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Chapter 25

“You told Spike what?”

Buffy closed her eyes as she waited for the barrage of ‘what were you thinking’s’, that were about to come from Giles. She had arranged to see Giles at his office as soon as possible, giving herself no time to back out of telling the press about Cody.

“Well, I didn’t actually tell him anything. He sort of found out.” Buffy shifted nervously, not wanting to admit that she had made a mistake in letting him follow her home.

“How did he find out? We have all worked so hard to protect Cody from this.”

“The party. Parker was at the party.” She watched Giles’ face pale at his name.

“He didn’t?”

“No, he didn’t find out, but he came up to me. Spike saw, and well, you know what a slime Parker is; he insinuated some things and Spike joined the dots. He did punch Parker. Hard. In fact I think he broke his nose. That’s gotta give him some brownie points.” Buffy took some small comfort in the fact that Parker had come off second best from their encounter.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Giles asked after Buffy had finished explaining her plan to tell the press about her son.

“Am I sure? No. Do I want to do this? No.” Buffy replied as she folded her arms across her chest, trying to muster some strength and resolve.

“Then why?” Giles could see how this was tearing her apart. Over the years she had become much more than just a client to him. He had nurtured her career from the beginning, and as much as he had tried to protect her, in the back of his mind he knew this day would come.

“I need to do this, not for me, but for Cody. I don’t want him to grow up thinking he is some dirty little secret. If I keep going this way, that’s what will happen,” she sighed as she sat back into Giles’s leather couch. Why did these things look so comfortable yet be so uncomfortable? She looked up at the ceiling trying to unravel her jumbled thoughts and feelings.

“Spike says that I should…”

“Spike? You are taking PR lessons from Spike? Do you think that’s wise?” he asked as he took off his glasses to clean them.

“Well, he does know about more about this stuff than I do.”

“Yes, he does. The only reason he knows so much about the press is because he is in it every second and not in a good way. Do you remember that first day we met with him? He was a train wreck.”

“He has changed Giles. Since we have been dating he hasn’t been drunk once, he still smokes, sure, but on the whole he has been well behaved. I trust him.”

“Why do you trust Spike?”

“Because I have to. I don’t have a choice. That’s what secrets do Giles. They take away your right to choose. I have to trust Spike because he knows about Cody. He knows my secret and like it or not, we have to trust him.”

Giles put back on the glasses, he knew Buffy was right as much as he hated to admit it. They had no choice but to trust Spike, and tell the truth about Buffy’s life.

“Alright, leave it to me. I will figure out the best plan of attack.”

****

“Mommy do you love Spike?”

Buffy spat her Mac and Cheese over the kitchen table. The meeting with Giles had been draining, hell; the whole weekend had been draining. What she needed was comforting, and nothing comforted better that cheesy carbs.

Spike had left after their conversation, giving her some time and space to sort things out. She knew she had to sort out more than just telling the world about Cody. She also had to sort out where Spike fitted into her life and her heart.

She was attracted to him, no question. But the last time she had been attracted to someone it had ended badly and for all the growing up she had done in becoming a teenage mom, she had next to no experience in dating someone, let alone a very famous someone. Sure, she and Spike had been ‘dating’ for weeks. But it wasn’t real, she was playing a role. She could still protect her heart that way, but to be real, to feel -- that was something she was not prepared for.

“Why would you ask me that question?” Buffy panicked as she went to the sink to grab a cloth to wipe up the mess she had made.

“Well, Spike is your friend, and Barney says that we should love our friends.

She sat back down, began wiping the table clean, and she couldn’t help but laugh. Of course a purple dinosaur was the best person to be able to define her and Spike’s relationship. She sure as hell couldn’t.

“So, what you are asking is, is Spike my friend?” Yes, Buffy was much more comfortable with this line of questioning.

“Yes. Is he your friend?”

“Yes he is my friend.”

‘Do you like playing dress up with him?”

“Sometimes. Other times he drives me crazy.”

“Like I drive you crazy?” Cody asked.

“No, he really drives me crazy. You could never drive me crazy.” She reached over and ruffled his hair.

“Can Spike be my friend too?” Buffy could see the longing in his eyes. He hardly had any friends his own age, in fact any friend’s period. She couldn’t trust anyone to keep quiet. What normal five-year-old had no friends?

“You don’t have many friends do you?” Buffy asked not wanting to hear the answer.

“I have you and Dawn, and I have a best friend too,” Cody replied between mouthfuls of pasta.

“Barney?” Buffy guessed, not knowing who else Cody would choose.

“No mom, Barney isn’t real. Spike. Spike is my best friend. He makes me laugh and he reads me stories and he is real.”

“I guess he is real,” Buffy replied not really wanting to hear the truth in her words. Now eat up your dinner it’s almost bed time.”

“I will mommy, but one more thing. Can Spike sleep over?”

And with that, Buffy spat her pasta out all over again.





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