Author's Chapter Notes:
I haven’t updated in awhile, but I haven’t stopped writing. In fact, I’ve been writing more than ever (and yes, it’s Spuffy, what else is there really?). I’ve been writing smaller stories for my friends on livejournal -- look it up, -- as Christmas presents. There aren’t all done, but I’m going to share them with you now as they are completed.

Thank you for reading. I hope to start working on my WIPs soon. (I don’t know about you, but I miss them).

Happy New Year!

--Jennifer (facingthesun)
Disclaimers: I own nothing. Thank you to Joss for letting me play without being sued. Lines borrowed from Lovers’ Walk
Gift for: basilio_the_cat
Beta’d: yes
Finished: yes, for now anyway

“I could’ve gone bowling…if I were asked. I bowl. I mean, I haven’t done it since middle school where we used a flat basketball and plastic pins, but I remember being a natural.”

“Why didn’t you ask to go with them?”

“I couldn’t do that.” Buffy shrugged, looking at the chipped polish on her fingernails. “Angel, it was a couple thing…”



“We…I could bowl…”

“Really?” Buffy asked, her face lighting up with hope. “Maybe we could catch up with them!”

“If you really want to…”

“I should change first! I’ll run home and change my clothes and you can pick me up in half an hour—no, make that a full hour.”


“I know it’ll be late, but I think it’ll be nice to make an appearance, you know? If the bowling alley closes we can always go to the late movie.”

“Are you sure--.”

“I know the last movie we saw was a tad on the X-rated side, but who knows what’ll be showing? I’m crossing my fingers for something Disney myself.” Chatting happily, Buffy gathered her coat and bag. “I’ll see you in an hour. Don’t be late.” With a small smile, she kissed Angel’s cheek. “It feels like I haven’t had a date with my boyfriend in forever. This’ll be good for us, I know it. ”

Looking at the clock, Buffy closed her eyes and hoped that her tears wouldn’t smudge her newly applied mascara.

“Maybe something came up… Some demons could’ve jumped him on the way over here. He could be hurt, he could be…”

Trying to control her hurt feelings, Buffy put a leather jacket over her dress and shoved a stake in its pocket.

“Oh, he’d better have a reason for standing me up.”

With a frown on her face, Buffy stomped on the sidewalks of Sunnydale. Her curled hair flew behind her and she found the sound of her boots smacking the pavement oddly empowering.

“And more! Much more than this! I did it my way!”

Buffy glared at the back of Spike’s head, instantly recognizing his hair and intoxicated bellowing. He was slouched on a park bench and his face was covered in a mixture of wet and dry tears.

“Why? Why’d you do it, baby?”

“Spike,” Buffy demanded, hand on her hip. “Have you seen Angel?”

“Why did you leave me? Weren’t we happy here?”

“Drusilla left you? Good for her. Glad she came to her senses. Does that mean you came back just to sniffle all over my town?”

“Shut up!” Spike snarled, throwing a bottle at Buffy. “It’s all your fault anyway!”

“I’m sure it is,” she snorted. “Did you ever think she finally realized that you’re just a big loser?”

“It’s his fault too.” Pulling another bottle from his jacket, Spike took a long sip and silently offered the drink to Buffy.

“Ew! No way!”

“He brainwashed her.”


“Who else, pet? Come on, keep up with me here! He messed with her…she can’t get enough of that sod.”

“Is Drusilla in town too? If she were in town, she’d be bothering Angel, right? Maybe so much that he’d lose track of time?”

“Is that why you reek of cheap perfume? Angel stood you up? Bet he smelled you coming and he headed for the hills.”

“Why did I even bother?”

“Hey! Wait up!”

“Go to hell, Spike.”

“I need a curse! Something painful and full of pus, something that’ll make Angel pay! The shop’s closed and I need someone to help me out.”

“And I look like I’d know about curses, how?”

“That cute little redhead that you hang with--.”


“Wait! This is all your bloody fault!” Spike yelled, standing in the middle of the road. “It was the truce with you that did it! Dru said I'd gone soft. That I wasn't demon enough for the likes of her a-and I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care.”

“Funny, I’m not caring either.”

“So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would flirt!” he sniffled dramatically. “I caught her on a park bench, just like the one back there, making out with a sodding chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting!”

“And you’re so much better,” Buffy laughed, almost amused as Spike followed on her heels like a lost puppy. He followed her all the way up to the window of Angel’s mansion.

“Oh, no. Somebody’s in for a beating.”

Ignoring Spike’s singing, Buffy saw Angel sitting in the same chair where she had left him hours before. “He’s still reading that book!”

“Bet he had no intention of keeping your date.”

Buffy’s lower lip jutted out and she crossed her arms. “He…why would he do that?”

“Because he’s a fucking asshole!”

“Well,” she began, but gasped once the window she was looking through shattered. “Spike! Are you crazy?! You can’t—you threw a rock through his window!”

“Like you even deserve her! She dressed up for you, you sod! She got all dolled up and you didn’t have the bloody decency to--.”

“Spike! Uh—run!” Laughing at the situation, she tugged on his arm and pulled him away from the mansion. “You shouldn’t have done that!”

“I can do whatever I bloody-well—hello,” he said, tripping over his feet and falling to the ground. “Do you see what you’ve done to me?”


“This is all your fault!”

“Yeah, yeah. Broken record, much?”


“Oops, caught.”

“Just shut up,” Buffy hissed before turning to face Angel. “Angel.”

“What’s going on? My window—what are you doing with Spike?”

“I think the real question is: where were you two hours ago? Because I thought we were going bowling.”

“Bowling?” Spike snickered, lying on his back. “You never mentioned that, pet. I would’ve stood you up too. Who goes bowling nowadays?”

“Shut up! Angel, I’m trying to understand. We agreed that you’d pick me up. What happened?”

“I got…sidetracked.”


“What a bloody poof! What kinda bloke gets sidetracked when his girlfriend looks like that?”

Buffy’s jaw dropped, flattered by Spike’s comment. Before she could say anything, Angel crushed her by mumbling the words she’d been dreading to hear for weeks.

“She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just friends.”


“Oh, now you’ve done it.” Spike clumsily got to his feet and he wrapped his arms around Buffy as she cried. “You prick. You good-for-nothing—you don’t need him, Slayer. Spike’ll take care of you now.”

“What? D-don’t touch me!”

“There, there,” he cooed, patting her head. “Angel’s a bad, bad man.”

Sheltered in Spike’s firm embrace, Buffy’s heart broke further when Angel turned on his heel, leaving her in the arms of her enemy. “I-I can’t believe him. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Why would he act like this?”

“Shhh…” In a drunken daze, Spike tucked her under his chin as he stroked the soft curls of her hair. “Tis not your fault.”

“Oh, really?” Buffy laughed through her tears. “Your tune has really changed, Spike.”

“Lucky for you, I hate him loads more than I hate you, my sweet.”

“Your sweet… God, wish I had a Kleenex…”

“I’d offer my sleeve, but I’ve been using it all evening.”

“Gross—you’re so disgusting.” Against her nature, Buffy rested her forehead against Spike’s shoulder just long enough for her to catch her breath. “God, how pathetic am I? I should’ve seen this coming. But I was so stupid! I actually thought we’d be able to date without being able to…you know. I thought we’d try, but—damn it! I don’t think we could even be friends now.”

“Dru wanted us to be friends. It’s fucking cruel just for them to mention it, yeah?”

“I hate him. I want to hate him…”

“You won’t though, because you can’t.” He backed away, leaving Buffy secretly missing his closeness. “You’ll never hate him, just like you’ll never be his friend. You’ll be in love until it kills you both. You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll think you’ll hate each other so much that it’ll make you quiver, but nothing will change really.”

“Spike, are you still talking about me and Angel? As you saw, we don’t fight and uh, we can’t shag--.”

“Love isn’t about brains, pet. It’s not about what’s right and what’s wrong, it’s about blood. Blood screaming inside, demanding for you to work its will…” Suddenly he was flush against her, his eyes shining into hers. “Speaking of blood… Mmm, your smell…”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Buffy whimpered, wiping her soggy eyes. “Minutes ago you said I smelled cheap.”

“Hey, things can change. Opinions can go wonky…” Peeling down her jacket, he ran a finger across her bare neck. “Slayer, I haven’t had a woman in weeks…”

“And by ‘had,’ you mean what exactly?”

“Always wondered what it’d be like with a Slayer…especially one with a rep like yourself. Men lose their souls in you…”

“You need a soul to lose one and right now I think the only thing that you have is a brain spoiled by way too much alcohol.”

“Aw, come on, kitten. Last I checked I didn’t have a curse, but you can test that theory by giving me all the moments of happiness that you can muster.”

“Your begging would be much more effective without the slur and if you could stand up straight, it’d be a bonus.”

“I defended you.”

“I didn’t ask to be defended.”

“It’d drive him up a wall if you spent the night with me. He’d be so jealous,” Spike whispered, lowering hands to suggestively cup her ass and grind their hips together. “I reckon it’d be better than giving him an outbreak of boils, hell, it might even top leprosy.”

“So, it’d be about revenge?”

“Yeah, and a few itches will be scratched in the process.”

“I see.”

“Let’s go back to your place.”

Amused by his complete change in attitude, Buffy gave him just a light push instead of a shove. She laughed out loud when he started to fall backward and caught him before he could hit the ground for a second time. “Let’s go back to my place.”

“Now, we’re talking.”

“Yeah, but I doubt we’ll be talking long…” Buffy mumbled, practically holding him up as they headed to her house.

“Mom, you remember Spike, right?”

“Hello, Joyce.”


“He’s been dumped and now he needs coffee, or if you know any hangover remedies…” Leading Spike into the kitchen, she dumped him in a chair. “Mom can you help him while I get out of these clothes?”

“Buffy, are you okay? Have you been crying?”

“He’s not the only one who’s been dumped.”

“Should I make coffee for you too?”

“No, I’d rather have hot chocolate if you don’t mind.”

“So I'm strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she's making out with the chaos demon! And so I said, 'You know, I don't have to put up with this.' And she said, 'Fine!' So I said, 'Fine, do whatever you like!' I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know?”

Not quite in the kitchen, Buffy listened to Spike’s sob story for a second time.

“Well, she sounds very unreasonable.”

“She is. She's out of her mind. That's what I miss most about her.”

“Well, Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other, their lives just take different paths. When Buffy's father and I...”

“No, Joyce, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally,” Spike sighed. “You got any of those little marshmallows?”

“Well, let me look…”

“You sobering up?” Buffy asked, taking her mom’s empty seat. “Are you thinking more clearly now?”

“You mean do I still want to piss off your ex-honey?”

Nodding, Buffy avoided Spike’s eyes. “It’s not like I’m agreeing to it. It’s insane. I just wanted to know if you still had a screw loose.”

“Love your choice of words. Screw,” he chuckled, downing his hot chocolate. “You over him already? No more tears? Don’t you feel angry? Don’t you want him to pay?”

“I should’ve seen it coming… And tonight, I just wanted to do a couple-thing with my friends. You’d think I’d be used to being left out like that. Having a vamp as a boyfriend…I always feel left out. No one holds my hand at school. No one really believes that I have someone. It’s not like I can say, well, he’s doesn’t come to school because he’s totally old. He can’t be seen in the daylight because he’ll turn into a big pile of dust. God, half the student body thinks I’m strange enough without knowing those kind of factoids.”

“But now you can move on--.”

“Yes, she can.” Joyce returned, setting two mugs of fresh hot chocolate and a bag of marshmallows on the table. “I’m going back to bed, but be sure you tell Spike your test scores, Buffy. I’m sure Spike’ll be as proud of you as I am.” She gave Buffy’s shoulders a quick squeeze before heading out of the room. “Spike, will you be staying the night?”

Instead of answering, he looked to Buffy. “It’s your choice, pet.”

“He will,” she sighed.

“Want me to set up the couch?”

“No, you get your rest, mom. I’ll take care of Spike now.”

“Well, well, well, aren’t you a regular smarty pants?”

“Willow said I kicked ass. Academic ass, I guess. It’s new for me.”

“1430 on the SAT…aw, and mummy was so swollen with pride.”

“She wants me to move away. She wants me to go to college somewhere that isn’t on a hellmouth.”

“And what do you want?”


“Of course.”

“I have no idea. Parts of me want to take advantage of those scores; parts know that I’m the Chosen One with huge responsibilities and other parts…they want to be so far away from Angel right now. Did you know I was planning on him taking me to prom?”

“And now you’re dateless. My heart bleeds for you.”

“Shut up. When you were my age the prom didn’t even exist. If it did, you’d be more sympathetic. There’s nothing worse than wanting to go to a dance and not having an escort.”

“Here I thought you were mourning the loss of a lover. Poor Buffy doesn’t have a piece of meat on her arm. Boo-bloody-hoo.”

“I liked you better when you were tripping over your own feet.”

“I’m not even sobered up yet.”

“Maybe I should just kick you out of my house now.”

“Then I’d have no choice but to go after the witch.”

“Then I’d have no choice but to dust you.”

“Why do I have a feeling that we aren’t going to see eye-to-eye on this?”

“Because you aren’t a complete idiot.”

“You buttering me up?”

“I wasn’t exactly praising your intelligence. You’d be very, very dumb if you thought I’d let myself be put in a position where my choices are between putting my friend in danger and humiliating myself by sleeping with you. Angel watched you hold me. He saw you and he just walked away.”

“He didn’t just walk away, pet.” Looking from side-to-side, Spike leaned across the table to touch her wrist and whisper in her ear. “He’s outside.”

“He is not--.”

“Close your eyes.”

“No,” Buffy whispered back.

“Don’t be a baby. Close your eyes. Concentrate. Sense him.”

“Okay, he’s nearby, so what?”

“So…kiss me.”

“No,” she said weakly, finding him hard to resist as he nuzzled her cheek. He brushed his lips against her gently until she let out a frustrated groan. “Who are you and what have you done with Spike? Where’s the Spike that I hated?”

“Drank him away.”

“So, this version of you is only temporary?”

“I’m vulnerable. I’ve been dumped.”

“I’m vulnerable…I’ve been dumped…”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but what do you suppose two wronged parties equal?”


“Other than terrific rebound sex. That’s a given.”

Buffy paused, taking a moment to reevaluate her feelings and Spike’s proposed plan for vengeance. As she weighed the pros and cons, Spike continued to give her touches that left her baffled that such gentleness could come from her sworn enemy.



“Drusilla really did leave you because of me, didn’t she?”

“I told you--.”

“You didn’t tell me the whole truth. She left because…she said you went soft…”

“Why you sneak--.”

“She…her visions…God, do you have feelings for me?”

“Of course.” Moving away, he tried to hide his uneasiness with her revelation by snorting. “I have many feelings for you. I despise you. You’re the bloody thorn in my bloody side.”


“Change the subject. Now.”

“Back to what, you wanting to kiss me?”

“I do not want you to kiss me. I want to make him jealous,” Spike hissed. “Believe me, Slayer the thought of your lips on mine is enough to keep me up all night.”


“Shut up. I’ll tell you the same that I told her; I helped you because of her. I’m here because of her. She’s all I ever think about.”

Not believing him, Buffy stood and walked out of the kitchen.

“Hey, why are you leaving?”

“I’m walking you to the door.”

“But I thought…”

“You thought wrong,” she replied plainly, opening the front door. “You’re not telling me the truth. Drusilla would not just mack on a slime demon because you tried to save her life. There’s more to it and I don’t think it’s fair that you’re putting all the blame on everyone who isn’t you.”

“You have no fucking clue--.”

“No, I really don’t. I think you should leave.”

“Why this sudden skittishness?”

Ignoring his question, Buffy took a deep breath before placing a hand on his chest. “You want Drusilla? Go back there and be the man she loved. Weeping and crawling isn’t going to solve much if you don’t want to look soft. You guys have always been creepy and morbid; can’t you just torture her into liking you again?”

“I think I could do that.”

“Then go.” After a few seconds she rolled her eyes and gave in to her strange desire to kiss his mouth. The kiss lasted longer than she expected and from the moan Spike made when they broke apart, Buffy gathered that he enjoyed their locked lips as much as she did. “Now,” she panted, “say if things don’t work out…”


“Uh…” She forced herself to look away as he licked his lips, knowing that if she didn’t, she’d be kissing him again. “Maybe you could come back not-so-drunk and we’ll talk.”

“When’s that prom you were going on and on about?”

“In May.”

“Okay, May it is.”

“May what is?”

“Our date.”

“But Drusilla…”

“I’m not going to say what you want to hear, pet. We broke up because of you; that’s all I’m sharing right now…at this particular time. I’ll try the torturing bit; it’s a good idea.”

“But either way, you’re coming back?”

“Knowing my Dru, it’s a lost cause, but when you’ve been together as long as we have…”

“It doesn’t hurt to give it another chance.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll hurt.”

“So, you’re going to show up in May sobbing on another park bench?”

“I might skip the bench and do my sobbing on your porch steps. Give you a good chance to pick up the pieces.”

“Goodbye, Spike.” Chuckling, Buffy kissed Spike again and pushed him out the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

The End.

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