Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to my betas Enchantress and Allison- they both really rock and make me not so nervous. I hope you all like this chapter.

Disclamier - The song belongs to Britney Spears.
Buffy walked back into the Bronze in search of Willow, scanning the crowd and identifying Angel with Cordy at a pool table. He was trying to teach Cordy how to play but paused as he noticed Buffy, shooting a glare her way and expecting one in return. Buffy merely waved and continued through the crowds to find Willow.

She finally sighted Willow, sitting with Xander at a table in the corner, and was on her way over to them when Harmony jumped in front of her, a nasty scowl on her face.

"Look here, Bunny- I don't know what you were doing dancing with my Spikey, but you need to stay the hell away from him," Harmony sneered, almost nose-to-nose with Buffy. "Just because you're Angel's sister doesn't mean I have to like you at all."

Buffy rolled her eyes and tried to push past her, but Harmony wouldn't budge. "Oh no, we aren't done talking yet."

Buffy narrowed her eyes at Harmony and said, "Look, Harm, it's pretty sad that you're so upset over a dance. It was just that, a little dance, so if you're that jealous about Spike, then you sure as hell have a long, tough road ahead of you."

Harmony wrapped her hand around Buffy's arm and started pulling her away from the crowds, Buffy fighting the whole way. Once they were alone in a dark corner, Harmony looked at Buffy and said, "Don't think I'm dumb, Buffy. I see the way you look at him." Buffy laughed,confusing Harmony. "What?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and said, "Harmony, last year you asked me how to spell yellow, so I think that my thinking you're dumb is more like a compliment."

She went to leave, but Harmony stopped her once more and said, glaring daggers at Buffy, "You'll never be enough for him."

"I won't be enough?! Look at you, you halfwit! At least I'll have more than you'll have after high school." Buffy put her hands on her hips and smirked. "Do you really think Spike is gonna wanna be with somebody who is truly nothing?"

Harmony's eyes widened in shock, her mouth dropping open. Not knowing what else to say, she snapped, "You stupid little bitch."

Buffy rolled her eyes again, and sighed. "Look, I don't wanna fight with you, Harmony. I'm just gonna go. You stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours."

By the time she finally got home, she was completely worn out and emotionally drained. Luckily, there was something she could use to take her mind off Spike - her lyric book. Whenever she was sad or mad or just in need of some companionship, she would write her own songs to express her feelings since she had a hard time expressing them to the people she loved.

Buffy picked up her pink pen and began to write, not knowing what she was writing but knowing she had to get it all off her chest.

Dear Diary
Today I saw a boy
And I wondered if he noticed me
He took my breath away

Dear Diary
I can't get him off my mind
And it scares me
'Cause I've never felt this way

No one in this world
Knows me better than you do
So diary I'll confide in you

Dear Diary
Today I saw a boy
As he walked by I thought he smiled at me

And I wondered
Does he know what's in my heart
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe



Buffy smiled at the book and was just about to continue before she heard a knock at her window. She jumped from her bed in fright, wondering who could be knocking at her window so late at night. As she made her way across the room, she noticed with a gasp that it was Spike who was waiting outside. She opened the window and hissed, "Spike, what the hell are you doing here?!"


Spike grinned and climbed through the window, admitting with a low chuckle, "Buffy, I know you must think I'm completely crazy."


Buffy nodded, feeling entirely uncomfortable as she stood before him with nothing on but pink shorts and a white tank top.


Spike ran his eyes over her, reveling in how sweet and virginal she looked, while at the same time, incredibly sexy. She was so pure and innocent - he didn't wanna be the one to destroy that, and that made him wonder - why was he standing in her bedroom?

"Look, Spike, not to be rude, but what are you doing here?" Buffy asked with an amused, yet confused _expression.


Spike walked closer to her until he was standing right in front of her and said softly, "I didn't get the chance to say goodnight."


Buffy suddenly felt very hot despite her considerable lack of clothing. Spike lifted his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling as he felt Buffy lean into his touch slowly. He bent his head, and Buffy knew this was it - he was gonna kiss her, and she was nervous as hell. She'd waited for this, but now she wanted to crawl under the bed and hide. What if she messed it up completely? She had no idea what to do at all.


Spike brushed his lips against hers softly and wrapped a free arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his hard chest. His tongue darted out to taste her lips, and though Buffy wasn't sure what to do, she opened her mouth and suddenly, Spike's tongue was dancing with hers. She was starting to get the hang of it when she gently bit his bottom lip, taking it into her mouth and sucking on it gently, making Spike moan slightly.

Buffy felt pride run through her body as she heard Spike's moan. Spike let his other free arm wrap around Buffy as she locked her arms around his neck. Spike stopped and looked at her, noticing her lips, swollen from his attention, and her eyes slightly closed. Buffy opened them slowly, gazing at him in awe.


He stood there, staring at her adoringly for a minute, before gently giving her a soft, sensual kiss and whispering, "Goodnight, love."


Buffy walked him to the window and watched him crawl down before replying softly, "Goodnight, Spike."

Should I tell him how I feel
Or would that scare him away
Diary, tell me what to do
Please tell me what to say

Dear diary
One touch of his hand
Now I can't wait to see that boy again

He smiled
And I thought my heart could fly
Diary, do you think that we'll be more than friends?
I've got a feeling we'll be so much more


A/N - A special thanks to all of you who reviewed - MarstersGirl13, DaniD, 76_Bloody_Trombones, Dee, Seraiza, Smitten, and vitalis. All of you are amazing! I know all of you are confused by this chapter because one minute Spike is telling himself he can't be with her, and the next his kissing her, It will all come out very soon I have a reason for everything I do.





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