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PULSE

Chapter Two

Reflection

Three weeks later…

Buffy sat with the other interns, as they sat in a group waiting to find out where their next term would take them. She really wasn’t listening to the Senior Registrar, as she told them what a ‘great group they were and how exciting their next term would be’. All she could think about was the day in the alley with the platinum blonde; it was unavoidable. As the Senior Registrar had ranted on for half an hour, about the great job they’d done with the victims. The only thing she really remembered about it was the guilt, shame, and the undeniable pleasure she’d gotten from him. Yet, the guilt and shame overruled everything else from that day, she felt horrified that she’d done something so out of character. She couldn’t deny the moments of ecstasy that the virtual stranger had given her. It filled her dreams at night and started an undeniable hunger and taste for more.

It was a yearning for more of the forbidden and the danger of being with someone she didn’t really know, and the ability to release something inside of her she never really knew existed in her. The combination to find escape, mixed with that danger had been so hedonistic, and so foreign to her. It had fuelled the fire that had burned between them, and she would be lying to herself if she denied the fact she wanted to taste it again.

With him.

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He’d seen her a few times within the grounds of the hospital, or he’d catch a glimpse of her around a corridor, she would always just be out of reach, too far away for her to see him. So many times he wanted to talk to her, make sure she was ok since that day, make her look at him, see him, and most of all acknowledge him. He’d felt used that day like a thing, she may have well asked ‘where do the batteries go’, as far as he was concerned, but he still couldn’t deny the fact that he wanted to see her again. Make her look into his eyes as he gave her pleasure, make her scream his name, watch him as he came, and know who was fucking her. The feelings and thoughts he was feeling were so primitive and he’d never felt such a need for anyone. It made him want to seek her out, and make her acknowledge the passion that had burned between them, until she’d blocked him out.

There was more to it than a quick fuck, he wanted acknowledgment from her, and the more he thought about it the more he craved it. The internal conflict raged within him, the primitive inside of him just wanted to take her and receive all the pleasure he could from her body. The other side of him wanted to experience the pleasure of her knowing it was he who gave her that bliss, and wanted more from him than just a quick fuck in an alley.

The primitive was a man that lived along time ago, and the more rational man came from what he’d become here and now. He had a past that would make most people cringe away from him; he’d lived the hard life on the wrong side of the tracks when he was growing up, in the poorest side of town with an abusive father, and a frail, brutalised mother. From a young boy, he learnt to use his fists to protect himself as best he could from his over bearing father, and cocoon himself away from others so they would never have guessed that he was anything except the person he portrayed himself to be. He emanated from the man he’d learnt to be now, upstanding in his line of work, and a respectable member of the community that he served.

Something attracted him back to her, despite the way she’d treated him, her cry for release from the chaos around her had sparked something deep within him, and so he’d given into her need that day. The spark of need had turned into something deeper within him and it demanded to be quenched of its thirst for more.

More of her.


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Buffy was embarrassed to admit it, but she never heard where her next assignment was going to be. She had to sit and wait until the meeting was over, and the assignments would be posted on the Intern’s Noticeboard which she watched the senior registrar do. Trying not to look too silly, she walked over and glanced along the list until she found her name. No one heard the soft swear word that came from her mouth as she realised her new assignment, Dr Karen Childs. Dr Childs was a highly regarded physician, and it would be an excellent term from a learning point of view. Except the fact that half of her patients are on the eight floor; the medical wing to be exact. Karma was giving her a swift kick in the butt.

Buffy felt sick to the stomach, she could feel the anticipation rise through her flesh of seeing him again, and the dread that flooded through her at having to face him. She couldn’t really see a way out of it, the chance of finding someone to swap with would be impossible. The chances were so slim, that she knew not to even bother; she’d just have to face him, and hope for the best. Moving away from where she stood, she made her way to the phone on the opposite wall and paged Dr Childs' registrar, waiting for her to call back and arrange the usual ‘meet and greet’ thing.

As soon as she put the phone down, it rang back within seconds, the registrar was on the line, and within a few minutes, she’d set up the meeting in a half an hour. Taking a deep breath, she took off in hunt for a woman’s bathroom to freshen up and give her time to clear her head. Making herself presentable, she went to the assigned meeting place, the nurses’ lounge on the eight floor. Sticking her head inside, it was thankfully deserted, she entered and sat herself down on one of the sofas in the room, looking at her watch she had about 10 minutes until the appointed time.

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Luckily, her meeting with Dr Childs, and her team had gone well, they all seemed happy to have her on board and had encouraged her to be an active member of the team. So active that Dr Childs encouraged her to go and meet all the patients, examine and report to her in the morning. Buffy had taken a large sigh of relief at the request; usually they would have you doing all the horrible work that needed catching up on the first day. She did exactly what they requested of her, Buffy began her way around the hospital visiting all of Dr Childs’ patients, all those not on the eight floor, everyone else but them.

Not being able to put it off for much longer at 1900hrs (7 pm), she took the elevator up to the eighth floor, and walked along the corridors until she stood out front of the ward. Looking through the glass doors that separated the ward from the main corridor, she couldn’t see anyone on the floor, it looked deserted, even though she could hear the conversations of people through the glass, and the ‘pings’ of machinery. She was very exhausted and she felt like she’d bitten off more than she could chew. She pulled the glass door open, letting herself into the ward, and made her way to the nurses’ station and the patient notes.

She kept her eye open for him, but never saw him, relieved that he must be off duty, she never saw him sitting with a patient in one of the private rooms, giving one on one care to a critical patient waiting for a bed in ICU. Even though she didn’t see him, he definitely heard her voice as she spoke to the nursing staff about Dr Childs' patients on the ward. A smirk filled his face, as he learnt that her new assignment would be with one of the wards consultants, and that she would be spending plenty of time on the ward in the future.


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Buffy had finally spoken with the last patient at 2130 hrs (9.30pm), glancing at her watch she noticed the time, as she slipped the notes back into the metal rack that held them. She lifted her head in time, to catch the platinum blonde standing on the corridor side of the nurses’ station just watching her, looking her over as she unconsciously brushed her hair away from her face. Finally, his gaze came to meet hers, she watched from behind the nurses’ desk as he said his goodbyes and walked out the ward.


Trying not to look to suspect, she quickly made her pleasantries to the nursing staff and started after him, it was time that she finished this silly obsession she had with him. She watched as he walked to the staircase and took the flight of stairs up, not down, that was the last thing she expected because it wasn’t the way out. If she remembered correctly the ninth and tenth floor of the building were closed, not used for anything besides storage. The small hospital didn’t generate enough funds for it to be viable to be open, so it was closed, and no one ever went up there. Well anyone but him it would appear, she hung back for as long as she could so that she wouldn’t catch his attention.

Tracking behind him, she watched him leave the staircase on the tenth floor, and shut the exit door behind him. Trying to be as quiet as she could, she opened the door and spied him walking down the corridor and turning left. Checking that no one else was around she quickly scampered down the corridor to the corner which he turned down, she watched him walk down another corridor and turn into a smaller hallway. She followed his every step, down to the small hallway where she lost him, or thought she had. With a swift glance around the hall, Buffy spotted one of the doors swinging slightly on its hinges.

It had a long narrow piece of glass in it to peer through to the room beyond. She looked the best she could through it, and saw only an empty physical therapy room, full of equipment and mirrors encasing every wall and a wooden rail running along it . Yet there was no sign of him, just the empty room. Not convinced that it was empty Buffy opened the door, and peered in. Still not happy, she slipped in through the door, and looked around, she used the mirrors to scan the room, but still she couldn’t see him.

She turned to walk out, only to literally throw herself into him. As she slammed into his torso, he grabbed her to help steady herself. She gasped at the shock of him grabbing her, she didn’t resist the tight grip that he had on her, his hands were bruising as they held onto her. His gaze was vacant and piercing, he gave nothing of what he was thinking or feeling away. Buffy felt a slight shudder down her spine as he finally softened his hold on her, the grip he held her with definitely made one thing clear for her. He wasn’t ready to let her go. Not yet anyway.

“So we meet again luv.” Spike muscles in his face clenched, “or are you just stalkin’ me?”

“No,” she said it so quietly, as she tried to untangle herself gently from his hands, but he would have none of it. “Please!”

“Now I’ve heard that one before.” Spike pulled her further into the room despite her placid resistance. “Little girl got her manners finally?”

Buffy could feel the hairs on her back of her neck rise, not in fear but anticipation, as he voice became gravely and low pitched. His gaze held something that she’d seen once before but only for a fleeting second. That second was just before she locked him out as they fucked each other in the alleyway. She swallowed hard, she couldn’t decide whether to stay or run as fast as she could. A hot burning sensation flood her body as she remembered every touch, kiss and thrust, searing her to the spot as she could feel her arousal grip her like a vice. Yet the fear of what exactly he had planned for her, caused her to slightly shudder, as she remembered the look on his face so full of regret, after they’d finished, well she may have been finished then, but he hadn’t. She’d left him not satisfied, she'd known that.

He pulled her further into the room, until he stopped her in the far corner of the room, where two mirrored walls met and they reflected onto each other. He walked her back until her spine rested on the rail, taking her two hands he out stretched them and placed them onto the wood of the bar. He pulled a few strands of hair away from her face, as he caressed her jaw and pulled them behind her ear. “I’m not going make you do anything you don’t want to.” Spike pulled her coat down her arms. “Just tell me you don’t want it. Tell me to stop.” He lifted one hand then the other as he took her coat off, he ran his hands slowly up her arm, dragging the tips of his fingers over her skin, and she could feel the slight grazing of his short nails, as they passed over her nerve endings, her flesh tingling as he made his way up her arm. “Tell me you don’t love this!”

He slid the palms of his hand down her waist until they reached her waistband of the trousers that she wore; he slipped his thumb into the back of the waistband and ran it along the length of it. Stopping at the snap he pulled at it until the fabric gave way, and separated, he watched her every reaction as she gasped for breathe, standing before him bewildered at what he was doing to her. She didn’t fight him or tell him to ‘stop’, she brought one of her hands off the bar, and raised it to his shoulder. In response, his hand quickly shot out, capturing her forearm, and returned her hand to the bar. “Don’t touch!”

She squinted in confusion at his order and removed her hand from his person. So it was hands off for her and to make sure he didn’t stop she did as he asked, she tightened her hands on the rail. She turned her head slightly to the mirrored wall opposite her; she watched his reflection, as his hand undid her zip down and pulled the fabric of her trousers over her hips, letting them fall to the ground. He ran a hand down from her waist to her hips, through to her inner thigh to her knee and back up to her thigh, slipping a thumb into the side of her knickers. He locked his eyes with hers to watch her reaction as his hand pulled onto the other side of her knickers, except this time he slid down onto his knees taking her underwear with him. With out any hesitation, he lifted one foot at a time, and removed the two garments and her shoes from her body. “Open yourself to me.”

With a slight nudge of his hand on her knees, she moved her legs apart, opening herself to him. He watched as he slid his hands up from her ankles to her knees, as she gasped for breath, and from knees to upper thighs as she bite down on her lower lip, distending the soft skin as she beared her teeth. Spike felt the slight sway of her hips as he slipped his fingers between her moist folds, tracing her flesh’s natural curve as she moved in response to his caress. He watched her bend her neck backwards, breaking the visual connection they’d had as he stimulated the tender flesh under his fingers, watching her as she closed her eyes and crunched her face in need. “Open your eyes.”

She snapped her neck back, and looked down at him, he stopped the flowing motion of his hand and lightly grinded his thumb into her now throbbing clit. With the pads of his fingers he drew small tight circles around nub, tantalising the bundled nerve ending, sending tingling sensations along each one, making goose bumps appear over her body, as she reacted to the sensations he was creating. He would break her heights of dizziness by scrapping the flesh with his nail, causing a distraction as a flash of heat shuddered through her. Spike watched as he touched her inner flesh with his free hand, watched as her breathing increased, her face become flushed and her muscles clenching around the two fingers he used to caress her with. He massaged the walls within as she in response increased her sway and depth of the gyration of her hips. Unable to help herself she tore away her hands away from the bar and grabbed his shoulders as she grinded herself over his hand, her need for this fuelled her desire for more.

Breaking his gaze with her, he grabbed her hips to stop her movements as he pushed her folds part and applied his mouth to her intimate flesh. He gently teased her clit with his tongue with small licks and light suction, making the nerve ending fire faster and more intensely. In time with the motion of his mouth, he moved his fingers in and out of her canal; he could feel her slickness increase with every second that passed. Buffy opened herself to the pleasure that he was giving her, she groaned with each change of speed that he applied to her body.

Her body tightened as her pleasure increased, and her need to find release came within the reach of the nirvana he offered her. Yet something held her back, the guilt that she felt about the alleyway, refused to allow her to reach orgasm, she was caught up in the prison it was encasing her in. Making a silent promise to herself, she refused to be shackled to any guilt and let herself go, screaming as she came. She ran a hand through his hair as she came, gently pulling on his hair as she felt the muscles in herself contract and spasm, on and around this man on his knees before her.

As she came down from her high, she let her tight grip on him go and took hold of the bar once again behind her to steady herself. Buffy watched as he got off his haunches from the floor and looked at her still partly dressed body, as he took in all of the things he never saw when they’d been in the alley. Remembering her promise, she took the initiative removing her shirt and bra, as he watched taking in every inch he could as he licked his lips and tasted her. She returned the favour looking at him, and his obvious arousal that bulged through his scrub pants, she moved herself a little closer to him. Buffy pulled at the ties of the scrubs, pulling out the waistband so that they would drop when she let the fabric go. She pulled the scrub shirt off as his pants fell to the floor of the room; Buffy threw the shirt across the room, not really caring where it landed.

She leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled his head back avoiding her, not sure of what to do or how to react, she ran a hand down his wash board abs, and down to his straining cock. Taking her hands, she encircled it as she ran her fingers up and down its length, applying the tiniest amount of friction. She heard the grunt that escaped his lips as she tightened her grip on his cock, and increased the speed of her jerking hands. Buffy watched him look down from where she touched him, to lock gazes with her, and turn his head to watch what she was doing to him in the mirror that was surrounding them.

The words that made up the promise that she made to herself, and in away too him, came flooding back to her. Most of it consisted of making sure that she allowed him the pleasure of being a part of all it, even if it was just another fuck…or whatever this was, To give as much pleasure as she could to him, making up for the way she treated him before. With this in mind she was the one this time to get down on her knees in front of him to pay tribute back to him. With him still clasped in her hands, she brought his rigid length to her lips, where she licked the head with just the tip of her tongue, teasing him as he had her, in small bursts over and over again. There was no rhythm to it, she would increase or decrease the time and exposure of flesh on flesh every time; it was a different experience with each stroke.

“Please.” Spike spoke the words with a quiet gravely voice, she could hear the gasp of breath that came out with each syllable he said. “Please luv…more…please.” Buffy remembered the words that he’d made her said the first time they did this. He made her swallow her pride and say the words that he wanted her to say, before he would give her release.

“Please more what?” Buffy said as she continued to place small licks along his cock. “Please do it harder?” Buffy took him back into her mouth, and as she slid him within, she increased the suction she applied to his flesh. As she grazed it softly with her teeth and repeated this until he grasped his hands in her hair to slow her movements, to savour in what she was doing to him. Taking advantage of this, Buffy replaced her teeth with her tongue as she travel along the length of the stiff flesh, tracing the ridges and veins that protruded through his erection. “Please do it slower?”

Spikes’ answer was a guttural grunt, and a loud “fuck”, as he bent over and motioned for her to stand up again, which she complied with immediately. Taking hold of her waist, he turned her around so that she stood facing the mirrored wall, and he returned her hands to where this all started, on the handrail that surrounded the room. Still holding onto her waist, he took a small step backwards, making her back arch out, and stood behind her. Buffy felt a slight shudder pass through her whether it came from desire or apprehension she didn’t know.

Grasping her hips within his hands, he pushed his cock long her using her wetness to help him glide over her flesh, until he came to her clit, rubbing himself over her nub for added simulation, and to show her what was to come. She watched the reflection of him, pulling her closer to his hips, as he took his erection within his hand and placed it at her entrance, just slipping the head in he stopped. He put his hand back onto her hips, and slowly rotated his hips, so that the head teased only a few inches of her inner walls, denying the rest of her the sensation. “Look at me,” Spike spoke to her, to which Buffy immediately caught his gaze in the mirror. “Don’t look away! Not even for a second! Watch us!”

Buffy watched as he pushed himself finally all the way into her body, filling every centimetre of her being, and the pressure of feeling him inside of her was exquisite. Slow thrusts only increased the pressure that she felt and was drawn out by the grinding motion of his hips that changed the angle of penetration, stroke after stroke. Spike pulled at her hips, as she pushed against him, seeking more of him with every thrust of hers against his. Pulling himself up behind her back, he changed the thrusts too hard deep thrusts that hit against her cervix, and deep within her core. He did this without breaking eye contact with her once; he saw every flame of desire reflected in her eyes, cast back at him through the mirror she stood in front of.

“Say my name,” Spike painfully grabbed her hips increasing the pressure he applied, “say it!”

“Oh god!” was all she could reply with.

“Say it!” Spike spoke between each grunt that came from his lips as he slammed into her, “I want to know that you know who you’re fucking! Not a thing! Not a walking talking vibrator! Say my name, Buffy!”

Buffy was absolutely taken back by his words, even though each word sprung true, and what made it worse was that he had her so worked up, that she found it hard to remember his name. She tried in vain to remember, she owed him that at least, and she didn’t want it appearing that every word he said was true…that she didn’t know who she’d fucked in an alley and whose cock was penetrated deep within her. She looked at him, as he stared at her with his blue within blue eyes; his gaze began to burn with anger, as he waited for her answer.

“You don’t know, do you!?!” Spike slammed into her harder, his fingers biting into her cheeks of her bottom. “You don’t know whose fucking you, do you little girl?”

“Yes.” Buffy tried to answer him between the hard thrusts that left her speechless, “Yes, I know who you are! You’re the man that gave me a refugee when I needed one! The man that helped me forget!”

“No! I’m the man you used to fuck you in that alleyway!”

“No! I know who you are!” Buffy screamed at him. He stopped his punishing thrusts as she said her words, “I know who you are!”

“Then say it!”

With a gentle rocking motion, she moved herself upon him, trying to ease some of the tension from him. She placed a hand on his hip, holding him to her as she looked him straight in the eye. “I’m with you! I’m with you, Spike.” With her reply, he exploded into a harsh and fast motion as he once again began to slam into her. He let his hand move down to her clit, as he pulled it between his fingers, encouraging her to move one-step closer to coming.

“Come with me baby, come.” Spike whispered in her ear, it was the total opposite approach to her that he had a few minutes earlier. She could only guess, that he was satisfied that she knew whom she was with, and who was doing those things delicious things to her. It was what she needed to hear, as she relaxed enough to allow herself to go into the abyss, as she embraced her orgasm. Her muscles clenched and contracted around his cock, sending pulsating rhythms along it, triggering his own orgasm as he felt himself tighten and exploded within her. Spike looked away from her finally after holding her gaze for so long.

“At least you know who fucked you that day.” Spike pulled out of her, and stood back looking at her vulnerable stanch, he picked up his scrub shirt and put it back on, and found his pants and put them on. “And fucked you today!”

“Spike?” The look on her face expressed her concern at the point he was trying to get across. “I know it was you.”


“Well if you didn’t then…you certainly do now!” Spike tied his pants and slipped his shoes back on, he turned and walked out the door he didn’t look back as he said the words that truly devastated her.

“Thanks Luv! Its’ been a fun fuck! We must do it again sometime.” This time he did turn around, “And don’t be a stranger luv!”

“You bastard!” followed him out the door.





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