Chapter 26

“Spike, wait.”

He turned and looked at her and his racing heart and hormones stilled. She was beautiful, no question, but her beauty did not lie within her outward appearance. It lay within her heart. Which she was clearly wearing on her sleeve, point of fact, she was radiating.

“Buffy?” he didn’t dare ask the question but his heart needed to hear the words. As he moved towards her he saw hesitation play across her face.

“I hate your couch,” she blurted.

Well that wasn’t quite the response he was looking for.

“So that’s why you stopped me from taking you safely home, so you could criticize my decorating choices? Well too bad because they we Stefan’s choices not mine. Here, I will give you his number so you can give him a piece of your mind,” He pulled his cell from his back pocket; he stopped as Buffy’s hands stilled his own.

“No, what I am trying to say is that its cream and that’s such a hard color to keep clean…” Now Spike had no idea what was going on but to be fair he was only half listening and half enjoying the warmth that her touch was giving him.

“So it’s the cleaning lady you have…”

“Spike, stop it, I am trying to tell you something important here,”

“What that you are angling to be-- the next Martha Stewart?”

“No, you idiot, I love you and when Cody and I move in here the couch will have to go. With all the sticky fingers just from eating breakfast alone will leave it unusable and I have never been the kind of look but don’t touch kind of parent. And the carpet I don’t even know where to start,” she started to move her hands away but he pulled them into his own.

“What?”

“I wasn’t trying to criticize Spike what I was trying to do was…” He cut her off in the only way that seemed appropriate. He kissed her. He felt her give into the kiss for a moment before reality sank in and she pushed him away.

“What are you doing?” Buffy asked as she tried to get some distance between them but he had her now and there was no way he was going to let her go.

“What I should have done the second I heard the words I love you come out of your mouth,” He ran his hands through her hair and guided her mouth over his own. There was no hesitation, no anger or frustration. Only love.

Buffy didn’t move didn’t think, didn’t judge she just felt. Felt Spikes kiss radiate its way through her body. She felt alive; aroused, moreover she felt something she had never been made to feel from another man before. Loved.

Parker had taken so much more from her than her virginity all those years ago. He had taken her chance to be loved by another man, but by God she was taking it back. Big time. She wrapped her arms around Spike’s body and kissed him back with all the love, lust and excitement that were running through her body.

She broke the kiss and looked into the blue of Spikes eyes and took a moment for it all to sink in.

“I love you, Spike.”

He ducked his head almost embarrassed at her words. She could see his hesitation. “And before you start up about being a complication I do remember someone wise telling me that it was the most simple thing in the world to love and to be loved back.”

Hearing his own words echoed back to him made him smile. “I said that didn’t I?” he started to nuzzle her neck.

“Yes you did.” Buffy tried to keep her concentration, but it was a losing battle as Spike made his way down her neck kissing and licking his way down between her breasts. As much as she didn’t want to she lifted his head getting his full attention.

“You know that my life is about to get all kinds of crazy don’t you? Are you ready for that?” she asked.

“Love, I was born ready, whatever the world has to throw at us let them have it at us. I don’t care. As long as I have you and Cody I’m happy.”

“Most guys don’t love the idea of an instant family.” She had to know where she stood.

“Well it’s a good thing that I am not most guys, I love you Buffy. I want you, want this,” He kissed her again and all the hesitations left her mind. It was her time. Time to live, time to be loved.

****

By the time they had made it into the bedroom some of the wind had been knocked out of Buffy’s sails. She had called Dawn to let her know that she would be having what Cody termed a “sleepover”, and once the ringing in her left ear stopped from the volume of Dawn’s excited scream she was sure her hearing would return to normal.

Although after tonight nothing would ever be normal ever again, she was assured of that. But what was normal? Was it normal to be as scared as she could remember?

“So, this is the bedroom,” she looked around at the room it was spacious her eyes drawn to the king sized mahogany bed. “It’s large; roomy.”

Spike stilled her with his hand on her shoulder. “Buffy.”

She turned to look at him and the nerves took a hold.

“We don’t have to do this tonight.”

“Oh, you don’t want to?” she tried to keep the disappointment from her voice.

“No, I want to, but I get a feeling that you might not want this right now.”

“Right now?” her eyes widened.

“Well, not this second. I like to give a girl a chance to warm up,” Spiked joked as he wrapped his arms around her and leaned in to kiss her.

“That’s the thing you see, the difference between you and me. Numbers.” She put more distance between them.

“Buffy, I think there are a lot more differences than numbers, but I may have to get real close and personal to double check.” He moved towards her not hesitating this time as he kissed the column of her throat.

“Spike, how many people have you slept with?”

Well, that was as good as a cold shower to kill the mood. He stepped back, straightened, and ran his fingers through his hair. Where had that come from? Usually these awkward questions were saved till at least a couple more weeks into a relationship.

Relationship.

That’s what was beginning here and it was more than just sex. He knew that, but she needed to hear it from him too.

“Buffy do you really want a number? Or do you want to know what this means to me?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“Um, maybe both, It’s just that Parker…” Spike stopped her.

“I don’t ever want to here that pricks name again, least of all here in our bedroom right before we make love for the first time. I know what he did to you, took from you, and I don’t just mean physically. Baby, I want to give it all back to you. I want to love you, body and soul. Show you how good it can be. First time every time.”

There were no more words to be spoken, Buffy knew that. It was time her time, their time. To love and be loved.

She took his hand and kissed his palm, she guided it over her breast and closed her eyes as the pleasure of his touch warmed her inside and stilled her racing heart.

“I love you Buffy, Let me love you,” Spike whispered into her ear just before he started kissing below its lobe.

“Yes Spike, love me.”

He laid her down on the bed not hesitating for a moment. The words, the truth, had been spoken and it was time to turn words into actions. He kissed his way down the column of her throat, across her left shoulder, taking the straps of her dress with him as he went. He pulled the dress down further still as he kissed between the hollow of her breasts, moving to take her nipple in his mouth.

She gasped one part surprise, two parts pleasure. She was not thinking, just feeling. That was the thing about making love with someone that you knew loved you back. Trust, she trusted him, his feelings, and went along for the ride.

And what a ride it was turning out to be. Before she had time to fully enjoy his touch on her breast, he had moved further south pulling her panties aside and slipping his finger into her slick channel.

“Oh,” she looked up at him his eyes dark with desire.

“So wet for me, so tight, I want you so bad Buffy but I don’t want to hurt you.”

She reached up and stroked the side of his face.

“You won’t hurt me Spike, I know that.” Thy both knew she was talking about something so much more than what was about to happen.

He moved his fingers in and out readying her for himself, and she was just at the brink when he stopped.

“I know you are almost there baby, but I can’t take much more. I have to have you know.” He quickly unfastened his trousers careful to take the condom from his pocket before they hit the floor. Once he had put it on he was back on top of her his penis pushing slightly at her opening.

“I love you Buffy,” he said as he pushed inside her.

She tried to speak however her breath was momentarily taken away by the sensations coursing though her. Her first sexual encounter was clumsy at best, and the faded memory did not compare to the feelings she was currently experiencing. As he started to move memories faded and instinct kicked in.

She matched him thrust for thrust as though the tension that had been inside her since the first day she had seen Spike had been released. She kissed his mouth, chest, whatever she could reach. Her body seeking the satisfaction that only he could provide.

“Buffy, I need you to come for me.” Spike reached down and circled her clit with his fingers she was already at the edge, but at his first touch, tumbled right over it.

His name was on her lips as she came and she felt the sheer force of him as he found his own release.

It took a few moments for it all to sink in as they lay there on top of one another. Spike murmuring his love for her into her ears. She just smiled and took it all in as if she was the last one to finally get the joke.

However this was no joke she knew that. This is what it was like. This was what making love and being in love felt like.

And as she rolled Spike onto his back and straddled him she couldn’t wait for more.





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