This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. ~Oscar Wilde


Things were settled, that was really the only way to describe it. Buffy and Spike settled into a pattern over the next few days that consisted of making love in the morning, spending the day out and about, going out to dinner and then making love nearly all night. It was a routine they doubted they’d ever get tired of.

Time was winding down and it was winding down much too fast for Spike’s liking. In two short days, Buffy would be returning to Boston and the question loomed over them like a cloud whether or not she’d return. It made his heart constrict to think of her leaving and not coming back for some time. The closer her departure day got, the worse his moods became. He was on edge, and trying to act normal. He was failing miserably at it.

“I can’t take it anymore,” he blurted out one day as they made dinner together. He was chopping vegetables and she was throwing them in the salad.

“What? You want me to chop the veggies?” she asked.

He shook his head and dropped the knife. “No, Buffy, I can’t take this not knowing. You’re leaving in two days and I’m going bloody mad here.”

She stared at him. “I was actually going to talk with you about that.”

“When?” he asked incredulously.

“Over dinner.”

“Well, I want to talk about it now. Blast dinner. Buffy, have you decided? What are you going to do?”

“I have to go back—“

He threw his hands up and started pacing. “Do you have any idea how bloody crazy you’re making me? Buffy, please luv, stay with me, please—“

“Can I finish?”

He stopped.

She took a deep breath. “I have to go back to get things in order with my apartment and work. I don’t know how long things like that take—“

“If you let me and Randy help, no time at all.”

Spike. Please.”

He held up his hands. “Fine. Continue.”

“I spoke with my boss today. She is looking into getting me a transfer here. She doesn’t think it’d be a problem—“

When did you talk with her?” Spike demanded.

“This morning. I left a message with her a couple days ago and she wasn’t able to get in touch with me until this morning. You were in the shower.”

“Oh.”

“And I spoke with my landlord, and Willow this morning as well. You ever realize you take long ass showers?”

He grinned.

“Willow has wanted my apartment since I moved in. She’s interested in leasing it. Me, my landlord and Willow just need to get together and bang out the details.”

“So then no time at all?”

“I still need a place to live here—“

“What are you on about? You live here.”

She blinked. “With you?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Remember those huge steps we were talking about?”

“Buffy, it’s ridiculous of you to move out here only to live somewhere else. You come out here to live, you come to live with me.”

She sighed heavily. “Spike?”

“Yeah, luv?”

She looked up at him, with fear in her eyes. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

Immediately, he swallowed her in his arms. “Of what, baby?” he nearly cooed.

“Of leaving, of not leaving. Of leaving Boston. I’m scared, Spike. What if it all blows up in my face? What if you do get bored of me? What if--“

“Ssshh,” and he pressed a finger to her mouth. “You have nothing to be afraid of. We’re in this together, remember?”

“I can’t help it. I’ve lived on the east coast for most of my natural life. This is a huge step for me and suddenly it’s all happening so fast...” she pulled out of his arms and this time, she started to pace. “You were in the shower and I was laying there, thinking ‘I can’t leave him. I just can’t do it.’ Thinking of going after being with you these past two weeks fills me with dread. And not because of the cheating thing—“

“Buffy—“

“Let me finish. Not because of the straying thing, but because …I love you and the idea of us being on opposite sides of the country is so…scary and lonely to me. I feel like I just got you and then to have to go away and not know when or how…so when my boss called me back this morning, I had no choice but to charge ahead and ask her to help me out. Then I had to call Willow and my landlord…and now, now I’m frightened.”

“Don’t be.”

She paused in her pacing. “Those are your words of wisdom? Don’t be scared? That’s …so lame, Spike!”

“Come here,” he said, and took her hand, leading her to the table. Sitting down, he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder and lacing his fingers through hers. “Listen to me. I know it’s a big step for you. It is for me too. The alternative though, is much scarier to me than staying. Who knows when you can come back, and let’s face it, you get so swamped with work, you know that could be months from now. It’s not going to be easy, I know that. It’s going to be an adjustment for both of us, but Buffy, I’m willing to fight for this. For the first time in my life, I’m willing to fight tooth and nail to stay with a woman. And do you know why?”

“Why?” she whispered.

“Because I love you more than life itself and I’m willing to work on this and see it through. Remember all those fantasies I said I had with us having a family?”

She nodded.

“You staying tells me you want it too, and that those aren’t just fantasies, but real possibilities. I love you so much, Buffy. God, I can’t even…” he broke off, emotion choking him up.

Adjusting herself, Buffy straddled him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “I know,” she whispered. “That feeling is why I can’t not try it. I’m just scared.”

“I know you are. And I’m going to make it as easy as I can for you. Look, you’ve got Sam already, and Fred. Wesley was just telling me that he’d like for all of us to get together. You’ll have a job here, and just think – no Riley Finn to compete with.”

“I like competing with him though. It’s that sick and sadistic side of me that likes to compete and get riled up.”

Spike chuckled, “Okay then, there will be another Riley Finn for you to compete with.”

She smiled against his neck.

“It’s going to be a transition for the both us, and I know mostly for you, but I’m here Buffy and I won’t let you go through this alone. We’ll do it the way we’ve done everything so far—together. I’m proud of you, you know?”

She pulled back a bit to look at him, “Why? How?”

“Because I didn’t think you’d do it. Well, I thought I’d at least have to spend a year or two trying to convince you.”

She laughed, “A year or two? Am I that stubborn?”

“Most definitely. And this . . . you did it all on your own.” He gazed up at her in awe. “You really love me.”

“Yes, Sally Field, I do.”

“That’s it,” he growled and tickled her mercilessly until she was squirming and squealing in his arms. And then, when she was near breathless from laughing, he pulled her close and kissed her hungrily. “Want you now.”

“Mmm,” she murmured in agreement and reached between them to undo his pants. It was positively amazing how insatiable and constantly ready they always were for each other.

Shoving her skirt up and her panties aside, Spike slid a finger inside her and pumped her with his fingers, his thumb making a tattoo on her clit. When she had him free of his constraints, he slid his finger out and she slammed down on him.

Their eyes locked and they shared a moan before she started riding him slowing, taking him in easily and then gliding back up.

The long, deliberate strokes had Spike going mad, wanting to slam into her with the force of his passion. As if she felt it coming off him in waves, she started moving faster, squeezing him with her pussy muscles and kissing him passionately.

“That’s my girl,” he muttered against her lips. “Ride me, Buffy. Ride me hard.”

“Mmm…yes,” she hissed. “You like it when I ride you?”

“Oh yes, love seeing you bounce up and down on my hard cock. You love feeling my cock up inside you so deep?”

“Fuck, yes,” she panted and reached to the hem of her shirt and whipped off her shirt.

Growling, Spike nearly tore her bra off and suckled at her breasts, pushing them together and teasing her nipples with his tongue. Digging her fingers in his hair, she flung her head back and rode him even faster.

“Do it, Buffy. Ride me hard. Do it… Cum for me…” Spike said breathlessly, reaching between them and rubbing her clit in circles.

Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she gasped, “Spike!” and came all around him, squeezing him into oblivion. Two hard thrusts and he came inside her, gushing his cream inside her body, and bathing her womb.

She collapsed against him, wrapping her arms around him and he held her close, nuzzling her neck.

“I love you,” she murmured sleepily.

His heart warmed and swelled to great proportions inside his chest. “I love you too, Buffy.”

Forever, he added in his mind.





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