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thanks sooo much for the reviews and thanks to my beta!! Hope you like this!
Chapter 12: How Do You Feel?

“What the hell is Spike doing here?” Riley demanded as Buffy stumbled to her feet, attempting to hide the now empty bottle of tequila.

“Riley,” she said quickly, her voice still notably slurred. “We were just hanging out, everyone else left a little while ago so we decided to-"

“Get drunk?” Riley finished coolly.

Buffy swallowed, hard. “It’s not what it looks like,” she said softly.

Spike had been silently watching the couple before he spoke. “We were just talkin’ and having a few drinks, mate.”

“Shut up Spike,” Buffy snapped, not wanting to make things worse by having him open his big mouth.

Riley regarded her, his face tense. “I think I’ll just go,” he gritted out and started down the walkway.

“Riley,” Buffy called out, feeling desperate. “Please, just come inside.” At his look she pleaded harder, “Please?”

At her desperate plea Riley turned and walked slowly back towards the house, glaring at Spike on his way through the door, shutting it firmly.

Buffy turned to go into her house when Spike pulled on her sleeve, opening his mouth to say something. Buffy cut him off. “Spike… just… leave, okay?”

“Bu-“ he began but she stopped him.

“Just go,” she said, running a hand through her hair.
Spike wasn’t going to let it go. “We need to talk Summers,” he said seriously.

Buffy opened the door and let out a sigh, “No Spike, we don’t.” Then she closed the door softly, leaving Spike on her porch, staring at the door.

Fuck, he thought with a wince, this is going to require a hell of a lot of beer.

The sight of Riley with his arms crossed greeted Buffy as she entered the living room.

“What the hell is going on between you two?” he demanded loudly.

“We were just hanging out,” Buffy explained tersely, “I wasn’t aware we weren’t allowed.”

Riley shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around the blondes’ confusing relationship. “First you tell me you hate him and then you get drunk with him like you’re all buddy-buddy, and I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“What?” Buffy asked, exasperated, “What is it I’m not telling you?”

Riley’s jaw clenched tightly. “Something about you and Spike.”

“Nothing ever happened between us,” she lied. “We’re just…trying to get along better. Make amends.”

Okay, Buffy reasoned, that was partly true, but she couldn’t tell him about prom night, it was too personal, too intimate. She didn’t quite understand why, but maybe…maybe her and Spike’s closure wasn’t as done as she thought.

“Listen,” Riley was speaking again. “Maybe I’m just overreacting, but seeing you with him…I don’t think he’s a good guy, Buffy. Not someone I’d picture you being friends with.”

Buffy pushed the thoughts of prom night from her mind. “Riley, I can be friends with whoever I want- it’s not really up to you.”

“I know,” Riley replied, “but I don’t want to…” he trailed off, his gaze shifting down.

“To what?” Buffy asked, her voice almost harsh against his soft one.

“Nothing,” Riley said quickly. “Are we okay?”

Buffy knew she had two choices. The first was to say ‘no we aren’t okay’ and actually and actually get all their problems out in the open, but that would mean touching on the subject of Spike again which she most definitely didn’t want to do. The second choice was to give a cheery smile and say ‘of course!’, followed by her kissing him.

She chose the latter.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Riley whispered against her lips and headed back out into the night.

Buffy watched him go, wondering if she’d made the wrong choice. Don’t think about it, Buffy told herself, just go to bed.

As Buffy crawled into bed, her head pounding, her thoughts stubbornly flitted back to the rest of her prom night.

Buffy was currently sandwiched between Spike and the upholstery of the back seat of the car, her body singing with pleasure as Spike placed butterfly kisses down her neck and nipped at her collarbone.

“Mmm…” Buffy moaned softly, shifting slightly so Spike was cradled between her legs.

“Buffy,” Spike rasped as he felt her moving her hips against his. It boggled him how they’d gone from talking softly in the dark rain to heatedly kissing and apparently dry humping. Something had broken in him, his desire for her hitting him hard and by god he didn’t want to let go.

“Spike,” Buffy said, panting slightly. She was drunk on desire, need and pleasure. She couldn’t stop if she tried.

Spike’s hands moved to pull Buffy’s straps off, guiding the top half of the dress down to her hips, leaving her upper body bare. Buffy arched up as he began fondling her breasts, reveling in the heat and pressure of his talented hands.

“God, Spike,” She breathed, moving her hips in time with him.

“Mmm…” was all Spike managed to say as he gently tugged her dress further down so it was gathered around her knees.

Buffy tensed at the sensation of the cool air against her exposed body. This was as far as she and Angel had ever gotten. He hadn’t ever touched her ‘down there’, but apparently Spike had no objections to it.
Spike deftly moved her thong to the side and caressed her folds, letting his fingers lazily run up and down.
Buffy gasped, squeezing her eyes shut at the powerful sensations.

“Oh,” She panted, her pulse racing as she felt herself becoming wetter by the second.

“Spike I need you to…” she trailed off, having trouble forming the words. Suddenly, her eyes popped open and she critically eyed Spike.

“You’re wearing clothes,” she said and Spike pulled his fingers away, startled.

Buffy almost whimpered out loud at the loss of his touch, but managed to further explain her words.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” she clarified, tugging at his shirt.

Spike smirked. “Well if it isn’t the bossy chit rearing her ugly head.”

Buffy frowned for a second then burst out laughing. “I am bossy,” she said authoritatively. “Now take off your clothes. I’m not going to be the only one naked here.”
She said flippantly, trying to cover up her nerves.
Spike chuckled and complied, divesting himself of his attire.

Buffy’s face flushed as she glanced down. “I didn’t realize you don’t wear…anything.”

A small teasing smile played on his lips and he took her hand, guiding it to his fully erect manhood. “I don’t mind, do you?” he asked as Buffy slowly began moving her hand up and down.

“No,” she admitted, “not really.”

Buffy had given Angel hand jobs before, but usually they were relatively fully clothed, and they weren’t almost about to…oh god.

Spike’s eyes rolled up as Buffy’s hot hand fondled him, but just as quickly as she had started, she stopped.

“Are we really going to do this?” she asked, her doubt clearly displayed on her face.

“I don’t know,” Spike answered, cupping her face. “Are we?”

Buffy stared into his endless blue eyes and found her answer. They’d found their way here and she was too far gone to stop now. She needed him the way she needed air. And as terrifying as that thought was, she wasn’t about to back away from it.

“Yes,” she said softly, then louder, “Yes we are.”

They explored each other’s body, enjoying the feel of the other’s flesh and soon Spike was once again touching her folds and this time, she didn’t stop him.
“God, please Spike,” she begged, feeling her need for release.

He moved his fingers faster and Buffy felt that she was about to explode.

“In…me…” she was able to convey through her moans.

Spike didn’t miss a beat while fishing through his dropped pants for the condom he’d put in there, finding it and rolling it on. If someone had told him four hours ago he’d be placing it on his cock to have sex with Buffy, not Drusilla, he’d have laughed his ass off.

“Luv, look at me,” he commanded and Buffy’s gaze drifted to his face, her eyes glassy, her cheeks flushed.

“Are you sure?” he asked seriously, slowing his hand’s movement.

Instead of vocally responding, she guided his cock to her pussy and rubbed herself against him. Taking that as a ‘yes’, Spike braced himself and slowly slid into her.

Buffy tensed at the sudden invasion and resisted the urge to push him away. She knew from her friends it would hurt, so she tried to relax as Spike ever so gently slid deep enough till he was pressed against her barrier.

“Last chance Buffy,” he told her, gritting his teeth.
Well there was a loaded statement if ever was one Buffy thought, but swallowed her nerves.

With a gentle thrust, she pushed him past her barrier and winced in pain, letting out a small whimper.

Tears came, unbidden, and she closed her eyes to keep them at bay.

“Hold…on,” she gritted through her teeth.

Spike waited patiently, caressing her body and softly kissing her lips before she whispered, “Okay.”

He began to move slowly, not wanting to hurt her more and picked up his pace as Buffy responded beneath him with small moans.

Buffy was in heaven. All the sensations were swirling around in her and god she needed it…needed…

“Oh!” She cried out, shaking as her orgasm overtook her.

Spike shortly followed, letting out her name in a roar.
They laid there, feeling sated and everything felt, well…perfect. They slowly drifted off to sleep, wrapped together in the car.

When Buffy came to she started to stretch, but when her movements were halted, she saw that Spike was still curled around her.

Oh my god, she thought, glancing at Spike. I just had sex with Spike Giles. Suddenly the awkwardness that had eluded her the whole night came back with a vengeance.

She had just had sex with someone she’d professed to hate.

Buffy winced as she sat up, her lower body sore. Shame filled her and she closed her eyes, hoping it would all go away.

“Buffy?” she turned to see Spike stirring and he rubbed his eyes.

“What time is it?” he asked, yawning. Buffy glanced at the car clock, 2:30 am.

“Late,” she said shortly and wiggled her gown back on, trying not to look at the big creases in the dress.
Spike sat up as well and pulled on his pants, “Bloody hell.”

Buffy climbed into the front seat and started up the car. She felt gross and sticky; the residue of their spendings and her sweat clung to her skin.

“I need to get home. I’ll drop you off on the way,” Buffy informed him, keeping her eyes ahead as she started the car and pulled on to the road.

Spike threw on his shirt and shoes and hoisted himself into the passenger seat. “Thanks.” The pair was silent, lost in their own thoughts.

Buffy drove down Cherry Street, and stopped at the stoplight. “Which way from here?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Down Horne Street and a left on Brady,” Spike replied.

He snuck a glance at Buffy and saw that her eyes were solely focused on the road; she wouldn’t even look at him after what they’d shared.

Not that he thought something would come out of it, but the least she could do was acknowledge the fact they’d had sex. And, he reminded himself, it was her first time.

Buffy pulled up a few feet from his house and put the car in park. Spike sat there, waiting for her to say something, anything.

“Well,” she began, “night.”

“Right,” Spike said quickly, “See ya around Summers.”

He jumped out of the car and started up to his house. He turned around to wave or smile ,to give some sort of sign that everything would be okay, but Buffy was already driving away.

Buffy blinked in surprise as a salty liquid touched her lips. She was crying, Buffy realized and quickly brushed them the tears away.

She had always wondered what would have happened if she and Spike had actually talked about what had happened that night, said something to ease the incredible awkwardness.

After that night, she’d only seen Spike one last time before he left for New York- at the Graduation Party.

They barely spoke more than a greeting, and Buffy wondered whether it was because there was too little or too much to say. Judging by the complicated feelings she was having now, it was probably the latter.

And now, here they were again; just as confusing as ever. What did she want? Buffy asked herself, but she couldn’t think of any kind of answer.



please don't be mad--I promise this will be Spuffy all the way, but be patient!!





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