Chapter 25

Buffy looked out over the Valley. The twinkling lights below made it look like a fairy tale kingdom and as she took another sip of her champagne, she did feel every bit the princess.

Was her life a fairy tale? From the outside looking in it sure looked that way; her first big movie, not to mention a romance with one of the hottest actors around. To the outside world she had it made.

More than that, from the inside looking out for the first time in a long time, she felt at peace with her life. Past, present the whole shebang. Of course it was the calm before the storm; Giles had scheduled a press conference in two days time. However, she enjoyed the feeling. Sure she had some trials and tribulations along the way, but at the end of the day she had a great family a fulfilling career, and if she could stop being stubborn and listen to her heart she had a Prince Charming too.

“Do you like the view?” Spike asked as he made his way out of the kitchen and joined her in the living room.

“It’s breathtaking,” she replied.

“It helps soften the blow of my bad cooking, sorry about the chicken,” Spike sat down on the large cream couch as Buffy turned to join him. She wondered how long it would take Cody to get his finger prints all over it. The thought scared her and she shook it from her mind.

“It was fine; you forget I can burn water.”

“Not forgotten, love; I have just never had the pleasure of your cooking.”

“Trust me you won’t be thinking of pleasure when you eat my food,” Buffy giggled as she took another sip of her drink and sunk further into comfort of the lounge.

Her giggle was music to Spike’s ears as he looked over at her so relaxed resting on his couch and for a moment he caught a glimpse of their life together. He wasn’t scared, in fact if anything, he was disappointed. Disappointed that he didn’t have it now.

“Spike?” Buffy was staring at him now. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I just zoned out there for a while.” He straightened himself and asked the question he had wanted to know the answer to for a long time.

“Do you regret our deal?”

“Would it surprise you if I said no?” Buffy replied.

“Yeah it would. I didn’t mean to…”

“Turn my life upside down,” she offered.

“Find out about Cody, but I guess that did turn your life upside down. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. All of what’s going to happen it’s not because of you Spike. I made choices a long time ago; way before you came into my life. But in a way I think you helped me,” Buffy took another sip as if seeking courage from the alcohol within it.

“How so?”

“Sometimes I think the whole reason I have this career is because of Cody. You know I was sixteen and had to find a way to make a living. The acting thing was all I had and when I got here. I had to make it work, if I failed Cody, Dawn and I didn’t eat. I did what I had to because of my circumstances, but in the end I was doing what I wanted to do.”

Spike looked puzzled. “I’m not quite connecting the dots here love.”

Buffy moved over and placed her hand over his. “You were the catalyst for coming clean about Cody, but I need to do it, not just because you know about it. I need to live and give Cody the life he deserves now, not the life I thought he needed five years ago.”

“Buffy, I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s not for you to say anything; it’s for me to say.” She leant over and kissed him. It took him by surprise, and was over before it began. “Thank you William.”

****

“So, tell me how William Simons became movie mega star Spike Simons,” Buffy asked as she took a sip of her second hot chocolate of the night.
They had slipped into an easy conversation talking about nothing really important, but just connecting, becoming friends. It felt good.

“You really want to know?” Spike fidgeted nervously not really wanting to go down this line of questioning.

“Spike, you know more about me that most people. I think I am entitled to know a little about you too.”

“Well, it happened by accident really; see in school I was a real geek, nerd to the core. I loved school and was in all the honor classes.” Spike looked up to see the look of shock that Buffy wasn’t even trying to hide on her face.

“I know it doesn’t quite fit now does it? That’s what a change of hair color and some contact lenses can do. Anyways in school I had a crush on a girl named Cecily. She was in the drama club.”

“And you joined so you could get close to her?”

“Close, she was to be the lead in Romeo and Juliet, but she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed so I was asked to help her understand the text. I thought she really liked me. We were spending all this time together and reading all this romance stuff. I kinda blurred the lines you know.”

“Yeah I know,” Buffy knew intimately; it was what they were doing right now.

“The main actor, the guy playing Romeo, got sick, real sick about three days before opening night and I was the only one who knew all the part. So I subbed in. It was only supposed to be for two nights and yet here I am still doing it.”

“What happened to the girl?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. At first I was really excited getting the part because I was going to kiss her, but once I stepped out on stage something happened, changed within me. I felt alive for the first time; I wasn’t confined by my own limitations and insecurities. I could be who ever I wanted. I could leave my weak self behind.” Spike swallowed hard, it had been a long time since he had even thought of those days let alone speak of them.

“You’re not weak Spike. You are one of the strongest men I have known, granted I haven’t known that many, but still…” Buffy saw something shift within him the look in his eyes changed. She had seen that look right before he had kissed her.

“I had better get you home,” Spike stood and made his way to the door leaving Buffy stunned behind him.

“Why?”

“Because if I don’t take you home now, I will grab you kiss you and take you to bed and not let you go for a very long time.”

“Spike...” Buffy stepped towards him,

“Don’t Buffy. You might think you want this, and on some level that’s true, but your life is going to get really hectic and I don’t want to be another complication right now.” He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. She could feel his restraint. “I want to be the reason you want to love, not the reason to throw it all away,”





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