AN: God, I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update! I had a lot of stuff going on and I'm still searching for a beta. I've been sending emails to a lot of different betas but either they don't respond or they don't have the time. if anyone knows a good beta, please let me know, otherwise I won't be able to update.

Again, I'm very sorry that I took so long.

- Spikegirl

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Chapter 11: What happens now?

It had been an exciting night. Everyone wanted to know what the story was between her and Spike. Buffy had told them a little part of their history, but she kept the details between her and Spike, she needed to know for sure that everything was going to be alright when she would tell her friends. She didn’t want to give them and herself high hopes. After telling everyone the story between Buffy and Spike her friends finally left, leaving Spike, Xander and Buffy alone in the house. Buffy had already put Emma in bed.

“So, that was something,” Xander said to Buffy and Spike with a smile which they returned.

“Yep, I have some friends.” She always felt better when she had seen her friends. She was glad her friends accepted her brother and Spike into their lives. She remembered when she met a guy and she had invited him to dinner. Her friends had pretty much chased the guy away, telling Buffy that he wasn’t good enough for her and that he was a big asshole that needed a good whipping! Later, Buffy discovered that the guy was big player that fucked almost every girl in town. She was really lucky with friends like hers.

“They’re nice though,” Spike said, really liking their friends. They were interesting people. Even though he wasn’t really happy about most of them working at the club he really did like them. He needed to talk to Buffy about her job. Her friends had interrupted their disagreement, but Spike still thought that he didn’t say anything wrong. He just didn’t like her working there; she should do something else, especially since she was a mother. A mother shouldn’t work in a place like that. Okay, so it was a respectable club, but being a stripper just wasn’t right. Not for Buffy, she deserved more then that. He just wanted to make her see that. He did understand that she didn’t have many options because she didn’t finish highschool, but she could try and find another job. Besides, he would definitely be willing to help out. He had a lot of money; both inherited from his grandfather and made of his own with his job as a singer and guitarist.

“I liked them to,” Xander told Buffy. He wasn’t sure if he actually liked them, they were nice but he didn’t like them working at the club. He had a lot of time to think things through and he decided that he didn’t like Buffy’s life one bit. He wanted to be a better brother for her but he just couldn’t let her live her life like that. And Buffy’s friends were ties to the club that she didn’t need when he would convince her to stop stripping. This wasn’t the life that he wanted for his little sister. He knew that he didn’t have any say in her life, especially since he wasn’t in it for a long time, but didn’t she understand that this wasn’t the way to live her life? She had Emma to think about, she should be more responsible! He didn’t want Emma to have to tell her friends that her mother was a stripper. He needed to tell his sister that.

Buffy was really happy. They both liked her friends, but the most important thing was that Emma finally knew who her father was and that Spike wanted to be her father. She didn’t really think that he would abandon them, but she could never know for sure.

“I’m glad you like them, they’re like family to me,” She said, which was completely true. They really felt like her family, they were always there for her when she needed them. She couldn’t imagine her life without them. They were really great to Emma to, and her daughter was really looking forward to the new baby.

“Talking about family, I haven’t seen Dawn yet. I figured she was in college or something,” Xander told Buffy, he really wanted to see Dawn again. But he was also afraid, afraid what she would think of him. He knew she probably hated him; he wouldn’t be surprised of that. And knowing Dawn, she probably wouldn’t forgive him very soon.

“Yes, she’s in college. She’ll be back for a week on Wednesday,” Buffy explained.

“She’s doing okay?”

“Yes, she is doing great actually. She knows that it had been hard to get the money for her to actually go to collage so she’s really giving it all she’s got. She’s a good girl, very smart to. Her teacher once called me to tell me that I had a wonderful sister. She has a boyfriend too, well kinda.” She saw Spike’s and Xander’s confused look. “There’s a guy she likes, they’ve been going out for a couple of times but it isn’t serious yet.”

Xander nodded. He didn’t like to think about his little sister with some boy, but he knew that he didn’t have anything to say about that. He just wanted the guy to treat her right; he didn’t want her to be like Buffy. He loved Buffy, but she had made a lot of wrongs choices in her life. He didn’t want Dawn to do that; he would help her make the right decisions.

“You got the money for college from stripping?” Xander asked her.

Buffy looked at him with big eyes. ‘Was he suspecting something? No, he couldn’t be, not Xander. Her brother didn’t figure things out on his own.’

“Yeah,” She carefully said to him. “I worked extra for her, so she could go to college. I just want her to have a better life, a better job than I do. She deserves it.”

Xander looked down, feeling guilty. Buffy looked at him, she knew that they had to talk but she didn’t feel like it. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, not now, probably not ever. She first wanted to talk to Spike, which was her main priority because it also concerned Emma.

Spike looked at Xander before moving towards him and whispering something into his ear. Xander hesitated for a moment before nodding. “I have to go home,” he told Buffy. “I’ll see you soon, thanks for dinner.” He nodded before walking out of the door towards the hotel.

Buffy looked at Spike. “What did you say to him?”

“I just told him that I wanted to talk to you and that he needed to go.” He smiled at her, hoping that she was okay with that. He really did want to talk to her.

“Alright. What do you want to talk about?”

“Emma.”

Buffy nodded. “You start,” she said, not wanting to go first. Besides, he deserved to go first after everything she did to him, hiding the fact that he had a daughter and everything.

“I already told you I want to be a part of her life. But we need to talk about how we are going to do that exactly. I mean, I’m definitely falling in love with her and I don’t want to be away from her, but I do have a job and a life back in Los Angeles.” Buffy looked at him with tears in her eyes. She didn’t want him to leave, not like Xander did.

“Don’t worry, you and Emma are much more important to me than my friends in LA.”

Buffy smiled at him. “But I still have my job, I worked very hard for it and I can’t just quit. We’re pretty famous back there and I have the bandmembers to think about, not just Xander but the others to. We need to talk about that.” He saw that Buffy wasn’t happy about that. He just hoped she’d understand, he couldn’t give them a decent life without an income. Besides, he wanted to be a singer ever since he was 11 years old. He couldn’t just give up his dream; it meant the world to him.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Buffy said.

Spike looked at her, starting to get angry himself. “Why the hell not?” He sighed, she always did that. “Buffy, just because you don’t like the subject doesn’t mean that we don’t have to talk about it.”

Buffy sighed. “It’s not that. I mean yes…I don’t like the subject. But it’s not my decision to make; it’s your life. *You* have to decide what’s more important, I can’t do that for you.” She tried really hard to keep the tears inside, but it wasn’t working. Tears were falling from her eyes. ‘Why did everyone leave? Wasn’t she important enough? What did it take?’

Spike clenched his teeth. He couldn’t stand it when women cried, especially not women he cared about. He wanted nothing more then take her into his arms and comfort her, but he knew he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to leave her and Emma, but he didn’t want to give up his job either.

“Why don’t you come with me to LA?” Spike asked her, thinking he had found the perfect solution. It would be perfect, he didn’t have to lose them and he didn’t have to lose his job either.

Buffy shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Why the hell not?” He didn’t understand her. ‘What does she have here? She could give up stripping; she didn’t want to be a bloody stripper since she was 11 years old!’

“I have my life here; Emma’s school, my job, my house, my friends. Everyone and everything I love is right here in this town,” she explained.

“So what about me?”

Buffy looked at him with a confused expression; did he know that she loved him? She hadn’t said anything. Spike didn’t notice that she was confused and continued talking.

“I should just give up *my* life to be with you, but you won’t give up your life to be me? That’s really fair, Buffy!” He was yelling now. He couldn’t understand her, did she really think that his job, his life wasn’t important?

‘Oh.’ She thought. ‘He thinks it’s unfair, thank god he doesn’t know that I love him.’ She didn’t want him to know yet, she would tell him... when the time was right.

“I didn’t ASK you to give up your life for me! It’s your decision not mine and besides what the hell do you have in LA? Women who throw their panties at you? Some stupid job that you can do here in Sunnydale! You only have to think of yourself; I have my daughter and sister to think about! And LA? That isn’t exactly a city to raise a kid in.”

“You were raised in LA! You turned out just fine!”

“I’m a fucking stripper!”

They both didn’t know what to say anymore. They understood that things weren’t going to work out if they continued yelling at each other.

“So what happens now?” Buffy asked him, giving him an insecure look. She didn’t know what to do now, she wanted to be with him so mad it hurts but she knew that she couldn’t get everything that she wanted, her life was proof of that. She saw Spike looking at her with tears in his eyes.

“I don’t know.”





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AN: Thanks so much to SpaceLord, Nemo, Chrissnicole, Tuesday, Debbie, Briana, frederique, DaniD, Spiked_Slayer, marstersgirl13, SarahandJamesFanatic, jt, daisy, luxferi and cordykitten for your reviews, they put a big goofy smile on my face ;)

- Spikegirl





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