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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi all no your eyes are not decieving you I have finally updated. Yes it is a miracle. Hopefully this extremely long pause will not happen again. TTFN and thanks for reading!
Morning light caused Buffy to rub her tired eyes but it was the sound of the chirping birds that convinced her to open them.

Taking in her surroundings she had to let out the extremely sad sigh that built in her chest. Memories from the night before clamored for attention in her tired mind. She didn't move and held her breath before letting them play out before her eyes.

The party had been a bust. It wasn't that it changed from when she left it but she had. Dealing with Harmony and then Spike put the thought of trying to enjoy herself right out of her skull. Thankfully Parker had been understanding when she said she wanted to leave. And when he offered her someplace quiet to talk she gladly accepted.

When he chose his room for them to talk in she didn't think anything of it. After all where else were they going to go and have some privacy.

When he kissed her she couldn't help but think that it was very nice. Not as thrilling as kissing Angel had been but he was a decent kisser.

Naturally kissing led to french kissing which led to a bit of light petting. She didn't really mind that either. He wasn't being pushy and it was nice kind of just letting herself feel like she was connecting with someone else.

When he started to remove her shirt....

Well that's when things started to go wrong.

She knew that it wasn't enough. He wasn't what she had been looking for and truthfully she had known that all along. Just because she was hoping things would be okay didn't make it happen.

It just didn't feel right.

He was shocked when she pulled away from him before he could get it off. But it wasn't until she started to explain why that he got the hint.

Now even though she was still a virgin it wasn't like she didn't know the first thing about sex. Or how men reacted to it. Quite the contrary. Before she was called she'd been plenty sought after by boys and her friends had a bit of experience that they shared with her. So she knew to tread carefully. To let him down easy.

It took awhile but he finally seemed to realize that what he wanted wasn't going to be happening. And although he seemed very disappointed he did agree to call her in the morning.

Now she was lying awake thinking about not only her disastrous date but Spike's visit as well. There was something going on with the bleached menace and she was sure that it involved that gem Harmony had mentioned before running away. Spike's reaction to it made that definite.

She needed to know what the thing did and for that she needed to ask someone with answers.

**************



Okay so finding out the truth about what Spike had in mind was not fun. Nor was it something she would have expected the previously in your face vampire to try.

She listened patiently to the others' concern about his plans and she even remembered everything Giles had spouted about the gem's special qualities. But what she was really doing while she was sitting in her watcher's apartment was playing every encounter she ever had with Spike in her head.

Somewhere in all their dealings she had forgotten that he was a ruthless killer. Not that he was a killer no she always remembered that fact. And after their little rendezvous in the magic shop how could she ever deny it? No that he killed she never forgot.

What she seemed to have failed to remember was that he was not noble. It didn't matter that they had had an understanding before. His final goal was to kill her and he was going to use any method necessary to guarantee his success. The use of the gem of Amara cemented that fact in her mind.

Before she had believed that he was looking for a fair fight. And maybe he had been in the beginning.

But maybe after all the draws and close calls they had he decided that it wasn't worth the trouble. He wanted her dead period and it didn't matter how.

His hiring of the Order of Takara was her hint that things had changed. The problem was they hadn't really tried killing each other since she had saved him in the first place. They had threatened sure but there had been no fight.

Now it seemed that the fragile standoff they had maintained had come to an end and he was looking to destroy her quickly.

She was surprised to find herself disappointed with the thought.

Letting out a sigh she tried to steer her thoughts in a different direction. Parker had not called yet. True they had not agreed when he would call but her phone remained silent as did her answering machine. Buffy was trying not to obsess about that fact too much but since it was the only thing that could distract her from her thoughts about a certain vampire she wasn't having much luck.

Walking through the common area of campus she tried to enjoy that it was a warm sunny day. She glanced around her taking in the many students bustling too and fro to class and the others taking advantage of the weather and sitting in the grass. It was nice to be among them and have a sense of normality even if it was just brief.

She probably would have enjoyed it more if she hadn't just spotted a very familiar looking face being sucked on by someone she didn't recognize.

Walking quickly to the bench she stopped in front of them before clearing her throat.

********************

Spike froze at the sight in front of him. For the unlife of him he couldn't move and for once his breathing just stopped.

He even forgot the passing of time and just stared.

The way the cavern shimmered with reflected light made him want to gasp. Hues of gold played through sparkling gems providing a riot of color he had not witnessed since his long past human days.

Over the years he had seen a lot of wealth come and go in his own hands. This this was something entirely different.

Finally he blinked and began to move his chest rising and falling as if it had never stopped.

A delighted glee filled his being and he smiled large and wide in genuine pleasure.

This was all his. It didn't matter if someone else had helped him in the beginning as he had been correct the night before. Once the minions knew that Harmony wasn't coming back they had all slipped away. So he finished digging.

When he broke through the cavern he couldn't stop staring. Here he had not only succeeded in finding the Amara treasure he also had kept his plan from the Slayer and now he just had to find the gem before he could continue his plan.

Unlife was damn good.

*****************

It took a second clearing of her throat before he turned his eyes towards her. A brief span of time really but long enough that anger started to boil up from her gut.

"Oh hey Buffy. Katie this is Buffy, Buffy, Katie."

For some reason she found herself nodding politely to the other girl.

"I really can't talk to you right now Buffy, I'm kind of busy." The way he looked into the other girl's eyes left no doubt in Buffy's mind what he was busy doing. Or what he was hoping to be doing.

She didn't know why the thought angered her so much. It wasn't like she was emotionally attached to Parker quite the contrary. Admittedly she did like him but not so much that any deep feelings were beginning. Which would explain why she had backed off when he had tried to become intimate with her.

Still after telling her everything was fine last night and that he would call, seeing him with another girl was just salt in a wound. It wasn't that she thought he was all that, he had been just a cute seemingly sweet guy she thought she could have something physical with.

"Parker. I thought you were goanna call this morning?" She was proud that the question just sounded curious and not hurt.

"Yeah about that. Look Buffy you're a sweet girl and all but well I am just a guy." He shrugged at her.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I have needs Buffy and if you aren't willing to fill them then I've got to look elsewhere don't I?"

It was too much, she couldn't stop her eye roll, or the words that came out of her mouth.

"After a week? Are you serious?"

"Hey what can I say you were just taking too much work. I'd rather spend the time when I know a girl knows what she wants."

"After a week. Right so now your telling me you only bother with the easy girls."

"Hey!" The noise came from the formerly quiet Katie and Buffy had to gesture up and down indicating Parker.

He must have realized what he said because he immediately adopted a kicked puppy expression.

"Come on Katie are you going to listen to some sad little freshmen? I thought we meant more then that?"

"After a couple of hours?" Katie gave him her own eye roll. "I'm so out of here."

Buffy had to admire the way she never looked back at the jerk as she headed out of the commons.

"Damn it Buffy why'd you have to be such a bitch about it. You damned underclassmen are all the same. I should have known better to get involved with one of you. So innocent you all still have a stick up your ass when it comes to sex. If you ask me you should take it out and put it somewhere where it would be of more use. Maybe then you wouldn't be so frigid or bitchy."

In the arena of things that had been said to her the words were sorely lacking in causing her any pain. But they were a bit shocking which was why she just watched the idiot stomp away without saying anything in return. Plus it didn't matter anyway she was through with the bastard.

"Well that was pathetic even for you."

Buffy turned to see the bane of her existence standing with a smug expression on his face in bright sunlight.

***************

Spike was having a hard time focusing on what the twerp was saying to the Slayer through his glee. He was outside in broad day light wearing a gem that made him impossible to kill and there was his prey just a few yards off. He had wanted to surprise her but this well this was just perfect.

He could here the boy complaining about her and the words finally sank in.

Calling her frigid could only mean one thing. The little bitch had actually done it. Sold her innocence to some dorky kid that couldn't tell his dick from a hole in the wall.

And he didn't know why but Spike felt disappointed.

Somewhere in his mind he had believed her better than that. Not that she wasn't just a human girl but somehow her Slayerness led him to believe that she was above all these baser things. Which of course he knew was ridiculous. The only reason she had never slept with his Grandsire after all was that he had cheated on her.

And he didn't know why he was thinking about this now. What the hell did it matter any way? She was just going to be dead.

But rubbing it in was something he couldn't stop from doing.

"That was pathetic even for you."

The shock he read in her eyes was delicious. Only there was also a look of regret and disappointment he saw there. Something that his gut said had nothing to do with the boy that just left and everything to do with him.

"So found your gem did you."

There was no question in her voice just a bland statement of fact. And that pissed him off he wanted the damn thing to be a surprise but like he had thought apparently her watcher had filled her in.

Buffy didn't need to see the look in his eyes to know that he was put out about her knowing his little trick. He should know better by now though, how many times had info from Giles foiled his latest plan? Silly vampire.

And here it was the day she had been dreading since she had watched him walk out of her kitchen door almost two years ago. He was finally here to try to kill her of this she was certain.

Every good thing she remembered about the vampire was now in jeopardy. This took every truce they'd shared and every compassionate thing she'd ever done for him and ground them into nothing. And even though she had known deep down inside that this day would happen she still felt incredibly sad that it would end here and now.

And end it would. She was going to have to kill him for sure.

Such a pity that she had spent all this time trying to save him only to kill him with her own hands.

Spike watched the flash of sadness streak through her eyes and knew she was thinking about him. Knew and didn't like the pity she was showing. Didn't like the way her disapproval played on his nonexistent conscience.

Pissed him off matter of fact.

So throwing the first punch wasn't that hard. Well it was a hard punch but it didn't bother him in the least.

She rocked back with the force of his right to her face and felt herself start to shut down. Her mind quieted about who she was facing and focused on her need to stay alive. With him having that stupid gem she was going to have to keep on her toes.

So instead of seeing the smirk on his face or the glimmer in his eyes she focused on the next block where her next punch would land where her next kick would go.

It was exhausting really she knew that if she miscalculated and got to close or to confident he would end her quickly. They had fought often enough before for her to know his style but not enough to know if he had ever fully let himself fight her. In the past they had always been interrupted. Their fights had been dirty ruthless and quick. Something always had gotten in the way.

Spike was grinning from ear to ear. The fight itself was glorious she was hitting all out and he had to focus. She was giving him everything she had and it was marvelous.

He didn't know how they managed to cover as much distance as they had but he could hear the race of her heart even with the thud of fist striking flesh echoing around them.

The sound was music to his ears.

She was getting tired.

Buffy fought not only the damned vampire but her own bodies responses. They had been going at it quite awhile and usually she would be doing fine but the emotional upheaval of the night before between her apprehension about Spike and the thing with Parker she hadn't gotten much rest. Add to that the her full school day the latest talk with Giles and she knew her stamina was not where it needed to be. She needed to end this and end it quickly.

Letting out a low chuckle he looked the now flushed Slayer over.

"So you let that wanker have a poke did you?"

It was a good thing that he wasn't expecting an answer because she was not only busy trying to stay out of his reach but was having difficulty translating his Spike speak.

"Couldn't have offered him much of ride if he wasn't willing to jump back on for free."

That statement let him land a solid punch to her face. In fact she had to blink to refocus back on the fight it was so far out in left field.

Now she hadn't thought he had heard all of their conversation but for him to get it totally wrong flabbergasted her. She wasn't sure if she should laugh and correct him or punch him harder. Maybe even a kick to the balls was in order.

Apparently he thought her silence signaled agreement because he just kept talking.

" 'Course someone told me once that you were pretty much a cold fish. Who was that now? Ahh yeah good ol' Angelus. Heard he took a runner on you too. Can't seem to keep them very interested."

And with those words a calm seemed to filter through Buffy's rage. The reaction the asshole was looking for was driven away by the fact that she knew without any doubt that she was not to blame for Angel's infidelity. It may have taken her two years to realize it but she knew deep down that there was nothing she could have or would have done differently.

Angelus' appearance would probably have happened with a far different set of circumstances.

It was true that given the heading they were on that she would have given herself to him eventually and there would have been no telling how horrible the loss of his soul would have been to her.

So Spike's words didn't set her into the rage he was probably counting on the kind where she would attack him recklessly leaving herself open and vulnerable. Instead she was just angry seething with the colder version of the emotion.

Cold enough for her to back up two steps from her drop her fighting stance and look him in the eye.

"Hello pot. Didn't your girlfriend of a century leave you after fucking someone else? Don't you think you might be the reason she was looking elsewhere?" She could see the rage flicker hotly in his eyes. "I mean shouldn't you be the last person to be talking about performance?"

It was almost like flipping a switch. The anger which froze inside of her and made her lash out in words in him burned like the hottest forest fire. His eyes bled over to the gold of his demon and he charged her.

Spike couldn't even process what the little bitch said before he tore after her. He saw everything drenched in red and not the pleasant variety that came with slitting her throat. Instead he found himself moving on instinct only knowing that he had to kill her.

Buffy had waited and now it was going to pay off. He had hoped to drag the fight out and let her tire out before making a fatal mistake. But she saw through his plan. Now she used it against him drawing him into a mindless rage that left him open and sloppy where before he was control and precision.

And damn if it wasn't working a little too well. His rage made him a bit stronger and a little faster so she worked harder to keep ahead of him. There was one small difference though. Now more of her hits were landing and more of her blocks were working. She got past his defenses easier each time.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that he needed to regroup and regain control. Unfortunately the forefront of said mind was just shouting kill her and kill her now. He couldn't do it. Get the rage rebottled inside. The bint had struck an obvious nerve one that was still fresh and hadn't even begun to heal.

When she had finally landed two successive punches to his face and held his outstretched arm in her grasp he came crashing back into reality. The worn down fighter he had been hoping to face had never appeared. In her place was the fierce warrior before him.

Respect fought once again with his hate and he looked her in the eyes.

She stared back for what felt like an eternity, a time that she realized once again that he was going to live another day. Why couldn't she do it? Kill this one vampire that led to so much chaos in her life? What was it about him that she recognized but couldn't acknowledge in her conscious thoughts?

And she was disappointed with him and herself. She expected better from the both of them and yet felt helpless to follow the same script they were on. Every fiber in her being screamed not to do the one thing that was supposed to be like breathing for her. Here she was Buffy the Vampire Slayer and she was unable to slay the vampire she held in her grasp.

Her eyes finally left his and scanned the area around them quickly looking for the closest escape route for him.

She swung him around so that he was looking at the sidewalk where the manhole she had spotted was. Her fingers began to tug at the ring on his finger.

"Slayer you pull that off and we'll both burn." He growled at her knowing that he had once again lost to this little hellcat. And he hoped she killed him quickly because he was damned if he could face the humiliation again.

"No Spike we won't." Her voice was a tired sigh. "Once I get this thing off you need to run to that manhole over there got it?"

He turned his head and stared but this time she didn't meet his eyes and her expression was guarded.

"What?"

"Get out of town Spike and don't come back." When she said the last syllable she yanked hard and the ring came off in her hand.

He was running as soon as the ring was freed already starting to sizzle in the light.

"This isn't the end Slayer!" He yelled at her as he slipped in to the dark sewer safe from the sun.

"No it never is with you Spike." She responded quietly before turning to leave.





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