“Spike,” Buffy whimpered as his fingers released the zipper tab and he circled her navel with his tongue, “don’t stop.”
“Not planning to, luv,” he licked across her waist, tracing the skin above her pants.
“Spike,” she groaned and grabbed at him when he moved away after a moment.
“Boots, Buffy,” he sat up and raised one of her feet to unzip the black ankle boot she wore, “gotta go.”
“Oh,” she smiled with a bit of relief and listened to the shoe thud to the floor when he removed it.
The second one quickly followed then she watched him bend forward to work open the laces of his own boots to remove them as well. Each flex and ripple of muscle at his shoulders as he tugged at the shoes intrigued her and, unable to resist, she sat up behind him to slide her arms around his waist. He froze, probably as surprised as she by her actions, when her lips and tongue began touching those muscles and her hands stroked over his washboard abs.
After a moment he realized she wasn’t going to stop and went back to yanking his boots off. The way his body moved and shifted against hers at the simple task was far too arousing for her, but instead of freaking her out like it once might have – enjoying a simple thing with Spike? Getting turned on by it? Eek. Yikes, soulless evil undead vampire there. The Slayer can’t enjoy just being with him while he takes off his stupid shoes – she loved it. She loved him and this and she’d admitted it, stopped denying it so she could actually just shut inner Buffy the hell up and enjoy anything with him she darn well pleased.
Warmth flowed through her entire being at that thought and she tightened her arms around him with a smile.
Happiness. Pure joy.
She’d thought she’d never feel that again. Was having one hell of a time trying to remember the last time she’d ever felt it.
“Buffy,” Spike was looking at her with gentle concern over his shoulder as his hands rested atop hers on his stomach, “ok?”
“Buffy,” she pressed her smiling lips against his neck and twined her fingers through his, “very ok. Buffy,” her lips moved up to whisper against his ear, “in love. Buffy,” she sucked his earlobe into her mouth and moved their joined hands up over his chest, “need Spike.”
“Going cavegirl on me, eh?” he smiled before rising to turn and press her back onto the bed. “Sexy.”
“Not really. Actually happened to me once. Had some bad beer and went all Neanderthal Buffy - sniffing guys and looking to mate …,” she noticed the way he was looking down at her as she rambled about the incident from her Freshman year at college and she trailed off with a slight blush. “It, uh, wasn’t pretty.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” he smirked and shifted to lay on his side next to her, propped up on his right arm and running his left hand down her side. “You actually ‘mate’ with any of the prats you sniffed?”
“Of course not,” she couldn’t resist the little devil inside her that urged her to continue with the memory. “Although, the way he tells it, I was pretty all over Xander.”
“Oh really?” he asked with his hand coming to a stop on her hip and his scarred eyebrow shooting up toward his hairline.
Staring up at him with a smile still on her face, she totally forgot what they’d been talking about in amazement and wonder at this moment.
This, she knew as she raised her right hand to gently touch that scar then trails her fingers over his cheeks, was what she’d needed.
She’d known they could have this for longer than she cared to admit, even now that she accepted her love for him. She’d known that they could have moments like this – gentle, joking, smiling, and so loving – just as easily as they had their knock down drag out fights, body battering fucks and those gut wrenching hateful arguments.
With him she could have it all and never have to hold back one bit of herself because he took it all. Good, bad, ugly, beautiful, sweetness or pure venom. If she dished it he could and would take it.
He was a soulless thing with a dead, unmoving heart sitting in his chest while she was a flesh and blood human complete with soul yet as she laid there looking up at him staring down at her with such devotion and emotion she wondered if she could possibly love him as much as he loved her.
How could he ever love anything more than she did when he lacked the very things a person allegedly needed to feel or give love with?
Would she ever be able to surrender all of herself to him as he had her? She always held some part of herself back from everything she encountered, needing to hoard little bits from the world so she could survive it without being destroyed by anyone but herself. Spike knew that and challenged her at every turn to just let go. Give herself to life as easily as she had death.
Could she ever really do it, though?
“The hardest thing in this world is to live in it,” Buffy remembers hearing Dawn say that and remembers further back to saying those same words herself to her sister on that platform a seeming lifetime ago. She remembers ordering the crying girl to be brave and live. Remembers making it her dying wish and expecting Dawnie to obey it as she leapt into the portal to give the world her gift. Now she had to practice what she had preached to her sister and she wondered if she could do it.
Spike’s hands were on her face, drawing her attention from her erratic thoughts back to him. Helping her find a center, a focal point again so the chaos inside her stopped and she was able to make some kind of sense of this world.
God, she loved that he did that for her.
He was the only one who had ever seen her struggling to keep herself sane in the madness she lived through day in and day out as the Slayer. He saw it and threw himself in front of her to stop her cold in her tracks whenever she thought of surrendering to that madness and just giving up. No matter what she had done and still did do to him for his efforts, he never stopped saving her. Loving her.
She looks up into his silently questioning blue eyes and remembers what she came here for. To show him that she returned that love and that she believed that they could make it good and right and work.
With gentle hands she urged him on to his back then sat up to run her palms and fingers over every inch of his bared torso. She didn’t know how it was that he was able to love her like he did and she didn’t care about the how’s when all she needed to know was that he did love her and she did know that.
He sighed her name as her lips joined the explorations of her hands and she knew he was surrendering control to her, sensing that her needs had changed and letting her do with him whatever she needed to find her satisfaction.
She already had surrendered herself to him as he did her. She’d done it by coming here tonight and now she was showing him that as she let the knowledge flow through her own system and give her peace while putting all her wasted denials and protests to rest.
Lifting her eyes to look into his, allowing no barriers between them as she gazed at him with the love she felt, while her hands moved to carefully unbutton the fly of his jeans. A smile touched her lips as she slowly worked the metal fastenings open. If it weren’t for his alternating from the zipper to button fly she’d think he really did only have and wear the one pair of pants. Instead she knew by the flies that he had different styles of clothing, he just didn’t put any variation into the colors he chose.
Sure sign this is real. She always get sappy like this when she’s in love, she thinks with a shake of her head to clear out the warm fuzzies she was getting just by thinking of his clothes.
Those warm fuzzies changed to hot pulse pounding arousal when her fingers finished opening the jeans and came into contact with cold, hard Spike. Her eyes left his to skim lingeringly over his chest, which was heaving with labored breaths he took to try and maintain some control over the body she was driving to the brink of climax with her actions, to admire his length as she took it in her hand.
The black denim on his hips and rich brown curls surrounding the base of his shaft were such stunning contrasts to the pale white of his skin. With fingers that had become skilled under his guidance she ran her hand up his cock, pausing to rub at the slight bend in the shaft about two inches from the tip that curved the organ in a way that allowed it to touch places inside her she’d never known could have possibly existed, to peel back the foreskin covering the broad purplish head from her sight. A single milky white drop of moisture dotted the tip, indicating the extent of his arousal, and she used her thumb to spread the drop around until the skin it touched glistened invitingly.
Looking up to meet his increasingly hungry gaze she removed her hand to bring that thumb to her mouth and lick the trace of his essence left on the pad of her finger. When the digit was clean she shifted to her knees to pull his pants off then moved to kneel between his lightly trembling thighs. Her hands ran reassuringly over those quivering muscles, loving the slight tickle of the hairs on his skin rubbing against her palms and fingertips, and she murmured incoherent words of comfort to try soothing the need that was tensing his whole body.
As she lowered her head to run her tongue lightly over the tip of his shaft she thought for a moment that this was a bit funny, the way their positions were completely reversed. Many times he’d bury his head against her core, attempting to soothe her trembling aching body with touches and sounds much like she was doing right now, as he brought her to screaming climaxes with his lips and teeth and tongue and fingers.
She looked up at him again, feeling thrills of power and love and satisfaction run through her as she saw his hands gripping the blankets one either side of his hips as his half-closed desire darkened eyes focused on her hands and mouth at his cock. When his gaze flicked to meet hers she wrapped her lips around him and began sucking his length into her mouth.
“Christ, Slayer,” he almost shouted as his hips bucked upward at the overwhelming sensations of entering the wet heat and watching her take him like this.
His use of her title didn’t anger her for once. In fact it made her smile inwardly as she lightly pumped the bottom half of erection with her hand while her mouth slurped at the top half.
She knew he called her that now to try getting control of his body. To try and hold back his urges to fist his hands in her hair, pull her head to him and just fuck her face. He’d done it once before and she’d gone wild with reaction at it. First, amazingly, climaxing at the same moment he did while he used her mouth like she left him use the rest of her body. Stunned that she’d gotten off on that treatment she’d immediately beat him up a bit then run away to try and pretend it hadn’t happened.
Ever since that one time he’d forced himself to fight that urge like he was now, but she didn’t want him to this time.
“Don’t hold back,” she raised her head to order with glistening lips.
For a moment he just continued to clutch at the covers and gulp in useless breaths before her offer sank in and, almost afraid to believe she meant it, he hesitantly moved his hands to sink them into her short blonde hair. Her tongue darted out to drag over his slit and his fingers tangled roughly in the strands as his hips arched up for more contact.
When he urged her to, she took him back into her mouth.
When he urged her to, she raised and lowered her suckling lips on his length.
Buffy slurped and bounced and squeezed and touched however his hands and body told her she needed to to bring him to climax.
As she pleasured him she found herself moving to straddle his leg and grind against it in time with the motions of her mouth. He knew what she was doing and shifted the limb to increase the friction and push her toward the same release just moments from rushing through him. To hold off that release, she gripped the base of his cock firmly between her thumb and forefinger in a way she knew would delay ejaculation and pulled her mouth away to gulp in air as she ground her clit harder against him.
When he growled deep in his throat for her to finish what she’d started now, she looked him in the eyes and whispered hoarsely, “I love you, Spike,” before taking his entire length slowly and deeply into her throat.
He started coming the second she removed her hand to replace the firm hold of her fingers with the wet softness of her lips. His hands clamped down on her head to hold it in place as his hips bucked uncontrollably beneath her, sending his cold juices flooding into her welcoming body. The convulsing of his body as he came caused the leg she rode to jerk and shift hard against her and she almost blacked out from the orgasm that went slamming through her as she pressed hard against his skin and concentrated with all her might on not biting him or forgetting to breathe and swallow as she came too.
Spike had to ease her away from his still hard, but no longer spurting length and she collapsed against him with her sweaty forehead lying on his stomach. They laid there trying to regain enough breath to speak for several moments before he began tugging her further up his body, a nearly painful hiss escaping his lips as the jeans she still wore rubbed over his sensitive cock.
“You ever do that again and I’ll be dust,” he panted out against her cheek as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Didn’t like it?” she tipped her head back to ask curiously.
“Bloody loved it, pet. Nearly did that spontaneous combustion thing ‘cause of it,” he rolled her on to her back and began moving down her body. “Now it’s your turn.”
Stretching languidly beneath him she moaned as his teeth latched on to her zipper tab and he slowly began pulling it down, his nose brushing over the panties covering her skin as the pants opened for him. When the zipper would go no lower he hooked his fingers in the material at her waist, sliding under the elastic of her underwear as well, and started urging it down. Her hips arched without prompting to ease the garments’ journey from her body and she eagerly kicked the pants and underwear away when he pushed them to her feet.
Her legs feel open with a sigh when he settled between them.
That sigh became a moan when he placed his cool hands on the soft warm skin of her inner thighs to push them even further apart and he inhaled deeply. She looked down the length of her body to see his head poised just inches from her exposed femininity. An expression of primal lust and satisfaction was on his face as he savored the smell of her sweat and arousal.
Sensing her gaze he looked up to meet it causing her to gasp and arch her hips toward him when she saw the extent of the hunger in those bottomless blue eyes. A hint of yellow gleamed in those depths and, instead of being put off by the small reminder of his vampirism, the flecks of demonic color made her whimper for him to hurry.
She was truly his now, she realized as she watched the hints of gold grow deeper before he buried his face in the moist curls at the apex of her thighs.
He parted her folds with fingers that sent shivers of delight through her body then delved into the opening with his tongue. He licked lightly, at first, lapping up the juices spread around her core and thighs from the orgasm she’d already had riding his leg. Then he began applying more pressure. Rasping the rough flat of his tongue over her slit before hardening to circle her clit with the very tip.
When he thrust that talented organ into her and curled it to lick at the sensitive tissue lining her core her thighs clamped shut as her hips pushed up for him to lick deeper. She was eternally grateful that he didn’t have to breathe like she was trying to do with desperate pants between broken whimpers of his name as his tongue thrust deeper and harder inside her while his nose ground against her clit.
For a minute she sank her fingers into his soft bleached hair and held his head even harder against her, then she relaxed her legs to free him and began urging his body to lie atop hers.
“Wasn’t finished,” he panted down at her as he braced himself above her with his elbows on the bed on each side of her ribs.
“I need you,” with one hand she urged his head down until their lips almost touched as the other slid down their bodies to curl around his erection, “in me.”
“I thought,” he hissed and his eyes drifted shut for a moment as she guided his tip into her warmth, “that I,” his eyes opened to look down at her with such heat she couldn’t breathe for a moment under it’s intensity, “was supposed to be making love to you, luv.”
With a shuddering breath she moved her hand from his cock to his butt to pull him down into her further and whispered up at him, “You are.”
He moved a hand from under her to stroke her cheek and she turned into the caress as her body opened to accommodate his length deep inside her. So deep she knew they were joined in every sense of the word.
Her hand trailed up his flexing back and her legs wrapped around his waist as he slowly pulled out then rocked back into her to start a steady rhythm to their joining.
God, she was loving that word. ‘Join.’ Joined to Spike. Joining with Spike. For once in her life completely connected to something.
Those were heady thoughts that had her clenching him convulsively within her without even knowing it until he went still above her.
“Keep that up and you can forget about slow an’ easy, Slayer,” he groaned warningly as the internal gripping threatened his control.
“We can do that later,” she repeated the contractions and wriggled her hips against his.
“Christ, I love you,” he buried his face against her neck and sucked at the skin covered the pulse pounding there as his hips began moving in and out of her faster.
She couldn’t get the words out of her gaping lips to tell him she felt the same as his increasingly hard thrusts drove the ability to speak from her so she settled for pulling his face from her neck to look into those eyes of his with all she felt showing in her green gaze.
Their gazes remained locked as he forced a hand between their pounding bodies to search out her clit and grind against the nub with his fingers in ways his groin couldn’t.
His breathing was growing as erratic as hers when he broke eye contact to press a devouring kiss against her lips. Whimpers and moans and keening sounds of pleasure she made no effort to stifle poured from her mouth when he left it to take her left breast deep into his mouth.
As he worked to draw the entire mound of flesh into his hungry opening and the noises escaping her increased in volume she knew she had the answer to the last of her self-doubting questions. This – this moment, this passion, this love, this joining and this man – was life and she was finally ready to live it with nothing held back.
Everything inside her fell into place, just as it had the moment she leapt into the portal that ended her life the second time, and crying out Spike’s name she let go of all memories of death to grab on to this moment and life with all she had.
~*~*~
“I don’t think she’s coming out,” Jonathan said worriedly as he and the others stared intently at the monitor in the van that showed them the interior of Spike’s crypt.
“What do you suppose they’re doing?” Andrew asked without taking his eyes off the screen they all watched waiting for the Slayer to re-emerge from the hole in the crypt floor she and Spike had disappeared through well over an hour ago.
“Whatever it is, it’s taking too damned long,” Warren leapt up angrily, hitting his head on the van’s roof. “If she doesn’t come out like an hour ago this plan is for shit.”
“We are so screwed,” Jonathan whined the obvious.
“No,” Warren, their currently not-so-fearless leader, snapped, “we’ve still got options.”
With gulps and wide eyes Andrew and Jonathan listened to the other boy talk maniacally about other ways to dispose of Katrina’s body now that pinning her death on the Slayer was no longer and option.
We are so screwed, the short brunette thought and a sideways glance at the blonde beside him showed that Andrew agreed.
~*~
The End
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