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Chapter 20

Spike awoke slowly adjusting to unfamiliar surroundings. As he woke, he realised two things, he had fallen asleep on the couch and someone was trying to open his eyes.

“You snore.”

That’s right; last night had not been a weird dream. Buffy was a mom and her son Cody was currently holding his eyelids hostage.

“And I can’t hear Sponge Bob properly,” Cody sat up on the couch giving Spike no other option but to wake up.

“Sorry to interrupt,” He grumbled as he rubbed his eyes as a way to keep them open.

“Did you have a sleep over party with mom?” Cody asked as if it was the most natural question in the world.

Now he was awake. What was he supposed to do? He did not know too much about kids, but what he did know was that they had a finely tuned bullshit detector and if Cody was anything like his mom his was more tuned than most.

“No Cody we didn’t have a sleep over party, you didn’t miss out on any fun. Just fell asleep is all.”

“Are you my mom’s friend?” Spike could see Cody trying to fit the pieces of his and Buffy’s relationship together. Good luck with that kid. Here he was a grown man and he was still trying to figure out which way was up.

“You’re mom and I work together and I guess we are friends too.” That was true they did work together and as far as he was aware they were still friends. Last night had been a break through of sorts. She had let him in on a secret that no one else knew that had to count for something. Maybe he had a chance of a relationship with her.

“I get it. That’s why your hair is a funny colour! You play dress up with mommy,” Cody giggled as he reached up to touch Spike’s hair.

“Dress up?”

“That’s what mommy does for a job. She goes away and plays dress up. Just like me and Aunty Dawn. Do you get to be Buzz Lightyear?”

Spike laughed as he thought about his latest role. Buzz Lightyear was not too far from the truth.

“Not quite Buzz, but I do play a space captain.”

“Really,” Cody’s eyes had grown to the size of saucers.

“Really, maybe one day you can come down to the set and take a look at the ship.”

“I don’t think so.”

He turned to see Buffy in the doorway. To say she did not look happy was an understatement. She had her game face on; he could tell that much. They had talked a bit longer about Parker, Cody and the lie she had been living for the past five years.

After the initial hesitation, Spike could tell she was glad to finally get it all off her chest. Nevertheless, there was always a false sense of everything was going to be ok when secrets are shared by moonlight. Somehow, in the harsh light of day things did not seem so easy to work out.

“Cody, have you eaten your breakfast?” Buffy asked as she made her way to the kitchen. “I told you no TV until breakfast was done and didn’t I tell you would have to be quiet otherwise you would wake up Spike?” She stopped as she found the two boys sitting on the couch making themselves at home.

“Morning Buffy, ready to play dress up?” Spike asked as Cody laughed.

“I like you’re new friend mommy. He’s funny.”

Buffy rolled her eyes as she made her way into the kitchen. “Sure, he is a laugh riot. Cody can you go wake up Dawn? We have to leave for work soon.”

“Yes mommy.”

Buffy turned to Spike and the smirk that she would have given anything to wipe from his face.

“Look, one day he saw me in a magazine by accident. I had to tell him something,” she busied herself by making coffee.

“I don’t know much about kids, but doesn’t the truth usually cover it?”

Buffy slammed the coffee pot down on the bench. “Don’t you dare try to tell me how to raise my child,” she was fuming.

“I am just trying to help,” he pleaded.

“I don’t need your help Spike and FYI, if I ever need child rearing advice I would call Michael Jackson before calling you.”

“Buffy, all I am trying to say is that Cody is smart. One day he is going to work it all out.”

“You walk into my life uninvited, I might add and you think that gives you permission to judge me? You have no idea what its like to live my life. I hate the fact that I have to lie to Cody about who I am and who he is. However, I didn’t want him labelled as a bastard child of some starlet. He deserves better than that.”

This was exactly the reason why she had kept herself and her family safe for the last five years. Why did she think telling Spike would make things better? Just because she wanted him to be her knight in shining armour did not make him one. She did not work her fingers to the bone only to have her whole existence questioned by someone who had no idea what it was like to raise a child.

“Buffy, I never judged you. All I am asking is that shouldn’t you be more honest with Cody.”

“Of course I want to tell Cody the truth but I also want to be able to provide a life for him that I never had. The only way I can do that is to protect him.” The tears flowed no matter how many she had shed over her decision to keep Cody from the public eye. There always seemed to be more to be shed. She had started this foray into the public eye and she could not stop it.

“Listen Spike, I think it would be best for all of us, Cody included, if we ended this deal right now.” This was the right thing to do and she knew it. Spike would not care; it was all business to him anyway. In addition, he had already told everyone but her that he was ready to whore around again.

“Buffy, I don’t want this deal to end” She could hear the emotion clogging his voice. She didn’t want to hear it. She wanted to hear a cold business like tone not one filled with emotions she didn’t want named.

“Well I have news for you Spike And its all bad we only have two more weeks of shooting. After that this is over.”

“Don’t say that Buffy. I don’t want this to be a deal. I don’t want to finish this not now, not in two weeks, not ever.”

His stare was hypnotic all the reasons why not were swirling through her brain but she did not voice them. By the time she had found her voice she could not speak.

Spike was kissing her.





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