Closing the door quietly behind her she fought the urge to sink against it. What had started out as a very good relaxing evening had spiraled out of control. The fight with Angel left her with a sense of foreboding and the thought of still having to deal with Spike, as drunk as he was, didn't fill her with glee either. Not to mention the expectant look on her mother's face.
She could see her mother was beginning to get that look in her eyes. The one that was going to demand answers and not let the subject go.
"Mom I know you have a lot of questions but it's getting really late and I need to go get Xander and Willow from wherever Spike took them to. Can it wait until tomorrow?"
She could see no change in her mother's expression and knew that she wasn't going to buy it. It didn't stop her from praying it would however.
"Times wastin' Slayer little witch and the whelp ain't gonna rescue themselves." His words were a little less slurred but his eyes were still heavy lidded and he wasn't really focused on anything in the room.
With Spike's words though her mom seemed to stop and consider the situation. Buffy could almost see the wheels turning in her mind as she weighed her choices.
"Fine we'll talk about all of this tomorrow. I'm not happy about what this means though Buffy."
She didn't even try to pretend that she didn't know what her mom was talking about. The secret of Angel's return had once again bitten her in the ass.
"I understand Mom."
The words sounded defeated even to her own ears as she watched her mother go through the motions of saying goodbye to Spike before she made her way out of the room.
Buffy let out the sigh that had been building inside since she had come home.
Spike blinked lazily before taking a look at the rest of the room. It had been silent for longer then normal and he wasn't quite sure what exactly was going on. Oh he had a rough idea. The ponce showing up and the fact that the Slayer's mum was unhappy at his arrival. He also didn't miss the lack of love in the Slayer's greeting for the hair gelled bastard either. Things weren't all hearts and roses for the super couple it seemed. Still though he had to wonder why he was still not dusty standing in the Slayer's kitchen.
When his eyes didn't encounter another form besides the Slayer herself he gave her a small smirk. Well it would have been a smirk if he had the fine muscle control that would require.
"So 's just the two of us heh pet?"
She gave him her patented eye roll which of course he missed being his drunk self. Letting a little huff of air out at his behavior she moved closer and sat on the stool across from him.
"All right tell me what's going on with you now Spike."
"Not much to tell Slayer, just need your little witch friend to do a spell for me then I'll be out of your hair."
He was proud of himself for getting the sentence out completely and on the first try. Right now his tongue felt numb not to mention the fact that he couldn't feel his lips at all. He was however feeling a little bit better then he had at the start of his week when he had begun his drive up from South America.
It wasn't that he'd forgotten any of his heartache. No the alcohol couldn't do that but his body was numb enough now that the pain felt disconnected from the rest of him. Besides he had cried enough bloody tears on the drive up that he was feeling just the slightest bit empty anyway. The hollowness inside of him didn't lend itself to feeling any deep emotions.
"Spike what kind of spell were you going to have Willow do?" She spoke slowly and made sure to enunciate every syllable just to be sure he would understand her.
"Doesn't much matter does it pet? Just need a little moment of her time for the mojo and both her and the boy will be safely returned to you."
"Spike."
At his questioning glance she gave him a small supportive smile.
"Spike tell me what's wrong it's just the two of us here okay?" Normally she wouldn't be trying to cajole his plans out of him but his current drunken state made the use of threats seem just plain wrong. Plus the pain she could see shimmering in the blue depths of his eyes made her a little more willing to go easy on him.
She wasn't forgetting the threats they had made to one another and while she was certain she did hate her mortal enemy there was no reason for her to immediately jump into the death threats. Besides they were starting to get old. Even she was tired of hearing them.
If he thought the soft words spoken by the Slayer were out of character he gave no hint of it as he looked glassy eyed at her.
"It's Dru you see."
She didn't of course. Dru was a subject that still bothered her.
Not for the reasons she wanted her too. Of course not. No the thought of Drusilla had always plagued her in relation to Angel and sadly the way she had treated Spike.
They'd never spoken of it but she had witnessed his love for her and the pain the crazy vampiress had driven him to while he was under her care. Care she shouldn't have had to provide in the first place. Inside she knew that what bothered her the most about his Sire was that she had abandoned a man that had truly loved and worshiped her and went to another in his place.
Buffy was certain that the council and even Giles believed that vampires couldn't feel. In fact she agreed mostly with its teachings. But she had seen the way Spike had feared for Dru's safety when she had held her at stake point and been witness to too much of his pain for her to think he didn't care.
"What about Dru, Spike?" She questioned him gently placing a hand on his arm in a supportive gesture that surprised her.
He felt her hand on his arm and looked down at it for a second before looking up into her green eyes once more. In them he could clearly see the compassion that no one had granted him in his entire life except for his mum. There was no censure in her gaze only a warmth he was long pressed to ignore.
He knew how wrong it was to feel this way. His insides warming gently that a woman so full of light as the Slayer was could take the time to bestow a little of her caring on a vampire. Even one as helpless and drunk as he was.
There was no stopping the few tears that leaked from his eyes as he thought about this kindness from his mortal enemy and the hurt and pain caused by the woman he so dearly loved.
"She left me Slayer. Said I went soft and then went around sharing herself with any disgusting thing that crossed her path." He shook his head in bewilderment of what had gone wrong between them. "Said that I tasted like ashes. I tried to tell her that I did it all for her that our truce didn't really mean anything but she wouldn't hear it."
Buffy took in the defeated countenance of her most confusing enemy to date. True they had nothing but death threats between them but she was sure this pain was too much for anyone to bear. She'd found herself tortured enough by Angel's infidelity but it had to be killing the master vampire in front of her. There was a hundred years of love between them and one didn't get over heartbreak like that easily.
"So you wanted to do a spell for what exactly?"
"I just want her back Slayer. I want things back the way they used to be before we came here. We were happy together."
Buffy shook her head in amazement.
"Are you saying that you want to do a love spell on Drusilla?" The disbelief in her voice must have showed because suddenly his eyes hardened a bit.
"That's exactly what I'm saying." He nodded his head again as if to confirm things for her.
She let out a soft sigh. She could understand the desperation Spike was feeling about losing Dru. But even she knew things like this couldn't be fixed by magic. Not really. Still it was what he wanted and in the long run the only people it was going to hurt were him and his loony Sire.
"What do you need Spike?"
His eyes nearly lit up when he grasped the meaning of her words.
"You gonna help me Slayer? Really?" He couldn't keep out the excited tone of his voice.
"I'll help you on the condition that once we're done you let my friends go unharmed. And you leave town again and this time you don't come back."
Spike had forgotten that he had her little friends held against their will. Well he realized he had access to the witch of course but he'd forgotten that the Slayer would want to get them released.
He was a little disappointed at the news. He had thought she had really wanted to help him.
She watched the look in his eyes fade a bit and wondered what could be bothering him now. It wasn't like he wasn't going to get what he wanted. And still be undusty. Usually kidnapping her friends was a one way ticket to dustville for any and all without question.
He was getting off more than a little lightly.
Ignoring the look for now she took her hand back off of his arm and waited for his response.
Strangely the disappointment he was already feeling flared when her hand left his arm. Looking back up at her he nodded his head in agreement of her terms.
"Witch said she left a book of spells here that she needs and then we need ingredients from the magic shop."
"Well I wasn't lying when I said it was getting late. The faster we get the stuff we need the faster I can get those guys home." She got up off the stool and went to get the book from her room.
The trip only took a moment and she was unsurprised to find Spike waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs although he was much more steady on his feet now. She wasn't convinced that he was totally sober as of yet but he was better then before.
They were silent as they made their way down the street. Buffy let her thoughts drift about the enigmatic vampire by her side. This was the second time they had teamed up for a common goal and walked across the town together. He was walking his shoulders slumped a bit his head bent as they moved across the dark streets.
Spike was trying not to think at all. He was starting to sober up and with that his feelings were starting to feel more real more like a part of himself. It wasn't something that he wanted to happen. Thankfully the Slayer hadn't said anything which made dealing with her that much more pleasant. Not that she had been hard to be around this time but he was well aware just how acidic her tongue could be. And just how prone he was to provoking her into a reaction. But for now they walked silently with just the sound of their footsteps echoing around them.
He took no notice of his surroundings for the most part just enough for him not to walk into the occasional mailbox or light post. Concentrating instead on the noise of their booted feet as they struck the pavement. He looked up only when the cement around them turned to grass.
They were cutting through the park using the shortcut to get downtown bypassing the cemetery route. Buffy didn't want to deal with the added distraction of whatever creepy crawlies were hanging out there until she was done dealing with this particular night crawler.
Spike lifted his head enough to take in the landscape around him when his eyes suddenly caught and held on a particular object. He felt the traitorous tears prick his eyes once more and he couldn't contain the groan that left his lips.
Buffy heard his sound of distress and couldn't help glancing at him sharply trying to place its cause. She stopped beside him trying hard not to care about the look of pain on his face.
"What is it?" She asked him with a subdued voice startled to note the amount of concern there. Dammit she was trying to hide that.
"Oh God." The words left his lips with a bit of a choked sob before he was able to control it.
"Spike?" This time she stepped forward and once again placed a tentative hand on his arm just to draw his attention to her.
"Dru and I killed a homeless guy on this bench."
And right then all softer feelings she had felt flew out the window. Not for the mention of Dru of course but simply the reminder of what he did nightly. She took her hand back off his arm and shook her head not able to believe how easily she could just simply forget. Not in the long term of course. No her memory was not that faulty but there were little moments when the demon in front of her was just so human that she could and did forget for short periods of time just what he was capable of.
He had continued talking while she had fought through her reactions to his words. Something she obviously didn't need or want to hear. Instead she let her now cold eyes fall on him.
"Guess you had to be there." It was the only reply she could give when she hadn't heard the story not that she wanted to.
But now he seemed to notice that she had distanced herself from him.
The clipped voice of the Slayer was in such a direct contrast to the way she had said his name earlier that he had to look up at her. Green eyes that had been warm only moments before were now hard and flinty. He was confused at the change. The whole evening her eyes hadn't been that hard.
In his drunken state the curiosity was too much and he was just about to ask her what the deal was when they were interrupted.
"Well isn't this cozy?" At his voice Buffy couldn't help but roll her eyes.
Spike couldn't help the involuntary stiffening of all his muscles even if the look of boredom was the only thing that crossed his face. There was of course no real reason to pretend that he wasn't thoroughly irritated at his grandsire's presence. After all their hatred went both ways. What really interested him was the way the Slayer responded to her once great love.
The hard flinty edge to her eyes was only accentuated when she narrowed them in aggravation.
"I thought you went home." Like I told you to was still implied by her tone.
He didn't answer her but his dark eyes held a mocking look.
"So Peaches what brings you out this time of night run out of hair gel again?" He was bound and determined not to let thoughts of Drusilla make him look weak in front of the giant pecker. The Slayer was at least a compassionate person he had no illusions of Angelus being such with or without soul.
Angel just ignored Spike and instead turned to Buffy.
"Why haven't you staked him yet?" The demand in his voice made her stifle the scream of annoyance she could feel in her chest.
"We aren't talking about that again Angel. I told you that I would handle Spike. Why don't you just go home?"
"Yeah you're doing such a great job too. I don't think I should go home maybe I'll just stick around a bit."
She rolled her eyes at his high handed manner. A tone she recognized well now that the blinders of young love had been torn from her eyes. And she wasn't going to take it period.
"No Angel you aren't. You're gonna turn right around and head back to the mansion. I don't take orders Angel not from you." She snorted in disgust at him. "I'm not a helpless child that needs your supervision so stop acting like I am."
Every word that left her mouth was dripping with scorn. It wasn't the first time they'd had to have this discussion but it seemed that after only a short time he would forget again that she was her own woman regardless of her age. So at times like this she didn't hold back anymore. She wasn't worried about hurting his feelings she knew deep down inside of him was the demon that couldn't feel in the first place. The most important thing was the damage she did to his ego. That seemed to make him angrier than anything.
"Yeah well you're making a hell of a mistake trusting him. He's a killer Buffy one you should have put down last year instead of saving. Do you think that the people he's killed in the last few months appreciate how hard you worked to get him walking again? Making their killer that much more lethal? Do you Buffy?"
This time Angel had taken a threatening step towards her and she bit back the urge just to rush him with Mr. Pointy clutched tightly in her right hand. Instead she fisted her hands at her side and thinned her lips to keep from screaming at him.
Spike just blinked.
What the hell was going on around him? The world was definitely tilted a little off kilter if he could believe the display in front of him and not just because of the alcohol in his system. He'd had a hard enough time believing the fact that not only had the Slayer tried to send the pompous git away but had declared her own independence quite clearly.
"Not another word Angel." This time she took her own threatening step towards him ignoring the for once silent vampire on the bench.
"Does it bother you to hear the truth Buffy?" They were only a few feet apart now close enough for her to see the flecks of amber in his brown eyes.
Spike stared blinking slowly at the two supernatural beings in front of him. He could almost feel the crackle of energy in the air as their anger began to simmer towards violence and where normally such a show would be a delight this night he didn't have the luxury of time to waste on his grandsire.
"The girl said to bugger off you twit. Why don't you just scamper and brood in peace?"
Angel's snarl of anger was ignored by both Slayer and vampire. Each already tired of his posturing.
"I'm not going to let you make this mistake again Buffy. You have a duty, a calling so do it!"
This time Buffy saw red. There was no way she could contain the rage she was feeling in that second. She stalked over to the towering figure and glared up into his eyes.
"You mean like I did with you." Her voice was more deadly for the calm in the ice cold delivery. "Don't think that I will shirk my duty not even for you Angel. In this situation I am the Slayer, not the council, not my Watcher and certainly not you vampire. Don't think that you can even come close to understanding my calling. The powers chose me for a reason and I will not waste time explaining my self to you. Is that clear?"
Spike blinked hard at the deadliness of the Slayer in front of him. It was like a switch had been thrown and he had never seen her more dangerous than she was right then. Something about this moment was so different almost like the girl he knew the Slayer to be had disappeared completely.
Suddenly he wondered if he'd been playing with his unlife more then he realized. What if she had been holding back with him this whole time. The power that was rolling off of her was so thick he could almost taste it.
Angel softened his stance in response to not only her words but her very threatening posture.
"Buffy." The way he said her name was half plea and half whine.
It was enough however for the tense moment to pass.
"Angel could you please just trust that I know what I'm doing okay?" She laid her hand softly on his arm.
Spike saw the tender gesture between them and was shocked at the growl he felt growing in his chest. He quickly kept it from escaping his eyes widening in surprise and confusion.
"I really don't like this Buffy."
Her mouth quirked up in a small smile as she looked into his brown eyes.
"I know."
"You need me you know where I'll be." Without waiting for her to finish nodding he turned and walked back into the shadows.
"What a prat." Buffy focused her eyes once more on the smirking blond sitting on the bench his melancholy forgotten if only for the moment.
Spike snorted in disbelief at the image his erstwhile Sire cut as he strode off into the night. He couldn't believe the gall of the over grown pillock. What really bugged him though was how he questioned the Slayer. Really wasn't she the chosen one? The dimwit acted like he was so special just because he went and got cursed with a soul not once but twice.
Buffy just knew that she was crossing boundaries that should never even be approached while she helped Spike. Knew but was helpless to stop.
"Well that was fun." Buffy rolled her shoulders hoping to get rid of some of the tension that had settled in her muscles. "So are you done reminiscing because I'd like to get this over with. Some of us have class in the morning."
His nostalgia forgotten Spike got to his feet a little steadier than he had before. The scene he had just witnessed had left him confused. There were certain things in the universe that were guaranteed the sky is blue the earth turns on its axis and the Slayer loved the poof. Only now, now that didn't seem so certain.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Yes I know it's been a long time. Please forgive me but after the holidays I just seem to have this problem focusing and really if I can't stay focused to write more then one sentence at a time well let's just say it takes a heck of a time to get out a chapter. But now at least yeah it's done hopefully things will get a little easier I really know where I'm going with this one so for all of those out there who are still hanging on please don't give up we are getting there. Thank you to everyone who continues to read and review.