.”


“Please? Don’t rush. And, if you want, you can bite me.”

“Bloody hell, you’re driving me insane…”

“Oh, yeah?” she smiled, “Well, you make me crazy too.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, having trouble keeping the tempo of his thrusts slow as she smiled at him so sweetly.

“No, we’ve been over this. We aren’t fucking.”

“Right, right. I’m making love to my Slayer.”


Shifting out of his human face, Spike slid his teeth into the fading scars on her neck. “My Buffy,” he whispered before licking up pearls of her blood.

“Yes,” she purred, closing her eyes as her body shook and trembled. “Spike, I have to say this,” she inhaled deeply, but first signs of Spike coming left her speechless.

“Damn you, Spike… Damn you for making me fall for you…”

“What?” he asked after collapsing. “You say something a second ago?”


“You sure? Could’ve sworn I heard mumbling…”

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to lie to him as he searched her eyes and swept her hair behind her ears, Buffy shook her head again.

“But you wanted to say something, yes?”

“I…I just can’t believe that it’s going to be over soon.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

Buffy swallowed as he slipped away and fixed their pants like nothing had happened.

“After tonight,” Spike continued, “we’ll go; me and Dru will leave the country, since you’re sparing her and all…”

“It’ll be for the best.”

“That’s right.”

“I should…change…get weapons.”

“The clock’s still ticking away.”

Nodding, Buffy headed up the walk to her front door with Spike at her side.



“Buffy! Where have you been?” Joyce Summers demanded, getting out of her car and letting the door slam. “Are you okay? The police were here! I’ve been looking for you!”

“Mom, let’s go inside. I can explain everything.”

“Want me to get your stuff?” Spike whispered, talking into her hair.

“No. You are not leaving me.”

“Buffy, who is this man? The police—didn’t he hurt people tonight? Did you? Did you hurt Xander, Willow--.”

“God, how can you even think that?”

“I don’t know what to think! Terrible, terrible things have happened! What were you doing?”

“She didn’t do a thing, Mrs. Summers. There was a mix up and--.”

“Who are you? Another boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend--.”

“Aren’t you too old to be dating my daughter? Can’t you college boys see women your own age?”

“Mom, get out of his face! He’s not my boyfriend! We’re, we’re,” Buffy shot Spike a panicked look and mouthed ‘help me!’

“We’re…in a band?”

“A-a band! I’m in a rock band with Spike.” Forcing a laugh, Buffy patted his arm, secretly thanking him for playing along. “I just didn’t want to tell you because…you know what they say about rock bands.”


“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

When Spike offered out his hand, Joyce ignored it and kept her eyes on Buffy. “Since when can you play an instrument?”

“Well, she plays the,” after searching for a word, Spike said ‘triangle’ as Buffy blurted out ‘drums.’ “S-she started out on a triangle, Mrs. Summers, but now she’s hell on the ole skins. She can just pound on ‘em all night long.”


“And what do you do?” Joyce asked, crossing her arms.

“Well, I sing.”

“You know what?” Buffy intervened. “Why don’t we go inside? Let’s go inside.”

“I’m not sure that I want him in my house…”

Not paying attention to her mother, Buffy linked her arms with Spike. “Thank you for trying.”

“Your mother, she’s not a nice lady, pet.”

“On three we run.”

“You serious?”

“Very. Okay, one…two…”

Before Buffy could say three, Joyce screamed, causing Buffy and Spike both to turn as a vampire attacked.

Working together naturally, Buffy held the vampire still as Spike punched him in the face. The last blow sent the monster spinning and Buffy stopped it by thrusting a stake into his chest.

“Wow, that-that was…”

“Fucking brilliant.”

“It really was,” Buffy panted, smiling from ear to ear. “Everything just seemed to flow.”

“You felt that too?”

“Excuse me. Buffy…what…is going on here?”

“Mom…I’m a vampire slayer and Spike, well, he’s a vampire.”

“You’re a vampire slayer?”


“You make people explode.”

“They’re not exactly people. They’re demons.”

“This Spike, he’s a demon.”


“So, I have a demon in my living room…okay,” Joyce said, pouring herself a drink. “You’re dating a vampire?”

“Mom, how many times do I have to say that Spike and I are not dating?”

“Okay, okay, you just seem close.”


“It’s alright we’re friends,” Spike smirked, amused when Buffy blushed.

“B-but Kendra, she didn’t seem like a vampire…”

“She wasn’t.”

“So you didn’t kill her.”

“Of course I didn’t kill her! She was a Slayer, mom.”

“Did Spike--.”

“Spike didn’t kill her either, his girlfriend did.”

“But I didn’t have a say in the matter,” he explained. “Dru, she’s—we’ve been having some problems at home and--.”

“Honey, are you sure that you’re a vampire slayer? Have you ever tried not being a Slayer?”


“What? I’m trying to understand this!”

“I don’t have time to repeat myself. I’m the Slayer; can’t you just deal with it?”

“It’s because you didn’t have a strong father-figure, isn’t it?” Joyce asked, staring into space. “We should call the police. I’m sorry Spike, but we need to clear my daughter’s name.”

“It won’t be problem, Mrs. Summers.”

“Yes, it will be problem,” Buffy said, stopping her mother before she could reach the kitchen. “You can’t call the police. Don’t you understand what I just told you? Get them involved, you’ll get them killed.”

“Well, you’re not going to hurt them, are you?”

“You can’t call them.”

“I will call them,” Joyce laughed, walking past to the telephone.

“I’m serious. Cops can’t fight demons. I have to do it.”

“Do what?” Joyce demanded, losing her patience. “Buffy, what is happening?”

“Apparently I can’t talk to you right now,” she answered, rolling her eyes. “Why don’t you just have another drink?”

“Don't you talk to me that way!” Joyce screamed, throwing the phone, causing the bottle of liquor she had been pouring from to crash onto the floor.

“Uh, is everything alright in here?”

“You don't get to just dump something like this on me and pretend it's nothing!”

“I’m sorry. I am so very sorry, but I don’t have time for this.” Giving her mom one last look, Buffy headed to Spike, who was standing under the frame of the door.

“No! I am sick and tired of ‘I don’t have time,’ or-or, ‘you wouldn’t understand!’ I am your mother, and you will make time to explain yourself!”

“I told you. There’s nothing else to explain. I’m a vampire slayer.”

“Well, I just don’t accept that!”


“Buffy,” Spike whispered, suddenly pulling her back against his chest, “you can say three at anytime. We’ll run. I’ll be right behind you.”

“You can’t be serious. What do you think has been going on for the past two years…the fights, the weird occurrences? How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing?”

“Well, it stops now!”

“No, it doesn't stop! It never stops! Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Mom,” Buffy’s voice broke in a sob, “do you have any idea how lonely it is—how dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or...God, even studying! But I have to save the world...again.”

“No. This is insane. You need help.”

“I am not crazy! What I need is for you to settle down for tonight—just tonight, because we have to go.”

“He can go. He should’ve never been invited into our home in the first place, but as for you, I am not letting you out of this house.”

“You can’t stop me--.”

“Oh yes I can!”

“No, no you won’t,” Spike said, edging Buffy backwards once Joyce tried to grab her. “I suggest you keep your hands to yourself.”

“She is my daughter and--.”

“And you’re putting her through hell.”

“You have no right--.”

“You have no right,” Spike shot back. “What is wrong with you? She doesn’t deserve this! She just told you that she saves world on a daily basis—she’s a sodding superhero and you’re calling her insane? Looks like someone won’t be winning the Mother of the Year Award anytime soon.”

“Don’t... You’ll just make it worse.”

“Sod that. We’re leaving, baby.”

Buffy grinned through her tears as Spike kissed the top of her head and led her to the door.

“You walk out of this house, Buffy, don’t even think about coming back!”

“Get me out of here.”

“It’ll be my pleasure.”

“Poor Giles.”


“I should be saving him and not…we shouldn’t be doing this,” Buffy said, pressing light kisses against Spike’s skin. “It’s wrong.”

“From what I’ve seen, he looks like a tough bloke…”

“Giles? Rupert Giles? My Watcher, Giles?”

“If I said he was doomed, would you still be here?”

“I just needed one minute--.”

“Don’t get defensive.”

“So, you aren’t going to say something mean?”

“Even I can demonstrate some restraint every once in a while.”

“You shouldn’t do it often; it’ll make me think that you’ve gone soft.”

“You’ve got stupid hair and when you cry your face is disgusting, like a shriveled up prune.”

Chewing on her lower lip, Buffy giggled into Spike’s ear. “You’re very mean.”

“I’m a fucking bad ass.”

“Yes, you’re that too.”

“We should break up soon. I’ll go in first and you can follow. I’ll need the extra time to get back into my wheelchair.”

“You really know how to ruin a mood,” Buffy sighed, exhaling into his shoulder. “If you wanted me to stop kissing you, you should’ve just--.”

“If I wanted you to stop, I would’ve told you to stop.”

“You don’t have to remind me,” she mumbled, remembering their first time together. “You’re right though, we should split up and the sooner, the better.”

“I’ve never been a fan of emotional goodbyes.”

“What makes you think that it’ll be emotional? What are your thoughts on violent goodbyes?”

“You’d better not hit my nose, that’s all that I’m saying.”

“I won’t.”

“Should we postpone the goodbye then?”

“No, I don’t want an audience.”

“Oh, then our secrets would be out in the open, I get it.”

“Then it wouldn’t be private,” Buffy corrected. “If Drusilla saw me in your lap, clinging to your body and kissing your lips, something tells me that she’d ruin my moment—uh, it’d just ruin everything, okay?.”

“You haven’t fulfilled that last component of your moment yet, baby.”

Snorting, Buffy scooped his face in her hands and kissed his mouth. “Happy?”

“So this is goodbye...”

“Yeah,” she muttered, kissing him again.

“When I see you again, we’re going to pretend that we hate each other.”

“I do hate you--.”


“—just not as much”.

“I’ll back you up any way that I can.”

“I know you will.” Clearing her throat, Buffy stood up, leaving Spike sitting. “I’ll see you soon, I guess.”

“Good luck, Buffy.”

“Good luck.” She smiled softly, forcing herself to walk away.

“What was that?”

“Can’t anyone not sneak up on me? Yesh, I understand Spike because he’s a vampire, but you? You shouldn’t be so stealthy, you should be in the hospital.”

“I broke out. God, Buffy,” Xander hissed, taken back by the sight of Buffy’s red-rimmed eyes. “What’s going on?”

“A lot and it’s not over yet. Should you be here? Is Willow okay?”

“I’m fine and Willow, she’s fine too. She actually wanted me to tell you…”

“Tell me what?” Buffy asked, casually looking behind her.

“Is he still there?”

“Uh, who?”

“Buffy, come on, you just mentioned him. I saw you guys together with the touching and smoochies.”

“Are you pissed?”

“I’ve been pissed all day, so I can’t tell. I don’t feel any different.”

“He’s going to help me fight Angel.”

“So you won’t need any back up?”

“You’re sweet for showing…but if you get hurt…”

“You’ll need someone to drag Giles out. I can do that.”

“With one arm?”

“Oh yeah. It’ll be great. I can so do one-armed heroics.”

“Get him and get out,” Buffy said, pulling a stake from the blanket she was holding and handing it to her friend. “Do not get killed.”

“I’ll try my best not to. What else do you have in there? I’m guessing it isn’t a fuzzy pillow.”

“Just one thing: Kendra’s sword. I figured it’d attract too much attention to just walk around with it. I’m already wanted by the police.”

“Good thinking.”


“So, you and Spike...you’re together?”

“It depends on what your definition of together is.”

“You’re not…dating, right?”

“No, Xander. Worlds of no.”

“But, you don’t hate him anymore?”


“That’s...uh, the word only that keeps popping in my head is ‘bizarre’.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy said blankly. “I was not expecting to not hate him.”

“He’s a pretty hate-able guy...”

“Well, after you get to know him...he, uh, he can be...all I can say is things with Spike are intense.”

“More than with Angel?”


“Sorry, overstepping my bounds. I was channeling my inner gal pal and got carried away.”

“Can you put her on hold? If we don’t get sucked into hell tonight, I’ll be in definite need of a shoulder to cry on. You have no idea…”

“Acathla...Mundatus sum...pro te necavi. Sanguinem meum...pro te effundam...quo me dignum...esse

“Oh, that can’t be good. Chanting in a funny language cannot be good.”

“It isn’t.” Hiding in the shadows with Xander, Buffy watched as Angelus started that ritual to open Acathla. Drusilla was beaming at his side and Spike was in his wheelchair, a few feet away and sitting with his back to Buffy.

“Okay, you get Giles and then you run.”

“Can I fight a little? You gave me this stake and--.”

“No,” Buffy said sternly, stepping out of her hiding place. After Xander ran off to search the mansion, she made her appearance known by decapitating one of Angelus’ nearby lackeys. “Hello, lover.”

“I don’t have time for you. Can’t you see that I’m busy?”

“I don’t think you have much time left.”

“Aren’t you acting a little hasty?” Angel asked, finally facing her. “Look around, you really think you stand a chance here?” You can’t take us all on by yourself.”

“No, I can’t actually.”

“And she doesn’t have to,” Spike growled, leaping up and kicking his chair away. He rushed at Angelus with an iron bar, knocked him to the floor with a blow to the back and laughed bitterly as he hit him repeatedly. “How’s that feel? Painful, daddy?”

“What are you doing?” Drusilla cried out in shock. “Spike, what--.” Instead of finishing, she hissed and jumped onto Spike’s back. “You naughty boy, you must be punished!”

“I don’t think so. If anything, he deserves a prize.” Plucking Drusilla off of Spike, Buffy slammed her against the wall.

“Oh, oh you…”

“Oh, me what?” Buffy punched her in the face and flew back once Drusilla slapped her with an open hand.

“You silly, silly girl. You want him…you love him.”

“I do not!”

“Yes.” Giggling, Drusilla matched and blocked Buffy’s attack until she found herself in a chokehold.

“You do not know how I feel!”

“He’s claimed you…but…but he’ll never love you as he’s loved me. Our love is eternal.”

“She’s right, Slayer.”

At the sound of Spike’s voice, Buffy took a quick inhale of breath.

“Let her go, pet.”

“See?” Drusilla purred once Buffy released her neck. “He’s mine.” With a smug grin, she ran a fingernail along Spike’s cheekbone, cutting his face and drawing blood to the surface. “He loves me.”

Once Drusilla leaned in towards Spike, Buffy lowered her eyes, not caring to watch as Drusilla licked his cheek. “You’ve really got to get those nails clipped. I can I recommend a good dog groomer?”

Drusilla hissed in reaction to her joke, but to Buffy’s surprise Spike snickered. “Good one, sweetheart.”


Not answering, Spike elbowed Drusilla in the face. “You might want to check on Angelus.”


“Get over there!”


“You almost made it, Buff. It’s too bad you got sidetracked.”

“It’s not over yet.”

“My boy Acathla is about to wake up. You’re going to hell.”

“Save me a seat.”

“You keep looking at him. You trusted him? He’s going to knock Dru out and then he’ll scamper off like the coward that he is, leaving you to die.”

Buffy swallowed, her eyes still on Spike as he fought Drusilla.

“Here you are trapped in a corner with no weapons, no friends, definitely no boyfriend…no hope.”

She closed her eyes, scared as Angelus pushed her own sword against her clothing.

“Take that all away and what’s left?”

Listening as he drew back his sword, with lightening-fast reflexes Buffy caught the blade between the palms of her hands before it could slice her. “Me.”

“I…don’t…want…to…hurt…you,” Spike said truthfully between each punch, kick and block. “However, that doesn’t mean that I won’t.”

“What has she done to you?”

“I’ve been trying to figure that out myself lately.”

“She’s confusing you…bewitching your heart… I can feel it,” Drusilla said, almost touching a hand to his chest, but yanking her hand back as if he’d burn her. “You’ve been torn in so many directions. You were fighting it, but now…”

“Don’t even say it,” Spike said, giving her the final hit that made her collapse, unconscious.

Buffy’s heart skipped a beat once Spike broke into her fight with Angelus. “Think you waited long enough?”

“Need to rest?”

“No, but,” she tossed her sword in Spike’s direction and he caught it easily. “We need his blood! Giles said that his blood will open Acathla and it’ll also close its portal!”

“Okay, I’ve been looking forward to seeing him bleed.”

“William, will you ever get tired of fucking my leftovers?”

“What can I say, mate, you’ve got great taste.”

“God, pun much?” Buffy snickered, taking a time out to inspect the deep cut that Angelus made on her arm. Wincing, she took off her jacket and pulled the fabric of her shirt from the wound.

“Buffy! I could use some help here!”

“Coming! What’s wrong, Spikey? Need rescuing?”


“What? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” she asked, looking him up and down. “Spike, tell me. What’s wrong?”

“Can’t you hear him? Look, he’s crying.”

Following Spike’s finger, Buffy let out a gasp. “Oh my God.”

“We were fighting and his eyes flashed.”


Her heart swelled as Angel looked up at her with heavy tears in his eyes.

“What’s going on?” he asked with a quiet sob. “Where are we? I-I don’t remember.”

“Oh my God.”

“Don’t just stand there, cutie. Go to him.”


“Go to him,” he urged. With hands on her waist, Spike pushed her forward gently. “It’s really him. All your prayers have been answered.”

“I…oh God.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in months,” Angel whispered, pulling her to his chest. He inhaled the scent of her hair before kissing her shoulder. “Everything’s so muddled, Buffy. I’m so confused.”

“I hate to interrupt, but, Buffy, you need to open your eyes.”

At the sound of Spike’s soft voice, she did what he recommended and let out a strained moan. “No, please…no…”

Behind them where Acathla was once standing dormant was a swirling portal to hell that was growing larger as each second passed.

“W-what’s happening?”

“Shhh, don’t worry about it,” Buffy assured Angel even though she couldn’t stop her chin from trembling. She brushed her fingers over his lips and across his cheek, savoring the feel of his skin. Keeping her eyes open, she touched her lips to his mouth and moaned again when he returned the kiss, turning her simple gesture into something that was painfully passionate.

“I love you,” she said, breaking the kiss once the portal was nearly five feet in diameter. “I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

“Close you eyes…please? For me?”

Struggling not to crumble, she kissed him once more before stepping back. “S-spike, can you…”

“No, let me. You shouldn’t have to--.”

“Give it to me!” she demanded, reaching behind her with her palm open. “I need to—I just need to!”

“Alright,” Spike sighed deeply, placing the handle of the sword into her hand.

Spike winced as Buffy drove the sword through Angel and watched as he was sucked into the portal. He knew that she had tried to avoid Angel’s face by looking at the sword that was sticking out of his chest, and he also knew that no matter what she did, Buffy would be haunted by the fact that she’d stabbed her first love and sent him into a hell dimension.

When he took Buffy into his arms as she shook and wept uncontrollably, Spike knew that her heart was breaking.

“Spike…” she hiccupped, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. “Angel…”


“I’m dying—I feel like I’m dying inside. I-I can’t breathe.”

“I know, baby. That wasn’t very fair now, was it?”

“Nothing about today has been fair. I’ve lost everything.”

“That’s not true--.”

“It is. My mom kicked me out…Snyder expelled me from school…Xander knows about us, so he’ll probably tell the others and--.”

“Well, you’ve got me.”


“I not talk loud enough? You’ve got me,” he repeated slowly. “I know I can’t replace your mother, your education, your friends, or even your Angel, but I’m here for you. I’ll take care of you. I’ve done pretty well this past week or so. Take me or leave me, it’s your decision.”

“Really? Are you kidding? Spike…I’ll kill you if you’re playing with me.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“What about Drusilla?” Buffy asked, looking at him suspiciously. “Remember what I said about me not accepting communal boyfriends? Unless…unless you didn’t mean it like that, did you? Am I making a fool out of myself? You don’t want us to be together-together, you’re just offering me a place to stay, right?”


“Just answer me: what about Drusilla?”

“Well, she’s back there and currently unconscious and when she wakes up she might not be as willing to take me back as I expected…”

“So you want to be with me just because Dru won’t take you back?”

“Uh, no…”

“Yes! What, did you assume that you could take advantage of me since I have nothing, not even a place to call home, until you win her back?”

“Did I say any of those things?”

“You don’t have to!” she snapped, jerking away from him. “I won’t let you use me anymore!”

“But we--.”

“Say that we used each other and I will hit you so hard. I do not need you. Acathla is gone. The portal to hell is gone. A-angel is gone.”

“Now you want me to follow suit?”

“I don’t need you. Our deal—our plan, it’s all over.”

“Where will you go?”

“I’ll leave town. I-I’ll live with my dad. I’ll go to Los Angeles!”

“You could stay with me or we could go somewhere together. Come on, I’ve got my car. We can go to Los Angeles.”

“Do not touch me!”

Ignoring her protests, Spike pulled her back. “You may not need me, but you want me--.”

“I’ll get over it.”

“I want you.”

“Like I’ve never heard that before--.”

“Will you be quiet for one bloody minute? Damn you, woman! I’m trying to have a heart-to-heart here!”

“You don’t have a heart!”

“I do too! Even though it’s been screwing with my head lately.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Do I really have to fill you in? Are you that slow?”

“Keep it up, let’s add insult to injury.” Looking up, a new set of tears started to fall from her eyes. “Come on, I can take it.”

“You’re a pain in the ass,” Spike said lowering his voice.

“We’ve established that. You’re a jerk.”

“You’re insufferable.”


Spike rested his forehead against her hair and when she sniffled softly, he kissed her temple. “You’re driving me crazy. You’re in my head, you’re rushing in my veins,” cupping her face he forced her to look at him, “you’re in my heart, Buffy.”

“W-what are you saying?”

“I’m saying…God, pet, you always need to hear the words, don’t you? I’ve tried to push it away, but I can’t any longer. You remember our storage closet?”

"Do I really have to say ‘duh’?"

“Cute,” he smirked, recognizing her words. “I set that up, the whole thing.”

“You mean the bed wasn’t a sign? You lied to me?”

“Oh, kitten, take it however you want to. I’m just happy it got the ball rolling for us.”

“It sure did…”

“I love you.”

Buffy blinked, surprised. “You care to repeat that? Because just thought I heard you say that you--.”

“I love you,” he repeated. “Maybe you don’t want to hear it after your grand finale with Angel, but I do love you. I’d be a fool not to.” He kissed her forehead before kissing her cheek and lips. “Fell for you awhile back actually…”

When Buffy remained immobile, he sighed and released her from his arms. “Guess this is your way of turning me down, by ignoring me?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, you could start by telling me three words in particular, if you feel that way, of course.”

“You love me…” Buffy chewed on her lower lip and took one step closer. “You want to stay with me? Only me?”

“I wouldn’t mind taking a crack at it. You aren’t the only one who can be greedy, Slayer.”

“And if Drusilla--.”

“Fuck her, she had her turn.”

“So this is my turn…you’d be mine?”

“All yours. Every inch, down to the last drop.”

“You know, t-they say once a cheat, always a cheat…”

“I was faithful to Drusilla for decades. Decades and decades of being nothing but loyal and committed.”



“Don’t make me regret this.”

“I haven’t let you down yet.”

“No, no you haven’t,” Buffy admitted, fighting back a smile. “Let’s keep it that way, please.”

“I’ll try my best. Come here.”

Feeling coy, she went back into his arms and rested her head on his chest. “Would you mind if I told you that I loved you later? I’ve got the whole speech memorized, but I’m positive that I’ll cry when I give it and I’ve cried so much tonight…”

“Want to get outta here?”

“Where will we go?”

“Don’t know.” Twining their fingers together, Spike led Buffy out of the mansion and to his car. “You still wanna to go to Los Angeles?”

The End.

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