Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation... ~ Oscar Wilde
After showering and getting ready as fast as she could, Buffy rang Spike to find out where he’d gone so she could inform him she was coming over so they could work this out.
“Hello?”
“Where are you?” she asked, cutting right to the chase.
“I’m outside your door.”
Her heart leapt. He was there! Shutting her phone, she ran to the door and flung it open. He opened his mouth to speak, and Buffy flew into his arms, nearly knocking him over.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she said into his shoulder. “I should have called you, I should have at least given you the benefit of the doubt instead of avoiding you and acting like a nut case. I do love you, and I don’t want this to be the end. Please say it’s not the end.”
The minute she felt his arms wrap around her tightly, she felt relief flood through her. Unless he was just lulling her into a false sense of security. She tensed again and held on tighter.
“You’ve got a good grip there kitten,” he remarked.
“Oh, sorry, am I crushing you?”
“Would it make me less manly if I said yes?”
“A little, but it’s all right. I’m freakishly strong.”
She let go of him and stepped back into her apartment. “Come in.”
Following her in, he shut the door behind him and faced her. “Buffy, I love you.”
Relief, and then, tense again. “But?”
He furrowed his brow, “What do you mean, but?”
“I’m just preparing myself. You love me, but…you can’t get over how I didn’t trust you and you want to break up?”
He shook his head, “No. I most certainly do not want to break up. That’s what you thought?”
“You were so angry and hurt last night. Because of me and I thought that maybe you’d decided I was more trouble than I was worth. I’m not much of a beggar, but I was fully prepared to beg to get you back.”
He grinned. “Oh? And how would you beg?”
She smiled and bit her bottom lip, studying him. “Well, first I’d wrap my arms around you.” Walking over to him, she did just that, and he held her in return.
“Then?” he prompted.
“Then I’d nibble on your ear,” she said softly and leaned in taking his lobe between her teeth and biting down softly. “Then I’d kiss you down your neck,” she murmured and dotted kisses from his ear down his neck to the other side and then took the other lobe in her mouth to nibble. “Then, I’d kiss you. Passionately.” She claimed his mouth with hers, her heart clamoring in her chest. She was never very good at seduction and she was hoping she was doing it right. The last thing she needed was to be laughed at.
She realized however, that he was not going to laugh at her when he instead moaned into her mouth, and pulled her even closer, cupping the back of her head. She was fully prepared to get completely into this and have that make – up sex that Willow had talked about that morning, but then he stopped.
He stopped. Leaving her breathless and wanting. She nearly fell over when he stepped away. She stared at him, panting. “What is it?”
“Don’t you think we need to talk first?” he said, panting as well.
“Let me get this straight. I’m throwing myself at you and you want to talk?”
“I’m just getting less and less manly today I suppose.”
She let out a calming sigh. “You’re right. We should talk.”
“Right. That was just a preview for later.”
“Exactly. Well, do you want to start?”
“How about with sitting down?”
“Sure,” and Buffy turned to head toward the couch. Sitting down, she patted the spot next to her and he gratefully sat, sporting a nice erection, she proudly noted.
“Buffy, I expected a lot out of you. I expected you to forget all that I’d done before and make it not matter. I know that it’s an incredible leap for you to go from hearing about me on the prowl, to being the one I’m with. You’ve got to wonder if I’ll treat you the way I treated them.”
“Right,” she said nodding in agreement. “But while we’ve been together, you’ve given me no indication to not trust you.”
“But still. What I’d done is still there. I’m just asking you to give me the chance to prove to you that I’m not that guy anymore. I can’t be when I’m with you. I love you so much, Buffy,” he told her ardently.
Reaching for his hand, she grasped it in hers and squeezed. “I know you do. I love you too. You were right, I should have called. I’m scared, Spike. I’m scared and everything’s happened so fast with us, the whole moving thing…”
“And it wasn’t fair of me to be a hypocrite and jump to conclusions about you and Riley,” he told her tugging her closer to him until she was sitting across his lap, their arms wrapped around each other.
“I don’t blame you really for that. But you know I do hate him, right?”
“Why’d you go out with him?”
“He told me he had contacts in L.A. to help me out. I only went to further my career.”
“Does he?”
“Well, uh… sort of came on to me instead.”
Spike growled. “He what?”
“I told him he was an idiot.”
“Where’s he work? I’d like to give him the punch in the face I didn’t give him last night.”
Buffy giggled. “Spike, I can’t say it enough. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t call again. I’m sorry that I avoided you, and I’m sorry that my insecurities and my stupid paranoia got the best of me. I’m so afraid and I didn’t handle it well at all. I should have told you before I left. I just didn’t want to make you upset with me…” she held onto him, burying her face in his neck and letting the tears, the never ending tears, fall.
“Buffy, pet, listen to me. What happened last night was a mix of miscommunication, exhaustion, fear, some anger and hurt and whole lot of just…reacting instead of thinking. By the time we got to each other last night, we were both frazzled.”
“I shouldn’t have made you come out here—“
“You didn’t make me.”
“If I just would have—“
“Stop. There’s a whole lot of ‘should have’s’ here, for both of us, not just one. I’m scared too, Buffy. I’m petrified because this is the first real relationship I’ve been in. This is the first time I’ve been in love. I’m afraid of losing you, I’m afraid of being with you and having something come along and fuck it all up and…this is all new to me too.”
“What do we do now?”
“Talk more.”
“That sounds good to me.”
“I want you to be open and honest with me about what you’re feeling.”
“Same for you,” she said and poked him.
“Of course.”
“So we work on this together.”
“Yes. Together instead of apart.”
She took a deep breath. “Spike?”
“Yes, luv?”
“I don’t think I want to move yet.”
He froze, “What?”
“I want to move, I just don’t want to do it in – nine days now?”
“When—when do you want to?”
She pulled back and looked at him, “In a month. I just…I need some time. Not that I don’t want to be with you, but like we said, everything’s happened so fast and I feel crazy right now. Like I haven’t been able to catch my breath.”
“I understand that,” he said slowly, “But God, Buffy, I don’t know if I can stand to be away from you for a month.”
“I feel the same. Which is why I have a plan.”
“And that is?”
“You stay here with me for a little bit, and send Alicia out to stay too.”
He regarded her for a moment, expressionless, and then burst into a beaming smile. “You want to do that?”
She nodded, “I do. I just want to get things in order the right way, instead of just haphazardly doing it and then just being a mess.”
“Slow and steady wins the race?”
She smiled, “Exactly.”
“I bet Alicia would love Boston.”
Buffy grinned, “You think so?”
Spike nodded and nuzzled her neck. “Yup. I’m sure I could sweet talk Sam into letting her come out.”
“Maybe I should do it.”
“Oi!”
“Well, you can sweet talk, but you fail when it comes to Sam.”
Spike laughed, “Good point.”
“Can we commence with the make up sex now?”
Toppling her into the couch, Spike growled and was about to tear her tank off when his phone shrilled in his pocket.
“You better get that,” Buffy said breathlessly.
“Buffy…” Spike moaned.
“Remember what happened yesterday with not answering phones?”
Grumbling, Spike reached into his pocket and barked, “Hello” into his phone.
“So, you ready to sue Faith?” Randy answered.
“What?”
“Faith paid off some reporter with past pictures of you. Seems she paid quite a hefty sum to do it too, and then distributed them to other magazines, selling them as new, not old. She also paid a hefty sum for the recent picture of you with that brunette. She got wind that Buffy was away and figured that was her best time to strike.”
“That bitch,” Spike snarled and sat back, leaving Buffy staring up at him, wondering what was going on.
“Are you with Buffy?”
“Yes.”
“Did you make up?”
“Yes.”
“Was I interrupting you?”
“Yes.”
“Randy laughed. “I’ll let you go. Call me later.”
Clicking the phone shut, Spike sighed, “So, Randy figured out who published those pictures.”
Buffy sat up, “Who?”
“Faith.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed, “I’m gonna kill that bitch!”
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